You just don't know their story. Yes, even men suffer in silence. Show kindness, show compassion. Show L O V E .

- Sandra Scala

Happy International Men's Day to all you men out there – fathers, husbands, sons, brothers, leaders, mentors – ALL of you!

I am one of those people who believe that both men and women are equal. I believe that both men and women have different roles in today's society; however, it does not mean that any one of them are any less.

I have always admired Temple Grandin's quote:

Different, Not Less

Every man, every woman – is different, but not less.

Today, there is a lot of Women Empowerment, but you see, when I started “The Mind, Untangled.”, I didn't want to be specific with just women. Why? all about

Men out there suffer in silence as well. There are men out there who feel powerless and worthless, and who are scared to share their thoughts. Perhaps they feel that they need to be strong and be the breadwinner; but, the thing is – they too do a hell of a job – whether it's as a single dad, a husband trying to make ends meet for his wife and/or family, or even just someone who is striving to reach their goals in life!

Sometimes, men do fail. And it's OKAY. You fail, you pick right back up. You find someone to talk to. You meditate. You listen to music. WHATEVER IT IS – You push yourself to be the best you can be!!! Because there are people who need you and who do appreciate you.

Damn, life is not easy sometimes, and everyone goes through tough times. Men should be recognized for the hard work they do as well – what they do to provide for their families and friends – to help make this world a better, and safer, place to live – the police services, security, the men who fought and continue to fight for us in the war(s).

Sure, there are men who have chosen (and choose) to do terrible things, but that doesn't mean every man is a bad person. There ARE good men out there who are only trying to do the best they can, just like us women, and they should be recognized not only today – but every day.

I say to all the men in my life – THANK YOU. Thank you for your love, your support, your everything. Just THANK YOU! You are loved, you are appreciated, and I am SO grateful!! ❤️

To all the women out there – take time to appreciate the men you have in your life. Take time to try to understand what they are going through. They have feelings, just like us.

Remember – life isn't about the materialistic “stuff” – it's about the love and hope in life. The pure joys in life. There may not be flowers every day or an “I love you” when you feel like you need it the most. There may be sickness and there may be financial burdens – but there is the support and understanding, when you take the time to communicate and share your thoughts through it all.

Again, Happy International Men's Day! Pause, breathe, and grasp each moment, today!

Coil Subscribers – some pics below ...

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

Believe that you are special and believe that you deserve the same kind of respect, love, and commitment that you give.

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.

- Maya Angelou

A relationship – whether a friend, a spouse, or even a work-relationship – everyone deserves to be treated with the same amount of kindness and compassion given.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.

Show Appreciation.

Show gratitude.

It's the little things in life that make a **BIG** difference! ❤️

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

If you have to beg someone to be in your life, they don't belong there.

- Mandy Hale

You should not have to beg for anything, period. Not for acceptance, not for love, and not for attention!

Here is a poem I wrote ...

Today, I do love you.

As I did, yesterday.

And I will, tomorrow.

In each, every way.

I don’t want, nor I need,

flowers, chocolates, or wine.

They don’t mean a thing to me,

So long as you’re mine.

It’s the look in your eyes.

It’s the touch of your lips.

It’s the way you hold on tight,

your arms wrapped ‘round my hips.

It’s the small things that count,

When you know what to do.

It’s the way our days shift,

So I do not feel blue.

So, thank you, my love.

For being here with me.

With you I feel whole,

loved, safe, and carefree.

- Sandra Scala

If someone truly cares for you – it's a given – no questions asked. They will do the little things that make you happy. They will shower you with love and comfort.

A friend will always be there for you, even through the tough times. You should not have to beg for their friendship. A quote from Sylvester McNutt III:

Remove yourself from people who treat you like your time doesn’t matter, like your feelings are worthless, or like your soul is replaceable.

These types of people will only bring you down and do not deserve you in their life or your time.

Remember, you ARE worth it and deserving! ❤️

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

A friend of mine, Adam, who is also a Blogger here on Coil, asked me in my previous post about my tattoo on my hip. Here, I thought I would share the story I shared on my Facebook Page.

This picture was taken of me a few years ago. Here I am, showing my tattoo of a mama butterfly guiding her three little butterflies – a symbolization of my girls and I.

This here was my first tattoo, and I remember every second of that day getting it! I wanted butterflies (each a different color) because they are beautiful, free, and different.

Every night, I would tell my girls a story about butterflies and how they all came in different shapes, colors, and sizes. And how they are all different. It is exactly how each and every one of us are in this world today. We are ALL different. We ALL have our own stories and different ways of handling situations.

My children bring me joy – and yes, even frustrations – but it's a part of life. It's a part of change. And as long as I guide them through the right path, they will soar and fly as high as they can! ❤️

A quote from Jeffrey Glassberg:

Beautiful and graceful, varied and enchanting, small but approachable, butterflies lead you to the sunny side of life. And everyone deserves a little sunshine.

We ALL deserve sunshine! There may be times of rain, but together, life can be beautiful!!

“Let's untangled our mind, and set it free...”

Yes, this is me in the header picture and in this picture, I am happy. Of course I am happy – I was on vacation with my family at Myrtle Beach about two years ago!

I was roaming through pictures when I stumbled upon this one and I thought to myself – oh my – look at my thighs. It's silly though – actually, it's absurd, right? You're saying, “why would she think that of herself?” I ask myself the same thing sometimes.

Well let me tell you, I really don't dwell on my weight. I have three teenagers who look up to me, and when I hear them say, “ugh I'm fat”, I look at them in horror and say, “seriously?” I joke with them and say – “look at my love handles!!”

I am the one who tries to boost their self-confidence in themselves by assuring them that they are stunningly beautiful, inside AND out! Because they ARE!!

***My three girls ...***

You know what? I really, truly despise the word “fat”. I think that women care too much of what they look like on the outside, rather than focusing what is on the inside. I think that they try to impress and want to look “good” for others.

The thing is, the way society is today – with all of the models posing and the women who tend to share pictures to show that their life is perfect – it sets an image. An image that women should “look” a certain way. I ask, “why?”

Why do we have to go out and buy make-up, pretty dresses and fancy shoes? Why? Who are we trying to impress?

There should be no one to impress but ourselves. We need to learn how to love ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are, not what we look like!!

Why do we have to work out and lose a ton of weight? Just so that we can fit into size zero jeans? For who? For what?

I have been in a spot where I lost too much weight. Stress caused that. I was in size zero clothing. And when I look back on those days, there is no way in hell I would want to go back. I was too skinny and I was unhealthy – I admit it. But in time, I did gain my weight back and started to look healthy again.

I have learned to accept who I am and what I look like. Quite frankly, if you don't like it, then too bad!

I am not saying you have to go overboard and either eat too much or eat too little. Everything in life is about moderation.

Do what makes you feel happy, inside and out, but don't do it for the wrong reasons – and stay strong through it all! Remember ...

“Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder”

For Subscribers – below is a little extra story about ME! I hope those who are dealing with self-love and self-acceptance challenges can take this article and appreciate themselves for just the way they are!

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

You're right. I'm wrong. I'm sorry.

It's that word – **SORRY**.

sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. sorry.

We all say it, and perhaps, some say it more so than others.

Me, I am forever apologizing – and maybe it's my anxious mind trying to untangle the reasons. Maybe it's because I get tired of trying to explain my point of view. Maybe it's because ...

maybe, maybe, maybe ...

Maybe it could be not because I am wrong – but because I understand and I don't want to argue. I understand that when you get into a conversation in which conflict arises, you are forever trying to show the other person your reasons. But what if? What if that person could just take a second to look at it from your point of view instead of having that “peripheral” vision? What if that person could just take a step back, just a step, and realize that maybe perhaps, they have misunderstood and could therefore, be wrong?

**what if? what if? what if?**

What if all it took was simple conversation where acceptance, appreciation, kindness, and gratitude, was all it took? Simple as that? Can it not be that simple, I wonder?

At the end of the day, what is the point of trying to prove your point, if the other person won't even show acknowledgement? And I am not talking only about relationships here but also friendships, work situations, school situations, court proceedings, etc. etc.

I say don't overuse the word “sorry”. Accept the fact that you were incorrect about something, truly apologize, and move on.

There will be arguments – perhaps people won't understand where you are coming from, but it does not mean that you are a bad person. It means that there should be discussion where the issue is discussed in a rational and civil manner.

Apologizing does not always mean you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.

― Mark Matthews

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter who's right or who's wrong. Just be done with it. Figure it out, and be HAPPY! ❤️

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.

- unknown

Yes, indeed, there are going to be times when you just want to throw your hands up in the air and say “forget it!!”

The thing is, sometimes we get so overwhelmed with things in our daily lives, that it tangles our mind – mentally and emotionally...

If you need to give something up because it is not what you thought to be best for you (and/or your family), and you have given it your best shot, then don't worry about it...you don't have to do anything you don't feel is right, especially if it is affecting your mental stability!

Nobody said you HAVE to do it. You make your own decisions – nobody else can do it for you...

But just remember WHY “you held on for so long in the first place”. Remember what your REASON is. THINK before you make any major decisions.

Giving up on something can mean different things, right? So just make sure you look at all your options, and keep pushing forward no matter what! ❤️

* I get a little personal in the subscribers-content section below ... it is me, just opening up some more, in hopes for people to understand more about anxiety, from my point of view...

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

I had a dream one night, and it freaked me out. So much so, that when I woke up I felt tears on my face. My writings below describes the dream I had, but I will tell you this – I researched “Tsunami” and “big waves” that same day...I needed to find out what the meaning behind my dream was.

According to “dream meaning”, a rising tsunami or a tidal wave within a dream represents repressed feelings and emotions. You can see their full meaning by clicking on their link.

Here, I share my writing and video I created, based on that dream, and my emotions.

I felt my heart pounding, as I watched.

I saw a girl with her big brown eyes,

long hair blowing in the wind,

as she stood on the sandy beach.

She saw the massive wave, coming towards her.

Fierce and uncontrollable, just as she felt.

She started to run, but then,

she stopped. Suddenly.

She stood utterly still, and silent, and in awe.

It was as if the wave was warning her.

Making her aware, of her own emotions.

The girl knelt down, on her knees,

tears streaming down her face.

Uncontrollable feelings coming from within,

as she just let it all out.

Her fears, her pain.

Her thoughts, her emotions.

She didn’t care anymore.

It didn’t matter to her what others thought.

She was human. She is human.

She has a right to her own feelings.

She has a right to her own opinions.

She had had enough of hiding. Enough of being scared.

She wasn’t going to let it happen anymore.

No more manipulation. No more intimidation.

No more. No more.

No more secrets. No more lies.

No more. No more.

And as she pulled herself up from the sandy beach,

she gazed at the massive wave.

She held up her hands, palms out,

as if pushing the wave away from her.

She pushed her arms straight, with all of her force,

as she saw the wave slowly calm down.

It was at that moment she began to feel peace within herself.

She took a deep breath in, and slowly exhaled,

as the tears continued to trickle down her face.

It was her life, and her family, she thought to herself.

The choices that they made, is what mattered.

It was their happiness that meant the most to her.

And she wasn’t going to let anyone, or anything,

interfere with that happiness.

It was time for her to move forward.

It was time for her to stand her ground.

It was time for her to believe in herself,

and not allow others to impact her emotions.

To not allow others to control her happiness.

And as I watched the girl, cautiously,

I felt tears on my own cheeks.

It wasn’t until then, that I awoke from my dream,

and I realized that the girl with the big brown eyes,

the long hair blowing in the wind,

was me.

Here is my video on Cinnamon for you to view:

https://www.cinnamon.video/theminduntangled/watch?v=185258396365096771

Remember, it is okay to cry and scream. Do what you need to do to just let it all out! Hang in there, and stay strong. Believe in yourself. Trust in yourself. You are beautiful, inside and out...

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

There is always hope, even after an injury.

Today, I am going to share my story about my accident when I traveled to Italy back in 1997. I apologize now for the quality of the pictures, since they are from A LONG time ago!!

1997 was the year I graduated high school and as a gift, my parents bought my twin sister (Josie) and I tickets to go to Trento, Italy, to visit my “brother”, Andrea.

I call him my brother because back when my real brother Gaetano (Gae) was in highschool, he participated in an Exchange Student Program. Andrea came to live with us here in Canada for three months, and Gae was supposed to go there for three months. However, he never did get the chance to go there because of the Gulf War; so instead, he backpacked Europe with Andrea later on in the years. Throughout all these years, we have remained in close contact with Andrea. My parents have seen him several times, and my mom and Josie even went to his wedding! I wasn't able to go since I had just had my first born.

Back track back to 1997, Josie and I boarded the plane and off we went to visit Andrea and his family for two weeks! We were even going to celebrate our 18th birthday there, before coming back to start College in September!

Andrea had everything planned for us – from spending time with his family, showing us around his area, taking us hiking in the mountains, and jumping off cliffs!

We spent a day out on a motorcycle ride to see this absolutely gorgeous waterfall!

We were in heaven, and it was definitely a memorable time!!

We went to Verona, to see my Aunt the nun, and enjoyed lunch with her in the Convent.

On our last night there before having to fly back home, we were with Andrea and four of his friends. We had planned to camp out at Lake Garda, which is described as the largest lake in Italy situated in the north, about halfway between Brescia and Verona.

We had a beautiful dinner and afterwards, we decided to go for a walk to a club for dancing. I remember Josie and I walking side by side with the group in front of us, and we looked behind us. That's all I remember...the next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital bed.

You see, what had happened was, while we were looking behind us, a man on a motorcycle with a woman, whom was driving impaired, drove onto the sidewalk wiping us out. I later found out that I was in a coma for a couple of days, and that my sister and I were both badly bruised from this accident.

Andrea had called my parents right away, and they were on the first flight over. I had to spend an extra week in the hospital because of my injuries. Our flight home, I remember listening to the song, “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIQn8pab8Vc

At the time of hearing that song, let me tell you – it was perfect timing! It motivated me, and kept my spirits alive!!

When I got home, my mom took me to the hospitals here in Canada to get checked again. I was experiencing bladder problems. Because I was urinating so much, I had to keep up with drinking water. I was dehydrating and we concluded that my pituitary gland was damaged. “The pituitary gland is about the size of a pea and is situated at the base of the brain. It is a part of the endocrine system and its main function is to secrete hormones into the bloodstream. These hormones can affect other organs and glands, especially the thyroid.” (healthline). The pituitary gland is called the master gland.

The doctor said I had Diabetes Insipidus, and because I was going through a lot of changes at the time, I became somewhat depressed. Brain injury and knee surgery, I decided to opt out of College. I was to start Computer Programming, but I could not bring myself to go. I wanted to study hard and I just was not prepared. I became depressed, having to take medication through my mouth and nose every day to control the Diabetes Insipidus. It was a tough road ahead...

This happened for about four months. In the midst of all this, I decided to do some babysitting instead of sitting around at home, sulking. The little girl I babysat kept me busy and happy! In January of 1998, what happened is a miracle according to the doctors. My diabetes insipidus went away! I did not have to take the medication anymore!!!

I continued to babysit, reapplied to school for a different course, and started in April. I was on my way to accomplishing the goals I had set out for myself. Not exactly the same course; BUT, I had a plan!

Since the accident happened, I have had three episodes of where my diabetes insipidus came back. HOWEVER, I went to the hospital, they hooked me up with IV to get hydrated again, and weird as it sounds, it disappeared.

Will it happen again? Perhaps. But I now know what to do.

I share this story because what happened, happened.

At the time, I suffered a lot, my parents were worried sick about me, and believe it or not, I still have a letter from my best friend from when the accident happened, offering her support!

That trip to Italy was one of the most best times of my life! I remember sitting on the bridge with a glass of wine singing, “Time of My Life” from the movie “Dirty Dancing”. I remember laughing and singing and swimming and traveling. I remember all the good times, and it brings smiles to my face!

Sure, it's horrible what happened. It is nobody's fault, except the man who was driving impaired, who – by the way – did not get charged for anything and walked away with a sling for his arm.

But, that's OKAY. At the time it wasn't, but now it is.

And I don't dwell on that! My sister is fine. I am fine.

We are alive, breathing, and we both have families.

We have survived, and are happy. That's what counts!

And as far as Andrea goes, we talk a few times a month! We send pictures to each other, and we even video chat when we can!!

I say life is too short – we need to cherish our moments we have. Try to enjoy as much as we can while we can...because you just never know what can happen...

I did not include every detail about my accident, but hopefully enough for those reading this to realize that there is hope, even after an injury...

For those subscribed to Coil, below is a little extra story ...

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”

A painful truth is always better than a hidden lie.

- Dave Willis

The truth sure hurts sometimes, doesn't it? But you know what? It is the truth.

Here, is a quote by me, and my thoughts...

It can take a long time to build trust. Yet, it can be easily destroyed overnight…

- Sandra Scala

Trusting someone can be hard,
especially when you’ve been hurt,
over and over.

BUT, you know what?

There is hope, and there IS trust!

It just takes time, and patience.

Once the trust is earned, keep it.

Don’t keep secrets. Don’t tell lies.

It can be easily destroyed overnight.

Avoid unnecessary drama.

Avoid the people who bring you down.

This will, in fact, lead to happiness!! ❤️

In any relationship – honesty and communication is so very important!

If you don't “get along” with someone – then tell them instead of misleading them. If you don't agree with the way a situation is – then just say it, instead of hiding the fact that you don't like it.

Why do people hide things? Is it because they don't want to hurt the person they love? Is it because they feel guilty for doing whatever they are doing? Is it unhappiness? What is the real reason behind it all? And if you don't say what you feel, then how is the other person going to know?!

It sucks when you need to repeatedly ask just to get an answer. It sucks because you should never have had to get to that point in the first place! Honesty in any situation happens right from the start!

In any relationship, trust is crucial. Without trust, how can there be a meaningful relationship? A reason any two people are in a relationship is because they love each other and want to spend their life with each other. They want to experience new adventures together and share their hopes and dreams with each other.

The thing is, if you are asking questions to help understand a situation, and they are not coming to you in an honest way...when you have that gut feeling that something just isn't right, then what are you to do and how are you to react? When trust is broken, your first reaction is going to be sadness and anger, all mixed into one big helium balloon about to burst. It's like you are floating – higher and higher – until you just cannot take anymore and so you burst. The explosion sets you off because you never meant for it to get to that point, but it escalated so much – it hurt you so much – to realize that you were taken advantage of and that it even happened. All because of a situation that could have been avoided.

Avoid these situations and open up to the people you care about – the ones you love, and find the reason behind the situation. “You don't know what you don't know”, and it is much more healthy for you to talk about things rather than avoid the conversation. In the heat of the moment – pause, breathe, and remind yourself that you are worthy of love. You deserve to be treated with the same respect and love that you give.

At the end of the day, with honesty, respect, and love – comes a healthy and lasting relationship!

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

- Charles R. Swindoll

So let's be grateful for the people we do have in our life. Let's be grateful for life in itself, because truth be told – good things AND bad things happen.

Sometimes “things” out of our control happens and when we are in those moments. We can either choose to keep dwelling on the hurtful times; or, we can choose to create peace and happiness by acknowledging and recognizing the good times.

By allowing ourselves to accept change and react in ways that better our lives, we learn to keep moving forward, and we are more able and willing to accept what life has to offer – one day at a time.❤️

***Please note that I am no expert and this article is only my opinion.***

“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”