Buying a house is a stressful endeavor, period. It's something that literally no one talks about until you're in the process and the most information you're usually given is along the lines of..

“Oof, I remember that process. That's the most stressed out I've been in my life.”

or

“Have fun with the piles of paperwork.”

Or even better,

“Good luck, they pushed my closing five times, we were supposed to move in March but didn't get into our house until the end of July!”

Oh goodie. Thanks for the advice. Anything you want to share that's ACTUALLY helpful?

To say that the process is stressful is very much an understatement. But I think that one of the biggest reasons that it's stressful is because no one talks about it or educates you whatsoever!

Lenders are busy and at least ours wasn't too keen on answering questions.

Our realtor was amazing but she could only answer so many questions, the financing part isn't her area of expertise!

Timeline wise- it's all a crapshoot and no one explained that one.

And all of the delays and “hold up- wait, now I need this” instances, completely unprepared for those.

I'm not really sure why they don't teach us these things in school. At least in America we aren't educated on things we will actually need to know. How to do your taxes, budget, get a good credit score and prepare to buy a house- completely looked over and forgotten about. It's like they actually WANT us to struggle. It's going to be my mission that before my kids leave the house they know how to do all of the above because clearly the world doesn't care if they know.

Alrighty, so here's the top eight things that I would've LOVED to know before starting this whole process.

All the random fees and expenses will pop up.

When figuring out if you can afford to buy right now, don't just take into account the down payment. You need to take into account the earnest money (good faith deposit), the inspection, the appraisal and any additional closing costs you may need to cover. We actually were able to get closing costs covered in our contract, but we still had extras that we had to pay for once they hit a certain amount. Make sure to get the estimate for closing costs from your lender on the price range of houses you're looking at so that you can be prepared to pay the full amount or just a fraction.

The timeline will drive you crazy.

People will go weeks without responding to your emails. Sometimes you will literally have no idea what is going on. You may have to annoy the crap out of some people with phone calls, but you have to do whatever you have to do to keep things moving. You have a timeline with how long your loan offer is good for and if you don't meet that you have a mess on your hands. Don't panic if you put an offer in on something and then back out, we had to do that after an inspection came back badly, but get right back on the horse immediately.

You need a pre-approval letter BEFORE you search.

That way you can put an offer in on something you love immediately. Especially in the current market where everything is flying off the shelves because of the super low interest rates, you need to be ready to make an offer if you love it. Chances are you'll be up against someone else and you'll need to make that decision asap. If you don't have that letter you'll be tossed aside or your agent won't even submit the offer. Get that letter before you go or you'll be an anxious mess waiting on it. #ishouldknow

Do not get emotionally attached before you have keys.

As I mentioned we put an offer in on a house we both really liked and we started planning in our heads where things would go. It was hard not to picture our Christmas tree up and bringing the baby home. A few days later we had our inspection and it was not good. We were super stressed and loved the house so much we were going to try and figure it out but Dustin's dad ended up coming out to take a look at it and assured us that the neighborhood wasn't safe enough and it was going to be a financial disaster. We hated it, but we backed out and started looking elsewhere. Yes I'm pregnant and hormonal but I cried and Dustin was really disappointed. It felt really crappy having to start from scratch again. Thankfully God knew what he was doing and spared us big time, they ended up taking the house off the market after dropping it another 20k because it was in that rough of shape. Obviously our appraisal wouldn't have gone through and we could've lost our earnest money and we wouldn't have made the deadline for the loan. Plus the lack of safety and losing a lot of money in fixing it up was not ideal. We are amazed at the amazing home we ended up with and the location, it truly is a blessing. That being said, I didn't get my hopes up and even the first few days actually living here, it felt too good to be true. I kept expecting the bank to call us and say “never mind” get out, but I'm starting to settle in and get attached and excited. That being said...

Don't make any big purchases right after you close.

The bank actually takes a few days to finish the transfer of money. Even if you have the keys there are many stories of people losing their houses because they went out and got a huge loan, bought a vehicle, bought new appliances on a credit card or something along those lines, the bank ran their credit one more time and decided not to sign off. The transaction is usually done within two business days so just hold off on buying that new fridge for a week or so until everything is cleared. Thankfully that didn't happen to us but you better believe we were holding our breath until the following week.

Nitpick EVERYTHING.

When you're looking it's easy to get caught up in the pretty countertops and new stove, but look closely. Do you see water damage? Mold? Lots of bugs? A crappy paint job? Half-assed jobs? A dripping faucet? Weird cracks in the walls? How is the natural lighting? Are there pools of water in the grass? Pro tip- go look on a rainy day. It's good to know how the water runs and pools under or around the house. This is obviously what an inspector is for, but those cost money. If you see a ton of problems you can save yourself money by skipping the inspector altogether and moving on to the next candidate.

Get a great inspector.

Our inspector was amazing and he was the reason we didn't end up going with the other house. Find someone who is thorough, honest, has all of the tools and is passionate about their job. A lot of money and time rides on their report so don't be afraid to ask around for recommendations and interview them before booking one. I'm so thankful for ours, he truly did a fantastic job on both houses and gave us a lot of peace of mind because he was honest when it came to what would need to be done in the first house and he had an eye to see how well things had been done in this second house.

The right house is out there for you and you'll know it when you see it. It is. You just have to be patient. We probably looked at a dozen houses but it wasn't until I walked into the one I'm sitting in right now that I knew I was home. Even the first one we put an offer in. Something just felt different about this house. I actually had thought to myself a year ago when I took Dustin's Nanny to a doctor's appointment how terrible it would be to live in this town, jokes on me, so I didn't actually even want to look here. But our realtor sent it to us and we decided to just go and look since we couldn't find anything in the town we wanted and the second I stepped in I knew I was home. I just had a gut feeling. The original refinished hardwood floors, the wood walls and unique stone fireplace- it wrapped me in its arms and said “stay awhile”. To add to that, the whole process with this house was so much easier than it should've been. No one else had put in an offer or was looking at it, the house had been on the market for awhile and yet nothing was wrong with it and they accepted our offer and even covered closing costs immediately. We also got to choose an appraiser which is super rare. We had a few kinks with HR and proving Dustin's income because of their system and his surgery time off, but after that the underwriters didn't ask too many questions beyond the ordinary- although it will still feel like a lot. We even ended up closing eight days before our original paperwork said we would. God orchestrated it beautifully, even when we had very little faith that it would all work out.

So here's what you need to know. This process is hard. It's frustrating and it's stressful and that's normal. But when it's right, it's right and it will work out, even if it's at the last second. So hold your breath, because you don't want to get your hopes up, but know that in the end it will work out in your favor in one way or another. People will tell you it's the worst thing ever and it does suck, but try to at least have a little bit of fun with looking at houses. And unlike everyone says, the closing paperwork really isn't that bad. It's about 15 minutes worth of signatures and then you're done. It's the application paperwork that's a pain, for the record. It also may not get pushed back like everyone says. In our case, it was over a week early which was a huge blessing. We even got our keys a few hours before closing. So don't assume the worst. Don't assume the best either, but be delightfully surprised when things do work out in your favor. If you research and have all of your stuff together, stay on top of your lender and your realtor and you trust the process, it's all going to work out just fine. Just be prepared that there will be twists and turns and they're all normal and a part of the process. And for heavens sake, like I told my sweet husband a million times, STAY OFF GOOGLE. You will literally question how anybody has ever bought a house in the history of the world if you spend too much time reading stories on threads on the internet. I'm serious. Stop it.

Well I hope you found this helpful and I assume if you've made it this far you're probably buying a house, so good luck and try to have fun! Even in the most stressful moments focus on the fact that when it's all done and over with you'll be in your place, sitting on your couch, wondering how you ever got through it all. But you did and you will.

xoxo – Ry