RandomThoughts

Daily posts - either fiction or non-fiction - about what goes on in my life (includes thoughts too now)

Day 1 This is my first post, in an attempted daily series of writings about my life; posts are a mixture of fiction and non-fiction from day to day. It's an exercise in order to force myself to begin writing more regularly.

First of the series shall start tomorrow, so find out next time on...well you know rest.

Day 2 Sitting down to write was harder than I thought, I even attempted to try and delay the post itself. Procrastination. That's often a word I find associating with myself. This laziness that I tend to blame for my lack of not really doing anything.

Despite this blog being intended to blab on about what I do in a single day, its difficult not to begin to blab on about myself. Rather beffitting that I start my work with a short introduction about my least favoured charateristic, and thus my intention to begin this journey of attempting to defeat this demon.

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Day 3 It all began last summer, when I heard a noise emitting from my wardrobe. A strange deep, heavy growling of sorts. I initially ignored it, blamed it something or another but I heard it again a few nights later. They seemingly were getting longer and louder as well as a tad more frequent.

I got up off of my bed. Summing up as much courage as I could...I walked closer to the wardrobe, in the dead of night pshycing myself up as I approached closer to the wardrobe. Usually a sort journey – a couple of steps or so – seemed to go on for ages. I hear a sudden creaking. I pause, I feel the life drain from my body and a cold sweat but I quickly regained composure after realising it was the floor board.

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Day 4 Today was a day like every other it seems, but with my mind plagued utter, hopeless boredom. Questioning my sanity at times as I found myself being disinterested by anything I come across trying to fill this void. S o f u c k i n g b o r e d. Kept running around the brain ultimately being unable to watch or interact with anything for more than a few minutes and resulting in huffing and puffing, flailing my arms around like child.

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Day 5 It's Sunday. Leave me alone. :D

Day 6 As I awoke, I spent little time on my phone (sort of a new rule I have now) I rushed forth to my think chamber (yes, its my shower) and it offered me a lot of clarity on my motivations of writing. I started this endeavour almost a week ago now, and thought about doing it far longer. What really came to mind is about how nonchalant and blasé I've been about all of this, despite being something I wanted to do. I guess it quite sums me up as a person, putting very little into things I do in life. That paired with my other unfavourable characteristic and you wonder how I get anything done.

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Day 7 Wow, its been a whole ass week already, a part of me is proud to have done this non-stop for an entire week. It doesn't sound like much I know but it is for me. Being this consistent over a task that isn't that important shows me that I have the capacity for it, that I pushed through when I wanted to quit.

It's apart of my new aims in life of attempting to build more of a productive life. To couple intention with action, I mean it took me awhile to even get to the point where I'm writing on a daily basis and I've had this idea since April/May. I'm getting close to the age where I can observe my last 10 years and have the probability of regretting my actions over some of them, this independing realisation of responsibility and accountability has entered the fray. I don't want to be in my 30s and look back on my 20s and think “Man I wish I did something other than work during that time.”

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Day 8 Today was especially difficult to wake up, mainly because I slept at 3 which I haven't done in awhile. I did watch a film for the first time in ages, it was enjoyable but it did infringe upon my routine which isn't ideal for my new attempted routine. But I managed to stay off of my phone, gave my mind its due right to think. If it's spent occupied in chat then it has less time spent on thinking. Granted this blog as been on the ol'noggin quite a bit, so I do wish to start focusing on other things and projects I have in mind.

Most of my day was occupied with work and to be real these are the days I find the most difficult, the feeling that my life force is being drained for someone's dream (yes, I know its rather cliché) but it's rooted deep within me, the need to do more. I need to start taking things more seriously. I need to dedicate more time to things I feel merit them, however I can't be overwhelmed at the sight of anothers' success. Its quite the predicament.

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Day 9 So, back to normal today, slept as usual and woke up as usual. But I didn't want to write too early today. Wanted to let my thoughts mellow and reflect a little on things. I've been feeling an increase of stress in regards to some decisions I have to make in my life. I don't remember when I stopped handling stress well, maybe when it become life impacting but that's not to say I'm going to breakdown and curl up in a ball because unfortunately – or fortunately depending how you look at it – I can't reallly afford that luxury. Time waits for no man as they say. So I just got to buckle down and think about my future, fight past the stress, the overwhelming cold waves of the ocean swallowing me whole not allowing me to breath. It feels like I don't have time to think about things either which doesn't help nor the people to talk to. So I'm even more in my head about things.

But I shall persevere because I just have to do so.

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Day 10 The big 1 0, double digits, I'm pretty chuffed that I got this far. Yes, yes I know the patting on the back is getting a bit annoying I mean I'm only writing nonsense everyday; it isn't that hard. BUT it means something to me and that's all that matters ahah.

Well in all honesty today I feel pretty good, a contributing factor is the fact that my IKEA desk drawers finally came (AFTER 3 WEEKS!!) and I get to build them at some point today (I still need a good chair though) which has its merits provided it all goes smoothly. So for the first time since March I'm going to have a proper sitting desk, my body will thank me for this greatly no doubt. I'm hoping my productivity shall improve also and I can start doing the stuff I wanted to.

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