Common Decency: An Uncommon Experience
Something that's struck me over the past few weeks, has been the comments I've been reading from thousands of ex-Twitter users who have moved over to Mastodon recently.
Of the people who have joined Mastodon specifically because of the Twitter shake-up, many seem to have been doing a lot of self-reflecting. As every day since October, thousands of ex-Twitter users have been speaking out about their misconceptions of what an acceptable human interaction looks like. Many have been admitting to the Mastodon community, that they had come to believe that being mistreated during conversation was normal. That arguments and bickering, back-and-forth harassment, and openly-displayed hate, had come to be viewed as just a normal part of communication and human socialization.
What's more, many admitted that this general assumption or belief for what an acceptable social interaction looked like, actually bled out into the real world. There have been hundreds of top-rated posts from ex-Twitter users recently, all remarking upon the self-realization that they were painting social interactions with family and strangers, outside of the internet, with the same brush.
The way they spoke about how cracked of a lens they'd come to view genuine social interactions through, reminded me of friends I've known who grew up in very abusive households. Admissions not too dissimilar to: “D'you know, it wasn't until I got older that I realized parents aren't supposed to withhold food from you just because you didn't get an 'A' on your on a test! I know its silly, but I lived a sheltered life. As a child, I never quite questioned it. But now I'm realizing that that's it was wrong. That it was not normal.”
But Mastodon has no algorithms or advertisements – there's nothing pushing what should be said, or pushing people on how to respond. Having realized how refreshing it was that what gave the most positive feedback was being yourself, and talking about things you're impassioned about – something seems to have clicked for them.
It sounds really silly to even type, but: moving to Mastodon caused them to reevaluate not only the way they interact with other people online, but also in the waking world.
This was going on between adults who grew up before social media existed. Some posts were from biochemists, astronomers and doctors who interact with people outside of the internet on a daily basis. How deeply does this affect people who have grown up their entire lives with these platforms in their pocket?
A Catalyst for Paid Companionship
All of this got me thinking...
If people are experiencing this level of distraught or distressing interactions on the regular, so much so that they carry these expected experiences with them, and act them out in the physical world . . . then I wonder what percentage of people feeling such a toxic relationship with social interaction, would be willing to pay to experience common decency with another person?
It wouldn't be too far out of the realm of possibility.
Because the more that I think about it: the customers I've spoken to who've paid for companion services of this sort, all did state a similar goal or acknowledgment . . . in that they weren't fooling themselves that paying for companionship or platonic company was the real thing . . . but that they were looking for genuine decency, common company, in a physical environment that they felt did not offer that.
Many of them were in major cities or hubs around the world which were highly competitive in nature; and often money focused. They often remarked how they felt that “real people” who wanted to take time out to for them was “out of the cards”, or “off the table”, for them as individuals. They often felt their circumstances or outward environment did not permit it.
A purchase made as a momentary respite, from what they felt to be all of reality. Rather than what many think to be a desperate attempt to get anyone to love them, or believe in them earnestly.
And so, I find it curious and equally striking; that so many people moving from Twitter held mirrored experiences to the reasonings possessed by those who have hired companionship in the past.
It gets me thinking that there might be another question I ought to add for both companionship customers and sellers when I interview them:
“How do you feel a normal social interaction is supposed to play out?”