f:r:u:c:t:o:s:e

anxiety blog

People aren't as scared of me as I want them to be. It would be wise.

Can you really say that a person is lying if they don't know it?

It's just me and you and everyone who loves us, and no one is going to be let down.

I wonder if there's a moment after your head gets split open where you realize what has happened.

Pull me if I won't go. Push me if I won't leave.

Shove me onto the grass and tell me to thank you.

Say it and I'll do it.

“He's coming with us. He's done so much for you.”

You can have your money back. Thank you so much.

I was always told not to get my hopes up.

“have you thought about—”

“but what about—”

“maybe it will—”

“what if—”

??????...?

Then the spiral starts, and I become afraid, and I become smart.

Well, more than being the pollyanna who didn't see it coming.

Absolution.

I've arrived in a #world where everyone can crush me under their thumb and I am powerless to stop them or stop the camera from rolling.

Cry and the world laughs with you.

I don't really want sex. If I had drugs I would want them instead.

This is what mania looks like. Main E Ah. Say it slowly.

I don't want to use any services. I don't want to accept new points of failure. People don't see each new item the way I do; as another potential loss. The more you are given to hold, the heavier it is, the harder your muscles #need to work. Isn't it obvious?

I say “sorry” like I'm asking for absolution.

I'm too old to expect the things I want to get.


What a nice format. I am so talented.

Sep·tem·ber. It's odd when you say it slowly isn't it? It's like seeing your pores up close when they've been there the whole time.

“No” is the same way. It's just a sound. It's all just sound and all sounds have the same weight.