I went to your wedding yesterday & I saw alot of love. There were so many people that attended & the vibrations were high. Please forgive me for not actually having a one-on -one conversation with you both but there was so much going on & it was important for me to allow you to go crazy & celebrate the happiest day of your life. Sometimes joy is so infectious when you see it & feel it so I figured I'd let you go infect others with it so it spreads throughout the whole party center. I guess it did because I saw tons of smiles.
It's interesting because there are not many moments you can capture pure love in its raw form but a wedding reception might just possibly be the lightning rod to do it. We are all searching for that & I hope you truly found it in each other. When it's pure, it's the most divine feeling you can feel.
There will never be a day like the one you had last night so I hope you treasure it & hold it in your memories together. Reality has a way of dulling that initial day you became one with each other. It will slowly set in & things will become kind of boring day-to-day. But don't let that fool you into thinking there's no more love there anymore.
There really is...
You will just have to look a little deeper in the small gestures or the nuances of each other's faces from time to time.
Don't let it slip away. Don't ever take it for granted.
It's amazing how much we have all been through in life as individuals. Everyone has been through their own silent anguishes, their own silent wars, their own personal life lessons. It's also amazing how we can hold it all in & never speak up about them because we think others wouldn't understand. I think I'm past that now. I truly think I'm past that now. It's tiring to suppress my sorrow. It's tiring to uplift others around me & constantly feel short because I don't feel uplifted back. It's tiring...
So I'm journaling.
I'm journaling because I need to move on & heal. Maybe I'll heal faster because I'll finally put those words on a page & then SWOOSH! Healed! Done!
It's a quietly simple process but it will do wonders because I have never been comfortable with social media. Every time I have ever posted anything publicly, whether Facebook or the writing platform Medium, I've had to deal with “friends” or “followers”. That has always been an uncomfortable feeling. Always.
Truth is, in real life I don't have many friends. Also, the word “followers” makes me feel like some false leader who is on a pulpit preaching to my apostles. THAT is definitely an uncomfortable feeling! Leave that responsibility to Jesus or Buddha. Pure & simple, I'm just here to journal. Purifying my thoughts. Releasing them into the ethers so I can move on. Move on from all the pain I've had to carry all these years. Move on from all the heavy baggage. Move on from feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Move on to feel lighter & more carefree & less dense.