What was his name?

Can you tell me anything about him other than the color of his skin?

Don’t tell me what he was wearing-

Why were you afraid? Were you really in danger?

Or was it just your perception, the one that’s been molded about his race, that made you remember?

Did you stop and think? Was he minding his own business?

Waiting and watching to make sure that you weren’t alone, that the streets could defend him? Maybe if he smiled a little more, stood a little taller, you wouldn’t fear him..

Maybe if he changed himself to make you more comfortable, then you wouldn’t say something that would ruin his life, that could ruin his name, his family? Danger, danger.

Did you ever once think that he may be just as afraid of you, as you are of him?

Did you ever once realize that your word is stronger even rooted in lies than the truth from his lips? Oh how the system has already failed him.

You may quicken your step and breathe a sigh of relief when you lock the door to you car, but I can promise you this, he saw the look on your face and it

⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸ ⫸

Dear friends, the past few days I haven’t known what to say. I am a wreck. Emotionally, I’m heartbroken. I am frustrated. I am flabbergasted that we are still at this point in history. Oh how we should be so much farther ahead. Oh how we should value each other and see each other as the beautiful creations that we are. Our differences are what make us so incredibly unique and beautiful and we should all know love much more than we know hatred. But that is simply not the case for POC.

This poem is not about ignoring color – for that is NOT the goal, we should see and appreciate it. There are so many unhealthy aspects to the entire “I don’t see color” mentality and we should turn away from that. But rather I wrote this out of a place of simply THINKING about the pain that POC face daily simply existing in a world that likes to remind them that the world is not in their favor. That the systems are not in their favor. That there is still a precedent of fear and generational hatred directed at them. How insanely terrible would that feel to never know which table, which job, which church, which park, which school, which CORNER, you were truly welcome at, that you wouldn’t be feared at; no- safe at?

I don’t have the solution, in fact I’m not entirely sure I should be speaking on this, or sharing this poem, because I am white. And I believe I need to be using my privilege to make way for those who have been denied a voice for far too long. But at the end of the day,

“Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.” – Deitrich Bonhoeffer.

So please say his name:

Please say the names of the hundreds of thousands of others who have been profiled, skipped over, withheld opportunities, and brutally murdered because of fear and because of hatred.

Get on your knees and pray fierce prayers.

Do not allow yourself to ignore this issue anymore.

Educate yourself. There are so many resources that you can find and it is not your friend who is a POC’s job to educate you. Google is your friend. The many educational lists on Instagram and Facebook are your friend. Set your pride down and be willing to learn from those who are willing to speak.

Do not be so quick to judge or speak up in a backhanded defense of whatever you’re offended by that you silence the point that NEEDS to be made.

Love so fearlessly that your actions are seen as nothing but in alliance with those who feel so utterly left behind.

Challenge yourself to dismiss your own internal prejudice. I know as a white woman I can’t count the times that I was in the situation that I described in the above poem. Even if I fought it off, demanded I stop thinking that way, I questioned my safety, because of a perception that I had attained via the media and the way that our society has trained us to think. But don’t give into it. Train yourself to be better, to love with vigilance, to see past the stereotypes and to look beyond your own pair of shoes.

We can be better.

We can be unified.

We can win this war.

So I will leave you with this, because it needs to be said, and I will never stop saying it until we get it in our heads:

Black Lives Matter.

Hey y’all! Happy Monday.

I have a hard time saying “Happy Monday” after the events that conspired this past weekend. But I believe in trying to start the week on a positive note, that's why Dustin and I fight on Sundays, so we've got a fresh clean slate for Monday! (Kidding. Kind of.)

Anyways... today I'm bringing you a quick little video on some of the practices that truly helped me improve my Coil experience and allowed me a bit of success in this last year.

Sometimes new platforms, like Coil, can be a bit intimidating because you're just not sure how to approach them. But I want to take some of that uncertainty away and show you how I've handled the hurdles I've had thrown at me.

Also, this video is not monetized as of right now, due to an issue with my Payment Pointer suddenly not connecting to Cinnamon. The amazing support team is on it already, but I figured this would be a great opportunity to send this video to a friend or family member on Coil, who may be interested in joining, to show them JUST how easy it is to get involved. Coil doesn't have to be overwhelming and scary.

I hope you enjoy and find this video helpful!

xoxo – Ry

https://www.cinnamon.video/watch?v=332017124958537369

Questioning your place on Coil? This is for you!

When I think about this community I often think of as a big ole' puzzle. But not the kind with a set amount of pieces- rather one that is building itself from the inside out. On a larger scale we all have our place in this puzzle, but sometimes it may take us awhile to figure out where our piece fits in. But with plenty of observation, exploring, trying new things, and experiencing the community, you will find your place!

When you're joining a new platform- especially one as tight knit as Coil has been, it can feel overwhelming and like you don't have a place. But you do! You have a seat at our table, you just have to sit in it.

But what if you talk about the same topics that someone else already does? That's okay! That other person isn't you! They don't have your life experience, your memories, your stories or your lessons to share. They have yours and that unique aspect allows them to draw in their audience, but you're going to draw an entirely different crowd with your perspective and story.

I think that often we shy away from sharing our stories because we believe the lies that “nobody cares” or “it's not going to help anybody” or “I'm not THAT special”.

Well guess what?

You ARE that special because you simply exist. Your perspective is one that nobody else can embody but you! And it's up to you to tell your story and to share your experiences for those who are too afraid to. It's up to you to share for those who need to know they're not alone, or on a lighter end, understand a topic from a point of view that only you can explain well.

We're all so different as humans, but I believe we all have our “matches”. Maybe that means your piece of the puzzle looks very similar to theirs- but it's still slightly unique in the way that they're looking for someone to understand them and you're looking for someone to understand you. And if you just put your story out there you'd quickly realize how well you understand each other!

Fear is usually what holds us back, but I'm just going to erase it all for a moment...

https://media.giphy.com/media/3oKIPyetUBwn9afCHS/giphy.gif

Alrighty, bye bye fear!

Now it's time to face your insecurities, because really, your limiting beliefs are what the fear is trying to mask.

You don't have to be an expert blogger or writer - just ask Patty! She didn't think she was anywhere near capable and look where she's at now, 100 blogs in and they get better and better everyday.

You don't have to know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING. You think I'm 300+ posts in and still talking about the exact same thing? Absolutely not! You just have to know your story and share the things that you're passionate about. A brand doesn't have to be so micro-specific that you only talk about one topic, your brand is YOU and you are much more than one passion.

You don't have to know anybody in the community to get started, but once you're here we'd LOVE to get to know you! All you have to do is hop on Twitter and find any of us, we'd love to introduce you around. If you're unsure of who to start with, here's my Twitter, Patty B's Twitter or XRP Gord's Twitter. We'd all be MORE than happy to “give you a tour”.

You don't even have to be a writer! We've got awesome creators who only create video and visual content and post it on Coil and Cinnamon- either way, you're welcome here. A great example is @aaa if you haven't seen his videos, or @lesliejoyart who posts beautiful pieces regularly!

As you can see, we're still a small community, growing quickly, but still small. I highly encourage you to hop on Coil and just give it a try. You do not have to pay any amount of money to join or use it as a creator, but I do recommend getting the $5 membership so that you can support other creators with subscriber only content and use Cinnamon.video! If you have any questions or you're looking for help on getting started, please don't hesitate to reach out to me or anyone else in the community, we'd love to help you get started!

You're the missing piece in our puzzle and we'd love to have you join our table.

xoxo – Ry

I don't typically drop my handles but I will on this post so you can get in contact with me easily!

Twitter: @riley_quin

Instagram: @riley_quin

Email: riley@rileyq.com

You are not too much.

Your voice matters.

Your experiences are valid.

Your opinions are YOURS.

You do not have to shut up and sit pretty.

You don’t have to be the “nice girl”.

You do not have to make yourself feel less than, so someone else can feel comfortable.

You can be kind, you can be respectful, and you can be firm in your voice all at the same time.

You can disagree with someone while still respecting them.

You can disagree with someone without invalidating them.

You can disagree with someone without having to open your mouth.

Be a voice.

Be a strong voice.

See something? Say something.

Do not be afraid to be called “bitch” – it is simply a word that only holds power when we give it power.

Do not allow your spirit and your voice to be crushed by those who “mean the best”.

Don’t be afraid to start a dialogue because it may be controversial or you know someone is going to disagree.

Your age does not define your knowledge and your opinion.

Your gender does not define your knowledge and your opinion.

Your race does not define your knowledge and your opinion.

Your status does not define your knowledge and your opinion.

You choose what you share.

You choose to protect your voice.

Share your experience with confidence.

Share your belief system with confidence.

Share your opinions with confidence.

But be respectful when others share.

Do not interject.

Let them know that their voice matters too.

Treat others how you want to be treated.

Teach your children by showing them that their voice matters & their experiences are valid and that they deserve to be heard.

Teach your children by example that you can be both kind and have your voice.

Teach your children that “no” is an acceptable answer.

Let your voice be heard.

✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘ ✘

I recorded a video last night after discovering a post and also feeling incredibly heartbroken over the deaths of Ahmaud Aubrey, Breonna Taylor and now George Floyd amongst the countless others that haven't been reported on. There is not a ton that I can do as a white woman other than use my very undeserving and truthfully, unfair, privilege to say something and encourage those around me to use their voices. Do not be afraid to stand up and say something. The impact of the words you may be called will never even begin to compare to the impact that you will make validating someone else's experience and their voice.

This goes for all injustice, but right now especially, racial injustice.

Just the same way we teach people to “see something, say something” in bars and on college campuses, we need to carry that practice to every matter in our lives, no matter how uncomfortable it makes us.

I hope you hear my heart.

I had a video. It was probably the best one I've ever done and reflected my heart much better than words on a screen. But, in an attempt to save the video, I deleted the footage, permanently. I cried. A lot. But I had zero energy to redo it and apparently it was never supposed to be viewed. So I truly hope this post summed it up enough and that you realize that no matter what situation you're in – relational, racial, sexual, political- that you remember that your voice matters and that if you see something, say something. It's always worth it to stand up for yourself and those around you.

xoxo – Ry

A beautiful watercolor my mother painted in memory of George Floyd. May his name never be forgotten.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CAtyWy3pGxJ/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I don't know about you, but I HATE cold messaging. And real quick, before you click off this article, because you're triggered, ask yourself why you may be triggered and then keep reading because this isn't just about MLM's- this is for anyone and everyone who has ever run a business or been preyed on by someone running a business.

I detest cold messaging with a deep passion and it truly pisses me off more than anything. Not even going to sugar coat it. It's a tactic that has been used for many years, but it is now one that is used more than ever, typically in regards to MLM's or other businesses structured that (🔺) way. No I don't think that MLM's, or at least all of them are “pyramid schemes”, but I don't love the tacky and intrusive business practices that most of them train their employees/partners with. Now I will say, it's not always an MLM that cold messages me and not all MLM'rs even cold message, but the majority that I've met, it's been via, you've guessed it, a cold message. I've had plenty of independent business owners reach out to me trying to sell me on their products or services that I either didn't need at the time, or didn't have ANYTHING to do with my existing business or needs.

Before you angrily message me, let me preface with this, I have many friends who are in MLM's who LOVE what they do. And that's great for them. But we're friends, because they respect that I don't have an interest in joining a team and if I want to buy their products, I will ask them. And that is why we can remain friends, because I don't feel like I constantly have a target on my back.

Cold messaging is the number one way to turn someone off to your business, I truly believe that. It may have USED to work, when it wasn't as frequent and social media didn't exist and it was the only way to get your product out there (door to door salesmen), but it doesn't work anymore.

Because now, we have all of these beautiful platforms that allow us the opportunity to add value, educate, build relationships (aka trust), and allow for those who WANT our products to reach out to us.

I think this pisses me off the most right now because I've recently been approached by MANY (at least 10) MLM's in the past few months since I announced I am pregnant.

For some reason, the second people see you as “mom”, all of your other passions and pursuits go out the window and you are destined to be a stay at home mom who works selling vitamins, skincare or some other slightly questionable product. (Note: that comment shouldn't trigger you if you run an honest/clean business.) It drives me crazy! Trust me, I was preyed on before. Young woman, somewhat substantial social media following, already marketing myself (for music, writing & website design- my ACTUAL passions) and they “thought I'd be the perfect addition to their growing team”. *cue eye roll* But now, it's 10x worse because mothers apparently can't have all of the things and careers they had before conceiving a child! The assumptions, intrusiveness and lack of relationship that goes into cold messaging and cold sales truly irks me- and many others.

For more on that subject – read this very well written article by my friend Rebecca.

Do I know some people who cold messaging works for? Yes. But that's because either...

a. They're amazing at picking out targets (usually women with few friends looking for their “tribe”– which is the first thing they'll promise you.)

or

b. They already created opportunity, connections, education and the RELATIONSHIP where they had either “inquired” about it before or expressed interest via a comment or vote in a poll.

Now that second option is truly not as bad as the first. It's not necessarily warm, but it's not truly cold- you've gained trust and/or permission.

If you're not familiar with these companies, let me enlighten you. People are trained, primarily women from what I've seen, to use other people's stories and circumstances to manipulate someone else into believing that they won't be a good enough mother, or provide enough for their family, or they'll always be lonely if they don't join their company. Let me be (not the first to say) how DARE you use someone's story against them? It's already so hard to be vulnerable on social media, and truly, for a lot of us, we have to be just so we can maintain friendships. In my case, majority of my friendships are online, because I live in a somewhat rural area with a very isolating career. But, I have to be super careful when talking to new people, especially on Instagram, because there seems to be this idea that anyone who checks the boxes you're looking for, is fair game to try and recruit. And I don't want to be recruited.

In fact, it feels like a slap in the face when I am working ridiculously hard to help provide for my family through writing, music and website design. I mean, I work HARD. And I LOVE what I do. But when I'm approached by someone who's simply trying to meet a monthly quota to “earn their free car” who tears down my efforts or completely overlooks them, it makes me feel like all of my hard work isn't seen. Which totally isn't true!

My point in all of this is to say that even someone with the best possible intentions should not use cold messaging as a business tactic.

It is tacky.

It is invasive.

It is offensive.

It is violating.

I'm not prey.

I'm not “alone” without their tribe.

I'm not a “boss babe”.

I'm not a “sweetie” and I don't need to be talked down to.

I run my businesses with pride and humility.

I am happy where I'm at.

I don't “want” my life to be “easier” nor does joining your company mean that it will become easier. In fact, if you're cold messaging, your life is most definitely harder than mine.

I feel that often MLM's and predatory businesses hide the issues and the pain and the struggle and the VERY LOW checks (for majority of people) because they see the people at the top thriving and they want that. But that's just not possible for everyone. Eventually there's a market cap. Eventually everyone's heard of the product and is either using it, or had a bad experience or heard a bad review. I can walk into a room and mention a few specifically and all you're going to see and hear are groans and eye rolls, because they have earned a terrible rep- usually because of cold messaging.

So hear me out, please. There are other ways to sell products and run a business. I'm not saying to quit if you truly love and believe in the products. But I caution you, if you ever start to think “Oh! She's a mom now, she NEEDS these products” – don't message her. Or if you see that she's crying about something on her Instagram story, regardless of if you think your product may help, don't reach out with the sole intention of selling a product. Reach out with loving arms and honest advice. Chances are, she's going to know what product you sell and if she wants it, she'll ask for it. If she asks for product advice, there ya go, you have an opening. But don't be manipulative. Don't be slimy. Don't make people feel like they're just another checkbox on your way to another monthly bonus.

Add value.

Educate.

Show up with transparency.

Seek abundance in humility.

Treat people like they're people and make sure you know darn well what their story is before you do any kind of messaging.

And for the love of all, never say “Hey girl! I love your page! Have you ever thought about...” 🤦🏼‍♀️

With all my love,

xoxo – Riley

Hey ya'll!

I hope you had a lovely weekend and for my American friends, have the ability to spend time with friends and family today and remember the incredible men and women who sacrificed their lives for our freedom. I know there is so much going on right now and it's more important than ever that we continue to stand up and fight for the freedom that others have so painfully lost their lives for. If we do not maintain our rights and utilize them well, it was all for nothing.

Anyways, off the mini soap box.

Today I am spending time with Dustin and getting some work done, we may hang out with a few friends later. I didn't really feel like doing a full blown post, but I did do a front porch worship session this morning and I wanted to share the last few I've done!

For those of who you don't know what that is, I did a post about them a few weeks back. I used to lead worship at my church in Michigan, but when I moved to Tennessee I stopped leading. It's been a long journey that is far from over, but in the meantime I'm leading worship right from the front porch and I truly love it.

I hope that this music will bring you peace and allow you to worship right where you're at, no matter what's going on in your life.

Today's session:

Session #6 – All My Hope by David Crowder

https://www.cinnamon.video/watch?v=327462029134661036

xoxo – Ry

Session #3 – Living Hope by Phil Wickham

https://www.cinnamon.video/watch?v=315419407738209329

Session #4 – How Can It Be? by Lauren Daigle

https://www.cinnamon.video/watch?v=315426301445932107

Session #5 – On My Side by Kim Walker-Smith

https://www.cinnamon.video/watch?v=322949023864457075