katelovesorange

its the weekend. brent is having a nap in his chair right now. we went out to the thrift shop and came home. i had a bag of donations and i went and looked for possible things for my art journaling. didnt find anything. we did a quick stop at the local ice cream shop and treated ourselves to a scoop of ice cream. we both love ice cream.

its sunny and i should have put laundry out but there is not enough to fill the washer. maybe tomorrow. i still have lots of chores to do everyday. i am always wanting to do something but its the lack of energy to do it. so i stay in my chair and try and knit. my tension is still good , so my socks still look great.

my eye is doing very well. the eye which i could not see out of is almost clear now. before the removal it was like looking through about 4 sheets of wax paper. so a big change for me.

i really want to finish some of the things i am working on. just the thought of getting it out and working on it seems like so much effort. i wish there was a pill for this fatigue . i slept 9 hours last night and still feel like i didnt sleep much at all.

this disease is sucking the life out of me bit by bit. i see my life fading away and there is nothing i can do to stop it......

i finally feel up to writing today. the dr says the removal went well. i had a post op check this morning and he says its healing well and to come back in 3 weeks. so i go back in mid aug. it still makes me sad that my kids dont call to check up on me . not once have they called to see how i was doing after my retna detached in dec.

makes me wonder if they will even be there when i die, at this point i would say probly not.

my voice is bad today .my acid reflux is bad. my hips are so sore. it feels like there are spikes in my joints . i can hardly walk today. i still have chores to do and to finish dinner. i want to nap. its not a good day for me pain wise. i have no idea how i will feel when i need to get a psw to come in and help me with basic things...like getting dressed, or showering.

i did go visit a neighbour across the road for a tea. we sat outside and chatted. it was good to visit someone again. i was only out for an hour but still nice to sit outside for a bit with out feeling like i was being watched by the neighbour we are having the issue with.

i miss sitting outside and listening to the birds and watching the small animals moving around in the yard.

i will go see the optomitrist in a couple of weeks to get the other lens in my glasses done. hopefully it will be the final step to me being able to see clearly again. i am doing good right now for it being barely 24 hours . the dr said it should get better over time. i am just glad he had no issues getting the cataract out . i was scared the whole time and kept thinking i wish i had a book to listen to. it would have helped keep my mind off what they where doing. but i made it and thats all that counts.....

late start to my entry today. i am tired and worried about tomorrow so didnt sleep well. i got most of my chores done and now its almost time to start dinner.

one of my cats has taken a liking to the rabbit. being as i leave the cage open for the rabbit to come and go the cat goes inside to keep the rabbit company i suspect. i think the rabbit likes having a friend in his house now and then.

i have been so worried about tomorrow i could not focus enough to do an art page. it has been a few days since i finished one. i do miss spending time on it but when i cant focus on it there is no point in trying.

i am not sure if i will have the energy to write a message tomorrow, so if i dont, i will see u soon....

the cat eventually came home yesterday. i never thought i would have a cat that answers to his name but loki came home and i shut the door very fast before he could change his mind and go back out. i think maybe he was hoping one of his brothers would have escaped with him so they could go on an adventure in the backyard. i think he got kinda bored being out there alone. he didnt go far. i hear him meowing when i called him. he is now sleeping inside the rabbit cage. somedays i really wish i could know what animals think. i think something like that would make a fun book....

a busy day today so far. got my errands done and shopping. it was busier than i thought it would be. i was hoping it could find the big packs of lunch meat but none to be had. brent likes his meat sandwiches.

somedays i wish brent would just leave well enough alone. today when bringing the shopping in he left the door open and one of the cats got out. so now i am waiting for the cat to come back . another thing that makes me crazy is he stands there with the frig open. its summer and hot in the house and he stands there with the frig open. grrrrrr. then there is all the stuff he leaves on the counter , the stuff he takes out to make snacks . some days i feel like i am cleaning up after a teenager.

on the up side today the rabbit peed on me. sigh brent thought he would be helpful and go and cut some grass for the rabbit. he put the grass in but didnt clean the cage first. sigh. why is it men just dont THINK? he makes so much more work for me. some days i wonder if i would be better off single, but then i get up and walk to the bathroom and remember he will be the only one to look after me when i cant.

it is going to be a long recovery today. i was out about 3 hours . i came home asap as the pain was getting bad and i was starting to feel sick. i didnt stop at micheals or staples. i can always do that another day. i didnt go to value village either. i had another donation to drop off. i am going to need extra pain meds today. my hips are just killing me. feels like there are spikes in my joints. i get some relief when i sit in my chair and put my feet up. takes some of the pressure off my back too. my hands are better today. at least i can type today. i learned to tough type when i was in high school on a manual typewriter. it was hard the keys are so far apart , but i passed the course but i never wanted to work in an office.

i never knew what i wanted to do in life. when my mother was in the hospital yrs ago i was helping to care for her. the head nurse on the floor said i should go into nursing. i thought it was a huge compliment but too late in life for me. i was nursing my dying mother for 3 months. we where never close but i am sure she put up with me being there so she could have some company.

i am working on a pair of ankle socks for brent. got the first one almost done . will have to get brent to try it on for fit before i make the 2nd one.

in a couple of days i go to have surgery on my eye. i am not sure if i will be up for posting on that day. i am still nervous and worried about losing the sight in my eye.....

a late start to my writing today. i am having a hard time keeping focused. lots of brain fog today. so i will try for a short entry today.

so i put out laundry hoping it would not rain. well it did rain for a bit and now the sun it out....sigh. so into the dryer the sheets will go. i soaked the pillowcases in some tsp and it got out a lot of the yellow look.

i am still in a lot of pain today but at least i got the aviary done and changed the bunny cage paper. apollo is pretty quiet. i leave the door open and he can come out if he wants. he knows how to climb in and out but chooses to stay inside for now. i gave him a bit of a brush today too. gonna take forever to save enough fur for a sweater.

my hands are very stiff today. the back of my left hand feels like it has been hit with a hammer. i also have to get my rings off for my eye surgery on thurday. i am still nervous about it even though i know what will happen. its my vision after all. it will be nice however to see clearly with glasses out of both eyes.

so if all goes well it means i could be back at work in about 3 weeks if i get any hours. not sure what they will do with me now that i have been off for so long.

i am going to close for now as my hand is too sore to keep typing, see you tomorrow

how does one get past the feeling of being useless? when i am in pain i cant do much of anything. i still have to get the basics done but on days like this doing chores makes the pain worse. i prefer one pot dinners as its easier for me to make, like stews and soups etc.

for today i might make a quick pasta dish. i love homemade bread from the bread machine. see if i have a chance to set the machine up later.

the bunny is doing well and the cats are not paying any attention to him. he is only 8 weeks old, so i guess he will grow a bit more. not sure how much he weighs but he reminds me of a small kitten. funny to watch him hop around too.

the wind is up again. we had a storm this morning so maybe we are in for more rain. least i dont have to water tonight.

i am missing the kids today. the weekends was always the time we would touch base. they know nothing about my life now. they know nothing about my health and what i am going through. if i didnt have brent i would not have made it through the detached retna. we had to drive 4 hours out of town to the dr. so because of that we rented a car and stayed in a hotel.

i enjoyed getting away for a day or so but always felt nervous about being away because of what is going on with the neighbours. brent hired a guy to help him move the railway ties and he sliced off about ½ in to make it compliant. so i am hoping its over and done with now. but until we hear from his lawyer we dont know for sure.

its time to feed the birds and shower and bed.

i will see you tomorrow....

its the weekend and the weather is hot and humid again . there is a 30c humidex. so most of the day i spend under the fan.

we went and got the bunny today. he is very cute and so small. the lady who sold him to me said he is about 8 weeks. i guess he has some growing to do still. i named the bunny appollo. i think the name suits him.

brent thinks the bunny should be in the living room. i am not so sure. i like him in the back room with the birds. he thinks its too dusty. i think he will be fine for now. he was been well handled and likes to be petted. i put him on the floor for the cats to see and wonder if they think of him as a live play toy.

i made up some snack bites today. they are out of dried fruit and nuts. i like them. i find something like that is one of the things i can eat and not feel sick after.

i took a gummy last night and then went to bed and slept 6 hours straight. it has been a long time since i slept that long at once. i also was not in that much pain when i woke up. discomfort yes, severe pain not so much. i have noticed my mood has improved as well. which is a good thing when you live with someone.

though eating for me is an issue. i dont want to , but i have to because of my meds. i eat just enough so my meds dont make me throw up. everyday its always in the back of my mind what can i make for dinner that will stay down.

i think tonight is an early night...starting to feel very sleepy.

will close here for now and see you tomorrow

brent working from home is really putting a crimp into my routine. i am sure he likes not having to leave the house but trying to get things done while he is wondering around is hard. now i need to think of something for dinner and once again i am not hungry. apparently its not unusual to loose your urge to eat when you are in a lot of pain. when i do want something to eat its something like soup , or a sandwich. something small and simple. i love hummus and crackers but that does not go over well for dinner with brent. tried to explain to him that hummus has protein and crackers can be the carb, but he has his mind set on a hunk of meat.

its sunny today so may have to water later. i need to cut the rest of the dill and dry it . that grew really fast too. i am still hoping for some tomatoes after the deer got into the garden and had lots of snacks on the plants.

well time to get back to the chores...floors are dry. dishes are done . still no idea what i want for dinner. still not hungry.

so i made some packet noodles for dinner with some crackers and a homemade v8 juice. it filled the hole i guess.

watered the garden and did some weeding. i saved the clover for the rabbit. i am drying some on the porch. i also have the dove pair i am selling in their own cage now. ready to go when i go get the rabbit.

i didnt nap today, so i am very tired now. see you tomorrow....

i was up this morning because of the pain in my hips. my blood sugar shows i am in pain it was 10.5. so now i am waiting for pain meds to kick in so i can go do something. it is a very dark and gloomy morning. we did get some rain yesterday, for about 5 min last night. we are supposed to get rain today . so we shall see. not sure on what to make for dinner yet. i am inclined to soup today. i would probably have soup 4 or 5 times a week if i could get away with it. its quick and simple and healthy. most of the soup i have i made myself. so it would be good to use those up as well.

when i was in the grocery store yesterday i noticed a man not wearing his mask properly so i told him it has to go over your nose to work. he gets all pissy and says its too late i says its not and my immune system is compromised so i need to wear a mask . i dont think he understood what i was trying to say in this brief conversation. the ironic thing is his car was next to mine when i went to load the groceries in the car. he never said a word to me and i avoided him. sometimes no matter how many ways or times you try and explain something people just dont get it.

its been raining on and off all day. we really do need the rain. i am going to have to start doing chores before brent starts work. i run out of energy too early to keep going. right now i am fighting to stay awake. i am to the point some days where i need a nap.

i forgot to post this earlier...brain fog is bad today....see you tomorrow

i was up early again today. not because i had to pee, but because the cat was barfing a furball beside the bed. yuck. got that cleaned up and came downstairs. today is shopping and errand day and it is supposed to rain sometime today. guess i will believe it when i see it. i am going to be very tired later. will need something simple for dinner.

when writing my penpal letter this week i noticed my hands are shaking so much that it is making my writing worse than usual. will have to start typing out letters soon i suppose.

i watered and did some weeding last night. we have lots of brown eyed susans in the garden so i cut some for inside. i cut some dill to dry as well. i didnt plant the dill it just showed up. i can live with that as well as the surprise tomato plants.

i am back home now. most of the shopping is put away . brent helped to bring it in from the car. i took my meds and a gummy. i am feeling better pain wise now. i am so very tired right now. i think i was only out 2.5 hours.

i have noticed that just sitting still sometimes helps with the pain. like lying down and not moving. for me its the not moving. as long as i dont have to move much i am reasonably ok. i can make it to the bathroom in time kind of ok.

sausage on a bun for dinner. then i am going to try and stay awake long enough to get the birds fed. the fog is bad today. i get up to do something and forget what i am going to do. there are days when i can fall asleep on a dime. i once fell asleep knitting.....

see you tomorrow