Putting all my words here for safekeeping. My name is Tara. Non-binary, anarchist, life-giver, learning how to be a person.
In the mornings in that moment of waking before the world becomes real I would be filled with a feeling like a delicious secret settled in my bones and I'd think, it must have lost its way from a dream and I'd wait for it to flee as consciousness revealed its mistake
But I would wake and it would wake with me and it was real and I was real
For seven days I heard a voice in my head say, “you don't have to be a woman” louder and louder until it had cleared away all the thoughts from my brain until I hear it echoing deafening off the bedroom walls until I could only answer in reply yes yes! YES! until it covered me with joy and my heart turned inside out and all the parts of me found their way home
Rejoicing in rain blue skies heaven sent hopeful souls dance for a moment, reborn
But what souls still cry for shelter from the storm? what souls have left us to mourn?
Cloak yourself in faith, my dear steel your heart with joy we know not what the future brings but it will find us here
Sweep away the ashes, child make an altar for the bones what horrors careless men have wrought are finally coming home
Soften your heart to the pain, child find solace in new songs let fires burn away the past but never forget its wrongs
We harvest our grief under ashen skies sun hidden from our eyes hearts choked with fear grasping hands worn rough with hope
We hold each other close
We pray to the fire to take a rest to return our song-filled breath to find its peace with what's been done and let our souls burn in its stead
Did you ever imagine in all the things that could go wrong that nature itself would turn your air into poison?
The factories can be stopped the cars can be turned off but the fire will just burn until it is full the wind will just blow as it pleases and there is no where else to go
I heard that you have planted a victory garden My own garden has withered this year, so I was pleased to know you have had better luck, and have taken up your spade for the revolution. I am curious to hear of your results Have your eggplants filled bellies in need? Have your sweet peas torn down any prison walls? Have your tomatoes brought respite to the weary hearts of the oppressed? I forgot to plant my own this year. Ok, I know you just ate them for dinner, and I started this poem in a pique, but the truth is I hope someday you do find your way
These moments that overcome us these crashing waves of fear and rage let them tear away the weights that drag us down So we can rise up! and breathe
These moments that overcome us these churning waters of despair let them toss our weary bodies together So we can find the ones who’ll hold us dear
These moments that overcome us these salty gales of shame let them whip the blinders from our eyes So we can see the truth of all there is
These moments that overcome us these rising tides of doubt let them wash away the stain of other people's words So we can know just who we are
These moments that overcome us this dragging undertow of grief let it teach us to swim this bitter sea So we can lead the way to shore