Dumpster-Dancer

The radiant young couple was crestfallen when the Dungeon Master rejected their membership application. The young woman had her heart set on her husband learning to fulfill her fantasy of being tied up and dominated by him.

We invited them in as our guests and showed them what we could.

She was a woman on a mission. A month later she got back in touch and shyly asked if we’d consider helping them act out a fantasy. She wanted to be “double penetrated” by her husband and another man. (That's simultaneous vaginal and anal intercourse, and it's dangerous). They felt that I would be a safe partner to act this out with.

The flattering offer intrigued me, but not in the carnal sense. The ache in her triggered my empathy not my desire. My generous wife said we could lend my dick #monogamy if that's what the couple really wanted. But only IF that's what the couple REALLY wanted.

We lived hours apart, so by text, phone and e-mail we began to explore the need behind the fantasy. One day she snapped out one little chunk of the truth. “Please, just make this stubborn body cum,” she said, then cried and cried.

Eventually she shared that she could only climax during rear entry anal with clitoral stimulation from a hand or vibrator or something. She had never, in 20 some years of sexual experience, had an orgasm face to face with her lover inside her. She imagined that her double penetration fantasy would give her the stimulation that she needed.

She seemed to like corresponding, so I dragged my feet for months getting to know her better. (Her husband was getting worn out with his nympho wife in hyper mode, but he seemed to enjoy. My wife got even more attention than normal because . . . well because . . . the whole thing just made me appreciate her presence and energy all the more.)

In time we learned that her first husband had verbally abused her, called her a bitch, and publicly told his friends what an awful lay she was. Husband two had nearly choked her to death, smashing her head into a wall holding her by the neck and breaking her collar bone. Husband three, the current one was gentle, loving, attentive, kind, and a decent provider but was not dominant like she needed.

As negotiations and boundary setting continued, she asked me to teach her how to cum face to face with intercourse. Her only condition was that I not touch her neck or collar bone. I said “then you already know where you need to be touched.” Instantly she gasped “Asshole, you wouldn't?” After a long pause she continued “I'd probably hurt you if you did.” She explained that any touch to that part of her body triggers her instinctive defenses and PTSD.

The day came. I instructed her to come to me wearing a tube top or something that fully exposed her neck and collar bones. She said she needed her husband's permission and would call back. A few minutes later he called saying that she was so excited that she was already in the shower getting ready. He said he wanted her happy and that if this was what she wanted he was OK with it so long as I didn't touch her neck or collar bones. I assured him that was the only part of her I'd be touching. “It's your life dude. I wouldn't do that” he replied.

She arrived in a shoulderless sun dress. Proof that she knew what to expect.

In a secluded outdoor area I had her leave her car running with the door open so she knew she could escape. I tried to make her comfortable with food and a bit of conversation, but she wanted to get straight to business. I'd laid out a blanket. Sundress notwithstanding, she started to strip, presumably hoping to tempt me with something other than her neck. I said no and just asked her to stand close in front of me, clothed, with the car door near.

We stood that way a long, long time. She got impatient and wanted me to do something. I told her that she knew what to do. She resisted, so I told her to take my hands. She did, then again waited for me to act. Again I reminded her that she knew what to do. Her eyes got huge and teary. I just stood, passive, my hands in hers. Then she mustered her courage and lifted my hands and placed them on her shoulders far from her collar bones.

We worked out a dance where she’d move my hands closer to her neck and collar bones as her courage allowed and I’d slide them back toward her shoulders whenever she wasn’t urging me to her neck. Once she got into it, she became fierce, going far further than I would ever have imagined. Eventually she wrapped my fingers around her neck then pressed them in, beckoning me to choke her. Over and over she pushed my hands tight for as long as she could bear. Then she'd back off for a moment to breathe. It went on for a long time. Our hands became slick with spit, snot and tears.

We wound up with my fingers so tight around her throat I was afraid I'd hurt her. And she was still pushing my hands to get me to go tighter. I lost my nerve before she did.

That was all. I stopped her, lowered her to the blanket and held her till the sobbing passed. When she appeared safe to drive, I sent her home to her husband, calling him to let him know she'd need extra love and comfort. And then I was flooded with negative thoughts and hated myself for letting it go so far. #ants

Once home she orgasmed, face to face, with her gentle husband's hands lovingly around her neck. They both sent me exuberant “thank you” texts. And my #ants fled . . . for a moment.

She had known all along what she needed. Her explicit words said “double penetration,” but what she really wanted was to trust again. DP would have been a sin against her.

So, I say it’s better to listen for what a woman really wants rather than to give her what she says she wants. #exploring_emotions