//8:42 am
Gooooood morning!
I'm still in bed. I've been browsing around the net on my laptop for a bit, just making sure the world is still there. I can see outside my window that it's going to be a beautiful day. I keep telling myself I need to get outside and go hiking, or at least go for a long walk, but that sh*t probably won't happen. We'll see though.
After yesterday's three-hour long nap I've had one of those groggy-type headaches which carries into this morning. I'm going to take some Excedrin here shortly and knock that out. Plus I've been chugging a ton of water, which usually helps too. But I've got a whole new case of Diet Dr. Pepper I'm going to become one with later today. I switched to the diets a few months or so ago and I hated it at first, but now I really enjoy them. My goal is to rid myself of all phony stuff like that, so I keep telling myself this is a temporary phase to allow these, but, for now, I keep them around and I'm at peace with that.
I had the most beautiful dream, and met the most wonderful and beautiful person. I kid you not, if I were to believe in soul-mates this person would be it. I've already forgotten so many details about it, including a lot of details about this person, which I was hoping I could hold on to a few memories, and it breaks my heart. The events of the dream weren't anything surreal, or amazing. Were were in some crummy house – it might have even been a larger hotel. There seemed to be some family around staying with us as well – parent figures, grandparent figures, as well as some that seemed to be friends. But she and I connected right away, and so deeply. The night was spent hanging out on the crummy couches, talking, laughing, and being intimate. Not just being intimate in the physical form, but, it was so much deeper – dare I say, spiritual. We connected at levels that I've never known were possible to connect with another person. It was all pure joy. No desire, no rules, no expectations – just joy.
Now, I barely remember a thing beyond what I just mentioned above. The details have faded, including her face which I hoped to remember. But, the feeling is still there, and I think that's the only detail worth remembering. The focus of it all wasn't the setting or the other people. Those only seemed to be placed there to help make it seem more 'real' in order for the dream to be bought by me. The playground where our exchange and interaction could take place in a believable setting, only so the setting could be set aside and the focus be on each other.
Imagine hearing the most beautiful song you've ever heard. One that includes all ranges of emotions – sadness, loneliness, anger, desperation, fear, worry, happiness, joy, peace, stillness, love – and have it played softly, in the background, like a movie where all the scenes are artistically presented, nearly in slow motion so every detail can be absorbed and experienced. It's like laying in a wide open field of safety and peace, and staring up at the nights sky of your soul and going deeper than you've known existed. It was absolutely beautiful.
Was it a message? Was it something I'm supposed to take with me and use later on? Or was it simply just a moment created, shared and experienced where presence was the only intent? Maybe there doesn't have to be a lesson with everything. Maybe, just be there, in that moment, and be fully present is all it's about. Not only for that moment, but all of them. Allowing yourself to go deep enough into each moment to experience all those ranges of emotions and that connection to each other, and yourself.
Every moment is beautiful.
/mg