I had been captured. Hands tied behind me, evil scheme in ruins at my feet. The good side had well and truly won. “There's one thing I don't understand, in all of this,” Heroman said, as he checked the knots were secure. “Which is?” I replied. “All of this, the elaborate plans, the scheming, the stolen top-secret technology. All so you could teleport into the house of anyone who posts anything on the internet? Why? What was it all for?” “In my coat, over there” – I nod to the corner of the room – “is my phone. Turn it on. Then you'll see.” Heroman scanned my coat with his X-ray vision and, sensing no threat but still wary, did as I asked. “It's a husky,” he said, confused. “The flomp ears! The soft, soft fur! That smile! They're perfect, but this husky lives on the other side of the world!” Heroman still looked bewildered. “Don't you understand?” I could feel an evil laugh bubbling up inside me. “I want to pet them! I want to pet them all!”
She looks at your dinner and back up at you And you look into her beautiful, sad eyes and want to give her everything. All the food on your plate, all the toys in the house Everything you own and still you know she deserves more. Soon you're wondering how to pluck a star from the sky and wrap it up with a ribbon Just to see, as she plays with it, the way her eyes light up.
I wrote this for Casper Kerrivan while worrying about his dog Cinder. She had a health scare but she’s okay now!
Refresh Looks like he's having a good race. The screen says they're travelling at a steady pace. But – what's that? He's going off the trail!
Refresh As other mushers pass the spot, I slowly become aware The line on the map's in the wrong place. The actual path's elsewhere! That's the explanation, right? They can't all fail…?
Refresh A little bit later tracker and map reconnect. I take a moment to relax while everything looks perfect. I expect dogs and musher are having a great time.
Refresh Why hasn't it moved? What's wrong with the tracker? I need to know what's going on! Tell me – what's the matter? Deep breath. It's only been five minutes. I'm sure he's fine.
Refresh It's been a while. The dogs are probably asleep on straw. While the musher gets food, they're curled up in balls. My mind strays to possible dangers. My eyes stay glued to the screen.
Refresh Maybe he's trapped somewhere, alone and scared? Maybe he's been eaten by bears?! Please tell me this isn't a repeat of the Cabin Kerfuffle of 2019!
Refresh Maybe they're buried somewhere in the snow? I should have gone to bed an hour ago. Please, tracker, please update the page!
Refresh The tracker's moved! There's been an update! The musher and the dogs are safe! And I can finally get to sleep now my fears are assuaged.
… Refresh
This poem was written during the Willow 300. It’s about my experiences following sled dog races with the Ugly Dogs, as well as being a call out to the more easily panicked among us (including me!)
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, I highly recommend following Blair Braverman and Quince Mountain on Twitter for excellent dog photos and an awesome community.
