Have you Played... Royals?

Royals PNG

You remember Threes!, right? That awesome little puzzle game that was ripped off by the much more successful 2048?

That game was written by the very talented Asher Vollmer, who also wrote Puzzlejuice, an incredibly good mobile puzzle game, and recently teased his newest game Guildlings,which now since you know his track record, will likely be another very good Fantasy mobile game.

This isn't about any of his mobile selections – instead, one of his much rarer desktop games, and a very obtuse one at that.

Royals Gif

In fact, the description of the game, in its entirety, is simply:

an old forgotten game from your youth you can't find the manual

In it, you play as a lowly peasant with the lofty ambition of becoming Royal, building up an empire of servants and fighting off the other, already well established, far more powerful kings that are upset at you trying to rise above your status.

You mine for gold, buy properties, exile yourself to the desert, convince people to follow you in your ambitions, meditate in the mountains, and die at thirty because you are a peasant without access to quality modern healthcare.

It is very difficult to win. Like any game with no instructions, strategies are learned through trial and error. When faced with something new, you have to decide whether to spend one of your very valuable turns to find out what it does, or ignore it for tried and tested strategies. Repeated rounds become easier. You slowly learn and become better at trying to be king.

Notice I said trying. I've played through this game fifty times and have never succeeded. Apparently it's possible. The hope that it is keeps me playing – and, unlike a lot of very difficult games, I've never had a moment of not having fun.


In conclusion, it is simple, it is fun, it is under 150 MB. It runs great in wine, if you are using Linux.

Oh, also, It's completely free. Maybe I should have opened with that.

Give it a shot.


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