There really is no way to sugar coat this. If you have ever been through a messy breakup, my heart truly goes out to you. If you haven’t, I sincerely applaud you. Marriage is simply hard work and isn’t always fair; however, it is totally and completely worth it, when it works and you are married to the right person.
One thing for certain, is that time truly heals a broken heart. Yup, even the hearts that were brutally wounded. I know that this may sound cliche but time has allowed me the chance to reflect. I am happy to say that I can actually laugh about some things.
Not all things, c’mon I am a Scorpio afterall.
I have had time to heal and plenty of it. Time has allowed me the chance to slowly process the pain and betrayal of a terrible marriage and a broken family.
I no longer get stuck on ugly words and hateful actions. I can now see past all this ugliness and that is something worth celebrating.
So if your going through a rough patch remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You will get through this and come out even stronger at the end, this I can promise you.
Rewind nine years ago and I would certainly not have found anything about my divorce remotely funny. I am just now able to start to laugh at some of the craziness. I had a few scorned ex wife moments myself but for the most part I am proud of how I handled myself.
Good lord those were some trying times and man was I challenged, every step of the way.
I strategically decided to stay put in the matrimonial home with the boys. This was the best way to provide stability for the kids and so we stayed. I desperately wanted a new space to call my own but moving just wasn’t an option. So I sat patiently and if you know me this was a massive challenge. I waited two long years until it was finally agreed that the house could go up for sale.
This moment symbolized not only that there was movement in the divorce proceedings but also gave me a taste of real independence.
The house was never my home and it always felt like I was housesitting. I tried to add my personal touches over the years but it just wasn’t me. The neighborhood was stuffy as we lived on a golf course. This was not my scene and I always felt that this was only ever his dream, never mine. The house was now needing repairs and a fresh coat of paint and of course this all landed on me.
Gord my new husband, was a longtime childhood friend. Shortly after the separation, Gord had taken his shot with me and I was simply in no place to date. This did not deter him and so he continued to pursue me and thank goodness he did. He joined us for our first Christmas after the breakup and he has never left since. This year will be our ninth Christmas as a family.
The two of us worked hard painting and prepping the house to go up on the market. We ended up staging the home because we made the exciting decision to move even before it sold. The home still had furniture and all of the special touches to make it looked well loved and lived in. It was just simply the right time to leave and none of us looked back. The house was also priced right and we were expecting a quick sale. We had multiple showings but never got any offers. The home was in great condition but yet we continued to have issues during showings, something just didn’t add up.
The first complaint was that the house smelled badly. The reason for the smell was that there was a number two left in the toilet for days and the culprit never even flushed. Keep in mind that there was no toilet paper either so they also never wiped.
Who the hell would do this?
I was started to get the feeling that this shit was left just for me.
The second complaint was similar but this time thank goodness it was just a number one; however, it still sat in the toilet for days and smelled up the house. This was also during the summer so the house was hot and you can imagine the stench.
Not really the vibe that what we were going for.
My friend and agent was floored and said these kinds of things really don’t happen at showings.
Now things started to escalate as someone had cut three of our high definition cables from our flatscreen televisions.
This was clearly intentional. I had a strong suspicion that it was him except it didn’t really make sense. He had no keys to the house and had no possible access into the home. That is except if he pretended to be a potential buyer or had a friend do his dirty work for him.
Then the bathroom toilet had the water hose cut. Thank heavens we had just made the decision to turn the water off as a precaution. We could have had a flood.
The buying agents also claimed to have no idea what was going on either.
This hurt the sale of the house no doubt and he had even more to loose by the house not selling.
So the big question is why? I have no idea but I am guessing it was his one last fuck you to me. His nice way of sending me off and out of his life for good.
Oh well, it is actually funny because it is just so ridiculous, that I have no other option but to laugh.
The joke was really on him because his antics only prolonged the home from being sold. This ultimately meant that he had to fork out additional house payments to cover the mortgage costs.
Humans are wired to be skeptical of things that they cannot understand. The pandemic being a perfect example. I think anyone can fall prey to conspiracy theories and buying into fake news. This is why it is imperative to keep a healthy perspective. It is easy to get caught up in it all but it can become toxic. I am getting sick and tired of consipriacy theories. I am annoyed that there is so much false information going around regarding the pandemic.
False information regarding COVID-19 is dangerous and can get people sick or even worse die.
We also have to stop minimizing this virus and it’s impact. I feel it’s a huge slap in the face to those impacted by COVID-19. Imagine the pain of losing your loved one to this terrible virus. Then to not even be given an opportunity to say goodbye or hold their hand one last time.
Spreading that this is a fake virus or that COVID-19 is no worse than a flu. This to me, is similar to a person throwing salt on an open wound.
We can do better!
As a person living with anxiety, I cannot get too caught up in theories. I need to focus on facts and facts alone. I think a big issue is how does one actually determine what is the truth. There is just so much conflicting information out there. I keep hearing all of these crazy theories and it’s extremely irritating. It only adds to my already chaotic mind.
I am now forced to assume that much of what I hear and read could be a lie. This is unless proven otherwise. Pretty sad but true and I don’t like feeling this way...
This all makes me feel jaded.
I am worried about the world around me.
I am worried about what the future will look like.
I am worried for my family and friends.
What will life look like for my boys?
What struggles and hardships will they have to endure?
Will I be there to help them walk through it all?
Toxicity, negativity and hate; it is all too easy to connect with.
I refuse to let it break me down.
Remember there is always three sides to every story.
On Halloween night we went out for a walk as a family to check out the infamous Blue Moon. These are some of the photographs I took. It was amazing to see how bright the sky was and it totally added to the ambiance of Halloween evening.
Thanks for reading ❤️
For Coil Subscribers only check out this creepy photograph below.
I am a huge fan of Halloween. It is actually my favorite holiday of the entire year. I am all about the scary costumes and decorations but more importantly the smiles and giggles of the little ones as they run through the streets giggling. Some of my fondest memories are dressing up my boys and heading out for candy. We always finished the night off with hot coco and a dance party listening to the Monster Mash song. I loved and cherished every second of these moments.
This year is going to be extra special because Halloween not only lands on a Saturday but is also falling on a full moon. This is why it is called a Blue Moon and nope, it is not actually blue. There has not been a full moon on Halloween since 1944. How cool is that! This can really only add to the spook factor of the evening and festivities.
According to NASA this is not suppose to happen again until the year 2039. Oh snap, I will be 62 now that is truly frightening!
This month we actually get to see two full moons. The first one being the Harvest Moon and then tomorrow the Blue Moon. When this occurs it is also known as the Hunter’s Moon.
People have been intrigued with the full moon and the impact that it has on humans, dating all the way back to 400 B.C. The full moon is believed to stir up all kinds of craziness.
The word ‘lunatic’ actaully comes from the word lunar in reference to the lunar system.
I never gave much thought to this all until I was a practicing Social Worker. There was no denying the shift I observed during full moons. The clients and families I served, most definitely were on edge and experiencing heightened emotions during full moons. I began to dread these days because it was literally me having to put out one fire after another.
This may just have been a coincidence and of course I have no scientific evidence to confirm my theory but it happened. Doctors and nurses also claim to notice busier emergency rooms along with bizarre and unusual injuries. Birth rates are also said to sky rocket during full moons and Police officers similarly notice increased crime rates.
Animals are impacted by the full moon as well. Scientist have found that reef coral, seal-dwelling worms and many types of fish have reproductive cycles that are in align with full moons and the lunar cycles. Sea turtles lay their eggs on full moons because the tide levels make it possible for them to get on shore and make their nests.
Life sometimes is just unexplainable and we don’t have all the answers. I think the mystery surrounding full moons, is just one of those things....
I am okay with that.
I know what I know.
Don’t forget to look up at the sky tomorrow night and check out the blue moon!
I have been really stressed lately as I am sure many of you can relate. This pandemic contines to impact the world and it’s been depleting my energy. I find myself incredibly anxious pretty much all the time.
I desperately needed a break to regroup so the boys and I headed off to Banff. My wonderful mother was also able to join us. I was so lucky to be able to spend some quality time, with legitimately some of my favorite people on this planet.
The fresh mountain air and spectacular views seemed to be exactly what I needed. COVID-19 is suffocating me and continues to break me down. The constant worries and uncertainties are taking a toll on my overall wellness. I also see how it is impacting others in my job and it frightens me.
I am so tired of life being this bloody complicated. It is stupid hard and nothing seems simple or easy anymore.
I now find myself way less interested in connecting with others and by this I mean virtually. Our numbers are rapidly increasing so social gatherings are off the table. We are close to being locked down again. I have lost my sense of creativity. I simply no longer have the drive to connect with friends and loved ones because I am tired and they are tired as well.
These lonely little private bubbles that we find ourselves in, have now become our norm. We are merely surviving not thriving and that is crushing.
I worry about the aftermath of the pandemic and wonder how sustainable friendships really are when we are growing more and more disconnected everyday. I am noticing that I miss social activities less and less and am more content to just be alone. I wonder if these feelings will change when life goes back to normal.
Thank goodness for this weekend because Banff gave me some of my spark back.
The trip was absolutely lovely. Surrounding myself in nature is healing and the mountains continue to amazing me. I can honestly say, I have never seen the mountains more beautiful.
We filled up our happy tanks along with our bellies. We made sure to dine at all of our favorite places. We snacked on the many delicious goodies including bear paws, popcorn and beavertails. The boys raided the old fashioned candy store and it reminded me of when they were little.
We enjoyed eachother and shared many laughs and great conversations. I am so appreciative of this experience because I truly feel way more at peace and grounded since my return.
If you are struggling.....
It is time to find your spark.
Go out and grab a piece of happiness, it is all around you!
This pandemic cannot take everything from us.
Thanks for reading ❤️
These are some of the photographs I took. I will be showing more tomorrow for Wordless Wednesday 😉
Gord started making this marinade years ago and we haven’t looked back since.
This is seriously the BEST steak you will ever try!
The great thing about this recipe is that it works for all cuts of meat. Our favorite is definitely the tenderloin but it’s not always in the budget with 2 growing boys.
Gord whips up the marinade in the morning and then places the steak in a large ziplock bag. He then refrigerates the meat for the day or overnight even. The longer the better, really!
Gord’s Amazing Steak Marinade:
3/4 Cup Soya Sauce
4 Tablespoons Olive Oil
2 Large Garlic Cloves Crushed
1 Teaspoon pepper
1 Tablespoon Granulated Sugar
2 Green Onions Sliced
1 Large or 2 Small Squeezed Lemons
1-2 Drops Hot Sauce
1 Teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes
1 Teaspoon Garlic Powder
1 Tablespoon Parsley
2 Tablespoon Basil (Dried)
1 Tablespoon Fresh Cilantro
1 Pinch of Salt
It’s really that easy...
Just barbecue and your ready to eat!
The steaks were so delicious that we ate them before I could grab a picture.
I think that it is incredibly cool that we are all so different. That’s what makes the world more interesting. We all come with strengths and weaknesses and that’s okay because this just gives us more reason to work together.
The brain is divided into two hemispheres. We can be either right-brained or left-brained, one side being more dominant. This is based on the theory of Roger W. Sperry, as he examined how each hemisphere functions quite differently.
Check out the image below and take a mental note of what animal you immediately see? I will explain later...
What side do you most align with?
Right-Brained
Right-brained dominate folks tend to be artistic and intuitive. This is why they are said to have analog brains. They are more likely to think outside of the box and be creative.
Left-Brained
Left-brained dominate folks tend to be organized and analytical. This is why they are said to have digital brains. These are the readers and writers of the world who like to also deal with numbers and statistics.
So what animal was it that you saw first?
Okay, so if you saw a MONKEY then you are said to be right-brained.
If you saw the TIGER then you are said to be left-brained
This is pretty darn cool and in my case perfectly accurate. I actually really struggled to see the tiger at all.
The Grand Trunk Pacific Railway started building the hotel in 1911 and it was completed by 1913. It is now a National Historic Site. The Fort Garry hotel is is located in downtown Winnipeg, Manitoba. The hotel is located just minutes from the Forks. The Forks has been a famous meeting place for over 6000 years and an important piece of Canadian history.
Room 202
There a few different versions surrounding room 202 and a newlywed couple. In the 1920s, the notorious lovers, checked into the hotel and never got the chance to checkout. The husband left the hotel to pick up mediction for his bride, who had fallen ill. He was killed right outside the hotel by a horse-drawn cart. One version is that as soon as the bride learned of her husband’s death, she was so distraught and overcome with grief that she hung herself in the bedside closet. The other version is that the couple had married outside of their social class, causing a major rift within their families. This was a huge scandal at the time because the couple also had sex before their wedding day. There were rumours surfacing that the wife was pregnant and out of wedlock. The family was so disgraced and angry at the couple, that they plotted to kill the bride. The legend is that her own brothers and father-in-law, murdered her.
The hotel is no doubt haunted especially on the second floor. Guests who are brave enough to stay in room 202 describe experiencing a ton of paranormal activity. Guests have shared that they have seen blood flowing down the wall upon entering the room. Wow, that is terrifying and totally reminds me of the bloody scene in the movie, “The Shining,” where the blood flows out of the elevator.
The bedside closet where the wife hung, opens and closes all on its own. The light in the closet also comes on and off randomly. There are creepy sounds regularly heard coming from within the closet itself. The noise is best described as a wire hanger dragging across the rod.
Multiple guests have had ghostly encounters with the bride herself. The legend is that the bride named Kate is still grieving and is trapped within the walls of the hotel. She sometimes climbs right into bed with unexpecting guests. Guests have been awoken to find a dark shadowy figure, standing at the foot of the bed staring back at them.
My Experience
Friends and I stayed at this hotel a few years ago. We were having a girls weekend. The hotel was gorgeous and we thoroughly enjoyed our stay. It was during the Christmas season and the hotel was packed as they were hosting multiple Christmas parties. The guests were all decked out in gowns and formal suits and the building really reminded me of a castle. The ballroom was spectacular and elegant and rich with history.
I wish I had some great spooky stories to share but sadly it was nothing out of the ordinary. We had a great time during our stay at the Fort Garry hotel but no creepy encounters. Just a regular hotel stay with some pretty awesome ladies.
My gut reaction is to resist change. I don’t like surprises because I like having control likely because of my anxiety. Change brings on many surprises and it freaks me out. Lately I have been feeling down because I know that winter is on its way. We are said to be getting a dump of snow in a few days. I am struggling to adjust.
No one can deny the beauty of fall. The colours are rich and vibrant and almost magical. I have always marvelled at the season but at the same time, it also means that winter is fast approaching and it represents change.
Yes, I live in Canada but I don’t like the snow and I don’t like the cold. We get lots of it and I make do of course, but it gets to me after about the month of January. I have always dreamed of the idea of moving away somewhere nice and hot but my family is here and that has always been what keeps me in Alberta.
I am dreading this particular winter more then ever before. I cannot think of a time where I have ever dreaded the winter more. This virus has been hard on us all. My mental health has been challenged every step of the way. I am somehow sensing, that this winter is gonna be long and hard. I also am fully aware that travel is not in the cards either and I am not sure when travelling will ever feel safe again. I don’t see this changing for a long time and that stings.
I am sick of being homebound due to this pandemic that seems to be continuously dragging on.
I am sick of social distancing and worrying about everything!
My sanctuary has been the great outdoors. I know me and I know that I will not venture outside when it’s freezing. This limits the opportunities to be outdoors for likely the next seven months.
I am writing this as I look outside my window and see the many multicoloured leaves floating around. The air is crisp and getting colder every day. I just cannot help notice how beautiful my world is right now, in this exact moment.
The change happening right before me, is breathtakingly beautiful. Fall is a perfect example of this as the trees start to loose their leaves, one by one. The leaves begin to transform from shades of green into beautiful vibrant hues of red, yellow, orange and brown.
Letting go and embracing life reminds me of the trees still standing tall but bare. This reminds me of the power of being resilient. Fall represents the lovely part of change and that is does not need to be scary.
Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh
