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My childhood was unique. For summer vacations, rather than go to the usual places like California, Florida or nearby Wisconsin, we would pack our pea-green Volvo station wagon to the brim, with just enough room for Mom and Dad in the front, me and my two younger brothers in the back. For eight summers, the journey began from Minneapolis, Minnesota, heading directly North to Winnipeg then taking a left and heading West all the way across Canada to Banff or Jasper National Park, depending on the year. Upon arrival we would either set up camp or stay in youth hostels for our month long vacation in some of the remote areas of the park.

While the three day journey was hellish, imagine three boys, similar ages, eight hours a day in the car for three days, it was worth it once we arrived.

I bring this up for two reasons, one, because one of many fond memories I have was of the Athabasca glacier, a massive sheet of ice spanning six kilometers (3.7 miles).

The first time I saw this sheet of ice I was in awe. It is quite an amazing sight to see in person.

The second and main reason I bring this up is that like a glacier that melts turning to water, so too do our emotions.

When younger I did what I could to keep all my emotions in an iceberg-like state. Like a glacier melting, my emotional life took years to break free and flow. Nowadays always flowing never stopping until my last dying breath.

What do we do to stop the flow? There are many that originate under the umbrella of addiction – drugs, alcohol, gambling, overheating, technology usage, shopping, the list goes on. I would add anything for that we do to distract ourselves from feeling the feelings whatever they may be.

Here’s the rub, while feelings are not facts and people cannot die from feelings, the problem lies in the fact that we give them too much importance. Like the river that flows, feelings come and go, never the same, unless we choose to hold on to them. We hold the pleasant feelings as long as possible and distract ourselves from those feelings that fall under the judgment of not pleasant. Either way holding or distracting dam the flow. We all do it.

I have found a remedy for this – meditation. This is one area I have not spoken much about in my posts. Although I have posted a lot on Buddhism and specifically Zen, which is part of the Soto lineage of Buddhism. I have been practicing this form of meditation for more than 25 years.

I was first introduced to mediation while an actor in Minneapolis and took to it right away. Although I will say that it took a year for me to be able to sit beyond twelve minutes. I had a serious monkey mind that could not be still for any extended period of time.

I persisted and little by little I was able to sit the allotted time of forty minutes. And even reaching a point of attending numerous long-term sesshins or what are extended week long periods of meditation, which is quite intense.

I continue to meditate every morning and even attend a sitting group once a month in my town of Koganei, a suburb of Tokyo at a temple called Choushouji. A wonderful group of people with a very kind monk leading the meditation.

I will not say too much on the benefits of meditation, as there are many. But I will say noticing when we project ourselves into the future or hold on to the past is considered a form of suffering.

Let me put it another way related to you XRP fans – FOMO and FUD are forms of suffering and fall under the heading of “fear.” Fear is a form of suffering. As is the phrase “when moon?” When moon is an implied projection of the future and wanting something. If you are in the present moment none of it matters. It's life on life's terms.

All of this takes us out of the moment causing some form of suffering. One benefit of meditation is that it allows one to notice the suffering and let it go. Before I continue, many people have an image of suffering as one in which it is unbearable and cannot go on. While this is one form of suffering, the more common form is simply unpleasant or unsatisfactory.

Returning to the what I originally wrote about damming up our emotions, meditation also helps us to notice when we are doing it and letting go to keep the flow going.

Let Everything happen to you

Beauty and terror

Just keep going

No feeling is final

-Rainer Maria Rilke

Well that’s it in a nutshell.

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I want to write more so I escaped from my house to a coffee shop to do some reading and writing. I am really enjoying the style of Sedaris’ humor. It is laugh out loud hilarious and yet so simply written about every day life.

Simple everyday observations, let’s try one now. Sitting at the coffee shop reading my book I suddenly hear a low pitched moan resembling a yawn. Looking up I see the “barista” still not sure why they are called something special like that. The image of a barista to me is one with a crisp white button down shirt, black vest and matching black pants. Not a tattooed from head to toe, purple hair colored khaki wearing one. Am I old, yes, passing judgment yes.

If I am going to pay these exorbitant barista prices I expect my barista to be impeccably dressed. On top of that I do not want my barista to yawn. Which is what I heard when I looked up from my book. There she was yawning the biggest yawn allowing me to get a glimpse of what I thought to be her big intestines. I was never good at anatomy so it could have been the small ones.

“Who works in a coffees shop and yawns?“ I thought to myself. Surrounded by coffee, beans and smells I can imagine penetrating every orifice staving off fatigue and certainly a yawn. Well this barista must have had a humdinger of an evening the night before to be yawning midday.

Writing about yawning and the fact that it is midday has just caused me to yawn. I am allowed to yawn being a customer. It is the reason why I am here, to minimize yawning. But I am old and no matter I drink a gallon of the new fangled high octane nitro coffee that is all the rage these days I am both entitled and will yawn. And so I do. But that barista, if I hear one more yawn, I am grabbing one of those survey cards and write a complaint. Looking for one in advance, I notice they don’t have any. Asking the offender of said yawn for a complaint card, I come to learn it is all done online.

I am old and give up as I try and stifle a yawn in front of the barista in hopes that she will learn from a tired old(er) man.

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I had a dream the other morning. It was one of those short dreams one has after putting on the snooze button for another ten minutes of precious sleep when the temperature outside the blankets is near freezing.

Hitting the snooze button I immediately went into a deep sleep and found myself hiking a mountain trail with none other than Bob Dylan. At first it was a group of us. While hiking he was strumming his guitar and singing. As we progressed there were less and less people until it was just Bob and me. Only this time he had slung his guitar over his shoulder and was pushing a mountain bike along the trail and singing.

We came upon a clearing where there were a group of children dressed in flowing muted color clothing. Some were running around on the periphery of a circle. But most were in the middle making a human sculpture stacking themselves on top of one another. I turned to Bob and without thinking judgmentally said, “This looks like a cult.” The moment I said that the look on Bob’s face was one of deep disappointment.

Now disappointing an iconic figure like Bob is not something one wants to experience. The look on his face caused such pain in my heart that I went up to him and without saying a word hugged him hoping that he would reciprocate as a sign of forgiveness.

The flood of emotions on my part was overwhelming. Holding the hug, even tightening it I was hoping for a response, I got nothing. A few moments passed and he released the tension he had been using to hold me back keeping me at a distance. It was then that he hugged me back and I knew in that moment he was in the process of forgiveness. I pulled back to get a look at his face. He was old, that much I could see, and beneath the welled up tears I could see a lifetime of experience. I knew the moment our eyes locked all was forgiven. I returned to the hugging and thought to myself, “My god I am hugging an American icon.” It was then that the ten-minute snooze alarm woke me up from this amazing dream.

I don’t normally remember dreams, but this was so vivid and poignant I had no problem remembering it and ended up sharing the story with my friend over lunch who offered his interpretation, which I will not share with you. I will say that one theme, forgiveness is clear.

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“”

Inspired by a one of our very own CBC members, Moncho who decided to step out of his comfort zone with this one “The Rock Guide” and I might add hit it out of the ballpark. So I thought I would step out just a bit as well and see how it feels.

The story

As is my usual weekday routine, I’m standing on the train while people get on and off at their stops. Without a glance in any direction, I step in and out of the way making room for my fellow commuters. This can be during any hour of the day, but it is during rush hour and packed (like sardines) where I most resemble the greatest boxing champion ever lived, Muhammad Ali, bobbing and weaving letting people pass as they enter and exit the train. The only difference – no knockout punches.

On most occasions I am listening to music, which gives me an excuse to dance to the beat while stepping in and out of the way. I have become so attuned it’s as if I am on a whole other level feeling the moment and adjusting. What I am describing is an experience exclusive to Japan.

I have learned a lot over the many years of living in Japan. Some air on the side of esoteric – this is one such case, literally called ”reading the air,” or in Japanese ”kuki yomeru.” In simple terms it is the ability to read the feeling in the room, train or even outside.

I was trained to do this at an early age and had no idea it would be so useful in Japan. We did not call it reading the air in my childhood days in Minnesota. We called it the “Silent Swedes.” Our family never talked about what was really going on even though there was an emotional truth lingering in the air waiting to be expressed.

Fast forward many decades later, I arrived in Japan with this ability. It wasn’t until after many years in Japan that I realized I had it. Over time, I went on to graduate from air reading to a masters level – accommodating without looking. Accommodating without looking is the ability to read the air and adjust your body position by literally not looking. Think Shiva, but instead of multiple hands, it’s multiple eyes allowing me to know what is coming without ever having to look.

It’s feeling the presence of whatever it is that is closing in on me. It could be a car coming from behind while riding a bike, a bike or car coming from behind while walking, or as I said standing on the train making room for people to pass by. The point is that I am not hearing it, but feeling it and then moving out of the way.

This did not come to me in a flash, rather it crept up on me and suddenly I found myself with this odd ability. I thought, ”What is this gift I have received? What do I do with such power?”

The reality – like any superhero, use it for good. Rather than exploit this power in such a way for selfish gains, I found a useful way to make it part of my life by accommodating others.

Now just imagine the whole country with this ability. To most it is second nature and are unaware they are even doing it. That was perplexing upon first observation. Out for a bike ride, I would come up on a group of people walking that were seemingly blocking my path. Without so much as a sound from me, they would miraculously part like the Red Sea and move out of my way.

This was not limited to just adults, kids did it as well.

Like some Buddhist Koan, I agonized over the question, “What is this power that allows them to see without seeing?”

I was hesitant to ask my wife for fear of thinking that I was crazy.

I gave in and asked her one day over lunch at a nearby by family restaurant. Trying to explain to her what it was that I have observed, “Walking down the street people move out of my way without even looking.” “What is going on?“ With a dumbfounded look she replied, “What are you talking about?” I tried to elaborate and articulate the experience. She finally got it and with exuberance replied, “Oh that! That’s not looking by reading the air.”

Time passed and I continued to perfect this newfound power to a point where it became second nature. I even ended up coining the phrase, “The Art of Accommodating Without Looking.”

Instead of standing my ground (like an American) and letting others move out of the way I vowed to use this as a form of generosity and I move. And continue to do so to this day.

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You know looking to the past and being consciously aware that I am doing that is really living in the present. And because I know I am doing that I have a choice whether to stay in that place or let it go and bring myself to a different place. That is to say, it is okay to linger in the past while living in the present, but so often people linger there for so long and get swept away by the emotional connection to the story using that to define themselves.

This is not a judgment, but an observational fact based on experience. We all do it. The difference is being aware of it in the now so that we do not use it to define who we are, but rather a way to inform us. I look to the past as a way to help pass on what I have learned through experience, in a way so that others may learn. I do not expect that people will get it, but on the other hand they may. I just put it out there in the ether as a way for people to choose to grab on to it or not.

So many people are locked into their stories that it immobilizes them internally like a chunk of psychological concrete. It takes a major life crisis to crack it just a little. Once the crack has opened the light of reality shines through. Getting just a glimpse of that light they realize they want more and go on to make the changes.

There is a reason people use the term foundation when describing one’s life. It is so they can stay in one place. And the reality is that life is insecure and we just never know. In reality there is no foundation, but the stories and emotions we cling to are the mix that makes that psychological concrete. It is not as strong as we like to make it out to be.

Love first blew open my foundation and I have never been the same since. Now I have tried to repair and patch it by holding on to that story, but over time life had other plans and didn’t allow for me to wallow for too long. The other times that blew me wide open had to do with deaths of immediate family members, the birth of my son and of course living in Japan. As difficult as these were to transcend and allow myself to open up, they were all worth it in the end. I would not want it any other way.

It does seem these days that I do not need a Michael Bay-like drama to blow me wide open. It is a choice to be open now. At least that is what it feels like. Sure I know that there will be more loss, success and difficulties that lie ahead. I don’t pretend to be naïve to that fact. I just know that right now I am open to the message and guidance from within being able to access the faculty of creativity and flow at will.

I am honoring this opportunity, as I don’t know how long this will continue. I am grateful for this fruitful period of life and will make the most of it, because in the end this too will change.

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Still on “Deep Dive” hiatus, I am on to another topic close to my heart.

I am grateful when others reach out and I can be there for them. It’s the opportunity to give back in some way, whether it be lending an ear, advice or suggestion from an outside perspective.

I think the timing of when one can be there is only when one’s own life is in order. This affords space to be able to listen, to have a quiet mind in order to hear what the other is saying.

Recently, a friend, who I call a “romanticizer” tends to see the world through a prism of rosiness, doing this in many aspects of his life, despite things falling apart around. A while back he asked that I lend an ear give him some suggestions. I don't assume that my suggestions will have any impact, but I did make a few.

I have learned over time that I only speak on topics that I have experienced. Anything else is what I term “delusion-speak,” talking like an expert on a topic you have never experienced or know very little to nothing about.

I think we all tend to have some through line in our life that tends to be a burden or cross that we have to bare. The key eventually is to recognize the burden(s), and in whatever ways we can transcend it, in order to chart a new path. I also believe as we age, making our mark in the world is not as important as it was when younger. For me, it is no longer the motivating factor in the choices I make. It is simplifying life and choosing a path utilizing life experiences, knowledge and only then giving back in various forms.

Many don’t change, like my friend of yet, who is still going through life one way, and that is okay. But for some there is a calling. To heed the call, as difficult as it may be, is one in which we are asked to change, to give up, to let go in order to give back and help others.

I feel that is my calling, as a teacher, writer, friend and in some ways a mentor. It feels like a very strong pull to do all of this. And they all feed one another both creatively and spiritually.

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Still on hiatus from the Deep Dive Series I am visiting a topic I find interesting and relevant – Reinvention

I really think that if we don’t hold on to and reinforce our I-ness also known as identity, it is far easier to let it all go and reinvent oneself. But if I keep saying the same things over and over in my head then I am at some point just going to believe that this is who I am and unable to make any kind of changes – It is hard to rewire one’s thinking, but possible.

I am at a place in, middle age, where trying to make that happen, reinvention, with meditation, talking, awareness, reading, reflecting, writing and taking risks is at the forefront of my life. Many settle in for the long haul living out the rest of their life comfortably. For me it is the opposite with so many possibilities.

I wake up most mornings with the thought, “Who knows what will be revealed.” I cannot presume to predict the future so living in the moment one day at a time is the next best thing.

But How?

This is how one reinvents oneself, by taking little steps by first becoming aware what needs changing, next is what I call “telling on oneself,” or letting the universe in the form of close friends know my intention of wanting and what to change. And finally taking the necessary actions to make that change.

The change does not come all at once or overnight. It is gradual, because so much of it is connected, everything from thinking, to emotions, attitudes and other unforeseen factors. Sometimes we even have to let go of people in our lives to be able to make that change.

Moving on

Everything is in constant flux and changes over time, whether we want it to or not. However, many hold on for dear life and keep that one narrative going until the day they die without ever knowing freedom, true freedom. It is a gift to have even just a taste of freedom, and one in which I cherish.

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Welcome back. Taking a bit of a break from the Deep Dive series to give you a chance to breath. Today will focus on something different as you can see from the title.

We are all on our own path. One can help others if asked or just go it alone. There is only so much one can do to help others. I cannot change people or force others to ask for help. This is something I have written about on many occasions, and it does not hurt to write about it again as a reminder in this new year.

I cannot change another person. Not even my son, and not my wife. And of course not other people. I may shape how one might approach something, but only if there is willingness on the part of the person.

While we each are walking our own path, we are never really alone.

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Welcome back to another installment of the Deep Dive series. #6 has to do with New Years, specifically New Years in Japan. While celebrated around the world, Japan's way is quite different.

Before diving in I want to wish everyone reading this, whether the COIL team or CBC group or anyone else who has found there way to the burgeoning technology of micro-payments and monetization a happy and prosperous new year.

The Chinese Zodiac

On to the topic at hand – New Years in Japan. Every year in many Asian countries a specific animal is represented for that year and part of what is called the Chinese Zodiac that consists of 12 animals.

For example, 2019 was the year of the pig (Japanese call it the BOAR). The pig represented luck, overall good fortune, wealth, honesty, general prosperity, hard working, a peace-loving, truthful, generous, indulgent, patient, reliable, trusting, sincere, giving, sociable person with a large sense of humor and understanding. That covers a lot of ground if you ask me.

2020 is the year of the rat and is represented as new beginnings. A fitting start to a new decade. And in a different manner suggests that you be flexible and open minded. This will make your life much easier. Good luck and prosperity will follow you in your job. Keep a lookout for opportunities so that you can make the most out of it.

I would add anyone who is a part of the world of crypto and COIL and doing what we are doing is paving the way for our prosperity.

Celebrations

While in many countries around the world Christmas tends to be the more important holiday because of the influence of religion. Christianity is not really part of the culture in Japan and is not celebrated in the same way.

On the other hand, New Years is significant and celebrated, not by watching a ball drop or getting drunk with friends, rather it is a quiet and peaceful time of reflection, looking ahead and spending time with family.

Traditional Foods

Traditional foods are eaten during this time called osechi ryori, which each dish represents a certain meaning and overall meant to welcome the new year. I will not go into detail for each one, but let the photo do the work.

I will add that heads of the house spend hours upon hours preparing each individual dish. While this tradition continues, like many things it is beginning to fade away due to lifestyle changes. Now you can just order the same dishes online and have them delivered.

Shrine Visit

One custom that nearly everyone in Japan takes part in is a visit to the local shrine to give thanks for the previous year and to wish for health and prosperity for the coming year. The visits are done in some shrines during the day and others after midnight when the new year has begun.

The challenge is that because everyone is visiting a shrine, wherever you go it is always crowded with long lines of people waiting to ring the bell and give thanks and their request for the coming year. This is a common sight no matter where you go.

My Japanese Family Traditions

So there you have the basic gist of New Years in Japan. What I would like to do is share with you my wife's family tradition. Much of it is similar to what I explained to you above, but there are some slight differences that I experience every year since moving to Japan.

Let's start with New Years Eve night. My wife, son and I begin at 6:30 pm with a some amazing dishes, as you can see.

We hunker down around the table and eat as we flip between channels watching six plus hours of a crazy comedy show, a singing program and a sports challenge show similar to “American Ninja Warrior.”

The New Year

About the time the shows come to an end, yes, they are all six hour specials, we are hungry yet again. Well even if we are not, it is tradition to have soba (buckwheat noodles) either just before or once the clock strikes midnight. The significance of this is that eating soba, because they can be cut easily, represents the letting go of regrets from the past year.

New Years Day Tradition

I let my nine year old son stay up as late as he wants to. This year it was until 3 am, while I went to bed just after eating the soba, falling asleep as the regrets of 2019 fell away.

The next day, New Years Day, our tradition continues first with a visit to our local onsen (hot springs) to thoroughly clean our bodies and let the heat from the warm water relax and prepare us for the new year.

A very happy new year to you all!

Come on back next time for Deep Dive #7.

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