Mom Life of 6

Y si yo soy la mala de esta historia por que me canse de ser la buena......

Por que por mucho tiempo fui la buena, la que hacia excusas por ti sin que tu me las dieras. Fui yo quien te perdono varias veces sin que pidieras perdon. Fui yo quien te deje que me trataras como una opcion, por permitir todo lo que hacias.

Fui yo quien acepto ser una mas del monton deseando ser la unica. No me valore yo misma al dejarte tratarme asi.

Y si me parte el corazon perderte pero si no te pierdo a ti hoy, me pierdo yo para siempre.

Y si al perderte pierdo esos momentos bonitos, pero yo queria tu amor para siempre no en ratitos. Si tal vez pierda eso abrazos pero queria que me sostuveras para siempre. Y si tal vez pierdo noches de pasion pero yo queria noches de amor.

And from every person that has been in my life I've learned.

He taught me that I had to learn to be alone and be happy alone before I could be happy with anyone.

He taught me not to settle and be with someone, just to not be alone.

He taught me how much I enjoy a good conversation, and even when it was not important for me it was, because it was important to him. His happiness was mine.

He made me see a side of me I never knew existed, that person that could be sweet was in me this whole time and it took him to bring it out.

Now if one could teach me that LOVE does exist and last for ever.....

Y deja que pase el tiempo que el es el mejor aleado del olvido

Cuando apenas habia aprendido a estar sola , llegaste tu sin que te buscara, y sin saber que te necesitaba.

Y de un de repente se derumbo mi mundo al perderte por que me perdi yo.

Aun puedo sentir en mi corazon tus abrazos aunque fisicamente no puedo recordar ya las caricias de tus manos ni el olor de tu piel.

No es la piel la que tiene memoria..... es el corazon.

Quise poner en palpel lo que mi corazon tanto siente y solo encontre un vacio enorme, que dejates dentro de mi al alejarte.

Quede Entumecida, al no poder sentir nada..... Mi corazon ya cansado de tanto sufriemiento quedo sin poder sentir nada.

Mis ojos cansados de tanto llorar ya no pueden deramar una lagrima mas. Me quede en empty.

Quede vacia por dentro, sin poder enterder por que amar a una persona que no me pudo amar. Tal vez no fue el momento y nos encontramos en etapas de nuesteras vidad differentes. Pero duele por que yo queria que fueras tu. Queria que fueras la primera sonrisa que mirara al despertar. Queria que fueras tu esa persona que estuviera en mi vida para siempre.

Quise odiarte hasta mas no poder, pero la maldad no me nace y solo pude decearte el bien, solo me quedo pedirle a dios que te cuide siempre.

And from not wanting to want you....... you became everything I ever wanted

And somehow again Im left empty again. Maybe I was not meant to have love or be loved, it sure feels like it. Everytime I give my love I end up loving more than I am loved and end up more broken.

As Morgan Wallen one said “Looks like I'm learnin' the hard way again It's all my fault, Yeah, I dropped the ball”

A friend once said we are overthinkers and we expect the worse so when it happens we are not as surprised because we already played it out in out heads.

But even after all that happened all I wanted was you. I wanted you for the person you were, the battles you got over and for all the future I saw in you. For a future where we were in each others lifes. I wanted the good the bad and the ugly. I wanted everything because I wanted you to be my person. Everything was worth it if it was with you.

Then reality hit and just like that life has shown me that we are not meant for each other

I was at a point where i did not want anyone to enter my life again. I had given my all and ended up with nothing. I had given my time, my energy and my love. I was left empty inside.

He came out of nowhere, and got me at my flight. Yeah, at my flight! if i start to feel anything flight is my response. Because i've been here before and ended up broken and empty.

I don't want to start from zero. I do not want to feel the need to need you. I don't want to smile when i think about you. I don't want to imagine a future with you in it.

I don't want to get a good morning text, I don't want a good night text.

And for an instant time stood still while my brain tried to process all the feelings my heart was feeling. All the what ifs, all the countless of possibilities of all the possible outcomes. In all only the worst possible outcomes were the results. Because if you expect the worst you are not let down right? You don’t end up broken once again, because it was never meant to work out.

“Because if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit, he genuinely doesn’t give a shit, no exceptions “

I’v seen this movie countless of time, here lately it’s been my life. The difference is now loosing people is something I’m used to. I don’t expect people to stay in my life, because if they wanted to their actions would prove it. If you actions don’t match your words “ it is what it is” Maybe they are just a lesson in life. I hear people talk about people coming in to our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and maybe you were just a reason a lesson to be learned.

You brought things into my life in such a short time that I am thankful for. You helped me see things in me and things in other people and for that I am grateful. I learned the value I have and that I deserve so much more that you had to offer. I believe I care too much and love too hard and I can’t change that part of me. I realize that I lost someone who doesn’t care for me and doesn’t love me, but you just lost someone who genuinely cared for you and would’ve done the best to make you happy, so in the end I didn’t loose.

I'm begining to think the type of love I search for, is indeed extinct........

Maybe it's just me, but I believe in a type of love that is rare. I believe in a love that is pure.

Imagine finding the perfect person for you, no not the perfect person, but one that is perfect for you.

The one person who is willing to stay, through the easy and through the hard parts of life. The one person who is willing to try. The one person who will accept you with all your flaws and insecurities. That person that is gonna hype you up to help you achive your goals , help make your dreams come true. So I guess your ride or die.

The person that can tell your mood, and know weather you need a hug, a laugh or to be left alone. They will know the importance of knowing your favorite color, your favorite food, your favorite song. Someone whot will get to know the real you.

I want someone who will take me at my best but also at my worse. Someone who is willing to fight for me even when I don't think I'm worth fighting for. I want someone who will not give up on me even when I want to give up on myself. Someone who is willing to fix what needs to be fixed.

In return I offer my unconditional LOVE, I want to know the real you, the good, the bad and the ugly. I want to know where you come from and where you want to go. I want to know what made you the person you are today and who you want to become. I want to know your goals, your ambitions, your dreams and help you achive them.

I want you to trust me, and know that I will be here when you need me the most, and even when you don't.

I want to Love you everyday for the rest of my life.