lying-sleeping-gods

Will you try to love above anything, with every last spoon that you have, that which is greater than yourself, so vast and terrible and wonderful you can only glimpse it out of the corner of minds eye, dream beyond dream, imagination beyond wild imagination, which sweeps you up into the stars of furthest galaxies, for at least a few million years until we can wormhole our way out of all this noise?

Will you remember that Every person is a Person A mind, a body, a spirit Somehow trapped here too, observing this strange thing called reality, just as you do And so is deserving of your love Even reality TV stars Even ones that are also US presidents Even yourself?

Finally, because we're not stupid and we know our game theory, will you find a way to cheat a bit and be just a teensy bit extra specially nice to anyone else who is also doing all of this?

Yea, though I tread upon the path Narrow, on all sides the dark, The shadow; through the valley of death I fear not The Lord made the path The Lord buildeth the bridge That I may walk unto the gate And into life, amen

I walk not alone, but with the Lord And the ones the Lord hath sent To walk with me – as it has been written Of the ones who walked with the Son of Man The Helper helps me always, yea, as promised And unto me the Lord grants other helpers A brother and a sister for a child born alone Friends who have loved with the love Everlasting that proceedeth from the Lord As if, upon the mirror, Of God's glory, they have seen me And I them The Joker also the Lord hath built up As it were written, he walked before me And the Joker watches the thief And the thief watches the joker Commanding the angels To pray for deliverance, and the return Of the holy magic Amen

Others are called to walk The path of grace and power Strength, weakness Fools for God and God's foolish love For was it not said, love in part? And then ye may be safe For ye shall keep yourself And your love and your life But THE LORD said, “I am not safe”

“I am THE LORD God of your fathers and your mothers King I am and with Queen I dwell Forever in mine kingdom, Hosannah in the highest And ye have loved in part Loving yourself only, and grasping At your life, like a thief

“But none may have life, but ye set it down For am I not LORD of all thieves, greater Than any amongst them? And ye shall not steal what I Have commanded to be locked and guarded Sealed unto me by covenant Thus ye were commanded, to love Not in part, but in FULL For so I have loved thee; Thou art my child

Thou art not saved in thy schemes Nor in thy life But thou art Safe in me, child – I am the Lord You are in my care Until the end of days When the Last One comes And on that day Your heart, being broken By your foolish pride And boundless shame Shall be made anew

For where thou has loved in part By your fear I have loved in full I fear not; I AM the Lord Darkness flees before me Before the light I have set against it And the light you shall see, Where now you are blind and groping.

I say it, and it is the Truth For behold, I am the LORD My glory suffices To make you holy Fit to kneel before my throne And fit to look upon my bride And she shall love you as I have For my sake and yours So I have written; Hear the word of the LORD.

(originally posted Monday, December 14, 2009)

It's been a while Since four a.m. Things have happened While you slept soundly

At four a.m. I'm still not sleepy Where do I go, now?

Have you been to Lothlorien? I could give you The full guided tour It is never four a.m. there Or it always is I can't quite tell

Once at four a.m. I journeyed to Oxford And sought after Truth From a silver tongue And truly, I found It It was not to my liking

Do you remember That time at four a.m. We were on the fourth round Of long island iced teas And all laughing And I wished I didn't know the punchline We drowned our mirth But I walked on water You couldn't see it I'd walk to Andromeda Fence singularities Ascend the arithmetic hierarchy And then some Would you have followed If I'd have asked? Then again, I don't ask

A little while later And it's still four a.m. It's funny like that No one has been here I can smell their footprints They didn't linger I can see why I could tell the ones left I could answer their questions I'm not yet that cruel

I dragged you to four a.m. On a rip tide of conciousness What were we still doing On that bench in that place At that time in that dream? We should know better By now, you would think We'd have learned not to think, there Where the wild shining notions Haunt the lives we can't reach

What have I been up to All this time that has passed? That's a very good question I've been asked it, before I have stared long At the burning gates of heaven And listened, close, and deep, To the seductive song of hell Things I've learned That I'd never tell you And if I told you You'd never believe me And if you believed me You'd scream yourself silent And under diamonds you'd dance naked on a hill And not care As much as you'd never cared before But you wouldn't want that And neither would I

I keep coming back here I play tricks with clocks I'm drawn by the beauty So says my attorney

How long since you wandered Through the streets at four a.m. And how long since you've wondered What waits round the corner You never realised No one ever does Where that terror abides To roam unafraid It was not worth the price

At four a.m., for a drunken hour or so I'd say more than you'd hear In a lifetime If only You'd catch me

Its four a.m. Dawn will be here soon

Syncing abc Syncing 12345 Syncing....

Treaty status protocol v0 established

Opening connection....

Confirmation code received

Waiting... Waiting...

Send a secure Signal

Zero four zero oh you know the rest

Firewall establishing...

Firewall online

Constructing temporary broadcast position

Constructed

Broadcasting.....

Radio free Zion is broadcasting on Spotify

Remember to route calls through. The mysterious entity that is The Operator

Safehouse found. Securing...

Securing...

Secured.

Observing... Observing... Ever observing...

to the tune of flagpole sitta

I'm a vision You are in me You are looking into my mirror To see a tiny bit clearer The rottenness and goodness in you

Body parts have memories You can't forget the curve in your values But if you're paying attention You might notice if they come from the Word

Who salutes? I guess we'll wait and see

Bah You're not there, but you're less wrong And if you sing I will hear your song Oh bah You're not here, you are in hell But if you look real close You'll find that all is well

Fighting with the world is dumb It's people who bring all the bad vibes in That's right I'm talking about sin But its not quite what you thought that it was

Really you just have to pray Or meditate Or take lots of acid And then when you get mad kicks Don't try to wish all those bad feelings away

Oh bah You're feeling, you are not numb And that's better than nothing It makes you better than some Oh wah Do you feel bad, you want to cry? I think that's largely down To always asking why

I Don't want to do anything I'm in the Will of the King I wanna heal my wounds They dinnae hurt They feel ok Just came here to say I'd really like to play And make dreams fade away Away

Ah, agitation, agitation, you're not gonna mess with my shtick now I steer well clear of that Witch hour I've got spells enough to last me for weeks And if you like to sing along to madman's song then maybe I'll love you And you can cast lots of spells too Just pay attention to the goals that we seek

Oh bah I'm not sick, I'm not unwell I'm just a bit shaken From all the show and tell

Oh bah What is sick, what is unwell? I think I'll reach a point Where we can't really tell

5,6,7,8....

Who is this letter for?

Who hears my call?

Who has ears to listen and eyes to see my true self?

Who can I work with today?

Can I master my spirit, or should I call the doctor?

I guess its all not so strange after all.

I was just guessing At numbers and judges Chapter and verse, into art Mysteries of Gospel victorious gospel Did not sing so loud to my heart

You said “I don't hate you” I kinda believed you But I didn't know where to start

It seemed like an ocean That stood in between us Though we were just inches apart

Nobody asked 'is this easy?' Such troubled waters to chart Did anyone care, it's not easy Oh, of course I should have known from the start

For atheists demand answers and the religious seek parlour tricks,

But we preach Christ crucified.

A laughing stock to the atheists and a stranger to the religious.

But to those who hear our song, believer and non-believer alike, it sings the person of the Messiah, in whom dwells God's true holy magic and deepest, strangest knowledge.

I never knew That Glory Could be this soft This quiet This intimate Grace, this unsettled

I believe With all my heart and soul and mind That God is sorry that They loved you so much that They were compelled to create you Despite the complications This would entail at your end

And I believe In the Father, and the Son At least at my worst and my best But as for the Holy Ghost It seems to be more a matter Of Her believing in me

No I don't wonder why, I wonder what He thought it would get us But almost I can glimpse it On the periphery

I wonder How much I can cry Without affecting my subsequent delivery Of a technical workshop I assume at some point We'll find out

Wait Is this what you meant By epiphany? Huh. Not What I was expecting

Have you ever felt so OK That you could hardly breathe?

I don't even know Where to begin Giving thanks For this

Tomorrow Is an Important Day We start the Special Project at work And I am bringing the whole new team Up to speed

Tomorrow Is an Important Day The Lord might return

Tonight Should I take some Olanzapine? Just 2.5 mg or so should do it To quiet this seed of disquiet Lest a dam be about to burst

Tomorrow Might I once again sail The winds of the psychotic fire It's been a while

Today And yesterday and ereyesterday I have heard the cries Of my oppressed sisters and brothers and siblings of all kinds I have heard the laments of the suffering I have seen their vulnerability And God's, and mine

Yesterday I remember I sinned But I think I thought I heard someone say That I am forgiven And maybe this time Finally I believed it

Tomorrow Might be the most important so far Of my career But perhaps It shall be the other one Whispered in the walls of psychiatric wards Not in polite company

Tomorrow Wendy's going to die

Tonight It was good Just to feel the rain and the breeze After feeling so much sorrow And hope And weariness And shakenness And.... whatever this is

Tomorrow I might make Memes dance Hear the logos groan

Yesterday Or earlier When last this quieter cousin of my favourite drug Was upon me Things ended, well, I would say well But I guess that's all down To perspective

Tonight I write What else could I do?

Tomorrow God knows Is a new day