The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Flip
DISCLAIMER: this blog post will have nothing to do with the title
I need some weed. It has been two years since I've had weed and it is high time (lol) i find a source to buy some of it. I won't have any money for it anytime soon because I have a book to print/publish and though that will be super-cool, I do find myself sometimes wondering if that is the highest priority in my life at the moment and I always come back to the conclusion that it most certainly is.
Then again, I neglected, put off, whatever getting a tattoo a couple weeks ago like I said i was going to do, so, maybe I should go ahead and get inked here shortly? Would be cool, I suppose. I don't wanna get sucked into that whole “tattoos are addicting” thing again though because they certainly ARE and I go crazy when I want one “in-the-moment” but can't necessarily afford to get one at that exact moment :/
But I can probably get a tattoo soon here because i never have any plans for my money. It's gotta happen, I think. No overthinking it. Just DOING it!
This has been my nightly blog post.
there ARE times
when i wish i didn't have to deal with people anymore
particularly members of my family
they infuriate me. often.
I should have never shown my god damn face at my neices gay fucking party. May as well have been a fucking smackhead at an AA meeting. Fucking pariah.
Anyway, I am home now and I am going to do what I always do with my free time which is forget that my family even fucking exists.
So I am sitting here, vaping, just had coffee, and gonna enjoy a nice night in. By myself. I also have some therapy paperwork that I am going to work on a little bit later.
That's about it for now.
after a bout of starving...
...i finally got some (tasty) groceries. Was really coming down to the wire for a while there as far as food goes because i am always broke and...yeah. This has to last until Tuesday when I go grocery shopping. That's chillin'.
I am bored, burned out, and broke. I got nothing to do these days even though I applied for TWO writing jobs (two in one day is a lot for me), heard back from neither, and built up my LinkedIn profile as much as I could just...for shits and giggles, I guess. I have no “pro” experience + no degree so I may as well be useless. I do have pro-blogging experience but that is such old stuff that it is LITERALLY not on the Internet anymore + nothing I was v proud of to feature on a portfolio, anyway.
Whatever.
Job hunting and the like
Applied to a writing job today. Found it on Craigslist and it is in the STL area (or remote), so that is good. I also built up my LinkedIn profile a bit, made more connections. Posted the last blog post on the network as well. To sort of let people know that I am starting from scratch on LinkedIn/life/career. Luckily, all my good writing samples are written. I am proud of my longform work. I am going to put the “best of the best” on Medium.com at some point because that is somewhat professional, I suppose (as long as I keep a copy OFF of Medium, as well, so I am not dependent on the service).
The book is still happening. I am going to publish “Essays” next month is physical copy and distribute to those interested + put one copy each in SLCL and SLPL. Gonna be fun.
So We Meet Again
Blogging does not hurt me. Blogging does not occupy too much of my time. Blogging is not subtracting from my life. Blogging helps me as a writer. Blogging is an enjoyable thing I like to do in my life. So why stop?
As far as the Tumblr (oleary.io) is concerned: yea, i'm not updating there anymore because I want to let it sit and chill and rest and allow people to focus on the last post on there in case anyone gives a fuck about the book i am releasing (not that it will be an e-book. It will be an IRL, physical book), and contact info on there should they have any questions about...anything.
Reviewing College
I have been looking at my options. What little remains of my student loan (1, singular) is being paid off within the month and after that I can start applying for grants and whatnot and I am 100% swearing off accruing any debt in order to get my higher ed degree. This means a very humble approach as far as what i pursue in terms of what degree I get (either AA/AAS/Certificate).
And you know what? I am 100% not stressed about college whatsoever at all. If it gives me joy and fulfillment by enrolling, achieving a higher ed degree, cool. That's rad. I am not going to live and die by my GPA/school progress. I am the first in my immediate family to attend college and they are not pushing me in any way, shape, nor form towards a degree. I am 110% on my own as far as academics are concerned. Either it is an experience in life that I can look back on with fondness, or it isn't worth experiencing. No compromises.
And on another note: I have actual real coffee right now so I am going to enjoy some of that.
Hello again.
blue light bae
turned off the bluelight filter (or on, however you say it) on the Tab A and now i don't eye strain anymore. SO nice!
I am also thinking about doing laundry tonight but the reality is, i am going to do it tomorrow before the sun comes up so i don't fry in the sun.
i also realize that i have basically nothing to write about right now. Just killing time until I get the book (physically!!!) published. That is going to be a big deal for me and esp since i am doing it 100% on my own w/ my OWN publisher (that being ME). If it weren't for the ISBN cost, I would already have it out by now, but I gotta fork out $125 for the ISBN next month. Then Pondered Publishers will be a real thing, too. So, that's cool.
I can't wait to physically hold this thing in my hand.
that was a warm walk
i walked to Dierbergs this AM because i was energized from two multivitamins + had a giftcard so i figured: “why not?”. I just got one Monster & then got my ass back home before the Telegraph traffic turned insane. As far as today's plans, I think i have laundry to do. I also have to (er...wantto) buy a packa smokies because fuck it that's why. CLeaning the apt is a priority as well. Gotta stay on top ;)
brb
Heck 'em
This is a thing I have been saying often whenever I get too stressed about something. Just...heck 'em. lol.
I am making java (coffee not script) and starting my day. I think i am doing laundry (here) today + will probz buy a pack of smokes because i am self-destructive like that a lot of the time (idgaf).
I'm foolish
The Twitter app has been deleted. After a lot of trial and error, i have decided that deleting my Twitter acct altogether does absolutely nothing in terms of whether or not I use the service. I would just re-activate the acct. So I will leave it stand, app un-installed, and just...not use it.
I also cleaned up the homescreen of the Tab A a bit. For all the sit I have said in the past about Internet security and the dangers of AI, I figure keeping my info off the Internet is still a good idea, but I am going to use Google's Personal Assistant for the simplest of tasks (checking the weather and this and that and whatnot whathaveyou (lol)).
As of now, Personal Assistant is the only app I have on my homescreen (besides a tiny clock widget).
Anyway, the night is young. The sun is down. The air is fresh. Life is good.
So look at that, Twitter Time
Bad bad bad thing. I went 72 ours w/o Twitter and eventually it got to the pont where it was a giant, dead, rotting elephant in the room. Truly addicted. Not fighting it.
But it was the most productive 72 hours I have had in a long time. I have been updating this blog along the way so there is no need to mention here all the stuff I got done, but, it is all good. Trust me.
Helllllooooooooo