The Need for Another
A Personal Post
Average read time: 2-3 minutes
“Underlying the issue of online parasocial relationships is a global shift in human communication that no one was prepared for. The world has changed so much, but people have not. We still seek out communities, companions and camaraderie – even if its through a screen.
The social opportunities that were once afforded to the previous generations have all but eroded away. Social gatherings, public venues, and face-to-face interactions that were once the foundations of community are rapidly fading away in place of more logistically efficient methods. The people and places of the past are the virtual friends and viewers of today.
Humans themselves are slowly being written out of the equation.”
~ Glink, from The Parasocial Problem with Livestreaming
Companions for Sale
It wasn't long ago that I'd first come across the concept of people “renting themselves out” as purchasable companions online. It was bizarre for sure – but it wasn’t as foreign of a concept to me as perhaps it should have been.
In America, I’d already heard of a website called “RentAFriend.com”: a service where you could hire somebody to accompany you out on the town for a day; or perhaps help you out with daily chores and then have dinner with you afterwards.
In Japan, I knew of “family experience services”: a sizable industry in Japan where you can employ people, (actors essentially), to be stand-ins at your important life events or gatherings. People will pose as ‘the loving family members you don’t have’ at these events; ranging from collage celebrations, birthdays, and even marriage ceremonies. Both of these services appeared to be targeted towards a demographic of individuals who were either single, lacked a cohesive family unit, or were without friends / support group.
Regularly I question why such services would even be necessary for a species who got its start by being so socially advanced. At what point did we clip our wings?
Throughout all of these services, I occasionally think back to an old story of a man who hired a female escort – not for a promiscuous night – but instead to have her simply visit his home and enjoy a pizza and a movie with him. He had just been through a divorce. And while he was married, his wife did not allow him to socialize with others, nor nurture his dwindling friendships. So he was left entirely alone once the marriage ended.
At first, the woman he had hired was understandably a little shocked by his request. But eventually, she gave way to a smile as they'd settled in on opposite ends of the couch, having selected a movie they mutually enjoyed.
The man's situation in that story runs parallel to the situations others find themselves in when purchasing these companion services. They're people who've found themselves locked inside some isolated situation; a compartmentalized lifestyle which doesn't allow them the time or chance to cultivate, initiate, or nurture new friendships; often living in heavily industrialized, corporate-driven areas.
They find their lives are entirely driven by someone else's clock. And as a result of their environment devaluing personal connections, they too begin devaluing genuine connection themselves.
No matter the changes throughout human history, many us still seek out same form of community or respite in each others arms. And yet, at present time, it is so easy for what comes so natural to simply melt out from under us like snowdrift.