Slippage
Vibrant dreams of distant past Shades of memory, thought lost Compulsion driving my return Joy and trepidation A sense of urgency to this call
Vibrant dreams of distant past Shades of memory, thought lost Compulsion driving my return Joy and trepidation A sense of urgency to this call
I do not understand why you persisted
Broken as I was, pushing you away
I'm done with love, I told you
Grieving, waiting for dissolution
You felt the lie in my words, I think
Waiting, hurt by my constant rejection
Me, trying to save you
You, refusing to leave
'I love you,' you confessed, terrified
My acknowledgement without reciprocation
I cannot, I told you
Terrified that i might be wrong
Hurting, one too many rejections
You disappeared
Me, wondering, worried
Knowing it was what I deserved
Returning, you had a new crush
I was happy for you (no I was not)
An unexpected sadness
Admitting, finally, that I might still feel
I was hurt
(I deserved it)
I was jealous
(I was a fool)
I think I have feelings, I said
You knew
I've been stupid, I sighed
Yes, but I love you, you said
Why
A question i cannot answer
But I love you too
For all my fatal flaws.
Whatever you are
Injury Sickness Curse
This is not the world I was born into
That world of ice rimed puddles
Of brightly colored kites, soaring
And endless possibility
This world has stripped its gears
Screaming as it dies, discordant, broken
Why am I here, I wonder
I want to go home
Thrice I’ve come through your doors Quiet, soft-spoken hellos The resonance of this place, calming Me, afraid to ask you why
An infinity of choices Both particle and sine Scoff at wondering voices Who see in this divine
#poetry #death #mortality #hope #writing
TW: Death, Mortality, Grief