katelovesorange

another cool morning. i was up early again ,6am. meds taken , tea made and now i am waiting for pain meds to kick in. then its chores . sun is out so i will have to water later. been doing some research on my orchids. seems they are very happy where they are in the bathroom. one has a flower spike. another has a shoot, meaning once it has roots i will have another plant. all of them are growing new leaves, and i can use banana peels to make a fertilizer for them.

so i took out some meat from the freezer yesterday. it is a pork picnic shoulder. there is no way it will fit in a slow cooker. so it will have to go on the stove , and i will have to keep a close eye on it so it does not boil dry. i still dont have much of an appetite , i have lost about 3lbs in the last few weeks. which for me is a good thing.

tomorrow is shopping day, grocery and errands. so pizza will not be an option for dinner as brent went and bought pizza on sunday. will have to find something else quick. i will be too tired to care about eating tomorrow.

i am still not doing well today. felt sick most of the day. made dinner though and its ready now. so brent can eat when he is ready. i had a small plate. if i dont eat my meds later will make me feel worse. i have been taking the pot gummies every other day. 2micrograms per gummy. it sure has helped pain wise. still have a crappy memory but at least i can walk to the bathroom with out wondering if i will make it. i will continue to use them until they dont help anymore.

anyone who is in constant pain knows they will do anything to get rid of the pain. i am not pain free but i can live with it today. i can shower and make dinner . i can write a letter . i can write in my blog....

monday .....another week another chance to change things. i am up early again. made coffee and tea. took my meds and now waiting for them to kick in so i can start chores. todays aim is to get the aviary done and floors. i have to find something for dinner. i should water the plants too.

all the cats are having their morning nap now. they where all over me yesterday. after the heat wave i think they were making up for lost cuddle time. i dont mind it so much in the winter when they help keep me warm. summer well it does get a bit warm with all of them with me.

with the weather being cooler now i can get back to my knitting , if only my hands where not so stiff. i will start small and work my way back up. after not knitting on a regular basis my hands have really stiffened up. i keep knitting so i can do things .

with the fibro i have noticed how much my hands shake too. they shake alot some days. my grandmothers hands shook alot too. makes me wonder if she had fibro or was it age related. i will never know as she has passed on.

i made muffins and bacon and tomato sandwiches for lunch yesterday. so will have a muffin and a tea later after doing the birds. i always have a problem deciding something for dinner. what sounds good in the morning may not sound good at dinner time. with fibro there is the constant battle of nausea. i can feel ok one minute and crappy the next. the books say that a great amount of pain can cause this. i believe them. so some days i can eat no problem and others its like keep that food away from me.

i have been in pain for so long that my tolerance is getting higher for it. so when i feel the pain now it must be bad. i know i am in pain and just put up with it and carry on. most days i dont have a choice because if i dont do it , it does not get done.

time for shower and then maybe an art page. see you tomorrow.....

a late entry today. not much to say . stayed home and did some chores .

2 surprise babies. i thought i got all the eggs but i guess i didnt. they are tan or brown doves. a few days old and good parents. i check on them from afar. they grow so fast that you could set up a camera and take pictures every minute and make a movie.

i did a bit of knitting today. hands are sore so did a few rows. still feeling low mood wise. so this will be a short entry.

we spent a very quiet day at home waiting for a storm that so far has not come. it has started to cool down i can feel that but its still humid. i hope we have a better nights sleep tonight.

i did a few chores the usual , dishes and laundry . tonight i make hamburgers for dinner.

we didnt go anywhere today. we didnt have any plans to. i have no desire to go out anymore. where would we go? if i have to go out its for errands nothing more.

i often wonder does anyone wonder about me. do they wonder if i am ok or not. if i am alive or not. if i am happy or not. do others think of me as i think of others?

my world is small and quiet. very little sparks my imagination these days. my depression varies in its intensity. today is a low day.

i was up late this morning. i am thinking its the heat still. the heat is supposed to break tonight. i hope so. the humidex is 40c again today. i dont think i will be turning the oven on or stove. just the thought of it is making me sweat more. if the summers continue like this we are going to have to put in air conditioning. we wont have a choice when we get older. its just too hot for older people and for those that care for them.

so i got some fun mail yesterday. a letter from out in BC . i am working on a reply now. based on the postage date it took 2 weeks to get here. so will get it off in the mail asap. so it gives me an idea of how many letters i may or may not get in a month. no mail today. no bills at least.

its so hot right now i cant wear my glasses as i am sweating so much onto them. i didnt even spend much time on my collage pages. it was just too hot so early in the day. its clouded over right now so i am hoping we get a good rain soon.

one of the big hanging nesting baskets fell down overnight. no birds died but 2 where trapped. i freed them and emptied the nesting materieals as it was getting heavy again. so it will be awhile before the birds settle again. oh and yesterday i found a surprise baby. i really try and make sure the eggs are removed but sometimes i do miss some. but on the bright side it will be a light coloured dove. maybe a light tan. we shall see in a couple of weeks when the feathers are more grown in. right now it has this amusing light fuzz on it.

i really miss knitting. for me its just so hard to knit when it so hot. everything it just so sticky.

i am not even eating during the day. no appetite in this heat. i make a cold sandwich and that is about it and drinking lots of water. no tea during the day, just my morning cup of tea.

not sure if i will be watering the garden later . i thinking i hear distant thunder. i look at the gardens and think how lucky those plants are. they get a space to grow. all the need is sun and water to live. no worries about bills or how to pay the rent . no worries on how the kids are. plant seeds could be any place , but a plant does its best to produce the best seeds possible and send them into the world knowing they will be the best plant possible.....

another heat warning today. humidex will be near 40c. so will be only doing what i have to and staying under the fan. the heat is supposed to break on sat. the heat just sucks all the energy out of me. but i am sure i am not the only one who is having problems because of the heat.

so tonight i will be doing some watering and weeding . i am not good at keeping up with the weeding. but some is better than none.

as i have said to brent i feel like i am trapped in my own house because of the neighbours. they challanged the property line and brought in lawyers. so this has been going back and forth for 2 summers now. we cant even sit outside and enjoy the yard without feeling like we are being watched. i want to put up a 12 foot cement block wall just to be done with it. i am sick of these people nit picking everything we do. so we have no chickens, and practically no gardens . there is just a few tomatoes and squash nothing more. the flowers are doing ok. but like any of the gardens need to be weeded. i keep all the birds i do have in the house. we used to have an outdoor aviary but the neighbours put an end to that when the complained about how noisy the doves where. i would beg to differ on that. i think their stupid rat dogs are more noisy than my birds are. so the big aviary was torn down . i would like to build another one and have it more attached to the house where the birds can go in and out at will. a project way down the road i guess.

today i will work on some chores and maybe an art page before it gets too hot. the sunroom is shaded right now so its not too bad in there.

my days are numbered now. in about 4 weeks i could be back at work if they give me any hours.

the daisies are blooming in the garden now. such a simple flower yet perfect no matter where it ends up. it thrives and makes its own small space its own. i only wanted a simple life with family, a home, and someone special. i guess like meatloaf once said 2 out of 3 aint bad......

very early start to the day. i was up at 530 for bathroom break. decided to stay up as i didnt think i could get back to sleep anyhow. but so far i feel ok. after all that walking yesterday. i think that gummy was a huge help.

made tea and coffee and soon will start chores before it gets too hot again. it is supposed to be 36c humidex. so very hot again. i had a cold shower last night before bed and i really think that helps alot in bringing the body temperature down before sleep. brent wanted me to go to the farmers market today to get some goat milk. i am not sure i ever want to go there again. too many people there with dogs who cant control them at all. i dont want to be that person the dog bites just because he is pissed at someone else. so i didnt go. i will think on it some more.

today is also my youngest grand daughters birthday. i will not get to see or talk to her to wish her a happy birthday. i didnt get her a card or present. no point really. i miss the kids so much. wish i knew how much longer this was going to go on for.

i worked a bit on an art collage page . its too hot to stay in the sun room any longer. i am almost caught up to the currant week of collage pages. its nice to work on a project that is quick. most of the things i work on take so long , weeks or months even.

i think it going to be a light dinner tonight. western sandwich and maybe a salad. see how i feel.

no fun mail today. maybe tomorrow....

its late in the day now. went out early and spent 5 hours doing errands. least its done for the week. i didnt do the thrift shop drop off. maybe next week. i was getting too tired and it was getting very hard to walk. so came home and brought what i could in the house. i had to have something to eat and drink of water. i also took some of the pot gummi, still tasted bad. then i had a 10 min nap which really helped .

there was a short thunderstorm. but at least i wont have to water tonight. dont think i have the strength right now. well the rain didnt help with the heat either. you know its hot when you find one of the cats sleeping in the bathtub.

no art time right now as sitting in the chair would make the pain worse. my days revolve around how much pain i am in. its it a good day or crappy day. can i do this or that or nothing at all.

it took me 6 hours to recover from being out 5. pain is down and i watered. it didnt rain long enough for the rain to really sink in to the dirt.

so i had 7 stops today. staples to photocopy, post office to get stamps, i just about shit when i was told the price to send a post card overseas. it cost 2.71 per card. i had 2. good thing i will be mailing about once a month depending on turnaround time. the ladies who want the postcards are collecting them. so i write a note and drop it in the mail. see how long this lasts for. i was hoping for a letter this week. so far nothing.

its still too hot for me to knit. i went to micheals today and bought some yarn 50% off . i am hoping its enough to make a short sleeved sweater. so far i have enough yarn to make about 3 sweaters for me. i am not knitting for others anymore. i was hoping to be almost done all my sock yarn but with this heat it has come to a grinding halt.

i picked up the drops for my eyes today too for my surgery on the 23rd. i have to start them a few days before and continue for weeks after.

several more stops before i came home and could hardly walk. now its time to shower and try and cool down for bed and hopefully get some sleep.....

i really slept in this morning. i had about a 9 hour sleep. so not bad. i didnt have to get up and go pee either. so that was great. i think with the heat and i sweat so much lately i didnt have enough to pee. with fibro your body cant properly regulate temperature anymore. so i am really hot or freezing cold and not much in the middle. winter is very hard on me as i can never feel warm until i hit the shower at night.

seems nothing sparks my creativity right now. i have lost the desire to create anything. i dont know whats wrong with me. i usually jump at the chance to sit and knit. right now all i am doing is playing games on facebook and writing on here. i believe the writing is helping, kind of therapy i guess right now in this time of pandemic. at this point i wonder if random feedback on my posts would help me or not. there used to be a blog page that would allow people to comment. it closed down hence why i am here. i have started a book and not even interested in reading it right now.

already got some chores done. its going to be another hot day. the heat wont break until the weekend. so its going to be a long week. no idea what to make for dinner that wont heat up the house...or at least the kitchen.

so its pasta for dinner and cake for later. i am not overly hungry but brent will be. his hours have changed , he works now 130 to 830. he will finish when i am ready for bed. well at least one of us is working. i am still fearful of going back to work with my eye problems and the covid going around. driving is not my favorite thing to do right now either. tomorrow is errand day so far its 6 stops. so i hope to only be out a couple of hours. Maybe i will stop for lunch again....

its sunday and i have been up since 6am. brent has gone fishing and i am enjoying a quiet cup of tea while i wait for my meds to kick in. i didnt make a cake yet as its been too hot. might try today. we had rain last night. not sure how much though.

todays plans include chores and not sleeping all afternoon. that afternoon nap yesterday prevented me from going to bed at my usual time as i was not tired enough to sleep.

maybe i will have some time to work on a collage page today too. i dont know when brent will be home from fishing. he didnt take any coffee or snacks from home so i guess he is buying them on the road.

i went down to the basement last night to look for a jar of carrot cake jam for the cake i want to make. i know i have lots of them but could not find any . after brent built the shelving for me he decided he wanted to help me by putting things on the selves....well he was not so helpful as i dont know where anything is and the shelves are not labled. so i move a few things around and wonder how i will ever get this sorted.

he did the same thing when the pantry was built. he could not leave well enough alone like i told him too. i went to bed and when i got up the next morning he had moved things into the pantry with out asking what or where i wanted it. now instead of fighting about it i just move it out and replace it with what should have been in there to begin with....my canning. i had the shelves put in a certain way to be able to hold the jars. in the pantry he put in all the boxes and bags of dry goods. NONE of the canning. i was livid. we fought about it for days. so since then i have been slowly changing things to how i want it. it would have been so easy to let me do it in the first place. he also rearranged all my pyrex and corning ware. i just about lost it. i hate when he moves things around and wonders why i get upset when he does.

so today i do what i can when i can. right now i am dealing with nausea again. will eat my cereal and take my meds and hope it will go away soon.

we are going out for dinner tonight. cake is made and finished. the phone still remains quiet. no nap this afternoon but pain level is managable for now. started my shopping list for the week and wondering if i will get a letter in the mail tomorrow....