Adults In the Room

Yesterday, I pulled 17 ideas out of thin air on how individuals can tackle climate change without picketing, whining, bitching, joining “activist” groups, or flying to f'n Pittsburgh. [1]

I mentioned I have hundreds more, and I do. Today when I was working I thought of at least ten. I'll tell you all about them, one essay at a time, since I know you internetters have no attention span and the thought of reading another three-thousand-word essay will make you run away. This is not how we realistically solve climate change, I realize.

Today we're going to talk about food again. When it comes to burning fossil fuels, food is one of the biggest bitches of them all. (No sources, look it up.)

Idea 18: Start a Neighborhood Dining Club

Most people I've met who incessantly bitch about climate change live in neighborhoods, near other people. Yesterday I presented ideas on how to get food. Today we'll address the preparation of responsibly-sourced food.

Cooking food uses energy, because heat is nothing but energy. Energy has to come from somewhere.

Whether this energy comes from burning wood, burning coal, burning propane, or burning dirty underwear, it releases shit into the atmosphere.

The only cooking method I can think of with zero green house gas emissions is cooking via solar oven. Google that shit sometime, it's really cool.

If you are not cooking with a solar oven (or magic) chances are you are burning something. Even if you cook with electricity, you are burning something. (Nuclear power excepted, but man is that shit nasty.)

If you are going to power up an oven, grill, fire or whatever, you can cut down on emissions by cooking a lot of food for a lot of people at the same time.

Fact Check: (I will put these disclaimers in when I'm not 100% sure something I say is true. I'm speaking from opinion and what I know about the world, so if I say something I think needs more research on your part, I'll preface it with this phrase.) I'm sure there are some physicists out there who will take me to the cleaners on this idea. After all, energy and the stuff it effects is all math-based. Basically, to heat up a small amount of food requires a small amount of energy. To heat up a large amount of food takes more. It's all math.

But what I'm saying here is: I assume it is less energy efficient for 10 people to run 10 grills, than it is for one person to run one grill and cook for 10 people at the same time.

Just thinking out loud, bear with me. If I fire up my grill to cook chicken for two people, and my nine neighbors do the same, are we better off if we all put our chicken on my grill? Do we save energy this way?

I have no idea the real answer to this question. I'd have to ask a scientist.

If you're a scientist and you'd like to 'splain this to us, please write a post here and publish to read.write.as . I read them all.

Until an actual scientist chimes in I'll assume chickens on grills works like bodies on buses. The more bodies inside, the more energy-efficient it becomes.

Take a Turn

So here's the deal. You get together with six neighbors. Each agrees to cook for everyone one night per week. That means instead of cooking seven nights per week, you only have to cook once, shop once, and clean up once.

Chances are the cost would work out to about the same. You buy food for seven once, instead of buying food for one seven times. Maybe there would even be less waste? Maybe everyone could take home leftovers for lunch the next day? I don't know, it's just an idea.

Plus, you'd get other benefits.

You'd be able to get to know your neighbors better. You'd be able to break bread with others, just like humans have done for millions of years. Maybe you could solve a few problems while you're breaking bread, or talk about cats, or whatever.

Think your neighbors are dicks? Well, I don't know what to tell you. Y'all better kiss and make up now cause this issue is much bigger than your squabbles. Take one for the global team. We salute you!

Would your community be stronger as a result? Would you collectively use less energy as a result? Would everyone save time? Would tackling climate change become a little easier for you? Would you save a crap ton of miles burning fuel to go to the grocery store or, better yet, farmers market? Would you and your neighbors have to become better cooks to avoid pissing each other off? Is becoming a better cook important to you? (I hear chicks love a dude who can cook.) Would you better enjoy the company of physical humans rather than screens? Would it be more fun to gather around a fire outside rather than being alone in your house?

If you answered “yes”, I bet you're not alone. I bet your neighbors feel the same way.

[1] https://write.as/adults-in-the-room/if-you-really-care-about-climate-change