It's now 7:11 pm as I write this sentence. I'm laying on my couch in my plant-filled living room. My lady (I still haven't picked a name for her yet, clearly) is reading a book for work. She's on the same couch, and we are in a 'head-to-toe' style of hanging out. The couch is deep enough to handle that, even though it's not the most comfortable. But, it earns me some 'cutesy boyfriend points', which apparently I have to worry about collecting for whatever reason.
The day today was pretty uneventful. We really didn't do much except hang around the house, being rather lazy. It was so damn hot outside, and we were just not feeling up to doing much. The idea of hiking came up, but that never manifested. I watched some YouTube, did some reading, and did go for a very short walk around the block. But, overall, I just kept feeling more and more unmotivated for just about anything. I guess I could say that I dipped down into a little depressive state for several hours, mostly fueled by boredom, and mixed in with a slow dripping line of “what's the point in anything”. Those mixtures can surely cause anyone to whirlpool downward, and quickly.
The lady and I did a quick trip to the gym, mostly fueled by me making us go. I felt the need to 'shake it up' a bit, and to get myself out of my little mental funk. Changing up the environment and physical activity are the best ways to do it super quickly. She didn't really feel in the mood to go – which is super rare – but, we made it. We rode the bikes for a while, and kept it pretty minimal. I did some reading the entire time, and ended up doing about 5 miles on a semi-tough intensity level on the bike, but I definitely wasn't interested in pushing it. I figured, while I was reading anyways, I could at least move my legs a little and get my heart pumping. A pathetic attempt at 'working out' was better than no attempt, right!?
While sweating, I was reading a few blurbs from a book called, I Am That: Talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj. It's one I've read dozens of times over the last 15 years or so, and re-read it constantly – the same with the Tao Te Ching – and continuously find intense value throughout each of them. They are definitely more “spiritual” texts, so if self-realization isn't your thing, then you shouldn't give any further interest towards those titles. But for me, it's been a constant interest/pursuit, with a theme of my life being molded around the concepts of spirituality since I was little.
Maybe one day I'll get into all of that topic more, as I've done some crazy stuff in my time, including studying Zen for about 6 years, and even living as a homeless person for a few weeks, as a little experiment brought on by my seeking of a 'spiritual transformation'. I played in a punk rock band for about 12 years as well, and was given the nickname, the “Zen Punk”, as I was often found reading books about consciousness, meditation, and Buddhism, instead of going to after-show parties.
Maybe stories for another day of writing.
Through my “don't give a shit” attitude tonight, I was trying to figure out what to eat for dinner. I was craving junk food badly, of course. The bad mindset I was in was feeding into those thoughts and would easily support each other, growing deeper. I wanted nothing else besides bags of chips, fake meats, popcorn and candy, etc., but I knew if I caved I would be pretty upset with myself. It's just not worth it, I've learned so many times.
I was thinking over which genre of food I was interested in – burgers, soups, burritos, casserole, etc – and finally decided that breakfast food sounded wonderful. But, even the vegan versions of breakfast are usually full of oils and fake stuff and processed flours etc., which I've been avoiding for a while now as they are kah-kah poo-poo for your system. But, while browsing around online, I found a recipe from the Forks Over Knives website (fantastic documentary, btw – watch it if you've never seen it. Free on several streaming platforms) in the breakfast section, and it was all entirely whole-food plant-based, meaning there's no processed junk involved (and of course, vegan).
It called for oats, which you ground up into a flour, flaxseed, ground up, a mashed banana, and plant-milk (I have unsweetened vanilla almond milk on hand already). The milk was as “bad” as it would get, really, in terms of “fake” or “processed” – even though I often make my own plant milks. And with this delicious breakfast meal, you can even use fresh fruit to make a fruit topping instead of gunky syrup.
It sounded wonderful to have a freaking pancake feast.
So, that's what we did.
I blended up the oats in my Vitamix, which I always have tons of on-hand (.60/lb at my local groceries bulk section) along with all the other ingredients, and had the batter ready to go in just a couple quick minutes.
We did one test pancake, just to see how it would turn out, and to let me know if I should tweak the recipe in any way – which we added cinnamon, and added more milk to thin it out more. But, otherwise, it was ready to go. We made a bunch of large and thick pancakes, and topped it with some banana purée and blueberry mixture that was made fresh, and bam! – one hell of an incredibly delicious dinner.
The lady loved it. I loved it. And we decided to add it to “THE MENU”, which is what we call the list of foods that we repeatedly have in our normal cycle of meals. Some foods aren't worthy of being added to the menu, and are tossed aside and only brought up again if we're desperate. But, usually, we eat pretty simply, and repeat a lot of the same meals. We love this thick veggie stew that we make, as it's loaded with just about every veggie we love, including potatoes and sweet potatoes, carrots, tofu, multiple beans, quinoa, celery, broccoli, onions, peppers, and more. We'll make a huge batch of it in the Instapot, and it will last us most of a week.
We also love “hashes” of all kinds, where we just throw together whatever ingredients we have on hand and mix it up. Throw it into a bowl and top with hot sauce or something creamy, like a vegan cheese we make from cashews and seasonings. Yum!
“Mexi-bowls” are another favorite, and probably the most popular and frequent thing we have, as Mexican food is just freaking bomb – and so cheap. We do quinoa, multiple beans (black, pinto, refried, etc), a load of whatever fresh veggies we have on hand. We put a warm tortilla down at the bottom of a bowl, and basically add all the ingredients you would to a burrito of your liking. Top it with freshly made salsa and guacamole, and bam, incredible!
Sorry this post has turned into food porn, but, oh well. It's all good stuff.
It's now 7:47 pm. I think I'm going to sign off for tonight and try to do some reading, and maybe watch a movie or something with the lady. I'm not really looking forward to getting back to work again, but, it'll be here before we know it. Until then, I'll try to be present and enjoy the last few hours I have of this weekend.
I hope you all are doing so well!
/mg
mrgr3y at protonmail dot com