Midnight Heartache

Pacing on these corners, my bedroom wall saw the disaster

I was okay hours ago,

Midnight heartache, I have to sow

right now.

Being sane is a couples miles away

Though I had to crawl, I was doing great,

but the midnight breeze left a different taste tonight.

I could see the flowers blooming

All the boats they started rowing

The golden sun that fell is now rising too

But the blues still left on my horizon

Heartbreak, in this prison

I contemplate all my decisions,

don’t want to feel the same tomorrow I felt today

I spent all my busy evening,

watching the plain old ceiling

Playing out the things I want to forget

I spent so many sleepless nights

Gathering all my will to fight,

thinking when will I ever do something right?

I could see the lively flowers wilting

All the boats they are returning

The golden sun is now setting too

But the blues stained my horizons

Midnight heartbreak, whats the reason?

Why must this cycle be the one I endure?

They say a cycle’s always ending,

I’m still stuck in this evening

I can’t keep grace nor leave,

why must I be the one to receive this?

Will my hours move to tomorrow?

Midnight heartache, filled with sorrow

Maybe someday,

the boat, I can row

the daisy fields and daffodils, I can grow

Being in a pain’s a couple miles to take

I was doing good, I was doing great.

Midnight heartache,

Will it be a different trail by midday’s time?

This is something that I wrote back when I was in one of my lowest times. It is intended to be a song, that has a refreshing melody, one that resembles a morning sky. I want it to sound hopeful. I saw the world as something so beautiful, everything just seemed like it was falling into places. Everybody seemed like they knew where to belong. All those times, I felt so stagnant, I was only filled by my depression. I was hopeful, but hoping also got too tiring. These are the words I wished I could’ve expressed to someone, I wanted someone to know I was suffering, but I always had fear that they would reject me for it again. It felt like I was just in a tower, watching everyone enjoy their lives, while I was stuck in my own head replaying the moments I do not desire to remember. This song, despite its simple lyrics, holds one of my darkest journeys.