I realize that lately I have spent A LOT of time talking about messy action and “just doing it”. Today it kind of hit me though that you have to re-motivate yourself each and every day to “just get 'er done”. You don't wake up one month and decide to do something and then find yourself constantly motivated everyday after. It's a constant struggle and back and forth.

Between that and the fact that I have missed doing something daily to train my brain to motivate myself, I've decided to start a new series:

This will be a on-going project where I post daily with an inspirational quote/screensaver, an insight of my own and sometimes I may include a mini journaling or mind exercise for you!

Bless the Mess will be about caring for yourself daily, getting motivated, remembering your goals and purpose and finding the beauty and blessings, even in the mess. I find when I reflect on my blessings first thing in the morning, my day goes so much better.

And FYI- this series is for everyone- not just creators!

I'll be posting for “Bless the Mess” every morning (US Central Time morning) so that you can kick off your day with something positive! It'll be short and easy to read and some days I may even have a spoken meditation/encouragement so that you can listen on your way to work or during your morning coffee!

Talk to you in the morning!

xoxo – Ry

I believe that the number one frustration that artists face is marketing and advertising. Do you know how frustrating it is to create something beautiful only to realize you have to practically beg your friends, family and strangers to pay attention to it? Extremely.

Obviously building a fan base is possible, but it's hard and it goes way easier when there is support shown for the artist!

Today's article is going to be short and sweet but I do have something that should help you if you have anyone in your life who is an artist/creator, which if you're reading this, you definitely do.

Support 👏🏻 Your 👏🏻 Artist 👏🏻 Friends 👏🏻

How?

First off, we LOVE talking about investing in this space, right? Well what if you could invest and get a share in something far bigger than yourself? Do you realize that you can invest in someone's career by simply supporting them? When you invest into their well being and art, whether monetarily or emotionally, you are “purchasing” a share in their career and helping them to move forward.

Obviously money can be tight and you probably have tons of people in your life/sphere creating. Totally understandable if you cannot buy everyones creations (but you totally should get a $5 Coil subscription to support a bunch of creators in one swoop). I'm not saying that you have to do all five of these things each time you want to support a friend. Rather try and pick 2 or 3 that you can. Whatever you end up doing, I promise your artist/creator friend will very much appreciate your support!

Support your friends today!

xoxo – Ry

p.s. On that note, I don't typically ask for support or advertise my music, but I am trying to surpass 1k followers on Spotify before my next release in February! It would mean the world to me if you'd follow me on Spotify and give my music a listen and add the songs to your playlist if you like them! Thanks 😘

https://open.spotify.com/track/75BFyNcSKX44MBBCIAuKh5?si=eS-2xI3hSNOornepBZPDDQ

Every once in awhile I ride with Dustin into town to work at a coffee shop while he goes to work. We live 40ish minutes from town so we like to ride in together. It's kind of nice because I get to sit here and people watch while I drink my morning coffee.

I find people so interesting. The way they dress, walk, what they drive, even down to how they park. Now before I sound too much like a stalker, I have to note that I happen to be sitting in the window and I can't help but see people.

You can tell so much about a person just by watching them for a bit. How they carry themselves and interact with other people tells you a lot about their personality.

I actually kind of made a shocking discovery this morning that I should've known, but didn't truly realize the extent of how bad it was until today. When you look up in a crowded room, you can practically count one one hand how many people aren't looking at their phones. It's almost startling to make eye contact with someone else because it's in a way, sadly rare that two strangers would be looking up from their phones at the same time.

That doesn't sit with me well. I get that phones are a part of our day to day lives and necessary for directions, weather, communication and entertainment. We are all addicted to our phones and that's not going to change, but how much are we missing?

When was the last time you complimented a stranger on the color of their eyes?

When was the last time you actually witnessed an act of kindness or performed one yourself because you were paying attention to the needs of the people around you?

When was the last time you simply struck up a conversation with a stranger?

I kind of went on a rant yesterday on Instagram and Facebook. For those of you who follow me already, you may have seen it, but I feel the need to share it here as well...

We claim we want to spread love and be love...

Does that apply only when it's convenient?

But does that only apply to the heart button that we can press as we scroll and read?

Does that only apply when someone is begging us to love them?

is showing up, live, in person.

is making sacrifices.

is being kind intentionally, not situationally.

is serving people even when it's inconvenient.

is being present when people are around.

is loving all of the people who are in your space, not just the ones you know.

Put your phone down when you're in line at the coffee shop and striking up a conversation. Or slowing down to hold the door for the person behind you, even if they don't have anything in their hands. This means saying hi to the little kid in the booth behind you at the restaurant when they say hi or tap you on the head.

If you need an example, just watch how little kids interact with people! Say hi, smile, hold a door, give hugs! You never know who is desperately longing for someone to care about them. You can do acts of kindness that go unposted. You can do acts of kindness on the other 364 days of the year that isn't the “pay it forward” day. You can be decent and kind human 365 days a year. We usually turn to paying for meals/coffee as a way to pay it forward, but the reality is that people want more than money. They want human interaction, even if they don't realize it.

As we are a society that is pretty much only focused on what we can get out of something, I will tell you that although showing up for other people is selfless, you will get something out of these interactions. You will learn things. You will make memories. You will probably smile the rest of the day or be touched by the interactions you had. Whether you see it right away or not, being kind and intentional actually does reap rewards for both parties.

I challenge you to show up for the people around you today. Instead of sitting in your car while you pump gas, smile at the person at the next pump over. Ask the person at the counter how their day is going. Put your phone away when you walk in the house from work and be present with your partner and kids. Ask a stranger how their day is going. Be present, let the people around you know that they are seen and be kind.

Have a lovely day!

xoxo – Ry

I'm totally a type A personality- through and through. I don't pay much attention to the enneagram stuff but I am a type 3 with a wing 1 which apparently (according to my enneagram obsessed friends) matches up with the whole type A thing. Personally I think messing with all of the types and enneagrams, although helpful to relate to other people, can be kind of damaging. Sub-consciously a lot of people take these labels and then “box themselves” in. I can't even tell you how many times I've heard “Oh, I can't do that because I'm an enneagram x” or “Sorry, that's just my enneagram x coming out, take it or leave it”. Although I completely agree with embracing yourself and who you are, all of this boxing ourselves in, not taking opportunities because our enneagram “disqualifies us” and such is absolutely ridiculous.

On top of that trend I see so much damage occurring in the way that we infiltrate ourselves with a constant flow of social media influencers preaching that “you don't have to be perfect” but yet always showing up in a state of perfection. Now I do applaud all of you that do show up in the stress and the mess, regardless of how you look or feel or think you will be perceived. But what about those of you who are too afraid to show up because you and your content won't look “the best” or “like everyone else's”? What about you? Are you suppressing your voice for fear of failure or the fear of not being “as” noticed?

Recently I've stumbled upon a lot of people who are scared to step forward. They are scared to raise their voices or show people who they really are. They are one hand, afraid that if they don't show up they will perceived as a loner or not successful enough to share things. But on the other hand, they fear if they do show up that they will be mocked, they won't be good enough or even worse: no one will care about what they have to say.

So let's get one thing straight first:

Plain and simple.

Fear wants you to believe that you will never be good enough.

Fear wants you to believe that your time is better spent on the “practical”.

Fear wants you to believe that your talents aren't special.

Fear wants you to believe that you can never leave the social status of which you were born into.

Fear wants you to believe that you aren't capable of being anything more than “ordinary” (whatever that even means these days).

Fear isolates and it draws you further and further into the shadows and the darkness until you feel completely numb, alone and worthless.

I think for most of us who have actually stepped out of fear, myself included, didn't actually do it because one day we were strong and empowered, rather one day we let a bit of our creativity slip out and someone else shined a light on it. Someone gently pulled it out of the cave and into the sun and they encouraged us. They showed us how the light bounced off of it and how it was a diamond in the rough. Someone else empowered us to take that diamond and show it off. And then someone else encouraged us to polish that diamond and show it off again and to keep polishing it and keep shining it until it became second nature.

Now don't get me wrong, you need to be creating for you and not for other people, because that's where the lines of authenticity and desperation for affirmation can be easily crossed. So do create for yourself, but don't be afraid to show those creations off.

Don't wait until someone sees a glimpse of your beauty and pulls it into the sunlight. Take a leap of faith, because that's the exact opposite of what fear wants you to do and drag it out yourself. Love yourself for what came out of you and enjoy it! Creation was meant to be enjoyed, it goes back to our roots as humans! To create is to simply express a physical manifestation of your soul.

So if that's the case and humans as a whole are messy and imperfect...

Why not show off the work in progress?

Why not grow with and in front of other people so to be an example of what enriching yourself is?

We are all constantly growing and learning and the more we expose that process, the more we open ourselves up to learning from those around us!

Like I said before, I am naturally a type A person, but recently I've learned that my knack for perfectionism doesn't define me. Simply because I have a tendency to not want to release something until it's perfect doesn't mean that I shouldn't. I've managed to talk myself out of a lot of projects in my life that I started and never finished and I regret that big time. I wouldn't release something until it was absolutely perfect and before I even released it or released the second or third, let's say episode for this example, I would get bored or feel like it wasn't as good as someone else's and I'd quit. I'd just plain quit and give up. For some reason I had convinced myself that people didn't want me to show up unless I showed up perfect and finished. I preached that people wanted to see the process, to my own clients, yet I couldn't practice it myself.

2019 was a whirlwind for me and I rarely had time to think before I had to release something. So although I still focus on quality, I learned this last year that sometimes you just have to upload it and move on to the next “episode” or “post” and try to do better the next time. Not only does this actually hook a REAL audience because spoiler alert: we're actually attracted to imperfection because we're all that way, but it lets you get to know your audience along the way. People who are “perfect” in our eyes are intimidating and we don't like to reach out to them. But people who we can relate to and who we feel we can trust, we're always going to engage and interact with them more. We trust them because we feel like they trusted us first with their imperfect creations. It's actually a beautiful relationship that truly flourishes if we allow it to.

In all reality, messy action is scary and I get that. We don't like messy, we like clean, organized, boxy things. We like to have a project all planned out and accounted for. But the greats? They didn't plan it all. They just did it. Some of the best pieces of composition, writing and music all came out of the messy bits. Strong forces of inspiration or sometimes just crappy life drive us to create something incredible very quickly and we get excited and we release it and it does better than we could've ever imagined. Now obviously this isn't the case for every project, but it shows that when you are super passionate, you get super motivated and that touches people differently.

I never would've released the song that I did for Lauren and Harper the other day if I hadn't sat down, wrote it, recorded it, edited it and posted it right then. Did I have other stuff to do? Ya. Was it my best quality recording? No. Did I wish I had changed a few words later? Yes. But did that matter when it helped raise her more support and made her feel seen? Nope. Not one bit. That's messy action in its most beautiful work.

Another example, I never would've started the Merge podcast if I hadn't just started. I came up with the idea and the same day I announced I was going to do it on my blog. I went out and sat in the truck in the freezing cold and recorded it on a phone app because I was in Michigan and I didn't have access to a quiet space in my parents house of 6. Did I deep down want to wait days until I got home and had my office and professional equipment? Yup, I did. But I wouldn't have had the same passion if I had waited. I probably would've talked myself out of it and chickened out if I waited.

With music, I thought my dreams had to go away because my circumstances changed. I had somehow convinced myself that because I wasn't exactly where I said I'd be by a certain time period that I had to give up. Yeah I was working full time to provide for myself and I had to put music on the back burner, so I mentally gave up because I couldn't see past the temporary. But thankfully God used Dustin to prove me wrong and it ended up being better than if I had kept pushing against the resistance to keep doing music at that time. So yes, listen to the resistance and don't push something that isn't ready, because I truly avoided a lot of disappointment and hurt that would've ensued if I had just kept slamming my head against the wall- but timing came around and the door gently opened when it was supposed to. Basically, don't be afraid to walk through that door when it does open, even if everything doesn't feel perfect.

I truly could apply that same example to dozens of projects and steps I've taken in my life; meeting Dustin, getting married quickly, moving 500 miles away, starting my business, starting my Coil blog- it was all messy action. None of it was pretty or perfect but I've worked on it and all of these “projects” (even with my track record of giving up) have continued to succeed because I just started and then I just kept going and working to make it better.

I mean, if you start with “perfect” what's going to motivate you to keep working on it?

So today, just do it. Stop overthinking the process.

That video you've been wanting to make, film it, edit it, release it and get started on your next one.

That blog you've felt your heart aching to write; write it, publish it and get started on your next one.

Don't try to get all of your “ducks in a row” before you start, because then you never will. Just start. Just do it. Messy isn't bad. Messy isn't always beautiful, but messy isn't bad and we are all a mess.

I recently had a friend express to me her inner struggle with her career and goals and I want to share with you what I said because I believe how she was feeling is truly how a lot of people feel. I want you to know that you're not alone in feeling isolated and powerless, but that there is a different way of looking at things.

You're still unstoppable friend, no matter what fear is telling you. Step out today and be unapologetically yourself and share your creations with the world. We need them more than you even realize.

xoxo – Ry