so what is up people?
it is 2:55AM, i am still awake, & stomach hurts from chugging coffee & water, but i will survive. It is fairly cold outside i am guessing judging by how cold it feels in here. Nevertheless, i am going to sit here & “write” (blog/journal/whatever) for a while bc i am sick of being in the bedroom.
Nothing special happening tomorrow but Monday i am going to call the tax place & double/triple check w/ them to make sure when the check comes in that they do not MAIL it bc i am going to go down there & pick it up & then go straight to the central bank for cashing.
Right after that, i am going straight to Steel & Ink Tattoo to get my rose done. #End
But anyway, boring as fuck tonight. Sorry for the lame update.
taxes taxes taxes
good stuff coming back this year. $700+. That means a decent sized tattoo but also, i am going to give to a couple charities/services in the S County area as well as Disability Resource Association in Festus, MO. bc they help a lot of people. I also plan on paying a month-ahead on my rent here so it will free up more $$$ for March. That will be a v good thing. I am almost thinking abt foregoing a tattoo bc, tbh, this $$$ can be spent much better elsewhere. That isn't to say i would donate all the $$$, i can't afford that, but i can make a couple largER donations & perhaps buy some silver for myself to actually save money. These are all possibilities. I have been looking forward to a tattoo for a long time, but, it isn't totally necessary atm. I have never spent tax $$$ on a tattoo before so i am not sure why i should now. As far as electronics, fuck that. I have what i need & maybe i can convince the moms to finally get a new iPhone so i can have her iPhone 6 & then give the Moto X back to the bro-in-law. idk. would be nice. i will figure it out soon.
wow, what an awful night
i'd cut someone's throat for a cigarette right now but i do not feel like spending the rest of my life in prison so, i am not going to actually do that. suffice it to say, i really need some gd nicotine :(
boredom is fucking awful, too
making some fine fine fine coffee even tho i have already had a shitload this evening. i had to flip the heat on bc it is getting cold af outside, & hence, cold af in here.
this is a nothing blog post
Music Collecky's & Not Colleging
i created an acct w/ Discogs & decided that i want to start a cassette tape collection. Coming back big time these days (200% increase in salesw in the UK in 2017 & up 37% in the US in 2017 as well). I am seeing a lot of people in the Black Metal community collecting the tapes (be it for rarity or bc they love the music (or both, haha) & i want to focus mainly on the Black Metal elements of the collection & then throw in some other stuff too every so often. I have the portable (Lim Ed) all picked out & it is cheap af & i am also going to (finally) get the Audio Technica ATH-M50X over-the-ear headphones that i have been wanting to buy for a few years now. I will have the $$$ after the tattoo, but i am going to have to order these things on the momskee's Amazon acct, i think, & then just give her the physical cash day-of. As far as the Discogs acct goes, i will start the collecky in March, i think, & ordering from there will be no problem bc the money source will be different.
Also, college. I am not going (as you may or may not know) & when it comes to re-enrolling for the Summer semester, i am not going to do that. If i were going to go to college/be dedicated/earn the degree or whateverthefuck, it would have happened by now. It wouldn't have been consistent hang-up after hang-up to get enrolled/pay for classes/attend the classes/etc if i were meant to have a degree. I am more than fucking capable (& have A+ credit hours to prove it) & am uber-smart, it is always logistics that stand in the way. I am sick of the hassle. I am much better off just keeping the brain active on my own & attempting to get a job writing w/ a publication w/ the (small) resume I have & not trying to go the traditional route. Is a college degree a bad thing? Well, it depends. I have ranted at length about what i think abt BA/BS degrees & the debt they create and how that is a huge mistake, but as far as a simple AA/AS/AAS degree & graduating damn near debt-free, awesome. I would recommend anyone to go that route as long as they have the funding straight away to do so. My issue has been w/ the fact that i foolishly took out a $1,200 student loan and now it is in default & they are not releasing any type of funds until that is in “good standing” & i cannot afford to pay for such a loan at this time. There are other issues as well but this is the....fourth(?) semester that i was supposed to start attending classes & yet another smack in the face prevented me from attending so, the fucking thing is a lost cause, as far as i'm concerned.
Anyway, I am chilling here listening to Black Metal & watching a YT video on occassion & sorta thinking abt where i am going next w/ my future which does abso-fucking-lutely nothing good for my psyche cause all it does is cause anxiety & make me feel like a total god damn loser. I am not meaning for this to come across as bitching, but my life (as far as direction) is going nowhere. I am 100% happy w/ my life and what i do to pass time & whatnot, but as far as anything remotely “lofty” or “ambitious” simply does not occur in my sphere. Fuck it. That's how it is.
all squared-away
i got any and all paperwork that needed to be obtained...obtained for tax day & i am stocked-the-fuck-up on foodskee and making sweet potato waffle fries rn & have a week full of appts next week. nothing really going on this weekend. other than jumping for joy w/ the fact that i am over whatever illness i had. could've been influenza, maybe a vicious cold, idk. idgaf as long as i feel better.
started a new twitter & changed the log-in to the old acct so i will never be able to remember the password & also have no acct recovery info on there (e-mail, phone number), so, that acct is dead. The acct i do have is a nice little one i set up some time ago & it will be what i use from here on out. it was nice taking a 4-5 day hiatus from the social network when i was sick, but i was sick during that time, so, not so nice :/
anyway, be back in a bit!
ugh
i feel “OK”, or better than a felt before. i think i am finally over the “bad” parts of the cold & now i am just coughing every-so-often bc the weather is shitty. as of now, i am trying to make plans to go to the silver shop off Watson to sell some of my precious metals & then buy groceries after that. i am not sure if i am going to do it tomorrow or Thursday, so we will see.
today i am going to stay inside & drink coffee. all i can do. too cold for anything else. :/
food: ACHIEVED!
stomach: FULL!
tobaccos: BOUGHT!
me: HAPPY!
i am feeling a lot better. i am still sick w/ this cold or influenza or whateverthefuck, but at least i am not starving.
i worked on a little project earlier & may do some work on it later but the next “BIG” step is getting the URL bc the Mailerlite subscription depends on having a legit website before they “verify” you & i cannot link a carrd.co acct and be expected to be taken seriously. But, in due time.
suffice it to say: i am starting a newsletter. more details are coming out soon, but, i will get back to that.
also, i will be back in a bit!
i have a project
a little something-something i am working on that i am going to work on more in the coming weeks/months. gonna be fucking cool. looking forward to it. :D
also, the momskee is gonna drop off some foodskee in a little bit here & i will be able to FINALLY nourish myself properly instead of eating bullshit, nothing grains like i have been for six days. Thank Fuck,
anyway, be back in a bit!
Food: coming soon
Thank Fuck
So fucking hungry for good, real, nourishing food
Gonna be dropped at the door bc my mom can't have contact bc she could possibly get my dad sick which would be really bad. She is going to pick up some stuff I emailed her and drop it at my door bc she is awesome.
I will sell silver on Wed and pay her back + buy more food for myself on Wed as well.
I hate being sick. Sick with a cold or flu or whatever and I am sick of being sick of gross food. Literally been eating the same thing for a week. Not gonna let that happen again.
Feeling happier than I was this morning (well earlier in the morning).
Be back in a bit.