gringo

• Get nail clippers and file. Clip and file frequently. If you can’t file, then don’t clip, as this can make your nails sharp.
• Also, best to file a day before doing a massage, since you have some time to “wear in” your nails.
• The more you clip your nails the less fast they’ll grow.
• Silicon based lube = too thick, not enough friction
• Water based lube = evaporates quickly, need spit to stay wet
• Oil = does absorb into skin, but doesn’t dry quickly, and can use internally inside the vagina if it’s the right type
  • Grape seed oil – best
  • Coconut oil – second best, but also quite thick. And smells
  • Highly refined olive oil – go to massage shop. Not supermarket, as they can cause yeast infections (the carbs give it the nice taste, but act as food for bacteria)
  • Baby oils – not good – petroleum based, can clog skin
• Essential oils are a good idea to combine with your oil
  • Lavender or lemongrass – 3 drops for a full bottle
  • Avoid mint, menthol. These are more cooling/sharp rather than relaxing/warm
• You can’t use too much oil. If in doubt, add more oil
• If she’s super wet, you don’t need lube. You can use spit too if you don’t have oil
• Warm temperature is best for essential massage – a lot of girls can’t come if their extremities (hands, feet) are cold
• Add music – anything to replace the silence is good
• However, lyrics can put you in the head, and you want to focus on the body. Just a chill spa track is good
• Incandescent – yellow light – or candle is best
• Don’t let the lights get too bright – put the candles by her feet not her head if you need light to find your way around
• No smells is best – no laundry or garbage – and only one fragrance
• Tidiness – some girls can’t sleep if the dishes are not washed, similarly orgasm gets blocked
• Novelty – if the bedroom isn’t associated with sex – get a hotel/motel or similar so the brain is willing to act different
• The ability to be loud – no kids, turn up the music if you have nosy neighbors
• Lock the door
• If having a drink or 2 will help the girl relax – def have it.
• You can drink too. but not a lot, you want to be sober and relaxed – there is state transference. The mood of the most dominant gets transferred to the less dominant person.
• Set a time expectation if you’re going to do the massage and help her squirt. Avoid her trying to jerk you off. Set a time limit for her to simply receive
• Get a plastic sheet
• Keep the oil handy
• Get a squeeze top bottle
• WASH YOUR HANDS!!!
• Everyone needs more touch in their lives – a lot of us weren’t touched enough as our kid – and today, we live in urbanized societies full of people like “don’t fucking touch me” – this modifies our epigenetics, makes us anxious, sick
• No touch = you’re feeling on guard, like the world is chaotic

I ought to get the WriteFreely app for iOS. I use the write.as app but it's all anon right now. No option to connect account. Then again this blog is partially anon. Maybe I get the app once I'm 3 months into a subscription on write.as, or once I'm using my real name for this blog.

I get pretty scared when my chest clenches up, but honestly I have nothing to worry about. I have it so good compared to others. My friend has a son with a rare disorder affecting almost everything in his body – eyes, liver, nervous system – causing painful seizures, liver disease, myopia... all of this as a baby boy. No soul deserves that level of pain. And god it must be fucking hard being parents to a kid like that. Watching your son suffer daily. And trying to fundraise for your charity to support others with the same issue, dealing with LinkedIn bugmen who couldn't care less about you or your family... dealing with the bullshit of the crypto world.

Yep, I have nothing to complain about.

Dostoevsky – “there is only one way to salvation, and that is to make yourself responsible for all men's sins. As soon as you make yourself responsible in all sincerity for everything and for everyone, you will see at once that this is really so, and that you are in fact to blame for everyone and for all things.”

I like Akira and JBP's take on this. Most evil comes from not taking a small risk when you should. Avoiding action when you see something wrong happening. When you don't oppose something wrong in the early stages, the thing you don't oppose grows, and you shrink a little bit – and eventually if it grows too much as you shrink, you'll no longer be able to fight it.

I also like JBP's reminder to be humble despite knowing this. Be willing to see your fault, to see that what you're opposing could be right. Oppose it if you think it's wrong, but be open to being proven wrong in your opposition.

6 Step Squirting is better than I expected. The guy advertises like a snake oil salesman but the content is actually quite good and detailed. My friends tell me I could learn this all for free but I''m actually not sure I could have such a good education with random internet sources.

The one thing I don't like about the teacher is that he considers porn to be a good thing. That being said, he produces porn (albeit a fairly special type, where he never takes off his clothes and only massages women), so he likely has a customer base of a lot of porn users. I highly doubt in fact that many of the 6 Step Squirting customers actually learn and apply the content. It's too easy to just sit back and wank to a fantasy instead.

Quitting rapé seemed somewhat inobvious until I took it yesterday. I realised – I am already growing an addiction. It just doesn't have the same effect outside a ceremony. Like sex outside of love, a party with people you don't jive with, working at 2am vs 2pm, working out with bad form. When used in certain ways I have no doubt it's medicine. In fact I've experienced it myself, that's why I wanted to try using it in my day-to-day life – like there was something intrinsic about it that would mean it's healthier to use than most tobacco products.

But I don't think I have the judgement or self control or respect to use it properly. Even with something like a float tank, I don't see the point in giving myself the option of using it. Better to simply make a vow to myself to never use rapé in my day-to-day life ever again. I gave it a go, it didn't work out, cool. No need to wait, no need to give it more of a chance. You can't afford to wait with addictions. When you see it having a negative effect, you stop. Always easier to quit earlier.

Notably I did not quit smoking products. I take commitments to myself seriously. If I make a bunch of commitments, (a) that's a lot of things to keep in mind (b) it devalues the act of making a commitment.

I don't commit myself to not playing video games for this reason. It's not a disruptive enough addiction that it would make a lot of sense to quit. I am able to control it enough / I am able to focus on other things instead of gaming without the desire to do gaming instead. Same with weed. I don't feel a pull to use it, so I won't commit myself to never using it again.

Character is fate. I like that idea. Said another way by Derek Sivers, character predicts your future. I have noticed this myself. Many of my former coworkers have just coasted along after the company we were working at shut down. It really doesn't matter your position at a company at any point in time, or even the capital you accumulate to a degree – if you don't constantly keep honing your skills and looking for new opportunities and preparing for new threats, eventually something will catch up with you. You'll start falling off the path.

Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps after a certain point, the Matthew principle – to those who have everything, more will be given – just helps you grow and get more successful on autopilot. No matter how much you self-sabotage you're fine. But I imagine that for most people that's not the case.

Time to plan my week. Why not further than that? Because I am not sure that I'll what what I currently want in a week's time.

“You're silent – that's a risk.” “I vow to love myself”

What would be the most loving thing I could do with myself this week?

• Take it slow.
• Get good sleep.
• Work out every day.
• Drink plenty of water.
• Look for a better water filter.
• Keep the aircon blasting.
• Enjoy time with my wife. (Note: Valentines day is this Sunday)

Work-wise, what do I have on my schedule?

• Apply for electronic tax number (for accountant)
• Add Jan data into the tax declaration spreadsheet
• February financial data export. Improve documentation for the process. #2
• Make a development specification for our tax reporting provider's API connection. The MVP will be a script for adding crypto-to-crypto swaps. #1
• Pay L (on the 10th)
• Track down missing bank service charges
• Begin the development specification for the BF Bank Database. Connects with #2
• Create a new reimbursement process. Including:
  • Figure out what data is useful to log (add receipts perhaps?)
  • Manually reconcile my and A's personal payments.
  • Go through Telegram and add in any payments that A has made for the business since Sep
  • Calculate my Uber spending in SP since Sep
  • Cross-check/link/grey out the old logs of company expenses. (the purpose of cross-checking is to ensure no expenses have been marked as spent from the company when they were really spent by us.)
  • Include the LTC payment from J for the hoodies.
• Review R's site bugs, editing where needed. After, schedule a call with Pam to get the high priority ones fixed. After that, introduce myself to SS (identify verification provider), and advise them about their BR specific bugs and opportunities
• Type up paper notes from Dev Ideas, put onto Confluence doc. Share with Pam after done. Connects with #1
  • Note: Bank database and read-only interface(s): make it clear that this is not a “once a day” thing.
• Continue the Dating and Relationships course
• Look at and decline A’s questionnaire based on length
• Tell M I can't help her with NFTs, that they are mostly scams
• Continue 6 Step Squirting

Email tasks: nothing.

Jira tasks:

• Follow up with customer verification issues
• Restart B (bitcoin price comparison tool) integration
• Help devs comply with B (BaaS provider)'s new API connection requirements

Telegram tasks:

• Update processes of exporting and formatting finance data (8 subtasks for 8 data sources). Connects to #2
• Document our tax reporting provider's API. Connects with #1

Housekeeping:

• Hang up the washing
• Schedule dermatologist

Now I am going to go through and highlight everything essential. Of course, all the personal stuff needs to be essential. And I’ll italicise everything that connects with bolded things.

Ok, now I have the following essential tasks: (moved.)

Now, what do I have on my schedule that’s not in here?

• Monday task planning
• Call H (friend)
• Continue 6SS
• Tuesday lunch with L (friend)
• Tuesday teeth cleaning
• Wednesday Jira review
• Wednesday donut call
• Wednesday dev call
• Thursday PT class
• Friday scorecard meeting

I also need to find time for CrossFit daily. But I won’t pre-schedule that.

Time to schedule all the essential tasks.

• Take it slow. – Solved by writing this message on a piece of paper.
• Get good sleep. – Solved by a 3pm task to stop drinking coffee.
• Work out every day. – Solved by a repeating CrossFit check-in.
• Drink plenty of water. – Solved by writing on paper.
• Look for a better water filter. – Scheduled
• Keep the aircon blasting. – Don’t need to schedule this lol
• Enjoy time with my wife. (Note: Valentines day is this Sunday.) – Solved by a reminder to schedule a date by Wednesday.
• Apply for electronic tax number (for accountant.) – Set reminder tomorrow.
• Make a development specification for our tax reporting provider's API connection. The MVP will be a script for adding crypto-to-crypto swaps. #1 – Set to begin today.
• Pay L (on the 10th) – Already scheduled.
• Follow up with customer verification issues – Scheduled for tomorrow.
• Help devs comply with B (BaaS provider)'s new API connection requirements – Scheduled for tomorrow.
• Hang up the washing – Scheduled for immediately after this post.
• Type up paper notes from Dev Ideas, put onto Confluence doc. Share with Pam after done. Connects with #1 – Scheduled for Wednesday.
• Document our tax reporting provider's API. Connects with #1 – Scheduled for Wednesday.

Done!

I have gone very sugar-limited since December. But funnily enough it doesn't feel like a sacrifice. Probably because I've been applying the rule, “Would a sugar addict eat this, to get their fix?”

That one question seems to exclude most of the foods that are bad for me.

I should note there are seemingly exceptions. I am having a big glass of watermelon and orange juice. I made it fresh, myself, but of course it's basically all sugar. Yet in this case I justify it as being a kind of pre-workout, in this case not being something a sugar addict uses for a fix, but what a dedicated athlete uses to get in the zone.

I likewise have been eating a type of protein bar after my lessons... usually a fairly sweet one, though the actual carbs are low.

Anyway time to go off and have my workout.

The nice thing about this blog is that there's no limit or expectation. I can write as much or as little as I want. There is a big benefit to writing without your real name. You aren't obligated to live up to your reputation.