diary

diarist | punker | anarcho-minimalist

Made weak coffee

I wasn't sure how to make this coffee because I put two heaping tablespoons in the mug i made earlier, thinking it would be just like regular, ground coffee but this is instant coffee, so it is much more potent. I only used half a tablespoon this time, and it turned out drinkable, but a little weak. Oh well.

Dark times in America, they are. I read a story on Medium just now (a Medium.com exclusive) titled “Do Americans Know How Much Trouble They're In?” and it was an appropriate title because we, Americans, ARE in fact in a lot of trouble in regards to the authoritarian government that has taken over Washington D.C. I read the article in-full (and saved it to Pocket for future reference) and it was a sort of history lesson in the collapse of many empires in centuries past, but, one thing that I see, that may make this time different (stay with me), is not so much that it is democracy, itself, that we must worry about (though it is included in the cart), but the Earth and what will happens when flooding, amongst many natural disasters, continue to get worst and worse? Yes, to answer the question of the article I read, the answer most assuredly is “Yes, I know the amount of trouble America (and for that matter all of it's citizens, including me) is in.”

So...am I deflecting the “REAL” issue of American democracy being the main topic/issue worthy of the world's attention by saying that global warming and the immense destruction soon to face Earth's ecological system is the main focus HUMANS (all over the globe) should be concentrating on?

I say “No”. People need to look at the common sense fact that; without an Earth (a habitable one) to speak of, we need not concern ourselves with maintaining a democracy. Remember, democracy was just a “theory” at one point centuries past, and it was one that turned out to be a very effective, very powerful tool for the “progress” humans have made. But, like I have mentioned many times before, do humans “NEED” progress? We, ourselves, are not evolving. We are simply living day-to-day, doing the best we can, and our bodies remain virtually unchanged for all of recorded history (or at least since we created to tools to which retain a record, of...anything). So when someone says “the evolution” of modern-day humans (yes, we DID evolve from monkeys, and also, yes, that was a pretty fucking long time ago), they are confusing what they are perceiving as the “illusion” of progress-making with ACTUAL evolution of the species.

So let's not make mistakes. Let's not put progress, social issues, or even democracy before the VERY platform we need to even possess any of those things. Let's concentrate our energy on our actual planet.

This is my take.

What If...

.....we didn't look at porn? I mean most everyone does it. Commonplace, really. I have no clue if this were the case before the Internet existed and to be honest, I don't care. I know porn existed before the WWW, but I don't know how many people were purveyors of the content. Anyway, think about it; if you left the Internet, what would be the one thing that you would want/need that would inevitably draw you back to your device?

Porn!

Just my take.

Luckily i have a blog to fall back on

That is, THIS blog. A blog i care about. One that isn't narcissistic, or influential, or inspiring, or branded, or anything. Just an Online Journal. A diary of keepsaking my thoughts/ideas/writings on the WWW for anyone (who bothers to) to read. I admit, I bought the Pro version, etc. but the readers here are just from read.write.as And that's chillin'. I know (very little when I am honest with myself) some things about blogging professionally (did so for five years), but it was more about hammering out content and “getting lucky” sometimes.

I cannot wait for a zeitgeist-type of shift in society to quit social networks. I can't do it. I either slam the pandora's box shut cold turkey or say “fuck all” to my life. I can think for myself.

Anyway, new topic: I did a lot of grocery shopping this AM but forgot to take my heartburn meds so, I am in heartburn hell atm, even though I didn't eat a lot of food today. Hope thi clears up by 11 PM or so.

Going Off Of Social Media

I am going to write this because I just deleted Twitter and Instagram (the apps, not the accts) because i was posed (tho not personally) a question on a video I just watched on YouTube that said “I challenge everyone to go one week without social media.

Fair enough

If I can spend a month without the Internet, I can certainly remain online and go off social media. So today is Tuesday (fuck what hour it is), I am not going to go on social media until next Tuesday.

I have not had a Facebook account in about a year (and i am keeping it that way), but, I am outspoken about that service/company online because I believe it is extremely nefarious (up to no good). The social media networks (which plum didn't exist a little over 10 years ago) are making addicts out of all of us. Turning us into complacent, stupid consumers who do nothing but boost our dopamine levels through narcissistic showboating and reaping the rewards via Likes on Insta, Twitter,...all of them.

There are very bad societal problems with all of this, such as being non-participatory in a democracy. You see: people don't just have to donate, march, etc. but actually, really, authentically CARE about the communities they are in. If (in the back of their mind) they are more preoccupied with what is happening on their newsfeed and are putting their social media addiction before anything else, then everything we have (and take for granted) in society will be lost.

Think about this: have you met a heroin addict? Do they proactively participate in demonstrations? Do they donate to organizations? Do they have intellectual conversations with neighbors about what is RIGHT and WRONG in their communities? No. They don't. I am not saying addiction (be it heroin or social media) is anyones fault (besides the heroin producers and the social media executives), but that these folks who are hooked on these things need HELP! Not judgement. And most importantly, they need to be in RECOVERY!

I, am an Internet addict. I have admitted this more times than I can count to anyone and everyone who will listen. It started in 2004 when I was hooked on Newgrounds.com and the games, cartoons, short series, etc. on that platform (which predated a lot of features social media sites use this day). I successfully gave Newgrounds the boot (haven't looked back) in 2005 when I left the state of Missouri to go to Florida to get some clarity. My relationship with the Internet persisted in 2006 and on forward, but I wasssss writing for my own blog, professionally, and making money, and when people started to talk-up the craze of MySpace, I saw (on a massive scale) what I was seeing in myself those years I was hooked on Newgrounds. I saw people that, overnight, couldn't imagine their life without that website/service. That, my friends, is ADDICTION!

I can use the Internet responsibly. Sometimes. But not with social media in existence. I would love to see the large scale rollback of people's usage and dependence on social media via...whatever means possible. But I will settle for my own departure from it.

Bad News

I just found out that the fiance of my best friend from childhood passed away from Lupus this past Friday. Pretty tragic considering she was in her 30's and they have a 6 year old son together. #RIP

Today

I did grocery shopping in the AM. Came home and fooled about on the WWW. Met with Kevin. Didn't get angry with him for him arriving an hour early (though I should have). Downloaded a fitness app. Made some appts. And I am now ready to send off this “Rewilding For Repentance” story to the weird world of social media. Let's see how it does.

Dinner soon.

Be back in a bit!

i wrote a good #longform tonight

took a little over an hour to #write it, i think. I lost track of time during the process, tbh. It is called “Rewilding For Repentance” and i created a Medium.com acct just for it (so i can share w/ family and friends w/o them having to view my entire blog/diary/journal/etc. It is a good story and i am v proud of it. Good times writing it. I am hoping it gets a lot of reads/shares, but i am much, Much, MUCH more interested in the feedback from the ppl i know than some share by/from some stranger on the WWW.

So i am sitting here and drinking coffee at 1:46AM (man, is it that late???) and going to get some shut-eye after the caffeine wears off (eventually) and be ready to go when 9:30 rolls around and i do some BIG grocery shopping before the sun starts to scorch everything alive. Gonna be great to be re-stocked on foodskee once again.

It is a pleasant night here. 75-ish degrees w/ the window open but the AC still turned on (bc mugginess) and just listening to the crickets chirp, chirp, chirping away. Very nice, indeed.

Be back in a bit!

Reading About Global Warming

And about how we have triggered the 6th mass extinction without anyone noticing (they still don't notice). The shame of it is, all the stories I have read since 2017 have all said the same thing: this is irreversable. I say these things now and people don't flinch, not because they think I am being melodramatic, but because they know it is true, and there is nothing they can do about it.

If someone wants to write the most relevant piece of writing the Earth will know for the next 100-10,000+ years, they should consider writing the eulogy for the human race, and what we did, and how we are sorry, and how we did not know exactly how to fix what we broke nor had the will power to do so.

I cannot write such a fantastic piece of writing, but someone can, and should.

made the trek back to Dierbergs

survived

got mini-tator tots

ate some

'twas delish

had a pop, too

also, delish

now i am in (the AC) for the night

grocery shopping tomorrow AM

Thank Fuck

Time for Black Metal

That was fun

(not really)

I just fucked around w/ two diff music players (Blackplayer and Vinyl Music Player) and I can NOT get them to recognize the media files i d/l'd from YT (Satyrcon album) no matter what I do. I just went into the AndroZIP File Manager and am listening from some app from there. I would like a dedicated music app w/ artwork, etc. so i can just....listen to my music. But instead I have to go to the file manager and select “audio-only” so i can listen in the background while i do other things on the tablet. I had all of this down to a science on the Kycoera (running Android Lollipop) but i suppose things changed on Android Nougat? I mean don't get me wrong, Nougat is 10,000x's better than Lollipop ever was, but this whole music transfer thing is insane.

Be back in a bit