champagnekiss

Mau Sampai Kapan Begini?

Tidak lama menunggu, seperti katanya lima belas menit, tepat lima belas menit Lumine menunggu Dainsleif sudah di luar toko datang menjemput Lumine dengan motornya.

“Dain, makasih udah mau jemput ya” Ucap Lumine ketika menaiki motor Dain dan hanya dijawab pelan “Iya” oleh Dain sebelum mereka pergi meninggalkan toko tersebut.

Daridulu selalu seperti ini, tidak ada perubahan diantara mereka. Dain yang selalu siap menemani dan menjemput Lumine dimana saja, serta Lumine yang selalu dituruti permintaanya, apapun yang diinginkan Lumine jika Dain bisa mengabulkannya maka akan ia kabulkan tanpa perlu balasan apapun. Tidak ada status, tidak ada yang mengikat mereka berdua, hanya saja dari dulu hingga kini selalu seperti ini.

Lumine frustasi, sudah berapa lama mereka begini? Awalnya tidak apa-apa pikirnya untuk memiliki hubungan seperti ini, namun semakin lama ia semakin sebal jika memikirkannya. Bukannya Lumine tidak mempercayai Dain, Lumine tahu bagaimana Dain mematuhi perkataannya seakan ia adalah ratu dan Dain adalah ksatria yang berjanji menyerahkan hidup dan matinya di tangan sang ratu. Mereka sudah bersama sejak kecil, hal itu juga yang membuat Lumine semakin khawatir. Apakah bentuk dari perhatian ini some kind of familial love, atau memang lebih seperti yang diharapkannya?

Lumine pun tidak sabar dan memecah keheningan di perjalanan mereka. “Dain, nanti pesta ulang tahun Kak Diluc kamu datang?” “Sepertinya tidak, terlalu ramai” Jawab Dain sekenanya “Aku diajak Ajax datang ke pesta barengan, menurutmu gimana?” Pancing Lumine berharap suatu reaksi negatif atau ajakan untuk menolak akan keluar dari mulut Dain. “Kalau itu yang kamu inginkan ya tidak apa-apa” Balas Dain tenang seperti biasanya tanpa ada perubahan intonasi.

Di saat itu juga hati Lumine hancur berkeping-keping ternyata dia memang bukan lebih dari sekadar 'adik' untuk Dain. Tersulut amarah, Lumine tanpa pikir panjang langsung memberi Dainsleif jawaban. “Ok, aku nanti pergi sama Ajax. Terserah kamu mau datang atau tidak” Tidak ada jawaban yang terutar dari mulut Dain. Lagi-lagi mengecewakan untuk Lumine yang kembali larut dalam perasaannya.

Terlalu tenggelam dalam pikiran dan perasaannya, Lumine tidak sadar bahwa mereka sudah sampai di depan rumahnya. “Lumine turun, kita sudah sampai di depan rumahmu” Ucap Dain lembut yang membuat Lumine tersadar. “Terimakasih” Jawab Lumine setelah turun seperti biasa. Hari ini pun lagi-lagi tidak ada perubahan yang signifikan antara hubungan Dainsleif dan Lumine.

just so you know, if i had the choice i wouldn't let you go

New York, 1950

Busy streets, people passing by non-stop on the streets of New York. It's just 5 years after the war ended, yet it already feels like the war never happened. Well at least in New York.

“Ymir, ymir?” a small voice snapped Ymir back to reality. Her heart almost feel like it was goinh to stop in that moment. “His- historia?” is this Heaven or is this hell trying to torture her with her only weakness, the girl she loved. “Yeah, Ymir? Why did you sound so startled?” Historia chuckled at this sight of confused Ymir. It's rare to see her like this.

“But didn't I-” her words got cut off by Historia yelp, “Ah, what we are doing dwedling like this?! C'mon Ymir let's hurry up we can't afford to be late!” Historia then grabbed Ymir's hand trying to move among this busy crowds on New York street. “Why are you in such a hurry and where are we going?” “Don't tell me you forget about it? We can't be late, what if we missed our song again like last time?” Historia pouted but still she never let Ymir's hand drop while still trying to navigate their way through this mob of people.

After running for a while they arrived at their destination. Historia got in while Ymir following her from behind, a little bit wary of her surroundings. Ymir furrowed her eyebrows, is Historia sure they already visited this place countless of times? Because she couldn't remember anyting about this place.

“What are you thinking about so seriously Ymir? C'mon, let us go to the dance floor” And once again Historia grabbed her hands, not that she would complain though. If she was allowed to wish, she would wish for this hands to never drop hers for eternity.

It feels weird when she was dancing with Historia, it was like her body remembered all of the moves. It moved in sync with Historia's even though Ymir never remembered learning these kind of things. But what the hell? Why should she thought about this when all she ever wanted was right in front of her, Historia smiling happily freeier with nothing holding her back. It was all she ever wanted right? Maybe she should stopped thinking about it too hard, maybe this was a sign that she could start over, they could start over. Maybe this time they would lead a happy life.

The music changed, came on the romantic slow song. God, if she could she would barf right now. The intimacy, Historia's face resting on her chest, the warmness of Historia's body, if someone told her this was Heaven Ymir would believe it. While Ymir's face was heating up like a tomato, her eyes met with Historia's who was gazing up to her tenderly. Maybe, if she asked her this time it would be a success. They could get married and start a new life. Worth a shot right?

Ymir took a big gulp, how long has it been since she was this nervous? “Historia Reiss” Said Ymir nervously which in turn replied by Historia “Yes, Ymir?” Oh God, here comes the big question. Ymir didn't believe in those stuff but whatever being who resided on the sky please let the answed be a yes. “Will you marry me?” There, she said it! Historia's tip of lips slowly rising up to form a smile. Is it a yes? Then could they-

With a slam, all of those things shattered. Ah yes, she should has stoppes this habit of hers. What was she thinking to let her be deluded with her own fantasy? Pathetic, she thought. She lifted up her head, meeting her eyes with Porco Galliard own eyes. Her death had came to pick her up it seemed.

“without any of them dissapearing, we will shine”

someone's pov

today is november 17th, looks like a whirlwind of nostalgia is about to come up again huh? every 17th of november come around, i can't help but to think about those days in the past. i can't help but to think about him, the one and only miyuki kazuya.

back those years ago, we started off sharing the same dream. 'to be the top of the world!' we said, how naive we were. but that dream was pure, untainted with the world prespective. those small childish laughs filling our surroundings back then, if i listen closely now maybe i can hear it. that laugh is imprinted in my memory along with the drowned sunset view of that day

miyuki was fun, if he wasn't here i wouldn't know how to have fun without him. loneliness is what i feel when he isn't around, even until now. which is why, this day always bring back those memories. always at this time of the year, i can't help but looking at the things he left behind.

my hands begin to open our highschool album, that album is filled with our picture. of course i was the one who took them with miyuki outdated phone and all. i can't help but smiling pathetichally when i saw how happy we were at the start of our highschool days.

we thought we were going to chase the same goals, but at the end? we ended up drifting, our goals began to differ around that time. but still, kazuya even if he couldn't grew out his snarkiness and sarcastic mouth he was someone that has the after the rain smile, calming and relaxing you in an instant.

which make nowadays sucks, i can't see kazuya as much as i like now with our differing goals and his business as a pro player. but i'm sure even if the season changings and time moves forward, me and kazuya at the end are still those children back in the past, right...?

honestly i don't know anymore. the world always moves around, time changes, people change too. and what if kazuya changes? and started to forget me? after all we've been drifted so far apart. you know, i lied when i said i can't see kazuya as much as i like, in fact i haven't seen him in years after we graduated high school. he never kept his promise to stay in touch.

i was honestly dissapointed. but i have to accept, people do change, kazuya too gone through those changes. i'm the one who stuck in the past, i'm the one who need to move on from him. even if this love doesn't resonate with him, some day in the future i wish i could kazuya once again.

somewhere in the future where we are already reached our goals, meeting one another with smiles brought other splendid people who are going to be the one who spend eternity with us if it's not us together though. guess this silly crush of mine haven't dissapeared yet huh? what can you say? kazuya is attractive as hell, but someday i will get over it. the day i'm meeting again with him i know i will get over him, though the love will stay the same, it will always be there. and even if at that point kazuya is already changed, i don't care because it's still the same kazuya i knew back then, he's still the same person just developed.

with this, i'm ending this diary entry. this is the last time i'm going to write on this diary dedicated to you kazuya. happy birthday miyuki kazuya, may all your hope and dreams be granted! looking forward to future meeting with you (hopefully) when we crossed paths in our own journey towards our dreams because i believe in us kazuya. on this day i'm finally letting you go, i finally believe that without clinging to our past memories scared of them dissapearing, we still will shine.

“without any of them dissapearing, we will shine”

someone's pov

today is november 17th, looks like a whirlwind of nostalgia is about to come up again huh? every 17th of november come around, i can't help but to think about those days in the past. i can't help but to think about him, the one and only miyuki kazuya.

back those years ago, we started off sharing the same dream. 'to be the top of the world!' we said, how naive we were. but that dream was pure, untainted with the world prespective. those small childish laughs filling our surroundings back then, if i listen closely now maybe i can hear it. that laugh is imprinted in my memory along with the drowned sunset view of that day

miyuki was fun, if he wasn't here i wouldn't know how to have fun without him. loneliness is what i feel when he isn't around, even until now. which is why, this day always bring back those memories. always at this time of the year, i can't help but looking at the things he left behind.

my hands begin to open our highschool album, that album is filled with our picture. of course i was the one who took them with miyuki outdated phone and all. i can't help but smiling pathetichally when i saw how happy we were at the start of our highschool days.

we thought we were going to chase the same goals, but at the end? we ended up drifting, our goals began to differ around that time. but still, kazuya even if he couldn't grew out his snarkiness and sarcastic mouth he was someone that has the after the rain smile, calming and relaxing you in an instant.

which make nowadays sucks, i can't see kazuya as much as i like now with our differing goals and his business as a pro player. but i'm sure even if the season changings and time moves forward, me and kazuya at the end are still those children back in the past, right...?

honestly i don't know anymore. the world always moves around, time changes, people change too. and what if kazuya changes? and started to forget me? after all we've been drifted so far apart. you know, i lied when i said i can't see kazuya as much as i like, in fact i haven't seen him in years after we graduated high school. he never kept his promise to stay in touch.

i was honestly dissapointed. but i have to accept, people do change, kazuya too gone through those changes. i'm the one who stuck in the past, i'm the one who need to move on from him. even if this love doesn't resonate with him, some day in the future i wish i could kazuya once again.

somewhere in the future where we are already reached our goals, meeting one another with smiles brought other splendid people who are going to be the one who spend eternity with us if it's not us together though. guess this silly crush of mine haven't dissapeared yet huh? what can you say? kazuya is attractive as hell, but someday i will get over it. the day i'm meeting again with him i know i will get over him, though the love will stay the same, it will always be there. and even if at that point kazuya is already changed, i don't care because it's still the same kazuya i knew back then, he's still the same person just developed.

with this, i'm ending this diary entry. this is the last time i'm going to write on this diary dedicated to you kazuya. happy birthday miyuki kazuya, may all your hope and dreams be granted! looking forward to future meeting with you (hopefully) when we crossed paths in our own journey towards our dreams because i believe in us kazuya. on this day i'm finally letting you go, i finally believe that without clinging to our past memories scared of them dissapearing, we still will shine.

side to side

your eyes kept darting back to the tall man back there at the bar. sexy black hair, demanding aura emitted off him and those sharp piercing eyes. damn, just fuck me already right?

who did you speak about? he was none other than sebastian moran himself who just stood up in that white shirt that curved his body perfectly. the perfect way to end this night was obviously to rock your body with his without no care in the world.

you started to walk over towards him. bad reputation? who give a damn?! well actually your friend cared about that. even if you were so unladylike and rowdy you were still part of nobility afterall. though you didn't give two shits about that. the temptation for him was bigger than your friends nagging.

your friends said you should gave him up, a womanizer prick who fucked countless of prostitutes. they were sure you were too good for him who fucked with someone below you were and he wanted you just for fun and you were at the age to just get married then settled down already.

but then again, who wanted that? them, not you. you wanted fun too, so ain't moran perfect for you? the more they spoke, the more your desire flamed to put it simply you couldn't hear anything they talked about moran anymore.

why would you want moran? simple, he was the hottest man you ever saw in your life. but still he fucked so many women? oh then fuck it, he still ain't tasted you, he didn't know the taste of the best. not because they were prostitutes, it was just because you were damn good at late night activity on sheets.

sure, you didn't give no shits about what your friend shit talks but it was going to be a pain in the ass if your family knew. so you came here alone, let this became a dangerous affair that only the two of you knew. when you finally approached him you smirked. he was a jackpot, looking up closer he was much hotter.

if you could took him at the bar right now, you would! sadly you couldn't afford that. so you just swayed your hips, gave him a coy smile before letting your fingertips touched his covered with shirt chest.

“well, well ain't I lucky to be blessed by a presence of such a beauty like yourself tonight” moran said, smirking while his hand started making it ways to wrap around your waist . “and maybe you could get even more luckier if you play your cards right tonight” you winked, giving that sultry eyelashes dropped that oh so you knew would make him weak.

”...hah! you are daring, i like it. wanna get out of here?” now moran fingers already ran lower and lower on your back. “sure thing, but somewhere decent okay?” “ain't you a brave one? demanding things at the first night, but how could i say no to a princess like you?” moran's smirk grew wider, he started to like you a lot more. he wondered how he would break those bratty attitudes of yours tonight hm? he would make sure you were going to be the one begging for forgiveness at the end of this night.

if you want this: you arrived at the front door of your room hotel door and you were already a mess to be seen. lips on lips, tongues swirled fighting fiercely for dominance against each other. you were pinned to the wall, trapped by his tall figure looming over you. in an instant he sweep you off your feet. opening the hotel room door, then threw you over the bed before discarding his clothes quickly.

oh my god, you were right. his body was carved like a greek god, it was heavenly. in front of such a sight you couldn't help but to stare a bit too hard and drooling a bit. “eager aren't you? such an impatient brat huh” you quickly wiped the drool of your face, clearly embarassed but moran paid no mind into it. after there was not a single leaf covering his body, he joined you on the bed instantly attacked your mouth before he moved lower attacking your neck instead, elicited a high pitch moan from your lips. then he moved lower but your clothes starting to get in the way. he grunted and without warning he shred it off your body.

“h-hey?” “got a problem doll?” then with that devilish grin he continued to attack your body with his skillful fingers dipping low enough to tease your wetness and his lips on your body. you were taken aback with his move, but what did you expect he was sebastian moran you knew this. your fingers started raking around his body, scratches started to appear on his back.

moans slipping out from your lips while he just occassionally grunts and smirk slipped out here and there. “are you ready?” “of course daddy, been waiting forever for you to put it in” “ooh what's that? daddy? i like it, keep using it doll” then he started to thrust into you, damn god that big thing was inside of you now seathing slowly. not before long he thrusted in and out, rocking your hips together.

with moran it always rough and hard, and you like it that way. you started to see stars, the sense of heavenly bliss started to come over your mind. “are you close?” “yes- oh my god daddy faster please!” “hm, a please from your mouth?” said moran teasingly, got him you were sure in any moment you would paint your insides white but then he pulled out. just like that! he just smirked at you who looked at him in disbelief

“w-what are you doing?!” “nothing, i just think a brat need to make up for his punishment a lot more than this” “wh-” “if you want it, you gotta work for it doll” and there it came, the sliest smirk he ever shown you tonight, you were getting shudder from it. this was going to be a long long night.

after ending: you ended up going until sunrise and damn moran was wrecking you hard. at the end of your act he made you begged him in tears for edging you on and on. both of you just woke up at noon, “afternoon handsome” you said teasing him, while he replied back with that charming deep voice of his and kissing your forehead “afternoon too milady” you looked at each other for a moment before he broke the silence. “so, another time?” “definitely” and you got a dangerous affair now in your hands that you needed to take care off so your family wouldn't find out about this.

imagine

it was kind of unusual to see mei and miyuki without crowd crowding them or people noticing them. they were baseball players after all, their popularity skyrocketed even more when they turned pro. even in their high school days, they were the popular people, one was a captain and the other the ace.

it was refreshing to step out from the car, going out like normal people, enjoying their dates and then returning home while holding hands. such normal things to do, and that was all they wanted to do.

having a cheat day, ordering midnight snacks like normal couples do. bare faces, without any pretends and image to maintain, relaxed on the bathub enjoying their long awaited hot water soaking them both. mei rested his shoulder on kazuya bare chest then the long awaited breath exhaled. “tired huh?” asked miyuki, “of course, it's been a long time since we walked that far!” fumed mei, miyuki just snickered in respond.

but oh well, it wasn't like mei didn't enjoy it either. after all a day off with this like kazuya was a pleasure, when would he and kazuya get a day like this again? off from the spotlight? act this regular like normal couples without the masks on and hiding from the fans? so mei smiled, closing his eyes on kazuya chest. this was the perfect way to end this perfect day for them both.

mei loved to act like a brat. it was a known fact. even more so to kiss kazuya while demanded him to take his clothes off. “c'mon kazuya hurry up!” “geez mei, eager aren't you?” replied kazuya with that smirk, kazuya was excited too after all. their kisses escalated fast, clothes were thrown away on the floor. as a baseball palyer both of them had a lot of stamina, so you could predict how much round they had. well, no matter how many round they ebded up having it always ended on mei slspt on kazuya's chest, his face fits so perfectly in his neck 'till they woke up the next morning.

mei knew kazuya was perfect the moment he saw him. today he wanted him more, mei wanted and knew kazuya was his the one because every seconds he spent with kazuya the more enarmored he was and the more he knew this was forever felt like. sure with that all being said, mei never thought kazuya was his forever.

even if he said kazuya was perfect, his perfect type. there was still no guarantee he would want him back, and back then he was with a cute junior too in his team so why would he want mei? after all even if his pride was so damn high, mei knew his personality was trash. not like kazuya's personality ain't a bit trashy too, but comparing to the one he dated, eijun was the over hyper angel while he was the trashy devil.

but all of those were in the past. the more important thing was, in this moment, mei knew kazuya was his and his alone. mei knew this was true because he knew kazuya like the back of his hand, all of the secrets all of the creep shits he knew it all, the same went for kazuya to him. mei wanted that if their theatre of life was closing, and one of them out of their breath he wanted it to end on a kiss scene with both of their names on the credits hanging as one another life time partner.

after ending, if you wanted it: though, he could only imagined it. because kazuya couldn't. he couldn't anymore. “damn it! why you couldn't imagine it, kazuya?!” mei shouted, releasing his pent up rage all this time he hid behind. but there was no response following up, dead silence was all he got. oh, did i forget to tell you? kazuya was already dead on this day, one year ago on his own birthday while he was on his way to his birthday date with mei. tragic wasn't it.

flowers

flowers, flowers and flowers! the only thing that haruichi seemed to see these days. either outside at the school ground, inside his dorm room where there are a bag of petals and when he coughed, the flowers just came out inside of his body. the flower was pink like his hair, cherry blossom flower, it was pretty.

haruichi knew where this flowers came from, it was because he was having a one sided feelings towards someone he shouldn't have, someone he admired and he knew from the first time was out of his reach.

it was kuramochi, his partner and someone who always adored his brother. if you said just try it anyway you wouldn't know until you try! oh shut up, haruichi knew. even if his brother never admit it. he knew ryousuke liked kuramochi back too. even if he never said it out loud, never confessed his feelings even after he graduated. haruchi knew his brother the best, he knew everything about him, and that was why, as a younger brother, he should back off.

both of them were someone he admired, they were the one who inspired him. but during these times seeing both of them, made him sick. it was a relief that his brother was in college, but kuramochi? he was haruichi's partner how long until he could pretend he was alright in his sight? it was tough, even more tough because we were talking about kuramochi here. as all of you know, kuramochi was observant. sooner or later he would knew about haruichi's feelings. haruichi was scared about that, he was scared of hurting his brother, he didn't want his brother to back off just because of his feelings neither he wanted kuramochi to distance himself from him.

yet, it was all useless though? haruichi didn't need to worry about all of that. because his brother appeared hand in hand with kuramochi in front of his dorm and said “we are dating now” so he was never on both of their minds lately apparently. as a good brother should did, he hugged ryousuke tight, saying things he didn't mean, saying how happy he was for them that he cried burying his head in his brother shirt. his borther just said “you still are a crybaby haruichi” maybe this happened for the best, this time he needed to let it go. haruichi then smiled, he already made up his mind, he would have the surgery to remove all the flowers tommorow.

i wish you would

mei just 'tch'ed when he saw miyuki's car passed by hus apartment. why did he has to live so close to his ex? and what the hell miyuki did to be back at 2 A.M? not like he cared though, it got nothing to do with him after all. then why the heck mei too still awoke at 2 A.M? he would say he couldn't sleep, which was true but what was the reason behind it? well, he couldn't say he was waiting for miyuki's car to pass by, couldn't he? mei's pride was so damn high even beyond the sky after all.

but really tho, if mei was honest. he missed miyuki this bad. he wished miyuki didn't drive straight ahead, he wished miyuki turned his car to his apartment. miyuki said they would still be friends, he would visit sometimes. but those were all lies, because never did once miyuki even spare a glance to mei's apartment.

mei knew they were a crooked love, this relationship was doomed from the start. they weren't that compatible outside of baseball, their personalities would clash. he knew, miyuki knew it too. yet at that time overwhelmed by the tension, they threw thoe thoughts outside the window. for once they wanted to believe, they could worked it out.

their relationship went off to not so smooth start, fight after fight, on and off, playing hide and seek then turn right back around like before then what the fuck the label for if they were like before? but when they were fighting, what happened after those fights was heaven. the adrenaline from pushing each other buttons to maximum frustation, the mad love they both had who kept each other at high tension. yeah, no matter how much mei or miyuki tried it, their relationship would always be like this. filled with screaming and yelling, feeling like both of them gave everything yet nothing in this relationship at the same time.

the last fight they had, the catalyst of their break up. when mei hang up the phone out of frustation. now he wished he didn't hang up that phone, because the next time they met it ended up in them ending things. but miyuki never knew the things left unsaid, the things mei wanted to say before he impulsively hung up that phone. “damn you kazuya, just come back right here you idiot” mei whispered to no one before slumping himself on the floor. if miyuki just came back right now, if miyuki was right here beside him, he would probably just give miyuki one sarcasm then lead him to their make up sessions. he missed miyuki too much to be mad at him anymore. then they would really try for this relationship for work, forget the past, left everything behind. mei swore if miyuki just came back! but he never came, did he? it was already two months and there was never once miyuki tried to communicate with him after their last meeting. was their relationship really ended like this? “kazuya you dumbass” mei cursed again, with things between them ending like this, with mei still pining over him hard then how the hell mei would forget about him as long as he breathes?

style

the party was blazing tonight, it was the after party of the first game of the season after all. there was no way it wouldn't be crowded and not having mima soichiro in it. speaking of the devil, there he was making the grand entrance like a king. well, he was the king for tonight after making that briliant steal after steal. suddenly out of nowhere, his eyes met yours. this was bad, you quickly avarted your eyes and started moving somewhere else. but before you could move somewhere else, mima soichiro already stood in front of you blocking your path.

“how have you been?” “good” you answered, trying to move get past him. you couldn't stay here any longer and risked yourself for going to the same repetitive pattern you had with him. though mima wasn't going to let you go anywhere that easily. “let's get out of here” with those peircing eyes staring at yours, you knew you already lose there was no way you could reject him, could you? but you would put a little bit of resistance before going with him. “this is your party soichiro” “then what?” he asked with that straight face that you knew he didn't give two fucks for this party.

“if that's what you want soichiro, lead the way” then he took your hand and welcomed you to his car. ah, here you were again and again in this same car where he pick you off everytime for midnight rides. on and off like this, going circles. you should knew better, you should've told him to leave because you knew where this would end up, yet instead you took a seat back and watch this going round and round each time. after all there was no point in trying to refuse him, because you couldn't. mima was amazing to have this kind of impact to you, when you thought this would end when you hadn't heard from him for a while, here he was appearing in front of you, picking you up again for a long midnight drives that who knows would end up in burning flames or paradise.

mima was driving the car while silence was engulfing both of you until you broke it. “it's been a while” “yeah” he replied curtly, not taking his eyes off the drive way. “then why are you picking me up again?” you were curious, was he picking you up after abandoning you for a while because he got bored or even worse the girl he had been fooling around after you didn't want him anymore? you didn't want to be the second best. if you were second to his then all you gotta do was to hop off from this car, easy right? “because i want you” that was so mima soichiro like answer, you just scoffed at it and answered “is the other girl already bored? that's why you are coming back to me?”

“what?” “you hear me loud and clear soichiro, so answer it. is it true or not?” yet he didn't answer for a long time. oh, so you were right. you were just some of replacement. a bullseye to your high pride. anger enraged from inside of you. “so it's true!” “what is true?” he could responded to this yet he couldn't answer to your previous question? “don't you kid me soichiro! that's it, i'm done. just find the nearby rest area and i'm out of this car!” you shouted, yet he didn't even flinch! “okay” he answred, were you never mean something to him? hah, what did you hope for from mima soichiro? then when you both got to the nearby rest area, you immediately opened the door but an arm longer and faster from yours stopped you from it. he cornered you on your seat with nowhere to go, putting you in such an awkward position.

“tell me” he said with a serious face. was there anything that you could possibly explain to him? this was his situation not yours? “tell you what?” “why are you so damn mad and stubborn today, it's unlike you. you never paid attention at those before, we both never paid attention at those and weren't you the one who told me you were busy?” you became silence, and for the first time in forever you saw mima soichiro getting ticked off. “what is this about?” “I heard, you've been out and about with some other girl” you finally answered after a long pause, mima sighed then replied back to you. “what you've heard is true but, I can't stop thinking about you and I” he then leaned closer to you, reaching the hair on your side face. “I've been there too, a few times” you turned your face away from him, a mix of ashamed and embarassed after all you've done it too yet why the hell you got so worked up for?

“c'mere” mima then reaching your face to look straight at him and slowly getting closer to your face. in mere minutes, your lips were upon him. here you go again, crashing and coming back together again and again like a never ending cycle. your tongues fought for dominance, his fingers tangled up in your hair and your hands raking on his back. you pulled away for a minute, gasping for air. before you both went back at it again like ferals. his kisses were always fierce like the james dean daydream look he had on his eyes.

your red lipstick smeared not only on his lips, but his entire face. his coat was long gone after you swiped it away from his body, his fingers trailed down reaching your miniskirt trying to zipped it off. yet before he even could touch it, a flash came out and a clicked sound came off from outside. you both turned your face to outside of the window and you saw dozen of reporters with their cameras were crowding around mima's car. one of them with a toothy grin before you both could even processed the entire information spoke out aloud “scandal of the year, the rising star of baseball mima soichiro and a pop star were making out in his car! what a big catch we got this year, right everyone?!”

takdir

semenjak hari itu aku belajar, kalau yang namanya hubungan itu nggak ada yang abadi. tapi kalau yang namanya takdir, nggak ada satupun yang tahu.

namanya mungkin waktu itu aku masih sma ya, aku masih naif. aku kira pernyataan hinata waktu itu konyol, walau debaran di jantungku serasa mau mencuat saja ketika hinata mengatakan pernyataan cintanya kepadaku. aku waktu itu mengingatkan diriku kalau aku masih punya kak tetsurou, kalau aku akan sudah pasti bersama kak tetsurou sesudah sma dan sampai selanjutnya.

namanya juga masih sma ya, tidak ada seorangpun pasangan kekasih di jenjang sma yang ingin mempercayai perkataan bahwa kekasih di waktu sma biasanya tidak berakhir bersama. aku juga begitu, kak tetsurou pun juga begitu. namun selepas dari sma, kami berdua menjalani kehidupan kami masing-masing. selepas dari sma kamu akan benar-benar mengerti dan belajar bahwa namanya hubungan itu tidak ada yang namanya abadi, semabuk apapun kamu dalam asmaramu.

perlahan kami mulai menghilang dari kehidupan satu sama lain sampai akhirnya kami melepaskan satu sama lain. sedih? tidak juga, aku bahkan tidak terkejut. setelah mengucapkan selamat tinggal, kami hanya berpindah dari satu fase kehidupan kami ke fase yang baru, dimana kami masing-masing tidak lagi menjadi pemeran penting di kehidupan satu dan yang lainnya.

bagaimana dengan hinata? hubungan kami tidak berubah drastis setelah kejadian di sma itu. satu dua minggu dengan kecanggungan, namun ya itu saja. lagi pula dia ya hinata, bagaimana mungkin kamu bisa betah berlama-lama jauh dari matahari seperti dirinya? hinata selalu menarik orang kemanapun dia berada. memang masih sedikit aneh, masih sedikit ada tensi antara kita yang tidak dapat diucapkan. namun kita lanjut, melangkahi bab baru dalam kehidupan kita bersama-sama.

hinata tetap menjadi sosok seperti yang sudah-sudah, selalu ada, selalu berada di sekelilingku kemanapun aku melangkah. hari-hariku dipenuhi dengan hinata, aku tidak keberatan. rasanya nyaman, berada dekat hinata rasanya hangat. namun dibenakku waktu itu tidak pernah terlintas dipikiranku hinata sebagai seseorang yang lebih dari sekadar sahabat. walau dia pernah mengaku dan yah hampir saja membuat jantungku mencuat waktu itu, aku mengira itu hanya akan menjadi kejadian sekali seumur hidup.

bisa saja itu otakku yang ingin membohongi perasaanku waktu itu atau aku sebodoh ini untuk menepis perasaan yang tumbuh di diriku selama itu? karena saat hinata muncul di hadapanku malam itu, di depan stasiun dengan langkah cepat dan nafas terengah-engah menanyakanku apakah aku baik baik saja. bagaimanapun malam itu adalah momen dimana baru saja aku melepas hubungan yang kubangun selama tiga tahun dengan kak tetsurou.

yah, aku tidak apa-apa sih. namun hinata terlihat sangat khawatir dan malam itu, untuk kedua kalinya dan akan terus terulang seumur hidupku. hinata membuat jantungku lagi-lagi ingin mencuat keluar. malam itu lah, momen dimana aku tidak bisa berbohong lagi, momen dimana aku mengaku pada diriku sendiri bahwa aku memendam rasa kepada pemuda yang aku panggil sahabat selama empat tahun. aku melihatnya sebagai pria, bukan sahabat. aku mulai sadar dengan proporsi badannya yang berubah, aku mulai sasar dengan struktur wajahnya yang sedikit berubah, sejak kapan hinata menjadi sangat berbeda? semburat merah muncul di wajahku. dan dengan itu, roda takdir mulai bergerak hingga ke titik ini, dimana aku akan menikah dengannya beberapa saat lagi.

mungkin dari kalian banyak yang tidak percaya takdir. aku juga begitu, dulu. namun rasanya dengan hinata semua seperti takdir. karena tidak ada yang menyangka, terjadi secara tiba-tiba namun entah rasanya tepat bila semuanya terjadi seperti ini. dimulai dari malam itu ke hari dimana hinata tiba-tiba muncul didepan rumahku dengan satu buket bunga matahari hingga ke tahun kelima perayaan hubungan kami dimana hinata tiba-tiba gagap dengan satu lutut di lantai restoran memintaku menjadi pendamping hidupnya hingga ke titik ini, dimana aku tinggal menunggu beberapa saat lagi dan kami siap menjalani sisa hidup kami bersama untuk selamanya.

dan suara ketukan pintu terdengar dari luar sebelum dibuka. “hitoka sudah siap?” tanya hinata “harusnya aku yang bilang gitu” balasku sembari tertawa sebelum mengambil lengannya menuju acara resepsi kami. “aku udah pernah bilang kan, suatu saat kamu punya aku” seru hinata dengan senyuman tersungging di bibirnya. ah, sekarang baru aku benar-benar menyadari aku akan menghabiskan sisa hidup dengan pria yang lengannya kugenggam ini. tapi toh aku tidak keberatan sama sekali asal dapat melihat senyuman itu setiap harinya. “ih, kok pede banget? aku inget kamu bilang 'besok lo punya gue!'” jawabku balik dengan senyum simpul, kami pun tertawa riang bersama setelahnya dan lebih dekat satu langkah lagi untuk menempuh keabadian bersama.