Riley Q

Music – Motherhood – Marriage – Mental Health | Listen to the Solidarity Podcast on Apple & Spotify🎙| Twitter & IG: @riley_quin

Good Morning my lovely Coil friends!

Happy Thursday! Real quick if I could just have your attention:

Stop second guessing everything you do. I get it, it’s hard in this day and age not to. With all of the lives to compare and things to question, it’s frustrating. How can you not compare yourself and constantly question your actions when you’re 24/7 seeing everyone else’s decisions and such? It’s super frustrating! But ya know, if I had to choose one thing I learned from 2019, it’s to trust your gut, your intuition, your instinct. Now this doesn’t mean to say or do the first thing that comes to mind, rather, choose the options that after you breathe for ten seconds and feel it out, that feels right to you. Whether you’re the praying kind or not, we all have an intuition and for me personally, I see mine as God guiding me. Rather than having to question every little thing, if I let go for a second and look within, I always know the answer. I don’t know what that looks like for you, but I’m sure that feeling in your heart will show up when you need it to!

xoxo – Ry

As you go about your day, try not to second guess yourself. Practice slowing down and thinking before you reply to a request or a question and then answer with confidence. You’ve got this. 🖤

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Warning: Sassy Riley came out this episode.

Welcome back to the Merge Podcast!

There's been a lot of talk about leaving Coil, frustration with the systems- just the usual fear of failure. I know that it can be discouraging when things don't move quickly, but I want you to see the bigger picture for Coil. This is a long term game we're playing and you have to stick it out. I promise if you don't you will regret it.

If you've been discouraged by all the talk of leaving or if you yourself are feeling like maybe it's time to take a step back, I encourage you to listen to this episode and rethink it all.

You are all beautiful and talented in your own way and in this ecosystem and we need you long term.

Let’s connect on , and !

- RILEY Q

https://www.buzzsprout.com/790439/2604988-stay-on-coil

or ...

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Happy Wednesday! Sometimes you have to go with flow, even when you don't want to. But ya know, who said you can't change the flow?

Life doesn't always go the way we want it to. Systems mess up, friendships change, things and people fail us, plans change- it can be difficult to cope with. Personally, I'm a planner. Like big time. I have to know what is going on and when it's going on and how and where and why and.. you get the point. I'm a bit of a control freak. In recent years I've had to loosen up quite a bit. Joining a family that doesn't plan events until the day before, or usually- the day of; has proven to be slightly stressful. On top of that, my life has changed significantly with adding a husband into the mix and well, adulting doesn't often allow you to know everything. 🤷‍♀️ Through it all I've really had to learn to let go and just let it flow. BUT- that doesn't mean that I don't still prioritize my mental health and needs. My anxiety goes berserk when I don't have a handle on certain things, or at least an understanding. When things happen I try to take note, so that I can prevent the same thing from happening again and kinda, just, guide the flow.

Hugs! xoxo- Ry

Today, when things don't go exactly as planned, because really, they never do, try not to freak out.

Take note of what happened and think about how you can prevent it from happening again. On the flip side, try to take a moment to appreciate the little blessings you get to experience that you wouldn't have gotten to if things had got to plan.

Example: traffic, having to take the long way home means getting to finish your podcast that you needed to hear or seeing that beautiful sunset that you usually miss.

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❝ Where are you from? ❞

❝ The Detroit area! ❞

The nose scrunch, the slight twinge of the eye with a slight eyebrow raise- it's the face I expect whenever I tell someone where I'm from; followed by:

❝ Well that's just too bad. ❞

No, actually it's not. Detroit is not only on the rise, but it stands with its head held high because of what it's been through. Socially, economically, it's been through hell and back, but what has never left is the soul. It's beautiful- the picture above, the cover photo, although blurry, was taken on a handheld digital camera when I was 13 years old. It's still how I see the city, blurry and full of mystery.

Artists from Detroit are truly some of the most incredible people I've ever met and admired. The likes of Allee Willis- who was a tornado in the songwriting, art, theatre AND tech industries, Aretha Franklin who needs no introduction, Berry Gordy and Smokey Robinson; freaking Motown. Must I go on?

Of course I will, Detroiters are amazing.

Eminem

Stevie Wonder

The Supremes

The Temptations

Jack White

The Romantics

Lizzo (Ok she moved to Dallas at 10 but we're claiming her.)

Honorable mentions for being amazing Michigan artists:

Kid Rock & Madonna (Romeo & Bay City)

As you can see there is so much talent that has come from Detroit and there is SO much talent currently in Detroit. With tons of programs popping up, festivals on a regular basis and musicians performing more and more in the city- the art scene is thriving!

Growing up I listened to all of these artists, studied them and I admired each of them for what they brought to the table. The one thing that was consistent across the board? Soul. Regardless of their backgrounds, upbringings, color of their skin- they had soul and they had power in the words that they wrote and the words that they sang. They had power to bring people together in beautiful ways and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it all.

I think out of all of them, Aretha has always inspired me the most...

..in my writing, in the way that I sing, in the way that I perform. The woman knew how to have fun, but she was classy. She held her own and was strong and confident and there will never be another like her. She held her heritage close and her faith closer and man did she have soul. She will forever be remembered as the queen of soul.

For those of you who don't know a lot about Aretha, she grew up in Detroit in the 1940's/50's. (Note: She was technically born in Memphis but moved to Detroit at 5 and that was her self-proclaimed home and city.) She started singing gospel at her church and even recorded her first nine tracks (vocals and piano) on recording equipment that was installed at the church specifically for her. She had her first recording contract through J.V.B Records and her first single was released in 1956 at the age of 14, just four years after her mother died of a heart attack and two years after she had her first son.

*image info below*

At 16, Aretha went on tour with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and sang at his speaking events. She even went on to sing at his funeral. In 1960 Franklin was signed to Columbia records after declining Sam Cooke's RCA offer and Berry Gordy's Tamla offer. She was dubbed the queen of soul during her short run with Columbia, where although she landed on the Billboard Hot 100 and even claimed a number one slot with her version of “Rock-a-Bye Your Baby with a Dixie Melody” by Jean Schwartz, Sam M. Lewis and Joe Young, she didn't find much commercial success with Columbia. It was often attributed to the fact that the label did not highlight or work with her incredible gospel background.

In November of 1966, Aretha moved over to Atlantic which is where she started to truly take off. With hits like Otis Reddings' “Respect” and “I Never Loved A Man (The Way I Love You)”, Aretha found her place in R&B/Soul and the Pop world.

In 1980 Aretha moved over to Clive Davis' Arista records where she planted herself for 27 years until her final move to RCA in 2014 which had control over the Arista catalog. Her final performance was on November 7th, 2017 in New York City at Elton John's charity event.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMbPwaPD_Rs

Aretha was incredibly skilled in so many ways. An incredible piano player (trained by ear), an insanely talented vocalist and one hell of an entertainer, Aretha will be sure to live on forever. She was a civil rights activist, she strongly supported the Native American rights movement and she never shied away from using her music to take a stand.

*image info below*

After living in New York City and Los Angeles, Aretha returned to her home city of Detroit in 1982 to be near to her father, who had been shot point blank, and stayed there until she died in August of 2018.

She never finished high school.

She lost her mother to divorce and then to a heart attack.

She endured two teen pregnancies at 12 & 15.

She experienced a horribly abusive marriage to a man who publicly shamed and bruised her.

She went through two divorces of her own and then broke off an engagement to the same man twice.

She bounced from deal to deal and saw the same people who raised her up in her career completely abandon her.

She lost her father after a shooting and years of being in a coma.

She lost all three of her siblings to cancer.

DESPITE all of that, she had an incredible career and still sends chills down the spines of those she left behind with her talent.

One of my favorite quotes from her, that I hold dearly:

*image info below*

I mean right there, that's exactly why I write and why I sing. To strengthen and uplift, to encourage and to be a catalyst for healing. If I can take my pain and my heart and my soul and put it into a song so that someone else can find comfort, you bet I will write as many songs as I have in me.

Aretha did things her way and she was extremely sassy. She channeled every ounce of her hurt and her trauma and rather than letting it destroy her, she sang her soul out. I honestly take that as a lesson. Things happen, life happens, crap happens and you can either choose to let it ruin and rot the rest of your life away or you can take your story and make something out of it.

❝Be your own artist, and always be confident in what you're doing. If you're not going to be confident, you might as well not be doing it.❞ – Aretha Franklin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zv_Zoa-j2Q

I may not have grown up in the bad parts of Detroit, I grew up in metro, and I am grateful for that. Maybe I have a different view of the city because of that, but I definitely inherited the spirit that is passed around. Innovation, strength, confidence, grit- it all goes into being an extraordinary artist. I have to be honest, whenever I get stuck, especially musically, I turn to artists like Aretha and Stevie to remind me of the way that things used to be done and I am inspired once again.

Never stop believing, never stop dreaming and never forget where you came from.

Jan Persson/Redferns/Getty Images

xoxo – Ry

Click to meand tell me who inspires you!

https://twitter.com/riley_quin/status/1222268413743112194?s=20

(Thanks @PatríciaC for this awesome engagement idea!)

https://youtu.be/TtugO6WE_o4

*Please note that not all images could be sourced due to a lack of records. A few photos were procured via Rolling Stone, any photos that could be cited were. Otherwise they were gathered via internet images. As stated, original sources could not be easily traced.*

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Happy Tuesday! Today I've got a message that might attract my ladies more, but I have to say it's definitely for everyone. 😘

I am not a huge fan of the self-care movement. Now don't get me wrong, I am all about taking care of yourself, loving on yourself, etc. But, I believe that the current movement has gotten out of hand in a lot of ways. A lot of people have led us to believe that things like taking bubble baths and eating chocolate will fix our mental health issues and will fix the way that we see ourselves. False. It won't. Chocolates and bubble baths may make us feel nice and loved for a short moment, but it's a bandaid for a hemorrhage- it just doesn't work. I believe that one of the best ways to truly practice self care is by taking small steps everyday to change your mindset. By shifting the way that you talk to yourself and the way you think about yourself, you'll start to fall into a place of truly loving on yourself. It may take awhile, I think it does for everyone. Let me be clear, I don't think that affirmations fix everything. Honestly, I kind of see them as another bandaid, but it's a start. Because the difference between words and a piece of chocolate is that by using positive, affirming and truthful words, you start to rewire your brain. It's a small shift, it's a small act, and it needs to be paired with other intentional action, but it's a start.

Hugs! xoxo- Ry

Address yourself in a kind way today.

Avoid talking about yourself in a negative way. If you find yourself saying negative things “I can never do that right”, “I hate my skin”, “Ugh, I'm never going to get to do that”– catch yourself. Correct your wording and find something to appreciate about yourself. For example: “I can never do that right” change it to, “I messed up, but now I know what not to do next time, I grateful to learn these lessons before they affect something bigger.” Small changes like that can improve your attitude and mood so much.

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Clutter is only a decision being postponed.

Clutter in your house, car, mind- it's all holding you back from your full potential. When you're trying to accomplish goals, you have steps to take and when your mind/body/space isn't clean, you are much less likely to actually accomplish those goals.

Stop procrastinating and pushing things off. 👏🏻

Clean your house.

Clean your car.

Clean your mind- decide who and what gets to stay.

Clean your schedule- don't prioritize people who aren't prioritizing you.

Clean your phone- get rid of and limit the apps that you don't need or that are taking up too much time.

Clean up so that you can get up and get ahead!

Everyday you push it off, the longer it’s going to take you to accomplish the tasks or goals on your plate. Your space needs to be clean, your mind needs to be decluttered and your schedule needs to be decluttered. This means being intentional about relationships, events you attend, what you put into your mind and ears everyday and the things you allow to enter your house and car and office- really any space you’re spending significant amounts of time in. If it brings you dread or stress or makes you want to not want to deal with it- you need to deal with it now. The sooner you do, the sooner you will find success.

If you're having a hard time making decisions about things you should ask yourself these questions:

Is it (are they) helping you move forward? Awesome.

If it's stagnant or impacting you negatively you need to say adios.

Is it going to improve your health? Mentally or Physically? Sweet.

If not, peace out.

Is this something you've been putting off?

Get someone you trust or love to help you make the decision.

Just get it done.

I promise that the quicker you declutter your life, the quicker you will start to see results. 👏🏻 You got this!

xoxo – Ry

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Happy Monday! Always tell people you love them. Always.

As we've all learned at one point or another, life is short and we never know when our time on earth is going to end. We never know when we will see the people we love for the last time. Tell people you love them, always, every time you see them. I truly don't think you can tell people you love them enough.

Hugs! xoxo- Ry

Say I love you.

Call your parents, text your siblings, tell your kids, tell your partner, tell anyone you love that you love them. It's important and you will regret not saying it if something happened.

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I am always on the hunt for a new way to get to know people over the internet. As a self-proclaimed super introvert, I have a hard time going out and making friends. Sounds super lame, I know, but I prefer to stay in and watch Netflix with Dustin or write music or work. That leaves me relying on my networking skills to make friends online. As many of you know I love the Coil community so much and as much as I get to know all of you via your articles, I'd love to somehow personally connect with each of you!

I was scrolling through IG and saw the #thedollypartonchallenge which is being embraced by all decent members of society. 😂

ANYWAYS, it got me thinking, how fun would it be to do a Coil challenge of some sorts to help get to know each other better?!

So here we go, hopefully ya'll don't let me fall flat on my face and you'll play along so we can get to know each other in a fun interactive way!

#thecoilchallenge : Riley Q

1. I love the show FRIENDS so much that I put a reference about watching it in my newest song. 😂

https://media.giphy.com/media/lraZ1D4oJuF8yo1t63/giphy.gif

2. I had vowed not to date anyone for the entire year of 2018, but then I met Dustin 7 months in and well... here we are.

3. If I had to pick one food to eat for the rest of my life, it would probably be potatoes. I freaking love potatoes. Mashed, diced, cheesified, in fry form, baked, crispy, hashbrowns- you name it, I love it.

https://media.giphy.com/media/V7nNXG1q5lsNa/giphy.gif

4. Dustin and I have two angel babies and we are so excited to one day have our rainbow! ❤️

NEXT I nominate for #thecoilchallenge

  1. If you could travel to any country in the world, where would you travel to?
  2. What has been your greatest accomplishment?
  3. What is your favorite dessert?
  4. What is your favorite thing to do in your city?

Have fun! I can't wait to read your answers!

xoxo – Ry

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Happy Sunday! I hope you're enjoying the last day of this lovely weekend! While you're out and about today running errands, shopping, attending church, or whatever you do on a Sunday, I encourage you to smile and say hello to someone.

You never know who is going through trouble in life. Whether they are feeling lonely, working through struggles with friends and family, battling depression, it could be anything- but you could make an impact. When you're walking your dog and you pass a neighbor, don't look down, smile and say hello. When you're at the grocery store walking down the aisle, don't glare at someone in your way, smile, say hello and kindly ask if you can get past. Ask the person at the cash register or the attendant at self-checkout how they're doing today. Smile and say hello to everyone you can and I promise that not only will they feel good, noticed and seen, you will feel great as well. We are made for human connection and with the faceless world of social media, we have to be 10x more intentional with how we connect with others! Have a great rest of your weekend and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Hugs! xoxo- Ry

Challenge yourself to say hi and smile to at least 5 people.

Even if you don't leave your house, I'm sure you can get creative. (Facetime?)

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It's been a bit hectic this week as we are house sitting for my sister in law and brother in law and honestly, I have missed a ton on Coil! In fact, it seems like we might've all been a bit busy this week. I don't typically do a week in review, but I thought it might be helpful for those of you who tend to push your reading/listening off until the weekend! As some of you may know, I kicked off a series last week called “Bless the Mess”. Every morning I greet you on Coil with a piece on inspirational advice to get your day going and inspire you to live in a more fulfilling way. I've really been enjoying bringing that to you every morning and after a week of testing it, I think I'm going to continue! Below will be a run down of my daily regular content and then below that I'll have a list of each Bless the Mess that I did!

I'll be catching up on my reading this afternoon, I'll be sure to stop by Twitter and catch up on all of your work as well!

xoxo – Ry

✑ Regularly Scheduled Programming

Monday: 3 Ways You're Limiting Your Growth

Tuesday: Coil: You've Protected My Mental Health

Wednesday:

Thursday: What You Wear Does Not...

Friday:

Saturday:

✑ Bless the Mess

Sunday:

Monday:

Tuesday:

Wednesday:

Thursday:

Friday:

Saturday: