The Mechanic

The elevator's hurtling up 'Bout to be launched to the top of the Moon When the doors close and walls close in Shoulders clench and sentences clipped

Don't fix it till it's not so broken Ain't now way to treat your heart I only write inside a hurricane On days I'd pray would just end.

People always seem to have people I figured I'd figure it out But how could I?

Want to sail right to the moon And splash around in it's cold pool But the elevator ride seems stuck I drunk myself on my earth's beauty The moon and all of my silver dreams

But I need to fix the elevator That feels so broken closing in on me.

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Worlds

We create entire worlds just to speak to one another To whisper sweet nothings and wake from our slumber Transpose realities and lose ourselves In what's right in front of us.

If we dreamt in a dream that we were so awake If we woke to realise it was just a dream I lived in a cave and saw the shadows dance From the one source of light at the end of the tunnel Never thought to turn back to see what broke the light

And the edges blur and I ask myself One simple question – to what end? To what end? Where are we going? Why are we going? Why do show up, paint our eyes Change the game and raise the stakes?

If all you know is your perception slowly fading to deception Why do you fight for all of those rights? Why do we scratch but never fail to re-write?

I asked you this question, I asked you this question Why?

And you said Why not?

And I couldn't answer either question. I couldn't answer either question.

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Blurred

As you became Dancing patterns of pixels Three moving dots and a bubble I saw new weird angles and lighting

A chainsawed off A pale, cut-off Imitation of your hesitation.

I needed to be alone Didn't expect an accept- ance with no resistance Why didn't my dance rhyme with yours?

So then I held on much tighter To lightless visions To countless imaginations This lack of vision An absolute lack of direction All with a new revelation.

My dance rhymes with yours now My laughter crackles so loud now Shuffled so it rhymes in the now now Through your tinny speaker And terrible fibers that drive our connection We work that much harder for it now.

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Closed Source

My two eyes I thought my own Spotted a comet in the sky Trailing dust and specks of the moon And I thought it a distraction. But as you straked through the shky In a graceful parabolic curve My eyes followed you.

At first I thought you an offshoot An additional addition A pop-up window in my augmented reality.

And then you landed onto my planet Created a crater in my heart. I thought it a crack I created To fill the others that existed just like it.

And then you rose again And I saw the flame twirling in the periphery As it took center stage. And just like that you rewrote the code And created our brand new virtual reality.

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A Museum Artifact Kind Of Love

A small joy A momentary pleasure Just a thing to gaze upon Convince yourself And make believe It means something real Something of historical significance Once important.

Long forgotten Viewed on occassion Viewed on a long walk A walk in a circle that never ends A train that got off nowhere A new ticket to the past In the warm messy circle of my life.

I'll pick up the dewy gossamer snow globe then Place it my jacket Hope time doesn't play pick pocket So you won't slip away again.

But no, oh no No you can't take it home with you Nestle it in your pocket Or place it in your heart Let it slip Let it stay In the historical museum Of your glassy memory.

Just enjoy the The lingering niggling surviving dewdrops Before they too vaporize, Just like my memories of you.

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Idle Curiosities

Perched on her windowsill, Fourteen stories above the ground Through the glass and hazy mist She felt a vague radiating warmth She saw a chrome glimmer flicker And wondered what it was all about.

Huched over a little fire As the lines of fighting and surviving blurred Like today and yesterday and everyday He glanced up 14 stories high Saw the laser strobes of light And felt so acutely the coldness of her warmth.

Her self-serving self-satisfied Analog states of mind The true highs and fake lows Of a girl on the 14th story His heart beat in binary Or to put it more accurately- Whatever he had left of his heart beat in binary A rusted piston engine grimly at work.

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Train of Thought

“H-h-hey it's me I, uh, just got off the train Buy another ticket?” The panic is coming on strong, “How a-a-are you?” So strong only in my head. “Can-n we talk? ,” Wasn't that hard.

“Didn-nt want to bother you But some-something's been b-b-bothering me.” Performed as rehearsed.

Your eyes crinkle in the dusk, Your forehead wrinkles, Head droops in sorrow, As you rub your temples, And your eyes water in love. Expressed as experienced.

“No, it-it's no big deal” It is a big deal. To me. “L-let's just hit the bar, yes.” Nobody really cares. “Yup, I'll be-I'll be fine.” I won't.

My eyes crinkle in the soft night, My forehead wrinkles, Head droops in sorrow, But my eyes water in broken love. Where are you when I need you?

“Y-you're fine, aren-n't you? How could you not be?” I don't care anymore. “You-you-you” Why is this so hard? “You never cared for me, d-did you?” I throw a poisonous dart into your heart.

I could feel your heart crack and splinter, Before I saw your face aghast, Your eyes wide and arms flailing. You who didn't care for me? Then I noticed the stars didn't seem to align, Something was amiss- You had a hole in your heart too.

“Is-is it about your m-m-mother?” Don't nod. Please don't.

You nod slowly. The medication didn't work. You're orphaned and left alone, And 'all I wanted' was your helping hand.

“I'm so-sorry, I di-didn't know” How could I have known? “I didn-dn't mean to” God, what have I done? “We'll g-get though this. I pr-promise.” Just don't return the venom. Don't. Please don't.

And you say, “You never cared for me, d-did you? Never even bothered to ask”, Returning the venom.

And our hearts crack and splinter, As we silently scream, Our eyes wide and arms flailing, Who will pull out these arrows in our hearts? Where were we when we needed us?

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The Fortress

I could live inside my head Barricade that fortress Then deep underground Drill holes into my heart Watch it crumble to dust And softly fade into the evening.

Sorrow is my soldier Tears are his weapon To serve and to protect The mind's darkest basement.

The more the barbed wires that fence and entangle The more the cuts and pricks, The more the holes my heart has.

To disclose or to close off, This close to breaking down? To tell or to pretend? Or to foretell what I portend? To wear a mask and dissolve my face- Or embrace the underground weeds?

Out of time yet twirling and twisting Is this a downward descent or- Am I climbing the turret?

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Numb Womb

Last night when a star streaked by, I told it I wanted to be numb again.

I remember when I was numb. Like a child in a womb, I was protected and cradled, from the pain that is existence.

But then like a child stepping on a mine, I discovered I had a heart. A drill and a heart with holes, A salt and an open wound, Is like a mind and some memories.

Analysing turned into paralysing, and beliefs turned into illusions. When finally thinking became supressing, I embraced the fake highs and true lows.

But everyday I inch closer, Everday I grow wholer. Everyday I find a new hole.

So when the star streaks by tomorrow, I think I'll ask it for the same old rotten dusty heart.

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