I do not understand why you persisted

Broken as I was, pushing you away

I'm done with love, I told you

Grieving, waiting for dissolution

You felt the lie in my words, I think

Waiting, hurt by my constant rejection

Me, trying to save you

You, refusing to leave

'I love you,' you confessed, terrified

My acknowledgement without reciprocation

I cannot, I told you

Terrified that i might be wrong

Hurting, one too many rejections

You disappeared

Me, wondering, worried

Knowing it was what I deserved

Returning, you had a new crush

I was happy for you (no I was not)

An unexpected sadness

Admitting, finally, that I might still feel

I was hurt

(I deserved it)

I was jealous

(I was a fool)

I think I have feelings, I said

You knew

I've been stupid, I sighed

Yes, but I love you, you said

Why

A question i cannot answer

But I love you too

For all my fatal flaws.

#poetry #writing

You point to your blood work and say

Everything looks great

Just be patient, you smile

Content that you've given sage advice

I want nothing more than to hurt you

To make you suffer my pain

My anguish as it steals away

This life built on struggle and loss

Ten thousand lies, you tell

One for each dollar spent

One for each minute lost

Paying for the privilege each time

I do not want to hurt you

I want to be free of this,

This unveiled threat to happiness

Free to become something else.

#ppetry #writing #anger

This is not the world I was born into

That world of ice rimed puddles

Of brightly colored kites, soaring

And endless possibility

This world has stripped its gears

Screaming as it dies, discordant, broken

Why am I here, I wonder

I want to go home

#poetry #writing #mandelaeffect

Breathing the air of civilizations past

Their ancient dust coating my lungs

I wonder

Will we too come to this

Forgotten and half rediscovered

After our time has long since passed

#poetry #writing #travel