f:r:u:c:t:o:s:e

How many times will I say “it's fine”, statistically, in the next 5 years?

Is it better to be quiet, to be honest, or to say I'm fine? Those are the choices and that is a #power.

I'll never have control. The only people with control are the dead. You can't be hurt if you have nothing to lose.

There is no notification sound that won't spike my adrenaline. I adapt quickly. If something happens, I'm going to know what it is.

There is so much #power in apathy, and that's something I'm too idealistic to develop.

Fear is like anticipation with a sense of closure. Fear is accepting risk.

Terror is open-ended. Terror is not attached to a thought; not attached to words or ideas. Terror moves from your brain, to your hands, to your chest, and settles right under your breastbone. It's a lead rod under your sternum while your heart works to move blood around it and your lungs work to inflate under it.

Fear is having a gun drawn on you. Terror is feeling the barrel pressed against your temple in the dark.

I understand that I am at a high risk. I am a high risk. I am #volatile because of what I've done to myself and others.

Statistically, I have more in common with people who are dead than people who are alive.

I want to talk to them and ask— would you do it again?