thurs
my day off and it has gone by so fast. seems like i just got out of bed and now its time for my shower and bed. i have no idea where the time has gone today. i did some art. i cleaned the aviary and made dinner and did some laundry. i got my uniform ready for tomorrow. i work evenings tomorrow. i also have my eye appt tomorrow as well. it will be a long busy day. the car needs an oil change so have to make an appt for that soon.
we only got junk mail today. no happy mail for me. i guess you cant have something everyday. maybe tomorrow. i made some cards today most trading i find is done on the weekend so i will have some new cards to offer.
friday
well i went to bed thinking i posted this and i didnt....so will just add on for today.
i am up early to get ready for dr appt. i have to be to work for 1 so it will be a busy day. i work till 9.
saturday
i have been trying to finish this post now for days. seems there is always something else to do, like housework, or work.
yesterday was a long day. i was so glad when it was over. my eye appt went really well. i dont have to go back now. the dr says my eyes have healed really well and my vision is amazing. i am so glad my dr was able save the vision in my right eye. my worst fear is going blind.
i got some happy mail yesterday. another really nice card. i need to get some more out in the mail . i thought i traded one yesterday but she didnt send her address so i am not sure now. maybe she changed her mind.
i am sore and tired this morning. i had a bit of an IBS day yesterday. i didnt have any accidents but it was close. i was wondering if i should keep a change of clothes in the car but where would i wash up really? there is no private bathroom for staff.
when i was at walmart all the xmas stuff is starting to come out. i am thinking yippie another year i wont get to see my kids or grandkids. i hate xmas. i just want it over. i have to work xmas anyhow. dont think the tree will go up again this year. less work for me to do and i dont have to worry about the cats getting into the tree.
we got the shopping done today. it was nice to have some help for a change. didnt buy much just the usual stuff. i have been busy getting cards ready to mail out on monday when i get to work. they will be in the mail by 8am. i have 2 more to get ready and then i am caught up. i have a few new ones to post which i will do over the next few days.
i am going to feed the birds and make a tea...see you all tomorrow.
day 6 of 6 and i am so glad this week is over. i am tired and in alot of pain. i came home after getting some PPE from the office. i brought in the used PPE i had been saving in a bag at home. i showed the office and said i do change my gloves etc. just because no one sees me do it does not mean i dont. seems i was more upset about it than the office. they completely let it go and forgot about it. it is still hard for me to let go but i proved my point and i should let it go now. but that stupid little shit really pissed me off.
i forgot to stop and get my meds. so i guess i will on friday morning when i go for my eye appt. its just for a check up to make sure everything is still ok.
on a happier note i got some happy mail today. i got 2 really nice cards and i also sent out 3 today as well. i needed some relax time this afternoon and designed a couple new cards. they are pretty simple but sometimes less is more. will post them online tomorrow. not much trading going on for me this week. i think people are busy making up some xmas stuff. i have a few up now , but so far no takers. maybe things will pick up next week for trades. i am also re making some cards as well. one of the flower type cards trades well.
so tomorrow i am going to stay home and not go anywhere. i have lots of chores to do and make dinner of course. he wants meat and potatoes. i made stew...isnt that meat and potatoes? i so dont want a slab of meat on a plate.
i was thinking of my kids today. do they think of me at all ? do they wonder how i am doing? have they seen me in the store and not said anything? did they think of me on mothers day or my birthday? i didnt get a call so i guess not. sigh...i miss them and think of them always
its getting late and i am ready for bed see you all tomorrow.
its after work on tuesday. day 5 of 6. i made it through and didnt pass out. so i think i did pretty well. i did some chores , laundry is in the dryer now. i had to wait until the hydro was cheaper to turn it on. the utility companies love to price gouge people thats for sure. i hate them all. they tell us save save save. then when we mange to they raise the rates...assholes.
i got some happy mail today. a really nice card and my order of die cuts. they are small enough i can use them on my trading cards. i got a card ready to mail out today so i can drop it in the mail at work. its very handy having a mailbox there. i often wonder what the mail man thinks when he picks up all the letters i send out to places all over the world . does he wonder who this person is?
the last couple of days i am so hungry late in the day. i dont want to eat yet all i want to do is eat. maybe i am bored. i dont know.
brent works late . so maybe i am missing company. we dont talk much as we dont see each other much. but i dont have much to say anyhow. my days are boring and uneventful. i work and come home in pain. today i fell asleep in my chair, for how long i dont know. my life is boring. the little joy i have in my life is tempered with the fact i have little energy to do anything. i miss the girls so much i try and not think of them. it hurts too much to think of them. it will be another christmas with out them. i dont think we will be putting up the tree this yr. no point really neither one of us really wants to celebrate anything.
we try and make things special but it just falls flat and just does not feel right. i am working christmas anyhow. so i guess it does not matter. i will be doing the usual work on xmas day and feel like shit because i have no family who wants to spend time with me. i hate this time of year. i am old and never thought my kids would hate me.
i am going to bed now . see you all tomorrow....
its stupid o clock. i am very tired and very sore. i can hardly move. its monday and hell day. almost all showers. i hope i dont get a dizzy spell like i did last week. i wish they would keep the hallways cooler so i could bring my body temperature down. if i could do that it would help alot. since i have gone back to work labour day weenend 2 months ago i have lost 10lbs. yes i can stand to loose weight and such but i am loosing it without trying. most of the time i am too hot and tired to want to eat. so i dont.
i also have to go to the bank today and pay my bills in person because the stupid bank machine was not working. what pisses me off the most is they keep saying use the dam thing and when i need to its not bloody working.
i looked out the bedroom window before i came down and we didnt get much snow. thank goodness. its below freezing so the windows will be a challange. scraping the windows hurts my shoulders alot. i use up so much energy just doing that. i hate winter.
much later...
home from work now. after work i went and paid the bills and went to staples and got a new mouse. i dont like the built in mouse on my laptop. i also went to the dollar store looking fo spice jars. none to be had there. and they dont sell spice racks either. i want to organize my spices better but not being able to find what i need is not helping me.
it was a very long day. i can hardly walk now. got all my showers done and everyone is happy. only 2 more days to go. i had some left overs for dinner. i got a store bought dinner for tomorrow. so that is taken care of. its hard to think of something new for dinner everyday when you dont want to cook. i can cook just dont want to.
i wanted to do some art tonight. i am just too tired and can think. so will leave it for tonight. maybe tomorrow will be better. i forgot to get my uniform out for tomorrow too.
time for bed see you all tomorrow....
its sunday ,day 3 of 6 days in a row. i so want to go to the labour board about this split shift thing. mondays are the day from hell and i am going to be tired and cranky and probably in alot of pain too. so not looking forward to tomorrow.
i have stew on the stove for today and bread in the bread machine. i love all my little appliances. they are very helpful for me. i am sure there are more out there that i could use. but i dont think i need any more of them at the moment.
dinner is almost ready. bread however is a washout. i have no idea what i do wrong. i follow the recipe. oh well. least i didnt burn dinner. i got a few things sorted in the pantry. birds are fed and litter box has been cleaned.
there is a weather warning for tonight. i hate winter. the driving sucks. and what i hate most is the clients asking me what the weather is like. i just want to yell ...look out your fucking window asshole. but i dont and say its ok. i am tired and cranky and in alot of pain and you ask me about the stupid weather at 7am. turn on the dam weather channel ffs. i am so tired of the stupid questions. i am not the weather channel.
i traded another card today. so will try and get it in the mail tomorrow. i am really liking the cards i have gotten so far. i wish i had more time to work on my cards.
much later...after work. i am finally home again. there is a storm going on and i am not sure if i will make it to work in the morning. i am tired and fed up with all the BS of work. i want to go to the labour board and see if they can do anything about the split shifts. but like alot of the government offices right now they are probably closed until further notice.
i finished a card before i went to work. i was hoping brent would have taken a picture of it so i could have posted it before bed. i guess i will post tomorrow. i like how it turned out. maybe it will trade well and i will make a few more. alot of the cards being traded now are coming into xmas. i dont do alot of xmas but will try a few different ones and see how they go.
well its late for me and i am getting up early again. time for bed. see you all tomorrow.
its friday and day 1 of six days of work. as you can tell i am excited about it, not. i remember a time when my office wanted me to work 12 days in a row. i said no way and brought in the union contract and said i only have to work 6 days. so the office cut my work days down to 4 with a 3 day weekend. i really didnt mind that. i would probably be still doing that if i hadnt had issues with my eye last christmas. the office does not like me for standing up for myself. i keep telling other workers do not burn yourself out to do this job. its not worth it. you are just another body and they dont give a crap about you. you are replaceable.
speaking of replacing. i need a new mouse. mine crapped out last night. i dont like using the mouse on the laptop , it makes my fingers cramp up. i have to do some errands this weekend so will try and find one when i am out. its also banking day. i am not sure if i should go to the bank today or tomorrow. either way it might be crazy busy and being as there is only one branch of my bank i have to stand inline forever. the bank closed the branch closest to me saying they didnt have enough business. which is a load of crap. the downtown bank was always busy. in todays business economy it seems its always profits before people. even in my job its profits before people. profits before employees too.
much later after work. i am home and very tired and very frustrated. i went to the bank to pay bills and the bank machine is not working . now i have to make another trip piss me off. a client was not happy her sheet was not dry on some of the elastic. so i had to bring the sheet back down to the dryer and wait for it to dry . keeping in mind it was only the elastic. i was not happy i was hoping to make it to the bank before 5 when it closed. today she was just being a pain in the ass. i am sure it would have been dry in a couple of hours. one of the cats knocked my laptop off my tv tray. i am lucky this stupid thing still works. i had to feed the birds and rabbit when i got home. brent was too busy playing his games. i am very tired right now i am going to bed see you all tomorrow.
its my day off..well not really a day off. i still have to work around the house. always lots to do when you dont live alone. i guess i needed alot of sleep last night. i slept 10 hours last night. i felt like the day was half over when i got up. took me awhile to get going. tomorrow i start the 6 day straight shifts. i will be very tired by sunday night as the weeked is all split shift and i dont get enough sleep.
today i need to clean the aviary and make dinner. no idea what to make. i am really beginning to hate cooking. some days i dont care if i eat or not. i am just not hungry or the thought of food makes me sick.
much later, aviary done. muffins made, dishes mostly done, made snack bites for my snack time at work. all of that took most of the afternoon. got my teacups changed finally. i made 2 trades today on cards and glued some backs onto cards. those will stay in the atlas for at least 24 hours to dry flat. then i can send them out.
i had perogies for dinner and some sliced tomatoe. brent is warming up left over pasta. i like perogies for a change and i fry them with lots of onions.
my life is not that exciting thats for sure. i dont have any friends i chat to online. none to go and visit for coffee. i dont talk to many at work except to say hi or good morning. i have learned not to say anything to anyone for fear of being complained about to the office. i am sick of people like that. rather be alone than taken advantage of. but some days it does get quiet and i miss having someone to chat with about same interests. i miss ruth so much. she was the one person i could talk to.
i am going to get my uniform ready for work...see you all tomorrow.
day is finally over and i am home with my tea and my feet up for a bit. i got some of my amazon order today. i ordered 2 books which have some very nice old pictures and i can photocopy for my trading cards. there is no way i will cut up the books. i dont understand how people can do that when there are places to photocopy. the copies look great and you would never know they where copies. also in the order was some die cuts for leaves. so i can add some special touches to cards. i also got 3 trading cards to so and messaged out my thankyous. i have one card to finish and mail out on friday and then i am caught up for mailing. i guess the trading comes in waves. with halloween almost here and xmas around the corner people are probly making xmas cards now.
i got a few chores done and dinner made. i thought i did pretty good since i feel so tired still from the dizzy spell. it always takes alot out of me. i dont know why. there is not a lot known about the ways of fibro. the medical people are still learning about this invisable illness. i am sure if people could see my pain i would be treated alot differently.
what people cant see they dont understand. by the end of the day i cant walk a straight line down the long hallways. i cant walk fast or for a long time. i cant stand very long. i miss all the things i used to be able to do with out pain.
i dont remember a day with out pain any more. i cant remember my life before. i hate that i cant use my good energy at home. i am all used up by the time i get home. i resent it and i am sure brent does too. i am useless most of the time.
i am tired and i am going to bed now...see you all tomorrow.
yesterday was not a good day. i was in alot of pain right from the time i got up. even with pain meds it did not let up. so because i was trying to make it through the day and trying to not show the pain i had a dizzy spell and nearly passed out giving someone a shower. i think it was more scarey for the client then me. the client was out of the shower and i was drying her off and starting to get her dressed when the spell got worse and i needed to sit down. i managed to get through it and get her dressed and set up with her breakfast. mondays are always a very hard day , full of showers and hot bathrooms. makes it very hard on my body. with fibro my body does not regulate temperature anymore. i can be very hot or very cold. there does not seem to be a happy medium anymore.
i then drove a while later to the pharmacy to pick up some cough medicine for brent. he thinks its not acid reflux that is keeping him up at night. i think it is. exact same things happened to me 4 yrs ago. i told him to make an appt to see the dr. but he wont.
i got 2 cards ready to mail out after i sat in my chair with my feet up for a couple of hours. i also made myself a big mug of chicken broth. that sometimes helps as well.
later after work....
i made it through the morning and didnt passout...i got a bit dizzy but managed to hide it. i was able to rest for about an hour before driving to get gas and come home.
brent did a great job cleaning up the kitchen. he also did the bunny cage. i still have some bird cages to do. i still have to make dinner.
later...chores done..dinner done and its time for bed...another early day tomorrow...see you all tomorrow
my last day off for now. i am trying to get a few chores done before tomorrow. brent is on deck for dinner. i still feel sick about being accused of not changing my gloves. i came home with a huge pocketful of gloves on friday night. i showed brent and said here look i change my gloves. i am thinking i should save them all till friday and then toss them on the counter when i go get more gloves. i am so tired of people stabbing me in the back. its like they have no one else to pick on so its me.
i went and got meds yesterday and did a bit of shopping at walmart. what a zoo. i dont think they are limiting the amount of people in the store now. we had a hard time moving around the store and still staying away from people. even though we did our best to distance we both decided it was time to go when our anxiety was getting to high with all the people around. brent is out right now at the hardware store.
with him out i have had a chance to wash a bit of the floor and start a load of wash and do some dishes. seems when ever i try and do something he is always in the way. so i take advantage of him being out when i can. now i wait for the floor to dry.
i did some art this morning and made up 3 new cards to trade this week. its so hard to design something people will like and want to trade for. i know i am supposed to do art for me and do what i love but the idea is to also appeal to some others as well. will see how it goes when i list them. i posted a couple of cards yesterday and so far no takers on them. will wait a couple of weeks and try again.
i have to remember to get my uniform ready for tomorrow in the daylight. its hard to match colours in the dark.
the house is getting cool , time to turn the heat back on for a bit. makes me wonder if the cats are cold. they wont leave me alone. i leave and come back to my chair and they jump right on me and wont leave. i dont mind them being with me but sometimes with their weight on me it hurts.
i really need to find a handyman. there are jobs around here that need to be done and neither one of us can do it. brent will hate spending the money but cant leave things forever.
i had no appitite today. i tried having a sandwich but was only able to eat half. its almost dinner time and i am still not hungry and brent made dinner. roast chicken with dressing. i saw the dressing lets just say i question how it will taste.
we went out for dinner last night. it was sure nice to get out. we didnt go anyplace fancy but we didnt have to cook and that was a bonus. i dont like cooking and never really have. i dont it because i have to. if it was just me i would be making alot of soup and quick meals.
i still have some chores to do before bed. i am feeling tired and sore today. i better get to it....see you all tomorrow....