// 9:30 am

Well, I got sucked into the dirty depths of the internet for a while this morning, getting lost in a forum on Reddit called “Trashy” or something similar to that. I didn't mean to get into that, but it's one of those things that just popped up when scrolling through my feed. And I think it's one of those horrific things that you see, but yet you can't look away? The more you scroll, the more disturbed you are, but for whatever reason you just keep going. And then 40 minutes later, you come back to reality and feel absolutely... well, disgusting and trashy. Blah.

I'm the type of person that would love a small little cottage in the forest, with my own solitude and privacy, away from the majority of society. It's not that I hate people, necessarily. I find beauty in just about everything, and usually tend to be pretty optimistic – even with my natural “punk rock” mindset and personality. I just don't align with the majority of society, and what the focus, obsessions, interests, and mindset are of the majority of society. I feel that I see the world differently, want different things, and crave a different type of experience than the mainstream population. Overall, I don't care at all about what others care about, to be blunt. I see things as illusions mostly – distracting “shiny shit” – and I try to live a bit more consciously, and use compassion as one of my guiding lights in this crazy world of so many dark things. Overall, I don't understand so many things. I realize that I'm a different type of person, and so I would rather put myself towards creating the world I want for myself, and my own experience, while doing all I can to be a light to the experience of others I come in contact with, and even those that I don't.

My house is a jungle, quite literally. I have hundreds of plants in my home. I do have a TV in my bedroom, but it's rather dusty from not being used that much. When it is used, it's for documentaries mostly. Sure, the occasional movie is played when the lady and I want to disconnect and be mindless for a while. But, with most shows and movies being based on situations, experiences, and energies that aren't the most positive or fulfilling, we tend to stay away from them. Usually when we watch a movie, we kind of regret it, as we notice how we feel afterwards, and it's not always the best. I mean, why consume murder and death and abuse and negativity as “entertainment”? Why subject yourself to watching others suffer and die? The human experience is rather weird sometimes, and when you really step back and look at ourselves, what we do, what we consume, what we create – and destroy – the brutality and suffering we create for other living beings, and ourselves, and even to what we use as “entertainment”, it's rather disturbing and depressing. We literally pay to watch murder, suffering, rape, and disaster. We like the thrill of it, apparently, and love to watch people suffer and arise from that suffering. But, man, is it hard to consume.

I fully believe that you become what you consume. And not only with food, but with all media as well: music, movies, shows, images, etc.

Anyway... my house is a jungle, as I said above. I have a crap-load of plants in my house, as I decided to create a little oasis for myself. A space of peace and love and welcoming. As I love nature and the outdoors, I felt the need to create that world within, so I can be surrounded by that stillness even when I can't get out in the mountains. I even ran a popular Instagram account focused on my home and plants and living more consciously, where I had tens of thousands of followers and growing rapidly. My home was even featured in some magazines and had some attention that way. I gave up IG years ago and don't use any social media anymore, except the occasional browse through Twitter or Reddit. But only occasionally and through a private browser, as I don't have any apps downloaded on my phone.

Instead of a TV in my main living area, I have plants. And also a little speaker that plays the sounds of a forest (bird sounds) 24/7. So when you walk into my house, you're immediately met with vines of leaves hanging from the entryway, leaves cascading down 20 feet from above. I have some humidifiers going that keep the air a little more moist and cool, and of course, the plants dump a lot of oxygen into the air. The first breath you take after coming into my home is meant to instantly relax you and transport you to a new world. You have to move around plants to get through my house, which was intentional. I wanted a deep connection with nature at all times, where you realize that you aren't just a part of nature, you ARE nature. And you're forced to exist in the same spaces together, as one. The bird sounds that play 24/7 only help to seduce you further into the experience. It's not difficult to sit on my couches, and feel the effects of the jungle-space, and just relax deeply in to the present moment.

I've done some meditation this morning, a little work on the laptop, and got side-tracked with Reddit and all that absurdity. Now, I feel disgusting, and need to get myself back “on track”. It's time to get ready to head out to the farm, and get a few things done that require me to be there physically. And then, it's the weekend!

I don't really have set plans just yet, except to get my new tent “seasoned”, which means I need to set it up, spray it down and soak it with water, which allows the cotton fibers to swell, and then tighten up when they dry, which helps in waterproofing the entire canvas tent. From then on, it should last a lifetime with proper love and care, which I fully intend to provide. Otherwise, my lady is entering her “lady time”, which means we'll be chilling the next few days, lounging in comfort, reading, meditating, and writing. I'll be whipping up some delicious plant-based meals for us and doing all I can to comfort her, while allowing space for myself to enjoy my own experience as well. More on all of that, later, I'm sure.

Well, off to the farm. Back soon.

/mg