tokyoliving123

It is really quite extraordinary when a day is just ordinary. What I mean by that is that when you don’t bring any preconceived notions or add any expectation to what the day brings. Being just right in the moment letting it unfold is such a simple way of living and so rich in experience.

The little things in life when life unfolds that way is what makes life’s subtleties so rich. And I don't mean to say that it was a good or bad day or some other adjective to describe it. Rather it was just a day spent doing the things I love to do at such a slow and easy pace. No I didn't necessarily ride my bike slow, but rather just went from doing one thing to another in a deliberate present manner.

Coil'ers read on.

New to COIL, think about joining a community of content creators for the small price of one latte per month. Psst! That's 5 bucks!

So often we fail to make connections in our minds. More often than not people look at things in isolation. This makes one’s life compartmentalized and on some level just a meaningless series of episodes. For a time I lived my life like a bobber on the sea bouncing around from one event to another not making any kind of deeper level connection or meaning.

When you let life move you around it makes it hard to find meaning. It is kind of depressing and I can then understand why people do what they do. After many years of living that way thanks in part to meditation and studying my character in various ways including writing, I have come to a place in which I see a through line to this life. Not that it is something concrete that I hold on to, but rather have a sense of clarity seeing how everything, and I mean everything is connected. I am talking all the way down to the minutiae of life. From the day-to-day choices we make, to the encounters we have, to the thoughts that come and go.

I found myself today in a particularly hyper-active mode when it comes to this connection. It is as if the neurons were firing in such a strong way. It could just be from the fact that I was riding my bike on beautiful early winter day and the joy and freedom I felt.

Anyway, this is a day and like any other it too will pass. The key is not to hold on to it and think, I want this kind of day everyday.

COIL’ers please read on.

Not a “COIL’er” yet? Think about getting a $5.00 subscription, that’s one latte cost per month. You can live without one latte can’t you? If you want to access the rest of this blog and a lot of other great content that’s what it’s going to take. Come on I dare ya!

Trust comes in many forms. There is the trust that things will work out. There is trust in other people. There is trust in one’s ability. There is trust that what I hear or read is true.

I think inherently I lean towards a little on the distrusting side before allowing trust to be the guiding light in a relationship. I am not sure where the initial distrust comes from. Is it from when I was a child? Is it just a normal biological behavior as in meeting another creature on earth and determining whether it is going to either destroy you or help you? There is the other side as well. As in the other person may or may not trust.

COIL'ers who are subscribed read on!

Wait what? Not a COIL subscriber. Really? Why? For the price of one latte a month (five bucks) you can access the rest of this blog and all the other great content on the COIL site. Come on join us already!

Living in solitude. I remember the experience of profound loneliness. At the time I was living in a 10th floor condominium in my hometown of Minneapolis with a beautiful view of one of the famous city lakes. A fully furnished bachelor pad complete with a black leather couch and to top it off a fiery red VW 5-speed Jetta.

On the outside I had it all. On the inside, as I was sitting on my black leather couch one evening many years ago I had an overwhelming feeling, a painful sense of loneliness.

Everything I had done up to that point I tried to escape that feeling, outward material possessions and a well-paying job. Yet this depth of loneliness touched my inner most being. In that moment I had nowhere else to run or hide. It was right then having come to the surface to reveal the reality of my life. I had not spent any amount of time working on myself to face it. But I think on some level I was ready for what would be a transcendent experience.

Unbeknownst to me at the time I would begin working on the inside. Had I knew what was in store in advance I am not sure I would have undertaken such a rigorous through examination of my life. In hindsight, like so many difficult and terrifying experiences it was one of the best things to have ever happened.

You see that realization of loneliness, there would be nobody else to take care of what I need to take care of on the inside. It is a terrifying feeling not knowing what to do with this newfound information. As both powerful and intangible as it was, had this not happened I would not have never begun on the path of a spiritual and creative life. I would never have been willing to take the risks I have taken thus far in life. I would never have been able to be fully comfortable in my skin not giving a damn about what others think.

The feeling of soul crushing loneliness is a necessary catalyst to propel one into the world of the not knowing, the less caring, the ability to live and be in solitude for extended periods of time. This was necessary to lead me to the kind of person I continue to become.

COIL'ers read on.

Not yet subscribed to COIL? Well, why not? For the cost of one latte per month, five bucks you can access the rest of this blog on solitude and a myriad of other great content. Come on go ahead join us.

This is not about doing catching up on something I have procrastinated on, like a work deadline. No. This is about letting my emotions and the story that attaches to it get caught up in my head. Then as if what I have to say is so important I have to put it out there without a care in the world who it may harm or cause suffering.

It is so easy now with SNS to just type out whatever is on your mind, be it an opinion based on emotion and not fact. Often times out of anger and angst at what I think I see out there in the world, which may or may not be true. This is really a disservice to myself and others. We see this a lot in the crypto world.

Start from loving-kindness, from the heart. I know when I get caught up it began in my head, and that is so much a part of my ego and not my heart. It is as if what I have to say is so important and true that it must be said no matter the cost. This has gotten me in trouble on numerous occasions.

I am beginning to notice and feel in advance, those times when people get in my way or not paying attention whether on the train or riding my bike and I feel the annoyance. I am now stopping that and saying I am not special any more than that other person. So it does not go all the way to fruition and expression.

COIL’ers you can read on.

New to COIL, try a subscription for one month. That’s the cost of a latte. You just may find it to be invaluable with access to all kinds of creative and interesting content.

I wrote about this back in October. It is a different time and a lot has happned in the past two months. It is worth revisiting because it feels I am in this place again.

Before going on I want to thank the COIL team for recognizing my Japanese Life series I did a few weeks back. I had a great time doing it and hope others did as well. I am contemplating continuing the series – Japan Life: Deep Dive in which we will go deeper into the Japan culture. Stay tuned.

Now onto Effortless Joy #2

When you are riding the wave of life of acceptance and presence we get to experience what I call effortless joy. That place in the heart where whatever it is you are doing just flows. On the surface it looks like very little effort and inside there is a sense of joy, as in this is exactly where I am meant to be in this moment.

I love the feeling when it happens. It is not often, although I do experience or have moments of it far more these days than in the past. It has a lot to do with presence of mind, heart, preparation, letting go, acceptance and doing what one is meant to be doing.

It is a rare thing indeed to be able to do what one loves to do. I think more people can find that place if they take the time to work at it. It does take work in order to reach that place. In my case, teaching at the university level did not come about without literally having to experience and work my way teaching from elementary school all the way up. Had I not done all of that I would not have known that my heart lies in the university context of teaching.

I am writing a book. Had I not written a screen play while living in NYC many years ago or having done my 3 creative pages that I used to do or keep a diary or write the myriad of research papers for all of the schooling I have had including the masters final paper, I would not have had this drive to write as I do now.

My love of bicycling dates back to the days of my family taking me to see their friends bike race back in the 70s and from that point on wanting to race and compete. And my parents did cycling on a touring level, which I am now just becoming interested in as well.

COIL’ers you can read on.

New to COIL, well you’ll have to subscribe for a small fee, the same as a latte. That’s five bucks a month. Cheap right? I think so.

At this point in my life I have nothing to lose. In the end, you just gotta go for it and not look back or regret anything. Live like you are going to die soon. It is a common saying, but these days I feel like I am living it at times. Just go for it lay it out there and if I get it wrong or part of it, say sorry and let it go. At least it is out there and a dialogue and reflection process has begun.

I have done a lot of work on myself, writing, reflecting, reading, writing, listening, talking and tweaks here and there to create and shape a life that feels right both on the inside and outside. And making mistakes along the way. I do not mean this to be egotistical in anyway.

This is about taking care of the inside and outside first so that I can be of service to others. It is about clearing the wreckage, making room for the pipe wide enough to hear and feel the words.

I want to see the world for what it is, not what I want it to be. I know I will get it wrong. And I know that I need to be right sized about it all. The minute I get bigger things become problematic. I also know I am not perfect and have a lot to learn.

COIL’ers read on!

New to COIL? Think about subscribing for the cost of just one latte a month. Well not the actual cost, but $5.00. You get access to the rest of this blog and a ton of other great stuff! How about it?

What’s your story?

What if it’s just nothing more than something we make up in our mind. What if it all is just experience based on choices that are made based upon past experiences and values? What if life is just a series of experiences, and over time we concoct stories to make sense of it all? When in fact it really isn’t that at all? Or maybe if we do come up with these stories that the key is to hold these stories loosely and allow them to change over time as we age.

When I look back at the various periods in my life, 20s for example I was angry, lost, depressed and sad, so my story tended to be tinged with that kind of feeling. In my 30s, it was really about sorting it out somehow and coming to terms with the reality of being in one’s 30s and an adult and that it’s time to get my shit together or in a way really go for it and take risks, which I did. 40s the story tended to be more about marriage, finding my way finally and facing all the crap I pushed down in my earlier life which were also connected to those stories. And my 50s well, damn throw anything at me life I am willing to take it on an deal with it.

This is more or less a high level description to highlight the point that stories change over time. And right now I do not want to hold on to a story as I age. I would rather wear life like a loose garment.

I hear people are wedded to their stories all the time. The angry teacher I work with on Fridays who basically finds things to rail against so as to keep the anger fresh in his mind is one such example.

COIL Subscribers read on.

New here are you? Welcome to COIL. For the price of a latte per month you can access the rest of this blog and a myriad of wonderfully creative content.