Are you holding space for the people in your life?

I’m not talking about quick texts & likes on each other’s pictures. I’m talking about sacrifice.

Are you sacrificing time out of your life to hold space for the people in your life who desperately need someone?

By the way- that’s everyone.

Now I’m not saying you need to be everyone’s person. That’s not your job. In fact if you tune into your intuition and ask yourself, “who am I supposed to serve today?” you’ll quickly find yourself encountering someone or they will come to your mind.

Some days you may have to seek someone out and others they will stumble into your lap.

Look for the cues.

Have they been through something hard lately? Offer to talk.

Have they been absent in ways they typically aren’t? Reach out.

Are they straight up telling you there’s something wrong? Don’t be self absorbed, inquire more.

And when you do, be quiet.

Listen, like really listen.

Hear what they have to say and do this while knowing that you’re not going to provide them any answers or be responsible for anything other than being there for them.

You don’t have to know what to say, you just have to be.

And then once you’ve done that, continue to hold space for them. Let them know that if they ever need to talk and have a listening ear that you’re there for them. Follow this up by checking in them, continuing to hold space for them even when they’re not in a place to talk and then holding space for them to rejoice when times are good.

I’ve known too many people who only desire to “fix” and so when it comes time to rejoice and just do life with them when there is nothing wrong, they either don’t show up or they’re pressing for more details about the bad things in your life. This can be just as exhausting and it can feel like they’re just there for the drama. Don’t be that person either.

When they’re speaking, don’t interject with your own story. Share when they’re done if it feels appropriate, it’s nice to know you’re not alone. But when your story feels like it’s being hijacked, it doesn’t feel like that person cares, even if they genuinely do.

Go above and beyond to hold space and elevate their voice. If someone is sharing something hard, wait a moment before you share. This can be in person or online. If someone is sharing their story in a blog post, maybe don’t post that day and allow space for their voice to be truly heard. Instead of being rushed through to get onto other posts. If someone posts about their loss or something hard going on in their life, maybe wait a minute before you share your win or your gain. This isn’t because what you’re experiencing isn’t important, but if you can sit from afar and love on someone by not throwing your news in their face, it may mean the world of difference in their healing & grieving process.

Holding space for others means being intentional about what you do and how you do it.

It means putting others before yourself & loving them the way that you’d like to be loved.

It means keeping your eyes and ears open and staying aware of what other people are going through.

It means taking the attention off of yourself and putting it back on someone else.

It means listening to your intuition and loving people fiercely, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Look around, have you been holding space for others?

Have you been living in community with those around you?

If this is something you struggle with I challenge you to start being intentional with just one person a day. Start with a stranger if you have to and just say “Hi, how are you doing?” and then stick around to hear the answer. Just a few minutes of your time and a smile could be the small gesture of kindness that keeps that person alive today.

We were meant to live in community and in a time where the world is trying to isolate us more than ever, we have the chance to fight back and let people know that they are worth it and that they are important.

How can you hold space today?

xoxo- Ry

I am so excited to bring ya'll an amazing third trimester update! It hasn't all been great but there's a lot of amazing news to share. I'm excited to share about how my one hour glucose test went with the fresh test, the results of my latest ultrasound and even show off bub's cute little kicks.

If you or someone you know is about to do their gestational diabetes test I highly recommend looking into the fresh test and watching this video. I share my experience with it and why I chose that specific test.

I hope ya'll enjoy this update, I'm so thankful to have you in my life.

xoxo – Ry

https://cinnamon.video/watch?v=405936352153044352

Over the past few days I've felt this topic bubbling up inside of me. I've known for awhile I wanted to speak on it but it just didn't feel right and the words weren't coming to me. Until now. So buckle up because I've got some truth to share.

We need to be far more aware of the words that come out of our mouths.

We need to be far more aware of the words that come out of our fingertips.

We need to be far more aware of the emotions churning in our hearts and escaping through our actions.

We are harming ourselves with the tangy words we are speaking, the lies we are entertaining and the company we are keeping.

Recently I made the observation that I wasn't speaking to myself very kindly. I also made the observation that I wasn't having very kind thoughts about the people around me and the people I was encountering online. As I started pondering “why” I was doing and feeling these things I started to explore the root. Eventually one day after scrolling on social media and spending time fuming over the things being said in Facebook groups and in comment threads I realized that the root of my thoughts and actions were in where I was spending my time and with whom I was spending it with.

Today I left three Facebook groups that didn't bring me joy. In fact they did more than not bring me joy, they brought me anger and frustration.

Upon reading Matthew 15 today and reading about how what comes from the mouth proceeds from the heart I realized that I needed to be much more aware of what was going into my mind and what my heart was meditating on so that I could control what was coming out of my mouth. These verses also reaffirmed that:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

If I was to truly follow that passage, I needed to get rid of the things that were not producing good fruits and that did not meet the qualifications of Philippians 4:8.

Even if you're not a Christian these same basic principles apply with the laws of manifestation and getting rid of the things that don't serve you. If you don't want to attract negative energy you need to stop rooting yourself in it and protect what comes in and out of your space and your chakras.

Ya'll we must be more conscious of the things we are ingesting and the things we are then turning around and repeating to ourselves and to others.

Americans, I want to speak to you especially. Over the next two months we are going to continue to see what we've already been experiencing escalate to another level. Just as we did four years ago, but even more intense because of the world climate, we're going to see families pitted against one another, people acting out against one another in insensible ways and the media trying to turn us against one another.

But I don't think it has to be this way. I don't think that these next few months need to be miserable.

We can limit what we are intaking, the constant arguing and bashing and tearing apart. We can unfollow and mute the media that is doing nothing but turning us against one another. We can choose to educate ourselves to make a decision and then leave it at that. We can choose to step back and not engage with people who only want to fight in the name of “education”. Choose your battles and realize that not every table has to be sat at. When it comes to election talk & politics you don't have to engage and nobody actually needs to know who you're voting for. Shocking, I know. Polite and factual conversations are good and all and I think that they're great when they can happen but when the majority of conversations aren't going to be conducive, don't participate. Not only are they draining to both you and the other party involved, but they're not going to accomplish what you wish. If you truly want to change someone's mind start by sharing educational links, posts and facts and let them do their own research and decide for themselves. Yelling about it will not get anyone anywhere other than into a deep pit of frustration.

Beyond the example of politics it is important that we surround ourselves in truth and of good things. We need to be conscious of the words that we speak about others and ourselves.

For example, women, if you spend too much time on social media comparing yourself to other women, you're going to start obsessing over your appearance. You're going to start telling yourself in your mind that “if I only did this I'd look like her” and “she's prettier than me” and then that will eventually morph into “I am not pretty”. See how quickly that can evolve simply because of where you were rooting your time? I encourage you to not only be intentional about where you're spending your time but also in catching yourself in the lies and correcting them. If you find yourself thinking those things stop scrolling and repeat truths about yourself to counteract the lies.

“I am beautiful.”

“My worth does not lie in my beauty.”

“My body is strong.”

“My journey is my own.”

“Social media is meant to show the highlights.”

Be intentional about speaking life giving and uplifting words over yourself. Even casual comments can make you believe things about yourself that just aren't true or that aren't healthy. The more you say something, the more you start to believe it. Even if it is rooted out of a truth- twisting it with negative tones and words can cause you to tear yourself down even more.

In the same way be intentional about lifting others up and speaking truth. Quit gossiping, only say something if it is kind and up-lifting. The truth can be ugly but if you're rooted in a healthy place you'll always find something beautiful to say.

Be intentional about the words you speak. Always remember that little ears are listening and little eyes are watching. Children are always paying attention to the ways that we talk about ourselves. Especially on social media where there are thousands of elementary through high school aged kids taking in our comments, the things we are sharing and the things we are liking. Stop fighting with one another and stop making and sharing self deprecating jokes and set the example for how to love yourself and those around you.

Don't spend time in places that aren't life giving. Cut out or cut down on social media if you have to. Turn off the news. Stop spending time with the people who make you question everything and bring you down. Limit your conversations at work and at school to life giving and uplifting topics. Remember that you can be the change and you have the power to walk away from draining conversations or shift the mood by changing the topic.

Shine like the city on a hill and light up your corner of the world with the words you speak over yourself and others.

xoxo – Ry

New relationships, they're full of possibilities.

We enter into them excited for what could be and completely unaware of what will be.

I can't speak for men but for women we often go in with expectations that we don't even realize we have. Dreams and fantasies of all that this person could be and that slowly morphs from could be, to should be, to is. So by the time we start to get to know that person we already have an idea in our heads of who they are and who we want them to be.

It's kind of toxic but I think it's something that we easily and very naturally fall into. We've been programmed by rom-coms, Disney & music to believe that our suitors will act a certain way and want certain things.

We build up expectations that in all reality, no man could ever truly fulfill and we end up heartbroken when things don't go the way we want them to. As women we often leave men feeling inadequate and the really good ones never stop trying to live up to those expectations and eventually one day break because they realize they're never going to be able to meet them. I feel like we often see this result in what we call a “mid-life crisis” when he wakes up one day and realizes that he no longer knows who he is because he has lived his whole life to serve her.

This topic today truly spans from dating to marriage because how you treat someone when you're dating is a huge reflection of how you'll treat them when you're married.

We need to stop falling for the possibility of a person and instead fall for the person themselves.

They're not going to change.

When you're dating someone you are getting to know THEM. You need to fight every urge that you have to put an expectation on them and assume they're going to be a certain way. Anytime a thought comes up in your mind that says “oh that'll change” or “once they know how I feel they'll want to do that to make me happy” or “once I teach them they'll feel otherwise” you need to stop and do some serious thinking. Whether you like it or not, the person you are with is not guaranteed to change. I don't want to say they will never change because as we get older we shift our opinions and views and the time we spend with others does reflect within us, but you can never expect anyone to change, especially on the big things. By the time you're in adulthood you're pretty much firm in politics, faith and family. These things are likely not going to change unless that person makes it clear that they're still learning, exploring and open to the possibility of something different. Regardless, you need to communicate your wants and needs and desires and if they're not lining up at all or there is a major deal breaker that you both can't agree on, you need to most likely walk away. I'm not saying that God can't change someone's heart, I've seen it in my own marriage, but there's things that Dustin and I “settled” on for the sake of our relationship that were really big things. I am in NO way saying that I regret our marriage or think that I should've walked away, I think that God is actually working in both of us on this specific issue, but I am saying that it is rare that it works out that way. If you want kids and your significant other makes it clear that they do not and you think that you're going to change them by seeing how cute you are with your nieces and nephews or the kids you nanny for, you need to think again. And truly, if you love that person, it's not fair for you to ask them to change on something major just to be with you. It's going to cause disdain and separation in your marriage and it's not worth the heartache. Be honest when you're dating and you will go so much farther than if you keep your mouth shut and “hope for the best”.

Intentionally appreciate them.

The fastest way to make someone feel inadequate is if you're constantly tearing them down instead of praising and appreciating them. Not just for when they do something you want them to, but for who they are. Most often your significant other is not going to be the way you want them to be and do all of the things you want them to do. Their existence is not solely to serve you and even in the rare moments that they do everything you want them to, they're still not going to be perfect. Rather than criticize their every move, be intentional about thanking them for the little things they do. If they know they're appreciated for who they are, they're going to be much more likely to want to be intentional about how they love and serve you.

Check in with one another.

As people we are constantly evolving and things that we didn't realize bothered us start to bother us and that can easily turn into a fight that the other person never saw coming, leaving them feeling attacked and like they can never do anything right. Once every few weeks have a set time where you both can share your “grievances”. You don't want this to be an ugly “you did this” and “you did that” session, but rather a time to bring up the things that you are frustrated with and areas you want to work on in your relationship. This gives you both time to settle down and the knowledge that you don't have to blow up in the moment and say things you don't mean. This also will keep you from constantly nitpicking. This is something I personally struggle with because it's easier for me to just say it in the moment as I'm feeling it, but it often comes across as mean and judgmental (because I'm frustrated in the moment) and it leaves Dustin feeling like I see more flaws than I do the good things and the things that he does do. I don't want him to grow to dread every time I open my mouth. Be intentional about how you're spending your words with your S.O. and set a good habit to carry on into marriage because the longer you're together the more things will come up and they will come up more frequently.

Stop saying “never” and “always”.

“You NEVER do this” or “You ALWAYS do that” is the fastest ticket to someone never wanting to do anything for you ever again. When you say these things it makes the other person feel like you don't see all of the things that they do and all of the ways that they do love you. Nobody wants to feel like all of their progress is erased by a few mistakes. If you go to say something to your S.O. slow down, take a breath, choose your words carefully and express what you need to say out of love. Words stick and they will remember and the next time they go to do something nice for you, they're not going to want to do it because they're going to feel like it's not noticed, so it doesn't matter anyways. Instead of saying “never” or “always”, start saying “thank you” for the things they do and treating each moment as its own. You will find that those things that drive you crazy start to not happen as much and if they still do, that's when you can bring it up at that designated time and let them know that you've noticed a habit that you don't appreciate and you'd like to work on it together as a team.

They're not mind readers.

I don't know about men, but women truly do seem to think that men are mind readers. I do it myself when I wish that Dustin would look at me in a certain way at a certain time or that he would come home with my favorite coffee. None of that ever happens, not to say he doesn't do other things, he does, but for some reason we women get fantasies in our heads of how something is going to go and rarely does it turn out that way. That's where communication comes in. You must communicate how you're feeling, when you're feeling it and if it's a really big deal, how you hoped something would go instead. You also need to just flat out tell your S.O. what you want. You can never assume they just know and when they do, be delightfully surprised. For example, if your love languages are gifts and time spent and you really want your significant other to plan a special date other than dinner and a movie, you need to communicate that. If you simply say “I want a date” and their go-to is dinner and a movie, you're most likely going to come home to dinner and a movie. Instead of sitting there disappointed the entire night because you thought they'd “love you enough” to know that you wanted something different, you could've communicated what you wanted in the first place. Instead say “I would love to go on a date with you, but I really want to do something special. It would mean a lot if you planned something fun other than dinner and a movie.” If they ask for suggestions, give them some, otherwise let it go from there and then appreciate them for what they will do and let go of all expectations. On the flip side, be intentional about asking them about their love languages, paying attention to the things they say or act like they want and do those things spontaneously. Setting forth that example of effort usually encourages your S.O. to do the same.

Some of you may be wondering, “is it too late?”.

Maybe you've been dating or married for years and you didn't do these things in the beginning and now you do feel disdain, regret or dread in some of these areas. That's okay. It's not too late to get back on track.

Relationships ebb and flow as we as people ebb and flow. We continue to grow and evolve over time and I believe that things are always capable of being fixed (other than in abusive situations).

If you're feeling lost and like you don't know where to start, I suggest starting by setting the example. It may take awhile for your S.O. to pick up on what you're doing but if you want something to change start doing it yourself. Start humbly serving your S.O. without expecting anything in return. Start openly communicating your heart and when you're hurt. Pay attention to your tone and how often you're lifting them up vs criticizing them. Stop assuming they know what you want and start telling them. Be intentional about your time spent together and put your phone down. Start appreciating them for who they are now instead of who they were “back when”. Don't get caught up in the past but instead focus on the right now and the future of where you're going together. Tell them how you're feeling and how you'd like to refresh your relationship and break some of the bad habits that are wearing down your partnership. It may take them some time to come around but everything truly good is worth fighting for.

Whether you're thinking about jumping into the dating pool, you're in a fresh new relationship, dated forever or you've been married for 20 years, repeat after me:

I am choosing to fall for my person and not the possibility of who I want them to be.

You've got this, until next time, love and be loved.

xoxo – Ry

Being pregnant during a chaotic time in the world brings the constant reminder that you are missing out. I'm not going to lie, it's been hard. As someone who's dreamed of these days for years it has been really hard to accept the experiences that I've lost out on. Birth classes, hospital tours, Dustin being at every appointment, perusing the aisles and registering in person- you get the point.

It's been hard and I've felt a lot of disappointment and I know I haven't even had it as bad as a lot of other women. That being said, I've had to find a lot of alternatives to those things I've listed above. Thankfully, YouTube has had me covered in a lot of those areas.

From teaching me about how to handle my pregnancy to labor and delivery and even postpartum, I've watched a lot of content these past few months. I've watched hours of videos on what products to buy and what products to avoid, creating my registry, packing for the hospital and figuring out everything I need for baby. I've also watched a lot of birth videos and day in the life with a newborn videos so that I could see firsthand experiences. It doesn't make up for being at in-person classes, discussing these things with friends and other moms-to-be and even seeing my doctor regularly, but it's helped ease the burden of not knowing anything a lot.

Although I wish there was more of this kind of content on Cinnamon and I'm making my own and encouraging other women to make it, I do have to highlight YouTube creators right now because that's where the content is.

There are A LOT of mommy vloggers on YouTube, women giving pregnancy-4th trimester advice and it can be really overwhelming. But given that I found out I was pregnant the week quarantine started, I've watched many, many hours of videos and sifted through a lot of them. These are my top favorite creators that actually bring a lot of value, have something unique to say and aren't constantly trying to shove their affiliate links down your throat. A lot of these vloggers also cover other topics but they have very valuable pregnancy, labor and delivery and postpartum content. A few of them even bring you along on their journey of raising their own littles and I've gained so much wisdom just from watching these videos and observing what it's like to have children and the stages that newborns go through in the first year of life.

So for all of the pregnant women out there, whether you're still cooped up at home or just wanting to prepare for baby, here are my top picks!

Jess Hover

Mama of two with a third on the way, I found Jess when I was looking for videos on how to give birth without an epidural. I was immediately attracted to her gentle spirit and kind demeanor. She makes you feel like you're talking to a sister or a dear friend and honestly, she's brought me a lot of comfort when I felt really alone during this pregnancy. Jess is really honest about mental health, especially when it comes to pregnancy and postpartum, the realities of mom life not always being grand and she does a lot of videos on the basics of child-rearing. I really love her because she's honest and even though she doesn't “like being a mom”, she loves her kids and it shows. Her videos always feel very authentic and I appreciate her sharing the struggle of motherhood and the changes your marriage, finances and faith go through when you have children.

Favorite Video:

Natural birth: How to have a baby without an epidural

Milena Ciciotti

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Milena. She's actually from my hometown and attends the church I went to growing up. I love her and her husband. They share amazing faith based content on YouTube and on their podcast about getting married young, young parenthood, and life in general. Her YouTube has a lot of content that's not motherhood related but recently she had her second baby and she's put out a lot of pregnancy and postpartum/infant content. You can also go back a year and a half and find the same content from her first pregnancy with her baby girl. If you want the “influencer” like content without the frills, Milena's channel is where it's at.

Favorite Video:

parenting styles I don't subscribe to

Delilah Loeppky (Loeppkyslife)

Delilah's channel reminds me a lot of Milena's channel but a bit more relatable. She and her husband are young and they share about financial struggles, raising kids on a budget and DIY's. Delilah also takes a pretty natural approach to pregnancy, labor and child-rearing which paired with her beautiful aesthetic is kind of hard to find. I really love Delilah's soft spoken but confident personality and I've personally learned a lot from her videos. I've been really inspired by her gentle parenting and the way she just makes things work. A lot of influencers try to make life seem perfect and Delilah just doesn't do that and I love that.

Favorite Video:

What they don't tell you about after birth

[](https://youtu.be/d3XbzbLx6dc)

Elizabeth(Nurse Zabe)

Elizabeth is a Labor and Delivery RN and she makes YouTube videos from the perspective of being a mother and an L&D nurse. Even though I am very naturally minded I can really appreciate her input and teaching. She does a really great job of explaining why nurses and hospitals do certain things and what to expect. I've found a lot of her videos super informative but not in a boring kind of way. If you're looking for a strictly medical approach to pregnancy, labor & postpartum this channel is a great place to start!

Favorite Video:

10 Things Your Labor Nurse Does NOT Want You To Pack

[](https://youtu.be/7HCbiuS66B8)

I can't lie, I love Sarah. I have watched so many of her videos because her personality is amazing. Sarah started and runs the Bundle Birth company. She provides birth education and support via YouTube, 1:1 clients and for nurses. She is an RN and doula/birth coach which gives her a really cool perspective to bring to mamas. She is my go to for learning about the third trimester, what to look for when going into labor, how to cope through labor and delivery (especially since I'm going naturally) and postpartum care. She shares so many incredible tips, explains things in an easy to understand way and recently she share her sisters entire labor, delivery and postpartum story and I learned SO much. I definitely recommend binging all of her videos in your 3rd trimester.

Favorite Video:

Laboring at Home: How to avoid going too early

Bridget Teyler

Bridget is a Lamaze childbirth educator and doula. She is a very popular labor and delivery YouTuber and there's a reason why. She explains things in a very kind and gentle way. She brings a lot of knowledge to the table and if you have a question, chances are you can type it into the search bar on her page and you'll find the answer! I definitely recommend her if you're approaching labor with a natural mindset and you're looking for as many coping mechanisms and pain management options as possible. She also has a podcast and offers a great deal of information on pregnancy, postpartum and even infant care from her own experience as a mama. I would recommend her breathing through labor videos to everyone!

Favorite Video:

How to start sleep training: Infant Sleep Training

And three more honorable mentions... Megan Acuna, Olivia Zapo and RnB Fam (they've got great content for mom & dad!).

I hope that if you're feeling a little lost that these creators help you find the same peace of mind that they've helped me feel! You've got this mama, you're already so amazing for wanting to learn as much as possible for your little one. Our pregnancy experiences may be nothing like they should be and like we deserve them to be, but that doesn't mean that we can't get access to the education that we need.

xoxo – Ry