Peace Labor May

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Everything changes, constantly, continuously, nothing is ever the same. For much of my life I longed to be solid, constant, a monument to virtues, to intellect, to sameness. I denied my fluidity, and therefore, humanity. Somewhere deep within, I yearned to be a robot, predictable, every step calculated. I wished to understand, to decipher the mystery of life, to reach conclusion, solid ground, utmost meaning of things.

I failed to see that this rigidity has grown out of fear, some of which I can explain, get to the roots of, and some – can't. I longed so to be good. To win the game of life, the game where rules are perceivable, intelligible, tangible almost. At that stage of my journey, I was frozen, not only by fear, but by prejudice. I had to follow the path of the “good”, and it must have been clear, must have been fathomable by my human mind alone.

As I suffocated myself in the corsets of ever-emerging rules, I have grown so stiff, so immobile, that the slightest touch of the unpredictable, the unknown, the soft and human, had me shiver in the agony of both bitterness and fury. What silly nonsense is soft, and spontaneous, and unapologetic for its existence?! I had to crush it. I had to will it out of existence. I had to desire hard enough so it disappears, utterly disintegrates, vanishes, for it failed to comply with my rules, my wholesome view of the world, my perfect universe. And as I silently screamed all of the undesirable “isms” out of existence, I slowly started disintegrating myself. I felt like a sandcastle, washed away slowly by the incoming waves. My rigid sand particles, solid and sturdy, gave in to the unpredictable movements of the water.

I was so afraid to swim. I was terrified into devastation. How, how can one float, how can one give in, and just “be”? This is imperceivable nonsense! You cannot just be! You have to build, to fight, to clench, to suffer, to drip blood of your human self-sacrifice onto the altar of perfection, the slate of the unmerciful Virtue; you must carve yourself anew, and emerge, a stone monolith, of goodness, and peace, and all human passions overrun, dead!

As I denied my watery descend into the vast ocean of the unknown, of human, I clasped at my sand and shrieked to be left alone. My descend was not graceful. As I shakingly clinged to my obsessive desire to control and stifle, I happened, in my frenzy, to look upon the reflection of my countenance in the water. A bewildered, utterly lost, devastated with grief, contorted in agony, face stared at me, and the delusion in the frightfully bright eyes has struck me, and from the deepest cave of my subconscious, where I buried my humanity, something stirred...

And now I float on the water of humanity on my raft made of the shuttered delusions of childhood trauma, neurodivergent sensitivity and hope for rescue. I float, my body taut with anxieties of the past, afraid to let go of the rules (leave me at least a few!..), still dizzy from the frenzy of disattachment from the shore. But as I float further and further away from that shore, I see the shapes of it dissolve, as a mirage of my pretend safety and predictability dissipates, and the emptiness of the ever-lasting ocean surrounding me enclasps me. And as I stare fretfully at the smooth expanse of the primordial ocean, as I search, in vain, for solidity of safe shores, I glimpse, occasionally at the surface of the water beneath. And what catches my eye, and holds my bedraggled brain's attention more and more are the glimmers, the reflections, the shapes that emerge and disappear before you know it. And in these shapes, more and more often, I begin to notice, the ones resembling my own.

How to Mutual aid when you are: a marginalized, underpaid, overworked, underprivileged, sorry little thing?

How to start and organize for mutual aid efforts if you are: -introverted; -suffer from anxiety; -lack resources; -are chronically ill; -strapped for time; -feel incompetent (imposter syndrome); -feel like you have nothing of value to offer; -neurodivergent.

Many of us feel helpless when it comes to mutual aid. We may feel small and insignificant. What is it we can do to help? We are too useless/weak/young/old/meek/insert any other limitation, existing or imposed, to be of much help to others.

I have been stuck in the place of feeling like I’ll never be of any meaningful aid to anyone ever for so long, it has expired and rotted and decomposed, so now I am using it to compost my efforts to dig myself out of this grave of helplessness.

First, shut down the narrative of yourself being weak and incompetent. Just shut it. You are not weak. You may be struggling. You may be struggling with many things at once. You may be suffering. In pain. Your struggles and your pain are valid. They are not imaginary. They are not in your head. BUT. They do not make you weak, or pathetic, or useless, or in any way or form «bad». Erase «bad» from your vocabulary. Forget it. This is what is truly useless – this little word, «bad».

Second, the usual, the drill: start small. So small that it might feel incredibly insignificant at first. Painfully petite acts. Observe the world around you, your community. Does anything in particular catch your eye? What are you drawn to? Plants, animals? People of what age scare you the least? Can you begin by possibly talking to a neighbor about their little garden? Maybe, about their dog? Do you feel like you might do well in pet care, or helping the elderly, or children? Do not offer anything at first. Observe. Learn about your surroundings. Then, as you become a bit more comfortable, see if there is a need for any small acts of kindness. Maybe, the elderly neighbor needs a bit of help with their groceries – carrying them upstairs, if you live in an apartment complex. Maybe, there is an unruly puppy who needs more playtime, and the neighborhood kids are not handling it so well. Maybe, the local small grocer needs more glass jars for home-made pickles, and you have a few lying around the house. If you find an area where you feel like you may try, again, do not make a huge commitment out of it. Do not tell yourself how many times a week you’ll help and for how long. If any of your attempts and/or suggestions are declined, do not see it as a failure. You tried. You'll try again later. You'll find something.

If you are completely turned off by the idea of talking to others, or are in too much pain to offer help outside your dwelling, there are still opportunities for you to help. Do not discard online support! You can be of great benefit to those who may be spending time online due to circumstances beyond their control.

Seek out online communities where you perhaps can lend an ear. You do not have to solve anyone's problems online. You do not have to become immersed in other people's complicated lives. But you may listen and offer words of comfort. You may relate your own stories, when appropriate. Do not underestimate the power of kindness and compassion! But beware of becoming entangled in other people's struggles, and always respect their boundaries, and establish your own.

If the aforementioned ways to offer assistance to others do not seem to correspond with your predispositions, you can still bring something of value to others. Perhaps, you have a hobby, or a talent that you may not be engaging often? You may see if you can combine your hobby with a possible perk to the members of the community. Maybe, you can knit little gifts not only to the loved ones, but to be given to strangers – maybe, there is a homeless person you see occasionally who wouldn't mind a scarf, or a pair of mittens. Maybe, you sing, and you can record your songs and share these recordings online, for free. Maybe, you write – and then you can join me and scribble incessant ramblings to share with others, and maybe, one person will read it and smile.

There is no task that is too small for you to consider. My dear comrade, you can help, and together we can spin a web of safety around us, gently, at first, modest in our attempts. But with time and with the liberation of our minds, we will implement much bigger changes for the betterment of ourselves, fellow humans, other dwellers of our world, and the world itself.

Are you blank? Are you a blank?

Who wrote on you?

Who will?

Do you have a pen?

Or a permanent marker?

Does your page become see-through

when it takes in water?

Who is your author?

Are you an author?

Who is the audience

lurking in the dark?

Where is the beginning, middle, and ending

of the play of your life

unwritten in the stars?

Do you long for bookmarks?

Or do you miss erasers?

Do you wish sadly

for fire on your margins?

Who is the holder of your page,

On your cover

who glares?

Do you stand among us

Forgotten, dusty lore?

Crinkling of the fragile pages

I hear in the dusk hours.

By my candle flickering

I hold you, and the yellow

of your pages touches mine.

I will not forget you

As long as alive

is human mind

Will live the page

Of your core

Will live the saga

Of our lore.

I am The jester If the old Dusty unfunny Folia. I retell Resing The lore Of the gone. I regurgitate The sad Unironic Unuplifting Truths In the manner Most light-hearted. I spew The nonsense Of the burden Of the past. The present Is my nemesis. I cry my eyes out To make them Crystal clear For mornings To recite Somebody else's Dream. I cave Under the pressures Of the caged birds To lift The feathers Of the hair Of the children of the future. My reader You remember I am just an old soul Who dances To make you Smile At the depths Of our Despair.

A poem written in October of 2020.

I need time to heal

Instead, I crawl out
into the sun, I shakingly raise my offerings to the living. I bleed energy I cry life Out of my core Out of my heart. I speak when I'm mute. I give what has been taken from me. My children the broken leaves Sing praise in the voice of agony.

If...

A poem from many years ago. Reflection on art and talent.

If I could paint I'd paint the brightest, Most vibrant Misery you've ever seen The highest pits Of my despair The gloomiest of hope And the most radiant Of pain. I'd soak the canvas With the waters of False covenant And with the blood Of womb of mine I shall spray-paint The most soothing Sunset sky. I'll rip your hopeful soul out With my trembling shades Out of your nose shall drip Your precious confidence Away. My masterpieces would destroy The comfort, the routine Whatever makes your day. Discordantly shall canvases of mine Boom in the silent halls of the sublime. I every heresy shall throw Beneath my paint And every deviance will decorate The calmness of my frame. Alas, The trembling hand is Rightfully mundane The talentless of gifted Mind is here to stay. Shall never see you Highness of my oils And watercolors of my empty soul Will fade away.

The Agreeable Woman

The plague of agreeableness has haunted me for years. I used to think that agreeableness was equal to conventional femininity – outward signs of obedience: lowered eyes, neatly brushed hair, modest disposition. I had a very picturesque, but a very limited, Handmaid’s Tale-like perception of agreeableness. Once a trusted colleague and a good friend of mine mentioned, in passing, that I am very agreeable, and I was struck with disbelief at first; had to examine the evidence; and was appalled to discover that he was, indeed, right. I had a “natural” inclination to smooth out the rougher edges of day-to-day conversations; I had used words such as “just” and “only” every second sentence; I was so used to playing devil’s advocate, it became the norm for me to excuse most of the unacceptable occurrences I would learn about; to the public eye, my opinions were conventional, traditional, comfortable. Even though it took immense efforts for me to contain my opinionated tongue, and I raged and seethed, unseen, scream-crying every few days to let out the tension of unspoken words and built-up emotions. I was hurting myself behind closed doors, calling myself all kinds of derogatory words, for being a doormat on one hand, and on the other, for being an aggressive b*tch. I hurt myself through repressing my true thoughts and emotions, through continuously justifying why others must be right, and I must be in the wrong; I abused myself so badly, that slowly, but surely, my innate pain began to affect others – the people closest to me...

The way I expressed myself in other aspects of my life have always been considered “divergent”, I've been reprimanded often in my youth for “sticking out” with my bold looks and unusual choices. Only growing older I have realized that my teenage rebellion had been a cry for help: my soul's desire for true connection had to be deciphered by a select few, who, unburdened by prejudice would dare to talk to “the outsider”. It was a way to hide, and yet to send out vibrations to those who also, like me, suffered in silence, not understanding their own needs and desires, too scared to honestly ask for a frank conversation. So many go through this in their youth; and it's peculiar how much of this is forgotten and/or neglected as we grow older; as if we try to forget the pain of initiation as quickly as possible, resenting our past selves, seeing them as weak and pathetic; even though it is thanks to them that we survived.

Where am I going with this? Well, the combination of unjust upbringing of girls, harmful stereotyping of “normative” behaviors, indoctrination of the “right” emotive responses: all of this leads, in many cases, to internalization of the notion of sameness, of youth thinking that they are somehow to blame for “being different” (whispers: special snowflakes), and either embrace it as a badge of honor (which, ultimately still brings harm to many), or reject their true “wrong and unfitting” self and swap it to a fake exterior in order to be accepted and to belong. Obviously, this is a simplified view of the harm that can occur due to negligent parenting and socialization.

Everyone goes through this, and harm is done to men and women alike. I am focusing this discussion on women, however; mainly due to the reason that I am a woman myself, and speaking from experience allows me to investigate the empirical source with much scrutiny; but also, because the harm done to women is so glaringly grim, that the “not all men” crowd can shut it and go elsewhere to vent their frustrations.

“Female agreeableness” sounds so infuriating eye-roll-inducing conservatist, that I have given myself a headache on a few occasions trying to say it out loud. However, it is not just trendy discourse on the Internet. It is the reality for many of us women. And for many of us it begins early. “Good girls sit still”, “Look at her lady-like manners!”, “Look at you, a little princess!”, silent but unanimous approval of a quiet and meek girl; harsher punishment for little childish misdemeanors: “But you are a girl! If you were a boy, I'd understand!..” And as we grow older we see all kinds of virtue-signaling nonsense of a “different girl”; you can pick your stereotype: goth/emo/punk/dark girl; nerd/geek/next door/one-of-the guys girl; artsy/other-worldly/manic pixie girl; the combinations are endless; the media keeps feeding this garbage to the youth generation after generation; and yet “the strong” female role models are still few and far between.

And this is not a “natural order” of any sorts. What is natural to a human? To survive? To consume and produce waste? To seek out safety? To desire to bond with others of its kind? What kind of “human nature” one is talking about when appealing to nature fallacy in this case? To the fact that women menstruate and give birth? How does this apply to the “natural” tendencies for women to cook, clean, be patient, be stupid, be willing to listen to unstoppable nonsense, knit, ballet dance, wear lipstick, love drama, find delight in flowers, want to be a nurse, wear high heels, prefer to be led, be indecisive, modest, kind, compassionate, beautiful?... HOW? It does not follow. It does not compute. No logic comes from the vast majority of the presupposed “female” traits and activities. Yes, women and men are different. Yes, men tend to be physically stronger. Yes, the endocrine systems function differently. However...

There is no human nature! We have been shaping ourselves for thousands of years – yes, much of it was out of necessity, but what necessitates prejudice in the modern world? What makes women more “naturally inclined” to sit still? What makes women “the care-givers”? What makes women “good cooks”? Maybe, it's years and years and years of indoctrination and upbringing, or maybe she was just born this way! Ironically, most of the men I have encountered in my life, have been meek and modest, liking to cook and preferring to sit still and read or watch movies. And quite a few of my female acquaintances have been adventuring, daring, stern, assertive and preferred their witchcraft to embroidery. Anecdotal, I know! But how peculiar, how grotesque – people are ACTUALLY a diverse species, and sex has little to no bearing on one's preferences and inclinations!

But the hormones!.. We are wired differently! See how complex are the relationships between all the intricate patterns of the female cycle – she is bound to act, to feel, to see the world a certain way! And I agree. The hormones, the neurotransmitters, the little sparks of neurons signaling to each other – how astounding to see our complex human behavior explained through the firing of fairy lights in the neuroscience 101 videos! The male cycle is not talked about as much in popular culture, however. Why not? Why is the female cycle, so inherently tied to reproduction, has become the norm to discuss openly and even make fun of; and yet a male equivalent is all hush-hush? Maybe, we do not yet understand the complexity of the human organism enough to conclude that pink must be the color of preference to any female? Or, maybe, social sciences have studied human behavior for long enough to hypothesize that upbringing and environment may have something to do with it? You know, with the way we treat each other and assign meaning to random objects surrounding us, and oversimplify and overgeneralize, and like to put everything into neat little boxes to make the vast, scary world small and easy to digest?..

Maybe, it's another excuse to belittle women, to make them appear inferior, to justify the desire to boss them around, since they are so “unreasonable”? We may believe all of this is left far behind in the past; but modern social norms would beg to differ. Yes, we are leaps and bounds ahead in many areas affecting gender, but still too far behind to claim the problem is solved, the gender norms are abolished, the agreeable woman is free at last!..

What if I told you that seeing through all the gender nonsense is possible? What if I told you that “the agreeable woman” is just another patriarchal myth, aimed at undermining women from partaking fully in the decision-making process that determines not only their destiny, but the fate of humankind?

You'll most likely agree. Not because you are agreeable, but because you have reason. Because you have seen enough of life to chuckle at the silly gender stereotypes.

Problem solved, conversation over, we all agree, it's all good! But wait!.. This little girl has something else to say! Okay, okay, we can stay a little longer, child…

The little girl in me wants to relate to you a story of internalized hate, a story of an unconscious mind that is not aware of all the little toxic pathways that might have been created in the early childhood years. She wants you to realize that, even though you may rationally and consciously oppose gender-normative behaviors, you still may be a victim of internal conflict between your intellectual capacity to understand innate intricacy of the human species, and your emotional need for comforting and reassuring simplistic tales of how we choose flowers because we are girls.

And this little girl's request to you is to never, never, abandon dialectical materialism (Marx will not forgive). And on a serious note (that was true, though), the key to understanding the problem of agreeableness is to go back to the good old Freud (and his students!), and look at the good old psychoanalysis, and yes, yes, he was this and he was that, but taking into account some basic premises of the psycho-dynamic approach, and look into the childhood, and look into the influence of the outside world – the ads, the buzzwords, the trends, the kitchy new things – and see how we cannot separate the struggle for the female empowerment from class struggle; see how the “malleable” woman and “effeminate” man suit the modern day capitalist agenda; see how the environment WILL shape the children whether we accept this or not; see how the only way to solve the internal conflict of any woman (or any man) is to accept the calling of continuous human development, the full realization of the human potential, that is only possible in conditions where we all strive for freedom, and justice, and intellectual fulfilment, and communism!

Is aggressiveness inherent to humans?

Nowadays we may feel like people are becoming more and more aggressive and hostile. We see violent acts performed seemingly out of nowhere; we hear terrifying stories of unthinkable acts; the honking of the angry cars wake us up in the middle of the night; a neighbor beats the wall in blind outrage over a loss in an online game.

We notice our loved ones growing impatient; coworkers having shorter tempers; children being unnecessarily cruel to each other.

We may wonder if we, humans, are inherently programmed for violence, be it blind rage, or cold-hearted malice. I have given the Machiavellian view a fair enough hearing; and was personally not at all convinced in its plausibility bearing in mind its adherence to cold, calculating cruelty and self-serving manipulation. I have seen too much altruism in my life, even though I have not been placed in the circumstances deemed by the Western world as safe and stimulating. Nonetheless, so much kindness has been displayed to me, that even after doubting and fearing human nature for most of my childhood and adolescence, I was shown that viciousness and rage were conditioned, and NOT predisposed.

Reading Erich Fromm’s The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness has given me an immensely helpful view on aggression. On one hand, the pseudo-Darwinist, instinctivist view insists on the importance of aggression’s role in evolution, the inheritance of aggressive energy, the supposed “need” for species to fight and compete; on the other, all of the animal studies that point to lack of evidence of true “ferocity” of animals, instead uncovering how captivity breeds antagonism; and how when observed in their natural habitat, most animals lead what humans may perceive as a “peaceful” communal lifestyle. For example, “All the chimpanzees I observed were cautious, hesitant creatures. This is one of the major impressions one carries away from studying chimpanzees at close range in the wild. Behind their lively, searching eyes one senses a doubting, contemplative' personality, always trying to make sense out of a puzzling world. It is as if the certainty of instinct has been replaced in chimpanzees by the uncertainty of intellect-but without the determination and decisiveness that characterize man. (A. Kortlandt, 1962.)” (Fromm 111). Or, “On gorillas observed in the wild, G. B. Schaller reports that on the whole “interaction” between groups was peaceful. Aggressive bluff charges were made by one male as noted above, and “I once observed weak aggressiveness in the form of incipient charges towards intruders from another group by a female, a juvenile and an infant. Most intergroup aggressiveness was confined to staring and snapping.” Serious aggressive attacks among gorillas were not witnessed by Schaller. This is all the more remarkable because the gorilla group home ranges not only overlapped, but seem to have been commonly shared amongst the gorilla population. Hence there would be ample occasion for friction. (G. B. Schaller, 1963, 1965.)” (Fromm 113).

Prof. Fromm gives us many more illustrative examples of animal interaction; most of which point to a thesis: “And further on Scott states: Under natural conditions hostility and aggression in the sense of destructive and maladaptive (italics added) agonistic behavior are hard to find in animal societies” (Fromm 119).

This is not to say, that defensive aggressiveness is not an observable phenomenon, because it absolutely is. The distinction between protecting one's vital interests and intentional (or even unconscious) drive to harm another is so glaringly apparent, that one has to be deep in the throes of denial to object to it.

We see more fascinating conclusions supported by data in observable animal life in Pyotr Kropotkin’s Mutual Aid as a Factor of Evolution: “While he (Darwin) himself was chiefly using the term (struggle for existence) in its narrow sense for his own special purpose, he warned his followers against committing the error (which he seems once to have committed himself) of overrating its narrow meaning. In The Descent of Man he gave some powerful pages to illustrate its proper, wide sense. He pointed out how, in numberless animal societies, the struggle between separate individuals for the means of existence disappears, how struggle is replaced by co-operation, and how that substitution results in the development of intellectual and moral faculties which secure to the species the best conditions for survival. He intimated that in such cases the fittest are not the physically strongest, nor the cunningest, but those who learn to combine so as mutually to support each other, strong and weak alike, for the welfare of the community. “Those communities,” he wrote, “which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring” (2nd edit., p. 163). The term, which originated from the narrow Malthusian conception of competition between each and all, thus lost its narrowness in the mind of one who knew Nature…

Kropotkin, just as Fromm, has employed the works of many of his predecessors and contemporaries; neither Kropotkin’s, nor can Fromm’s work be viewed as isolationist and individualistic.

“Professor Kessler concluded as follows: —

I obviously do not deny the struggle for existence, but I maintain that the progressive development of the animal kingdom, and especially of mankind, is favoured much more by mutual support than by mutual struggle.... All organic beings have two essential needs: that of nutrition, and that of propagating the species. The former brings them to a struggle and to mutual extermination, while the needs of maintaining the species bring them to approach one another and to support one another. But I am inclined to think that in the evolution of the organic world — in the progressive modification of organic beings — mutual support among individuals plays a much more important part than their mutual struggle.” (Kropotkin).

I have found immense reassurance in these kind comrades extensive research, and have realized that the belief in the “survival of the fittest” is a convenient invention, according to Fromm: “…the instinctivist movement based on Darwin's teaching reflects the basic assumption of nineteenth-century capitalism. Capitalism as a system in which harmony is created by ruthless competition between all individuals would appear to be a natural order if one could prove that the most complex and remarkable phenomenon, man, is a product of the ruthless competition among all living beings since the emergence of life. The development of life from monocellular organisms to man would seem to be the most splendid example of free enterprise, in which the best win through competition and those who are not fit to survive in the progressing economic system are eliminated” (Fromm 74).

Isn’t it peculiar how one may assign meaning to randomness of evolution? Genetic programming, “the application of the principles of Darwinian evolution to the construction of algorithms, programs and various objects of the real world, which engineers can also develop” (Nikitin, Mikhail A Blind Watchmaker vs. Intelligent Design: A Short Course of an Evolution Denier), shows how when an AI is given circumstances to “create freely” so to speak, the results are astoundingly similar to what we get in accordance with our knowledge of evolutionary biology, in terms of randomness and surprising inconsistency. When Adrian Thompson worked on the Evolutionary Gate Matrix Programming project, and created microcircuits, consisting of many identical blocks that could be connected in different order, “…these strange illogical connections [were created]; the use of interference and induction to perform the target function – this is exactly what biologists who study gene regulatory networks face…” (Nikitin).

I have come across a simple metaphor of evolution as if “throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks”, and found it to be surprisingly helpful in realizing that there is no set purpose, necessary rhyme or reason to the adaptations. This realization can be a symbolic first step in a journey of conscious learning and awareness. The notion of aggression being a “necessary evil”, an evolutionary advantage, has set generations of people to fail to see the complexity of interaction among species; for example, excluding knowledge of mutualism and commensalism when discussing species' life.

Fromm continues to combine his knowledge of Marxist economic theory with empirical evidence gained from years of his own clinical collaborative work, and gives us yet another brilliant analysis of how modern day false equation of “survival of the fittest” to actual knowledge on evolution lead to propaganda of erroneous and harmful notions:

“Nineteenth-century capitalism was one of fierce competition among capitalists which led to the elimination of the weaker and less efficient among them. In twentieth-century capitalism the element of competition has to some extent given way to cooperation among the big enterprises. Hence the proof that fierce competition corresponded to a law of nature was no longer needed. Another important point of difference lies in the change of the method of control. In nineteenth-century capitalism control was largely based on the exercise of strict patriarchal principles, morally supported by the authority of God and king. Cybernetic capitalism, with its gigantic centralized enterprises and its capacity to provide the workers with amusements and bread, is able to maintain control by psychological manipulation and human engineering. It needs a man who is very malleable and easily influenced, rather than one whose “instincts” are controlled by fear of authority. Finally, contemporary industrial society has a different vision of the aim of life than that of the last century. At that time the ideal at least for the middle classes – was independence, private initiative, to be “the captain of my ship.” The contemporary vision, however, is that of unlimited consumption and unlimited control over nature.” (Fromm 74).

Isn’t it astounding how the economic powers that be influence the perception of science, the seemingly objective force of gaining insight from the observable world? When it was convenient, the belief of the ruthless, highly competitive, “all or nothing”, “the ends justify the means” individual was perpetuated. When it lost its usefulness, the thesis, the forced “universal truth” was swapped, in the manner most nonchalant, to yet another half-truth: the individualist entrepreneur, “hustling” the right way, will achieve the dream of independent freedom!

Yet many still cling to the “naturalistic” arguments, ignoring the glaring reality of how economic production dictates not only our lifestyles, but interferes with our perception of the material world.

Marx has much to say considering this: “In the social production of their existence, men inevitably enter into definite relations, which are independent of their will, namely relations of production appropriate to a given stage in the development of their material forces of production. The totality of these relations of production constitutes the economic structure of society, the real foundation, on which arises a legal and political superstructure and to which correspond definite forms of social consciousness. The mode of production of material life conditions the general process of social, political and intellectual life. It is not the consciousness of men that determines their existence, but their social existence that determines their consciousness” (Marx, A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy).

Doesn’t it follow, that we are shaped by our surroundings; that our very “nature” is conditional; that what is “natural” to us is but an illusion, accidental more often than not, even though sometimes purposefully insidious?

“We know little as yet about the direct influence of the environment on the development of the brain. Fortunately we know a great deal more about the role of social factors on the development of character (although all affective processes have, of course, a substrate in brain processes). It would seem that at this point we have joined the main stream of thought in the social sciences-the thesis that man's character is formed by the society in which he lives, or, in behavioristic terms, by the social conditioning to which he is exposed. However, there is a fundamental difference between this view and the one proposed here. The environmentalist view of the social sciences is essentially relativistic; according to it, man is a blank sheet of paper on which the culture writes its text. He is molded by his society for better or worse, “better” or “worse” being considered value judgments from an ethical or religious standpoint. The position taken here assumes that man has an immanent goal, that man's biological constitution is the source of norms for living. He has the possibility for full development and growth, provided the external conditions that are given are conducive to this aim. This means that there are specific environmental conditions conducive to the optimal growth of man and, if our previous assumptions are correct, to the development of the life-furthering syndrome. On the other hand, to the extent these conditions are lacking, he will become a crippled, stunted man, characterized by the presence of the life thwarting syndrome” (Fromm 260-261).

Why do we even want to continue engaging into the “nature vs nurture” debate? Isn’t it more helpful to focus on what we can influence, can change; which is always, always going to be the “nurture” part? We cannot precipitate our nature into the desired directions, at least not ethically at the moment; but we can and we must change our conditions, shape them thus that no blind chance decides upon the lives and deaths of fellow humans.

We can create safe conditions in which solidarity, not competitiveness thrives. We can provide basics for all so that no one is afraid of destitution; thus, few would be hoarding in the face of impending scarcity. We can teach our children camaraderie, not xenophobia; show them that diversity is neither a hindrance, nor an advantage; and all can share in the common joy together. We can slowly, but surely eliminate the underlying causes of aggression and hostility: by providing people with sensible work conditions; plenty of leisure time; assurance that their inherent value would not be ripped away from them when an unmerciful disaster finds them, leaving them dependent on the fellow loving providers. We can build together such safety nets, that no vice will overcome the warm embrace of communal care.

And if you say I am but another pathetic idealist, I say in return, that empirical evidence speaks louder than my words. Moreover, introspection on the human psyche, provided by many dear comrades, such as already mentioned Fromm, alongside with many others, gives us a glimpse at the human potential; studies of economic prosperity of communities who have chosen people over profit; all of this is enough for me to say: if you have it left in you, comrade, join forces with us, and together, let’s build, out of the ruins of dreams of individual achievement, fame and riches, a true bridge between our human potential and the world of tomorrow!

Just world hypothesis:

the idea that the world is a fair and orderly place where what happens to people generally is what they deserve. In other words, bad things happen to bad people, and good things happen to good people. This view enables an individual to confront his or her physical and social environments as though they were stable and predictable but may, for example, result in the belief that the innocent victim of an accident or attack must somehow be responsible for or deserve it. Also called belief in a just world; just-world bias; just-world phenomenon. [postulated by Canadian psychologist Melvin J. Lerner (1929) (American Psychological Association).

So many of us have internalized this belief in the “just world” that we lose sight of objective circumstances. Fundamental attribution error may also worsen the effect of the just world hypothesis – if one attributes one's luck to their achievements, and others' bad luck to their character, a vicious cycle is created; where one might feel like a victim of austere fate, yet others are always responsible for their own misfortune.

Many religions perpetuate or even create the cycle of false cause and effect relationships, where “bad deeds” are avenged by the omnipresent powers; and “good ones” also are equally rewarded. We often present children with the simplistic dichotomy of good and evil to spare them yet the complexity of the world; and somehow, over the course of history, we’ve forgotten to teach the older ones to examine the world through a different lens; thus leaving the erroneous view to guide them into adulthood.

It is understandable who we may be clinging to such beliefs as adults. It feels safe, reassuring, it reduces the horror of existential dread, the unknown, the unfathomable. It “feels” right, intuitive, almost; even though, analysis shows that one’s sense of “right” is conditioned by many social factors: upbringing, the state of collective unconscious of this individual’s particular community; circumstantial evidence, such as coincidences; and many more factors may be at work to support such notions and make them a given in particular sectors of society.

Much harm can be done due to this seemingly innocuous conviction. Victim blaming is the most apparent consequence of the just world hypothesis. Many chronically ill will relate to you a story of not only physical misery, but yet even a more forlorn tale of internal struggle against shame and guilt – what have they done to deserve it? Could have they done anything to prevent their condition? What if they are making it worse unknowingly? Assuming full responsibility of an illness is not only unhelpful, it is pure absurdity – many factors have to align in order for one to begin suffering from an ailment, especially, a chronic one: genetic predisposition, environmental conditions, luck (or lack thereof), and many more. Feeling ashamed of one’s health condition may indirectly lead to symptoms concealment, patients not seeking out proper medical care, obstruction of accurate diagnoses due to the aforementioned two, and other outcomes connected to the feelings of shame and guilt. Serious complications and even death may be the result of one’s conviction they are somehow to blame for being sick. Blaming one for being sick! The lowliest of blows delivered by the depth of human ignorance.

Another possible and common outcome of the belief in the just world is the perpetuation of the cycle of abuse by blaming the victim of somehow “deserving” the maltreatment. If the abused one is a child – the chances of said child to grow up and become the perpetrator oneself increase tenfold. It may become “natural” for the said individual to speak the language of violence and perceive it as the norm. The belief that if one “turned out just fine” after being subjected to abuse, making it somehow appropriate to carry on the legacy of abusive behavior, is utterly illogical and reminds one of simple revenge. “If I suffered, why shouldn't you?” is, unfortunately, a much more common occurrence than we'd like to admit.

The just world hypothesis may also lead one to the path of self-righteousness and a sense of superiority. Attributing one's luck to one's “hard work” (which is also falling for the fundamental attribution error, as mentioned earlier) may open up a window for a yet another unhealthy perspective – an attitude of arrogance, the infamous Greek vice of hubris; where one considers oneself to do it all by themselves. I did! I deserve the privileges! If they work hard enough, they'll get there, too!

But life is not a fairytale where everyone and everything plays by the rules. That is the secret we are supposed to outgrow at approximately 10, if not earlier. Yet, we cling to the fantasy. Envy encompasses us. Why can they get it, not me? What do I do to achieve it? I must work harder! I must not be wiling hard enough! I must will more, more, more!

And the modern capitalist state thrives off of this mindset. Here, little slave, here is the dream, chase it, see how close it is? Just follow the golden carrot, it is right in front of you, so low, you'll get it, just try a little harder, walk a little faster, want a little stronger!

And we pour our life's energy into the bottomless pit of greed, and march obediently towards the “dream” of justice and freedom. But justice and freedom are not dreams. Justice and freedom are made, forged by us, watered by upbringing, nourished by conditions we create, kept alive by our collective efforts, not “earned”; these are works in progress, never perfectly defined and “completely achieved”. Yet, they are not leering, empty promises of bourgeois philosophizing – you can see them, and feel them, and touch them with your hands and make them your own.

But I digress, and going back to the just world hypothesis and its feeble logic and tangible harm, I want to emphasize that abandoning such beliefs is of an utmost importance to anyone who values not only justice and freedom, but sanity. Letting go of the outdated, never-backed-up by anything, pseudo-naturalistic and pseudo-intuitive tall tales that are only kept alive to bring in more profit to the cult of greed is one of the keys to opening one's mind to the freedom of skeptical materialism of true learning and stepping on the path of building an actual humanistic future.

Meritocracy...

Oh, how this damned concept has enclasped me for years and years and years! Merriam Webster dictionary tells us that meritocracy is “ a system, organization, or society in which people are chosen and moved into positions of success, power, and influence on the basis of their demonstrated abilities and merit”. There are many questions I have looking at this definition. What are these positions of success? What is success, who defines it? How is success connected to power? How are the abilities demonstrated? Who defines merit? And ultimately, who chooses and moves the said merit-adorned people into such positions? Most of my life, I have operated under the assumption that if I “did well”, than I'll “succeed”. In many ways, I have “succeeded”. I have excelled at school, college, workplace. I have been praised and rewarded. The nagging questions, however, have always been at the back of my mind. What is success? Why, even though others tell me I succeeded, I feel like an absolute failure? Why do I set up goals? Why do I feel empty once I reach these goals? Why am I neurotically driven to invent new goals, always higher, faster, louder, more? Why cannot I truly appreciate what everyone else is telling me to appreciate?.. Much of this might have been and is but an unnecessary overindulgent introspection afforded by privilege. But at the core of many of my questions lies a deeply heartfelt desire for truth, resistance to accept the oversimplified view of the vast complex world of human perception. Meritocracy is based on a false equation of luck and privilege to individual achievement. Simply saying, “Well, whoever is best at the job should get it” is so far removed from reality of luck egalitarianism that it comes across as dismissive. There is nothing harmful in acknowledging individual differences. We, people, are so imperceivably diverse that putting tiny neat packages around our identities is futile. However, we share enough of universality to build a culture of consent. What is the difference between the culture of merit and the culture of consent? Merit, by its nature, is far too abstract to be meaningfully examined and applied at a large scale. Yes, there might be academic consensus about what the necessary human traits are to be sought after in a particular field, but I would think that consensus is much more compatible with consent: both are based on fundamental agreement, not complacency. Merit is based on value judgement. What is seen as meritable by me, can arguably be of no value to another. If we begin to discuss our value judgements, we inevitably become entangled in theory, and sooner than later may have to respectfully agree to disagree. Which ultimately is a culture of consent. We cannot announce that such and such has gained whatever it is they have accumulated is given to them due to their high value. The question of who decides upon the value is too incessant. Being the judge of merit is the most ruthless, thankless and, paradoxically, valueless job ever. If one is to decide what is of universal value, than one is set to ruffle someone's feathers. Some may argue that we do employ meritocracy in many of our decisions. Don't we want the best doctors to operate the injured, the best teachers to educate our children? We might want that, we might wish upon stars for this to happen; but what do we do to achieve that? Let a bunch of self-proclaimed specialists rule out who is worthy and who is not? I am not even going to touch upon the inevitable disparity between the underprivileged and marginalized and the so-called powers that be. I am going to pretend that somehow, all of us are judged by merit alone, and we are faced, let's say, with a commission of people who supposedly are where they are due to immense value they have added to our collective human development. And let's also pretend that the said commission is as free from bias and as objective as humanely possible. Now, let's imagine that you and I have achieved, due to talent and hard work, the same levels of prominence in a particular field, and now are vying for this “position of success, power, and influence” that we faced at the beginning of this discussion. So, the aforementioned commission will have to choose one of us based on merit alone. There are so many variables to consider. The process must be excruciatingly tedious. And let's say there is not much identifable, measurable difference between the two of us. What is to be done? Should we be set to fight one another to death? Obviously, I am oversimplifying here. But what is meritocracy if not another justification for ruthless competitiveness of the capitalist world? What is it, if not a primitive attempt to excuse the cut-throat ideology of the pseudo darwinist “survival of the fittest” doctrine? Meritocracy has been proven to be a myth, even in liberal philosophical discourse it has disreputed itself due to its unfailing desire for sameness and meaningless equalisation. However, it is still alive and present in much of our subconscious decision making process. And this is where I have found the culture of consent to be of more help. The questions I ask nowadays are not built around the aforementioned universal values, which I must admit, I am still drawn to. I try to ask myself simply if my decisions are beneficial, and examine closely whether this benefit imposes risk to another. The principle of consent, therefore is of great aid, because if I am not sure, I can simply ask another, to see whether the supposed benefit of my own will in any way or form infringe upon the freedoms of others. And for most of day to day operations, this is enough. And for the bigger issues, for more grandiose plans, I believe there never is a universally right answer. But I assert that basing our decision making process on the presupposed value judgements is far too limiting, and moreover, is far too tangled up in religious morality to be of true merit (haha). Freeing oneself from the preconceived “right” endeavours of achieving defined by who knows who “merit” and value has helped me open myself to a more nuanced understanding of the human world and a more compassionate exchange of ideas with others.