Live for today... view
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
- Helen Keller
This has been sitting in my drafts for a few months now, and I'm sharing this today, for those who need to hear this. And before you get into my article, remember to acknowledge and appreciate the people who have stood by you through your darkest moments in life. You don't have to have 20 friends. You just have to have that one who will be there for you – whether it is your spouse, your family, or your bestie. ❤️
“I sit here, staring at the screen, wondering what to type. There is so much I can say, and want to say...but would it all just be a mumble jumble to those who read it? Would it make sense as I try to untangle my mind, and set it free...? I would be like...
You see, I love to write and share my thoughts. But I love to share videos and act silly too. And truth be told, my videos have enabled me to “hide” behind the smile when I don't feel like smiling. And you know what? That's OK, because every day doesn't have to be “perfect”. We are allowed to have our times when our minds really do get tangled.
My videos have been like a mask for me, when my anxiety has escalated – they hide the fear that I sometimes feel...
But it makes me feel good to be able to express myself in a different way – it makes me laugh - and I know I have also helped others to laugh in their darker moments.
You know, sometimes I worry that what I have to say about past hurt, will only cause more hurt. But then I ask myself, well, if they chose to hurt me, then how am I really hurting them if I'm not sharing their names or personal information? How am I hurting them, if I am only speaking the truth? How am I hurting them, if I am just trying to let things go the way I know how, because they have damaged my ability to trust again? I mean, if it helps me to express my emotions through videos or writing, then why should it matter? I mean, at the end of the day, we need to do what makes us happy, right? And well...
*That word.* That one single word that can mean so much, and can DO so much. The word and emotion that seriously is literally one of the only things I want, and need. One of the things everyone wants and need. TRUST.
You see, I wish I could trust people as easily as I have before. Truth is, that it has been broken over and over and over again. And I honestly can't understand why...what is wrong with people? Or is it me?
Am I that vulnerable that I cannot be told things straight to my face? Am I that naive that people think that they can just walk all over me, and laugh about it, not giving a damn?
Here's the thing...at the end of the day – It hurts me even more. And as much as anyone can say to me to just let it go. To just get over it. Trust me when I say this – I TRY!
The thoughts of betrayal do cross my mind often. I know, I get it, it shouldn't. But is it because sometimes I feel as if I should have taken different steps to make things okay? In my mind? Did I do something wrong? Was it my fault?
But it happened in the past. So why is it still bothering me?
Is it because I was so naive to just let people walk all over me?
Why is it that when I really, really think about some particular things – I feel so much hurt and sadness, and doubt? Seriously Sandy, I tell myself - *STOP!*
And so lately, I have been learning how to avoid those thoughts better. I find that laughing at myself and saying, “It's not your problem” REALLY helps! When I take deep breaths – it REALLY helps! I find that when I do my videos and now, my Cooking Vlog, I *busy* my mind with different thoughts – POSITIVE thoughts!!
When we get in a frame of my mind that makes us feel down or lonely or betrayed, we need to surround ourselves with the ones we love. We need to stay focused, and positive. Try new things, something out of your comfort zone – you may surprise yourself and find that it truly does help!
Everyone knows I have! I have about ten things on the go, and there's still things I want to do! 😅
Is it easy to trust? For some it is, for some it isn't. For some it is a matter of just moving on, and for some, it is a matter of time. Trust takes time. When trust is broken, it takes time, period.
Try your best, take one day at a time. Remember you ARE loved and appreciated for who you are, and the things you do. Don't let your mind tell you otherwise, it tricks us into thinking things we don't want to hear sometimes!!” ❤️
Here's a video for a chuckle...head down after to the Subscriber Section Only for more of my thoughts!
“Let's untangle our mind, and set it free...”