July 17, 2020
Day 41: Covid and Nursing Homes
Since March 15 I have not been able to visit, hug, or kiss, my parents in the nursing home. It’s not that they aren’t cared for because they are, as well as can be expected. Plus the nursing home is very good at keeping me informed of the facility and the safety and well-being of mom and dad. Thankfully with technology, we attempt FaceTime and I visit them both standing or sitting outside dads room. I guess it could be a lot worse.
As I visited them today through the window, there were so many small things I naturally would have done in their presence. Comb their hair, brush their teeth, put lotion on their hands, hang new pictures, trim nails and paint them, help sort stuff they have collected these many weeks, shaving them, tidying up their room. Helping them to understand why I can’t take dads tray through the window, or why can’t I help do this or that was the real challenge. Also note to self, be careful how much you take to give them, it overwhelms them and they they don’t know what to do with it.
I quite often come away feeling so unsettled. I realize that the real mom and dad are there physically just not always mentally. I’m learning not to be so sensitive, but I do miss them. Things that normally bothered me, I’m learning to except. Coming away being thankful helps tremendously. Thankfully, I was able to see them another day, thankful they were alert enough to know me and talk to me. Thankful they were doing good enough to sit up and even grumble and complain a little. You know, thankfulness rids me of being unsettled. Maybe this time of social distancing with Covid has helped me to let go of them a little easier.