thaison

Hello tutor 1 foot 3, I'm having my daily yogurt so my skin can be silky smooth.

Math in NEU was super hard. So I don't know how would I get out of that one if I didn't drop out. And some people (my mom) feel sad because I didn't have the chance to show my talent to larger groups of people (still according to my mom).

I'm happy doing what I do now. It makes less sense financially. But I'm focusing on what I can do easily. I don't have to work harder for things that are not suitable for me. All my high school nightmares were because I was so anxious back then I was so scared just to think about it.

I wasn't very good at math either. Still better grades than most normal kids, but not as good as I originally hoped. Because, again, I can't remember numbers. But I'm good at logic. So I found a few tricks to work around what I couldn't remember. It worked but I was also slower than everyone else, even the normal kids. I was in constant worry that one day people would find out I was a fraud.

I didn't learn any history, of any country or of any region, at all, at school. Because I don't remember numbers.

Watching the Russian parade to see what I was missing. Because we were supposed to join Young Pioneers from 3rd grade to 9th grade and do the parades every year. You would have to practice every day. After the final parades and artistic performances, you can hang out with other pioneers eating snacks and reading magazines donated from families. Much from my own family, so I just read them again.

But since I joined the gifted program, I didn't have to do any parades or gym because our brains were too superior to do anything other than math. Leaving me weak and helpless physically. And all my classmates were middle-class so the parents just gave a lot of money to build decorative camps and have fun instead. Sometimes I stayed at the camp during the night and walked around in lightless areas to scare people.

Read an awfully long and boring piece of “article” today about autism. I still don't understand it. But I know it's boring and the person who wrote it is definitely obsessive and kind of ugly.

Just throwing every chart you have because you like statistics, without having a clear structure of what kind of arguments you are trying to make, because you probably don't have them, is sure one way NOT to hold anyone's attention.

And for the final, to demonstrate they have some kind of compassionate feelings, they say that we should save the resources for the severe cases because they are suffering more. Which is somewhat the equivalent of the argument “Children in Africa are starving so you can't complain about your electricity out 10 hours per day!”

Hihihi.

So now you know how I got all the viruses on my computer.

We had a regular guy come in and clean up our mess every once in a while. He also updated new flash games for us and installed Photoshop CS2.

Actually you can download a lot of free brushes and pirated Japanese magazines for homemade projects on vk.

Borderlines often hang out in art spaces and brag about how they see people as stereotypes and it works for them. They still don't know they are the ones with the problem of not being able to register a personality more than a collection of their favorite songs.

Anyway, it's one of the places that people won't make fun of their paranoia. “Oh this banana symbolizes the desire to be loved and to be recognized.” “Oh this desaturated color represents ghosts and loss, all at the same time.”

I think of writing, or drawing, designing, even coding, if I know how, each one is a form of communication. And each person will have their preferred ways of doing so.

Since in real life, I like to be straightforward instead of hinting. I consider the act of pretending things are more than what they are, just to make it look more insightful or deep or artistic, is a failure of communication.