It is the second day of the International Women's *Week* Project! Although my mind was completely occupied by the damage from the storm this morning and making sure that friends and family were alright, I'm still excited to dive into deeper to another amazing woman in our community.
Today I'm excited to share a very special interview with writer, XRP community member and my sweet friend:
G: Who am I? Wow, Iâve been sitting here for 10 minutes trying to figure out how to answer this question. You think it would be easy because I can be such a Chatty Cathy. Usually I like to talk to everyone and find out who they are. I genuinely like to hear other peopleâs story. Maybe thatâs why I was once called a walking question mark.
But if I had to boil down who I am, I would probably say the song The Ones That Like Me, by Brantley Gilbert best paints the picture of me.
The chorus goes like this:
The ones that need me got me
The ones that doubt me can't stop me
Even the ones that said forget him
You can bet they ain't forgot me
Either wanna hit me or hold me
Those that hate me don't know me
And the ones that don't trust anybody trust me
Yeah, the ones that like me love me
My husband used to say I was as honest as the day is long. Iâm a stickler for the truth. I am loyal. It takes a lot for me to walk away from someone. Iâd take a bullet for many of my friends, and probably a total stranger as well. I think thatâs made me a leader in my little corner of the world, whether I want to be or not. Some people lead from in front. Some lead from behind. Iâve lead by walking along side.
So I guess you can say, I am passionate about people and being there for them. This is especially true of Veterans, children and women.
3 of Giulia's favorite places:
1- With the General Manager of the New York Jets
2 â Costa Rice
3 â Washington D.C.
*Perhaps itâs where I came from in life that has made me like this. Iâm a first generation American whose parents came here for a better life. They taught me the value of hard work. I witnessed a different culture growing up, and perhaps that made me feel a little bit of a misfit in life. Iâm also a middle child. Between the bossy and the spoiled. (You know who you are.) Maybe thatâs why I try to make it a point to always engage with the people around me.
*
Lastly, Iâm a Jersey Girl. You gotta have some attitude if youâre a Jersey Girl.
R: I wish I could reach right through the screen and give you a giant hug! We're not often asked who we are anymore, with social media and all, so I understand the difficulty in answering. From what I've seen and learned in the few months of knowing you, I could definitely agree with that song choice. You are a beautiful soul and I appreciate you sharing your story today. It's very interesting that you're a first generation American, the perspective you bring to the table can be hard to obtain nowadays.
G: When I was younger I was good in art class. I was so good that in 8th grade I had my very own section dedicated to me in the annual art show. It was the talk of the show. I developed my skill until I went to college, and at that point I didnât have time to continue with it. I just started painting again last year. So I guess I rediscovered that Iâm good at it after 30 years.
*Iâm not really sure when I began to enjoy writing. Writing copy for clients or my businesses that entailed marketing, I realized I could come up with some pretty clever ideas. But itâs only been the past couple years that more personal thoughts and stories have spilled out onto paper. Maybe because I have more time to think these days. I am constantly thinking about random stuff. I constantly write all kinds of soliloquies in my head, especially when Iâm driving long distances. One day I just started putting them down on paper.
*
R: Although I've never seen any of your paintings, I've really enjoyed your writing. You have a way with words and you're an incredible storyteller. I spotted your talent when I read your first article on Coil, âEternal Springtimeâ. (In the article, she depicts an imagery of how she and her husband Fred slowly melded together over the years and the pain of his passing. It's beautiful and hard and I encourage you to give it a read.)
Giulia & Fred at a costume party.
G: Iâm not sure how influential my mom is outside her circle, but I would say sheâs one of my inspirations. Sheâs had a hard life with my father, but she always exhibited strength. She has all kinds of talents and growing up I picked up on a lot of them. I learned how to sew, knit, crochet, cook. That complimented my artistic personality.
She also was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer about 16 years ago. She was such a trooper through it all. She made up her mind she was not going to give into it, and just kept active. It was amazing to see her strength.
*Just before she got sick I was getting her into quilting. She made some beautiful quilts for her granddaughters and entered one in the county fair. I remember asking one of the ladies that worked in the building where it was displayed, how her quilt did. I described it to her. I was hoping my mom won something. Sheâd be happy. The lady said to me, âare you talking about the one that won Best of Show?â I couldnât believe it! She went on and on about the hand stitch and how it was so consistent. So sometimes we have special people right under our noses and donât realize it.
*
Here is a picture of her, with my niece and nephew, from a shadow box my sister put together, displaying her ribbons and the winners listed in the local paper.
R: This is such a lovely story. Your mother emitted so much strength. Her posture in this photo even radiates strength. I can only imagine her smile when she found out she won. What a wonderful moment! I love that she passed those skills down, it's not often that you see children picking up their parents skills anymore. My own mother tried to teach me to knit and in my stubbornness I pretty much refused after a few months. I'm sure I'll regret that some day.
G: Sadly I will have to answer this one in past tense. What I loved most about being a woman was being a partner and wife. I first met Fred when he hired me to work for him. We were quite a team. In 2005, Fred was diagnosed with Parkinsonâs. Around then he sold the business and retired. I continued to work there for a few years, and then quit. I decided to work from home at that point, knowing Fred would need me more and more. We saw each other almost every day for the majority of 25 years. If he was traveling, we would Skype or chat. I loved cooking for him, working on projects with him, and going on some great adventures. We had a hot air ballooning business and he flew for quite some time after the diagnosis. In 2001 we had started a balloon festival at our county fair. So we continued to do that. Of course we would have disagreements on how to do things. (He could be a control freak.) But to everyone that knew us, we were an incredible team.
He also was an avid hunter, so I would ride along with him sometimes to help him set up and keep him company. I actually did some of my best writing when I was groundhog hunting with him!
Itâs coming up on 5 years and some days it feels just like yesterday. I just miss him and itâs hard knowing Iâm never going to feel his touch again.
R: I am so thankful that you were willing to share your love story. I'm sure you were an incredible team and I'm sure being up in the hot air balloons together was simply enchanting. Being a wife is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I'm absolutely sure that losing your love was harder. I will keep you in my prayers as the anniversary of his passing comes up. Hugs đ¤
G: My parents were pretty strict when I was growing up. *They were pretty old fashioned. So it bothered me that I wasnât allowed to do what my brothers were. But I can honestly say that I donât think I have faced any hardship in my professional life as a woman. I donât think anything has held me back from doing anything that I put my mind to. Maybe thatâs the Jersey Girl in me, but if I want to do something, nothing is going to stop me.
*
With the exception of the past couple years, where Iâve kind of been checked out, Iâve worked hard. Iâve worked alongside everyone and when you set that kind of example itâs hard for others to tear you down. If someone thought I was incapable, I was oblivious to it.
I often joke about my husband underestimating me⌠once.
R: Hah! I love that. A strong work ethic is hard to come across nowadays. My husband has underestimated me a few times, but he always learns his lesson. đ This is a great lesson to be learned though. Work so hard and so intentionally that you don't notice what the people around you are saying or thinking.
G: I do think men and women think differently. Or at least, the way I think is completely different from anyone else. My brother is very structured and organized, but I guess some women are like that too. One day I was thinking about how crazy ideas always come to me. Later that day my brother and I were heading somewhere and I said, âYou know how some people compartmentalize everything when they think?â He said, âYeah?â I answered, âWell, I donât have any compartments.â He said, âYou mean you just let it all bounce around in there, eh?â I laugh, because it is so true. I think that not having separation of ideas in my mind allows the creativity to come out. Itâs kinda like how when I cook, I like to mix flavors. Today I made butternut squash soup and I threw some pineapple in there. (Donât tell the âno pineapple on pizzaâ people though.) It was great. That little bit of unexpected flavor added so much more to the soup. Thatâs how I like my ideas, to be able to mix with other ideas, and come out with solutions or whatever. Iâm not sure if itâs necessarily a woman thing, or a me thing.
R: I personally cannot relate to this as I am VERY compartmentalized. But, I know that many other women are like this. I think the beauty in this is that each woman thinks a different way and the ideas that emit from each of our brains are unique because of how we come across them. I personally think that women are a little better at taking risks when it comes to creating because we have a few back-up plans already in our heads, so it makes creating a really interesting and fun process! I'm VERY intrigued by this pineapple in soup concept though, the thought has never occurred to me. Nice find!
G: I keep saying that I want to write a book one day. I am not sure if I ever will, but if I do, it will be a book about Fred. He was so interesting and lovable. He lived with no fear, so he was always on some sort of adventure. I called him Tom Sawyer. I remember when his grandson started reading longer books, he was reading Tom Sawyer. So I said to him, âYou know, I call your Grampa, Tom Sawyer. You want to know why?â He said, âBecause heâs always steeped in misery.â I said, âNo, thatâs not him.â He said, âI mean mischief.â I shook my head and said âYeah, yeah, thatâs him.â So maybe one day I will write that book.
R: I truly hope you do, you're a fantastic writer and from the few stories I've read about Fred, I'm sure the book would be a great read!
G: For the past couple years I have done a military themed corn maze on the farm where I live.
![]()
Here is a video of last yearâs project:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hgh0bTJq1M&t=5s
*This was the first time I appeared in the videos. I donât like to do that kind of stuff but I knew I had to if I was going to be able to convey the story of why this particular theme. I was really nervous. It took forever to shoot because I kept messing up what I wanted to say. And of course I knew I was going to critique myself the entire time. Who knew I had a little lisp? Just give me pen and paper.
*
A local news crew came out and did a great story too. It sums up all the things I have been chatting about so far.
https://www.wlvt.org/blogs/warren/lost-in-a-corn-maze-a-veterans-widow-honors-others/
*This year I am excited about the theme â Rosie the Riveter. I will incorporate secret messages again. The signage will highlight women and their World War II efforts. Women who worked in manufacturing, as well as women that helped crack the Enigma and Purple codes. In addition the black women mathematicians â âthe computersâ â that worked for NASA (then called NACA).
*
*I am also very excited about the project I am hopefully about to embark on. Last year a few of us set up a charity to raise money for the future Fred T. Grotenhuis Veterans Community Center.
*
*It grew out of a Yoga for Veterans program, where we would discuss meditation, sound therapy, energy medicine and other alternative ways to deal with trauma. I kept hearing the same thing over and over again. Veterans visiting the VA hospitals were being pumped full of meds. They were prescribing drugs, to deal with the drugs that were causing side effects, that were prescribed to⌠You get the idea.
*
*There is an old building at the edge of the town, Harmony, where I live. Ever since I have had this idea to create a Veterans Community Center, I have thought this building would be perfect. This past week I made an offer on the building. It has probably been vacant for 30 years. Someone bought it at one point and was going to put in an antique place or something like that. He passed away and the building was purchased from the estate. That was a little over a year ago. It was snatched up pretty quick. Still, every time I drove by I thought, that place would be perfect. A year later it came back on the market.
*
The building requires a ton of work and no one in their right mind would probably buy it. Certainly not for a Community Center as opposed to a property they could renovate and flip. Iâve learned over the past few years to listen to my gut though. There is not one hesitation I feel about jumping in with both feet. Someone once told me Iâm like a Leslie Knope⌠Nope. Well, maybe just a little.
R: So the corn thing- SO COOL. I had no idea this stuff even existed. (If you scrolled past the video, go back and watch it!) As for the community center, I absolutely love that idea. First of all, I am so thankful that someone is challenging the VA's and how they medicate, it's a horrible issue. Secondly, how incredible that the building came back on the market. I truly hope that you end up getting the building and I cannot wait to hear about/watch the process of the restoration and transformation. I'm sure the community would be all in to help and raise awareness, so we'll be staying tuned for that update!
R: Every woman that I interviewed, I asked them to send me their advice in a voice memo. The power of spoken words is extraordinary and I wanted you to experience that in an audio/video form. Enjoy!
https://www.cinnamon.video/watch?v=267344863492572494
Thank you so much Giulia, for sharing your story and allowing us to step into your world for a moment. I appreciate you taking the time and I value your contributions to the community!
Check back tomorrow for the next installment of the International Women's *Week* Project!
xoxo â Ry
p.s. If you missed yesterday's interview with Sophie Chanko, check it out
