nickelndime

I play the guitar, and sing. Sometimes I do both at the same time. I'm what you would call a Renaissance Man.

1st Installment

2nd Installment

I was looking at my past posts and realized I haven't written one of these in awhile.

Tom Waits – Martha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9Mse62NFl4

This was the song that sold me on Tom Waits being a genius. It was also the first song I heard by him. Back at one of the studios I used to teach out of, one of the instructors made me a mix CD of a bunch of Tom's songs. The instructor told me he put a lot of effort and time to pick the very best from Tom's catalog and I needed to listen to each and every song, and we'd discuss them in a week.

Here's the thing. When I put on the mix the first song was, “Martha.” I have a bad disorder where when I hear a song I like, I need to listen to it over, and over, and over... It's so bad that my wife has implemented a “3 times in a row,” rule in our home. If I try for a fourth she will come around the corner and sternly say, “It's time for something else!”

To which I respond with:

Source

The friend that made the mix CD was irritated when I told him I had only listened to the one song in a week's time, but he did understand.

The song tells a story through the perspective of an older gentleman. It starts off by him calling an old love interest from a pay phone. He asks her out for coffee and to reminisce about the old times. This leads to the chorus:

And those were the days of roses

Poetry and prose and Martha

All I had was you and all you had was me

There was no tomorrows

We'd packed away our sorrows

And we saved them for a rainy day”

All the instruments in this song work so well together. The piano sounds like an old upright piano that could have been used in some smokey old bar. The violin that represents the man's old love interest is so delicate as it weaves in and out. Lastly Tom's gravely voice works to paint the perfect narration of this song.

Joe Purdy – Outlaw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeALf74q674

This is such a great storytelling song! A drifter or outsider pulls into town, wins a card game, and leaves with a girl who is also looking to get out of the one stop town. What makes this song so good is the way the lyrics rhythmically flow.

One more drink 'fore he split town,

Pulled up in a rose pink Cadillac

He was singin' with the top down girl from the north,

Dylan and Johnny Cash

He won the car on a card game listenin' to The Boss,

He keeps his clothes in a gunney sack

She said, “Tell you what sailor, if you take me outta here,

I'll do anything that you ask,

'Cause I don't wanna die like the people down here

But I feel that I'm fading fast.”

The song takes a Bonnie and Clyde type of direction, but I won't give away the ending. Again, it really is a testament to the lyrics, seeing as the only piano accompaniment is just repeating the same four chords over and over. There are no arpeggios or counter melody, just the same four chords.

Damien Jurado – Johnny Go Riding

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Ml0RpMhQ2Q

I saw Damien Jurado perform 15 years ago at an old warehouse in Detroit that was converted into a art gallery. It was such a cool setting to see an acoustic performer play. The way the sound bounced off the cement walls really added to the ambiance of Damien's songs.

There's plenty of girls who know you

They've been asking where you've been

Johnny don't disappoint them

They'd all like to you see you away again”

“Johnny Go Riding” is a song about a friend trying to convince his friend Johnny to go out. It's clear that Johnny suffers from depression or social anxiety by the answers or excuses he gives about why he wants to stay home. This song connected with me on such a personal level because at the time, one of my best friends was exactly like Johnny, and I was like the friend trying to convince him to go out. What I discovered, just like the song explains, is that you can't make people be happy.

Belle and Sebastian – Another Sunny Day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx08E0b0Rs0

The best Belle and Sebastian album is clearly, “The Life Pursuit,” which this song is off of. If you're ever at a dinner party and someone debates you on this, you immediately smack the drink out of their hand and shout, “NO!”

Come to think of it, the wife and I haven't been invited to a dinner party in quite some time. It must be her abrasive personality.

Source

What's so great about this song is... EVERYTHING! The lyrics, the counter melody between the guitar and piano, the beck and call between the lead and backup vocals, etc... Mostly I like the climax, or crescendo of the song. The song has such an upbeat feel, and the lyrics go along with the tempo of the song. What I really dig about the lyrics are the playful nature, and double meanings they have:

Another sunny day, I met you up in the garden

You were digging plants, I dug you, beg your pardon

I took a photograph of you in the herbaceous border

It broke the heart of men and flowers and girls and trees”

This might seem like a typical love song, until the very end. In fact, I believe most people even miss the whole point of the song. Tell you what, listen to the song, and if you can't figure it out, go to the subscribers only section of this article to get my take on in.

On a side note, I'd like to point out something I found very interesting. This is a Scottish band, and watching interviews of the lead singer, you can see that his Scottish brogue is very noticeable. Yet, every word he sings is pronounced perfectly.

Modest Mouse – Gravity Rides Everything

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6XhVj5GF0I

I have a confession to make. This might be the only song I enjoy without knowing what the lyrics are. There I said it, now we can move on. What's so special about this song? The layers! By that I mean if you listen to the song, every instrument only plays one part, however, they play their parts at different times making it seem like a different part all together. The pulse of this song has such a groove to it that the listener is instantly put into a groove. Take a listen, you'll see what I mean.

That's all for this edition, thanks for reading.

Take it easy, but take it,

NickelNDime out!

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I thought I'd share a song I wrote for my wife. I wrote and played it for her at our wedding. I could have played the one I wrote when we got engaged, but it didn't quite fit. If you guys have read my music reviews, or lyrical reviews, you'll know that I really am not a fan of most love songs. Not because I'm some tin man without a heart, but because most love songs focus on the first stage of love. Most of them focus on the beginning of a relationship, when everything is sunshine and lollipops.

So when I wrote this I wanted a song that would stand the test of time. A lot of the time, I'll write a song, become manic about it, and then a couple months later hate it, I end up doing this with it...

“Note to self: Don't write anything ever again.” – NickelNDime

Source

So when I wrote the lyrics, I thought to myself, What about the times I fell short in our relationship? It's really easy to write about love when the times are good, what about when all the chips are on the table? So, that was my main drive when I wrote this song.

Lists

So many times I let you down,

That I'd probably need a pick up truck

but I'd probably just get it stuck.

So many times I made you cry

That I could fill the world with your tears,

Flood it for a thousand years.

We ain't gettin' younger,

Yeah that is, plain to see.

But if you stay with me,

Forever young I know we could be.

So many times I been so wrong

But I had to prove that I was right,

Even if it took all night

So many times I've played the fool

When I've known all along

You're where I really belong.

So many things are broken

Yeah I know you made your lists,

But if you stay with me

Know there's nothing we can't fix.

So many things are broken

Yeah I know you made your lists,

But if you stay with me

Know there's nothing we can't fix.

So many times I made you laugh

That I knew from the start

Forever with you I trust my heart

Forever with you I trust my heart

Forever with you I trust my heart

The Recording:

Funny thing about this is I never have recorded it before! So last weekend Grace was outside with the kids so I rushed in the office and recorded it quickly. I maybe got one or two takes before she and the kids came back in. I sung it a little quieter than I would normally sing it, because I didn't want her to hear me. I really like the walking bass line in between the chords. It's a good way to lead the listener to the next chord.

https://youtu.be/dUuieGICODM

So I guess there's only one thing left to do...

Why did I write her that song when I just could of shown her this picture at our wedding? #eggonmyface

Happy Valentine's Day Grace!

My feelings for you are stated very clearly in the picture above.

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Editor's note: Hey guys! It's NickelNDime here! Just a heads up that this is an article written by my brother. I've actually written about us growing up together and our shenanigans *here,* *here,* *here, and* *here. Anyway, if you don't like it, it's totally his writing, not mine. If you do like it, then it was totally my idea to do this...*

In this first guest appearance in an attempt to drive negative reviews down and Coil boosts up, NickelNDime has brought in some firepower! Someone that can take a complicated subject that requires an immense amount of talent and resources, and boil it down to the real nitty gritty. Basically, I, NickelNDime’s older brother….wait for it, PoundnPence will do something extremely difficult like woodworking, take some pictures while doing it, and then create a post that makes it look like anyone reading it could in fact do it. The suspension of disbelief is going to be so strong everyone reading this is going to grab some power tools and consider themselves self proclaimed Norm Abrahms.

This will be you after you finish this blog!

In this guest series we will dive into wood working styles like Shaker, Quaker, and the NickelNDime Faker! The last one is where NickelNDime goes to his trusted superstore and buys some cheap crap and assembles it and boasts, “I am a carpenter!”

NickelNDime 5mins into an Ikea Special!

But first lets start with a softball project. A project that is so simple but that gets the woodworker a ton of acclaim and admiration from his/her friends and enemies, but here is the secret it is easy peasy! I am speaking of the the ever sexy buy practical **End Grain Cutting Board! Not to be mistaken with it’s nefarious cousin the Edge Grain Cutting Board
**

Beautiful End Grain:

Ugly Nasty Edge Grain:

The benefits of End Grain boards over Edge Grain boards are too numerous to count, google it if you would like, but consider End Grain like Sunscreen, and Edge Grain like 1st degree burns in an orphanage of sick kids…..too much? Well, get strapped in people.

Step 1. Get the Wood

You must go out and find some lumber. This is not a trip to a big box store! Typically it is a local mill works yard or in my case this establishment!

Tree Purposed Detroit - Check it out!

This place is really great. Their parent company is a tree removal business, but instead of turning all the lumber into wood chips and mulch like most this company re-purposes the lumber into stuff like this.

Your woodworking skills are not here yet, but stay with me and I will Yoda your Luke

So, I wandered in and I spotted a shop dog running around.

This is a big indicator that this place is cool. Any place that has a shop dog present you know you are dealing with straight shooters. The bad guys in movies never have dogs running around their hideouts!

Anyhoo, they mostly specialize in large wood slabs which is not what I was looking for. But where there are large pieces of wood they also had small scraps which what I was looking for. After a few minutes of heavy haggling back and forth I had my wood!!!

Maple Walnut and Cherry!!!

So, next we needed a plan, so I decided to use technology and I laid out my wood. Which is much different than getting my wood laid.

Wood, Check! Plan, Check! Next steps are to cut down the lumber into manageable sizes! We used a miter box, but you can use a hand saw, circular saw, jig saw, (notice the pattern?) Use a saw to cut the wood!

Smaller sizes are easier to work with….

Source

Next up we now have to join and plane the wood. I will not go in depth about this at this time young Skywalker, but understand that wood is not straight or flat. And we need need straight and flat wood to work with. This is probably the single greatest mistake most newbies make. This is especially true when we are using rough cut lumber like we are doing now.

Joining one side of the wood will give us a straight edge to work off of.

Planing the wood will give us a flat surface perpendicular to the edge we just joined!

Once we have all the edges joined and the surfaces flat we can rip the lengths down to the widths of each section we need, and we are left with the following:

Joined wood….ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah baby!

The next step, now that we have flat and joined wood, is to glue up everything. Where are my clamps!

You can never have too many clamps!

Pour the glue on, and smooth it out. Some use brushes, I just use my finger

This is the glue I use which is food rated safe (Tightbond II)

Tightbond II

Now it's time to get them in the clamps and **quick!
**

We were able to make 3 cutting boards out of wood we picked up

So, the next part is the hardest thing to do, wait! Leave the wood clamped for about a day.

After time has passed we now pull them out and send them through the planer again to flatten the boards out

Unplanned Nastiness:

Planned Awesomeness:

Now if we were bush league woodworkers we would stop and do a little dance and say, “We are ninnies! Look at the these edge grain boards we made!” But we are not bush league, we are big leaguers! So let's take it to the next level. End Grain here we come!

Lets cut these bad boys up!

Cut this:

...to get this!

Now for some magic!

By flipping every other board we get this!

Starting to turn sexy!

Guess what we have to do next? Yep you guessed it another glue up!

Glue!!!!! And I wasn’t lying about a good shop dog. This clearly demonstrates I am cool, and a trusted source.

So now we are left with... Yep you guessed it, more planing, only lets not send this through the planer. It is too dangerous. Don't ask why it just is. So lets build a jig and flatten it with a router, shall we?

*So now we have flat boards that are staring to sex up the place here
*

Let's round off the edges:

And let's sand!

Go from 80-100-120-180-220 grit

Lastly we applied some mineral oil, yep you guessed it, man you're smart!

We use mineral oil because it's food safe

And there you go! Three unique cutting boards that can be nice, but don't take a lot of experience.

Oh and please do me a favor. DO NOT UP VOTE THIS! Let me explain. You see, I gotta hear from NickelNDime how he's kind of a big thing on Coil, and I don't think his fragile ego could handle my post surpassing anything he's put up. Can you believe those stories he's written about us? They are heavily skewed!

Thanks for reading!

PoundNPence

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This blog is based off of a personal experience I had with my city's police force a few years ago. It's not a police-bashing article, per se, however, I will not sugarcoat the events for you.

I'm writing this article to hopefully shine a light on some of the problems I've encountered with law enforcement, and more importantly, the training they receive and the laws that they enforce.

The Incident

It was the evening of September 8, 2014. I remember the exact date because I went to the bar with my wife to meet up with some friends to watch Monday Night football. The Lions destroyed the Giants that night, which was epic. The Lions still had Calvin Johnson and it was incredible to see the football season get off to a great start. Megatron (AKA Calvin Johnson) finished the game with 2 touchdowns, and 164 receiving yards.

The Lions had this player and couldn't win one playoff game. Chew on that.

Source

After the game, the wife and I stayed and chatted with our friends and I drank a couple more beers. As the night wore on and the conversation died down, the talk of how early everyone had to get up the next morning was inevitable. We paid our tab, said our goodbyes, and we got in our car and headed home. Seeing as Grace was driving, I opened the box of leftovers from the bar and started pigging out on cold chicken wings. Mmm... or not. It was not one of my better moments, but I was going be home soon, and I wanted to get to sleep as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, that was not going to happen any time soon.

As Grace pulled down our street I noticed not one, not two, not three, but four cop cars on our street. I turned to Grace and said in a mocking voice, “Uh oh... somebody's in trouble.” You can imagine my surprise as we pulled in our driveway to discover four police officers by the side door of my home. One of the police officers had a lock picking kit, and was picking the lock to our door.

“What in the eff are they doing?” Grace asked in a confused, and shocked tone.

I shook my head as to say I had no idea. The police officers stared back at us with a surprised look on their faces. They had that, 'the cat that ate the canary' look. I opened the car door and got out. Within seconds I was surrounded by all four police officers. One shined his flashlight right in my face. I stood there blinded by the flashlight as the officer holding it immediately started asking me questions.

This is almost how I exactly remember it.

“Do you live here?” he asked in a stern, demanding, no nonsense tone.

“Uh, yeah.” I answered.

“What's your name?” He barked at me.

It was this question that made something click in my head. A couple years prior a lawyer had taken guitar lessons from me. He was a pretty cool cat and he would give me tips about the law from time to time. On one occasion he gave advice about what to do if I was questioned by a police officer. “Always ask if you're being detained. If they say no, you do NOT answer any of their questions.” So, I figured I'd try it out.

“Excuse me, officer.”

“Yeah?”

“Am I being detained?”

It was almost as if my words casted a magical spell because the police officers looked nervously at each other before the one asking me the questions answered.

Archmage NickelNDime with a LV 1 in legal jargon.

“No sir, you are not being detained, but we would appreciate it if you could help us out by giving us your name.” I noticed as he said this his stern and intimidating tone melted into a more relaxed and soothing voice. Almost like switching from bad cop to good cop. It was at this point that I started to feel the whole weight of the entire situation. The police are trying to enter my home! I thought. Inside, the adrenaline rushed through my body, yet on the outside I tried to remain as calm as possible. Anger started to cloud my thoughts and I tried my best to think as clearly as possible.

It was my turn to ask the questions.

“Why are you trying to enter my residence?” I asked in the most monotone voice I could muster.

“Sir, we will be happy to answer those questions if you tell us your name.”

“Yeah that's not happening, WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO ENTER MY HOME?” As I said the last part, I rose my voice to just under a yelling volume. It had the intended effect that I was hoping for. I could see my neighbors peeking out of their windows. More importantly the cops noticed it, too.

“Well, sir...” the cop started and continued, “We got a call about your dog barking. When we knocked on the door, nobody answered so we thought somebody inside might be in distress. We made a judgement call and decided to go in and see if anybody inside was in need of assistance, or was incapacitated.”

As my brain was processing what the officer was saying to me, I looked at the other officers. The looks on their face were that of a look of inconvenience. One of the officers looked at me like he flat out loathed me. Yes, loathed. I know that look very well. Then it dawned on me to ask him one more question.

“Do you officers have a warrant for this?” I asked as monotone as possible.

“Don't need one in cases of emergency,” The officer that gave me the loathing look interjected. His diet looked like it consisted of steroids and anger.

“WELL, THIS ALL SEEMS HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS THAT OFFICERS ARE ENTERING MY HOME WITHOUT A WARRANT OVER A BARKING DOG!” At this point, neighbors had opened their doors and stood there to see why their neighbor was raising his voice to law enforcement. The police officers now looked around seemingly very unsure of themselves. The police officer that was holding the flashlight lowered the flashlight and spoke.

“Well, we can see everything is fine. We're gonna get outta here. Boys, let's go.”

With that all the officers started walking to their police cars. As they were walking away, I asked, “Wait a second, what are your badge numbers?” The officers didn't stop walking; Instead, they all started rattling off their badge numbers at the same time. I watched them as they got in their cars, and drove away. I ran over to my wife and gave her a hug and asked her if she was okay. We went inside, and I looked around. Nothing seemed off so I was pretty sure they did not actually get into my residence.

A million thoughts raced through my head as I tried to gather myself. My heart still raced as I tried to formulate my next step. I should call the station, they should have a record of the event. I picked up my phone and dialed the police department's non emergency number.

The officer on the other end did not want to be cooperative in the slightest. He acknowledged that yes, the police had every right to enter my house without a warrant, and stated that I should be thankful that they could.

“I should be thankful?” I asked surprised.

“Sir, what if you were having a heart attack and couldn't get to the phone. You would be pretty happy to see the police, wouldn't you?”

“Are the police trained in rapid response?” I shot back.

“It's not required, no. But they could then call for an ambulance.”

I could see the conversation was going nowhere so I asked the officer on the other end of the phone for the badge numbers of every police officer that was at my home. He gave them to me and I hung up the phone. After the phone call I tried calming down but was still so wound up that I couldn't sleep the entire night, and neither could my wife.

Aftermath – What I Discovered

The next couple days felt like I was in a daze. I had this paranoia feeling, and I couldn't shake it. It was nagging at me that the police tried to enter my home without due process. I came to the conclusion that I should contact a lawyer.

Because I no longer had the student that was a lawyer, I had no idea where to start so I googled “lawyer and police brutality” into the search engine. I called the first number that popped up. I spoke with a secretary and she took my info and said a lawyer from the office would call back shortly. I thanked her and hung up the phone.

The lawyer called back within a couple hours and I explained the events that happened. His response really took me by surprise.

“Do you have video?” He asked.

“No...It all happened rather fast...” I tried to explain before he cut me off.

“Then you don't have a case.” He said very matter of fact. He then clarified, “I mean, you might have a case, but I don't want to take it.”

“Can I ask why? I mean, they tried to enter my home without a warrant over my dogs barking. They claimed it was because they thought someone was in distress. Would you mind explaining it to me?”

“Sure, no problem. So, there are certain situations where a police officer may enter your home without a warrant. One of those situations states that if a police officer believes someone is in a life or death situation, then they may enter the residence.”

“But....” I paused before I continued, “Do you think that's why they were coming into my home? I mean, doesn't it seem odd?”

“It does, and maybe there was another motive for them wanting to enter your house, but that's what you would have to prove in a court of law. They made a judgement call to go into your home because they thought someone's life was in danger. You'd have to prove they were lying. Maybe if you had video footage of them not following protocol, we'd have something there...” He trailed off.

I sat there thinking about possible scenarios that could have happened. “Can I ask a couple more questions if you don't mind?”

“Go ahead.” he replied.

“Could they have harmed my dog and I'd have no recourse.”

“Let me put it this way. It would be your word against four police officers. They could claim that when they entered your residence your dog attacked them and they had to shoot it.”

“Jesus.... One more question. What if they found some marijuana or paraphernalia?”

“Well, that's where it get's a little tricky. If a cop enters your home and sees an illegal substance out in the open, they can make an arrest. Now, because they could use their reason for entering your home they could justify going into each of the rooms of the residence. If they did make an arrest, you could get it thrown out in court, but you'd have to hire a lawyer, etc...” He then paused, “If that did happen, I would be more concerned with civil asset forfeiture.”

“What's civil asset forfeiture?”

“You're going to need to look it up, it would take me too long to explain.”

I thanked the lawyer for his time and hung up the phone. When I researched civil asset forfeiture I was terrified by the results that came back.

What is Civil Asset Forfeiture?

Basically, civil asset forfeiture is the ability of law enforcement to seize a person's property if they suspect that the person's property was used to facilitate an illegal activity.

I want to stress two points about civil asset forfeiture. The first is, law enforcement only needs to suspect, they do not need actual evidence. Please understand that a person's property is not protected by the 4th amendment. There are horror stories of police taking people's property with absolutely no evidence whatsoever.

Remember, law enforcement only has to, suspect that your property is being used in an illegal activity. The word suspect is a very subjective word.

The second point is that a person's property is not protected by the constitution. This means a person's property is considered guilty until proven innocent. That means if law enforcement were to seize your property, it is your responsibility to hire a lawyer and prove that is wasn't used for illegal activity.

Why Should You Care?

A couple years ago, several articles revealed that all of the civil asset forfeiture seized surpassed the dollar value of all theft reported to the government.

Try to remember that this is all legal. If you are wondering what happens to all the seized property, it depends on where you live. Most of the time it gets auctioned off and the money goes back into the police department that seized the property. This is problematic because it creates an incentive for police forces to seize people's property to help fund their police department. Most of the time the property seized costs less than the hassle it would be to hire a lawyer and get it back. Basically, this law is legalized theft.

When I realized what happened in my situation, I started thinking about worse case scenarios. I had left a joint out in my music room at the time. The police, in theory, could have, “looked” throughout my house looking for 'a person in distress' and came across my joint, and subsequently seized my entire home.

What did I do about it?

The first thing I did was get my medical marijuana card. I hated the thought of being on a state list, but the thought of losing my home in some bogus drug raid seemed to be a worse scenario. That situation was a story in and of itself, but I'll save that for another day.

The next thing I did was purchase cameras to cover my property. I was not too thrilled by this. I hate the idea of having surveillance, and to be truthful, I don't really worry about being robbed. That's what insurance is for. Most material things can be replaced, and the things I value a typical burglar wouldn't want anyway. I found it unnerving that I was installing the cameras because it was law enforcement, not burglars, that had tried to enter my home.

Lastly, and most importantly, I CALLED MY STATE REPS! This is by far the one action that makes me feel like I can make the most difference. The laws are just now starting to change. Does it go far enough in my opinion? No, but it's definitely a start.

When people become anti-police they should try to remember that the police are only doing what the law allows them to do.

I'd like to close this with something one of my favorite comedians said about airport security, but can be applied to giving power to any authority:

As far as I’m concerned, all of this airport security, all the searches, the screenings, the cameras, the questions, it’s just one more way of reducing your liberty, and reminding you that they can f**k with you any time they want… as long as you put up with it… as long as you put up with it; which means of course any time they want, 'cause that’s what Americans do now, they’re always willing to trade away a little of their freedom in exchange for the feeling, the illusion, of security.” – George Carlin

Take it easy, but take it.

NickelNDime out!

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Are you tired of the Italian White Egg Omelette yet? Well, I sure am. This Banana Strawberry smoothie is super easy to make, really healthy, and tastes like your taste buds are on a date with a Banana and a Strawberry:

“Oh, I don't know if we should do this Banana and Strawberries. You promise you'll be there when I wake up, but how can I trust you guys?” – NickelNDime's very cautious taste buds who have been hurt in the past.

What You Will Need:

1 cup of frozen bananas and strawberries (I used a frozen mix of the two)

½ cup of milk (whatever you prefer: whole, half, 2%, or water)

½ cup of plain yogurt (stay away from flavored or Greek yogurt)

Serves 2

Instructions:

Step 1

Take all the ingredients and pour them in a blender.

Step 2

Blend.

Told you it was easy.

This...

Becomes this...

Ta Da!!!!

These smoothies come in at about 270 to 300 calories so not too bad. I've found that they typically keep me satisfied for the whole morning, and a good portion of the afternoon. Remember, weight loss is all about taking in less the you burn. So, you want to get the most out of every calorie you ingest!

For example, a typical breakfast sandwich: egg, sausage, cheese, english muffin, comes in at 470 calories. I could eat one of those and still be hungry. That's because it's partially full of what is called, empty calories.

What I discovered with this type of smoothie is that you can make a limitless number of combinations depending on your fancy. You can also add all sorts of things to make it healthier, like chia seeds or a handful of spinach.

Blueberry and Banana

Mango and Cherries

Banana, Raspberry, and Peanut Butter ( I call it the PB and J Smoothie)

Mango and Peach

These are the ones I've tried and they all turned out like the bee's knees:

“I just don't get it. We make honey, we pollinate millions of flowers every Spring, so why do humans always bring up our knees?” – A worker bee having an existential crisis.

After putting that picture and caption up, I just thought of a honey, peanut butter, and banana smoothie. Don't steal my idea, I thought of it first!

Take it easy, but take it.

NickelNDime Out!

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Full disclosure: I had a setback this week which I want to dive right in to.

These are my weigh – ins for the first two weeks:

Starting Weight = 205lb, 92.9864kg

Week 1 = 201lb, 91.1721kg

Week 2 = 198lb, 89.8113kg

Last week it was:

Week 3 = 195.8lb, 88.813386kg

Everything was going well... until I stepped on the scale this morning...

Week 4 = 196.6, 89.17626kg

If I have to confess, I wasn't entirely surprised by the weight gain. In fact I'm relieved it wasn't a lot higher than it was. The reason I wasn't surprised is because I let one off day become an off week. This is very common and I want to go over my thought process and why I'm not quitting or hitting the panic button just yet.

Wait, you guys don't have a real life 'Panic' button? I have one on me at all times!

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Last week started off strong, but Tuesday evening I did a live stream with some of my awesome Coil friends and had a couple beers during the stream. It was a great time, and I had allocated for the extra calorie intake that evening. It was the next morning when I woke up that was the beginning of the downward spiral. That morning, I woke up with a slight hangover.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE I GOT OFF TRACK!

It wasn't even a terrible hangover, but it was just enough for me to think to myself, my Italian White Egg Omelet is not going to cut it this morning, Nickel. You're gonna need some food with a little more sustenance.

So, I made a giant (and delicious) breakfast for myself.

1. 3 eggs

2. Hash browns

3. 2 sausage patties

4 3 pieces of toast with lots of butter

...and a side of guilt.

The guilt is important because this is where I could've stopped myself and got on track but after eating that I thought, Well, the SuperBowl is this Sunday so I might as well have an off week! For the rest of the week my diet was not the worst, but it certainty wasn't the best. The main culprit was portion control. I visited my parents last week because my Dad couldn't get his printer to communicate with his computer. While there my Mom offered me some homemade ravioli. So I had some, and by some I mean I ate all of them. The rest of the week was no better.

Now, here's the most important part. I'm okay with my actions. This is the most essential part I want to stress.

Let me explain.

One of the best ways to make progress when trying to accomplish any task is to know your own patterns, and continue to refine them. Okay, I gained a pound, but overall I'm still down eight pounds! It would be easy to get discouraged and just say “screw it,” but then that would be reinforcing negative behaviors. I discovered this about myself when I tried to quit smoking.

I used to smoke quite a bit. I started at the age of 15 when I stole a pack from my Mother and smoked them at the bus stop to try to impress the older kids as we waited for the bus. The only problem was that my Mother smoked the long, thin, feminine-type cigarettes. It's amazing how my perception of myself has changed...

This is how I thought I looked...

“Ladies, it's not safe around these parts. I'll keep ya safe.”

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Looking back I probably looked more like this....

“Mornin' gals, do you know who I saw the other day? Suzy Smith... and she's really let herself go!” – A very catty, and confused young NickelNDime

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In my late 20's early 30's I knew it was time to quit smoking. I would be doing great but if I slipped up and had a cigarette I would just say to myself, Screw it, I might as well keep smoking. It was around this time that I discovered this destructive behavior I had. I'm not an 'all or nothing' type person. So, I changed the way I approached the quitting process. If I slipped up I would tell myself, “Alright that's not the best, but it's not the worst.”

A funny thing happened when I used this approach. I started smoking less and less. To this day, I might have a cigarette once or twice a year, but I don't throw my hands in the air and say, “Well screw it, might as well start smoking non-filtered menthol.”

This is the same approach I've been using with weight loss. Was last week a wash? Yeah. Was it the worst and should I give up altogether? NO, and that's the point I want to make. Everybody is going to stumble, we're all human.

One of my favorite characters said something that has always stuck with me,

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on. – Homer Simpson

That's some good advice, Homer! Sometimes we can be our worst critic. Life is not a sprint, but rather a marathon. Besides, do you really want to rush to get to end of that race?

Take it easy, but take it.

NickelNDime Out!!!

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Well, we're finally here! The NFL playoffs have eliminated all but two teams. Those two teams will face each other this Sunday to decide once and for all which team is the greatest in the NFL...until next year, when the whole process begins again. Like many Americans, I will stuff my belly with chicken wing meat, and wash it down with many a craft beer before the game even starts. Yay for off days! Let's take a look at the two teams the fight for the championship.

The San Francisco 49ers

This team really turned a lot of heads this season, including me! Out of the two teams, I would have to say the 49ers is the more complete team. Their defense is rock solid with players like Nick Bosa, Emmanuel Moseley, and the great Richard Sherman. Their defense finished the season 8th in the league compared to all other defenses. It will be interesting to see if they will be able to shut down Patrick Mahomes' passing attack.

What has really been the surprise this season is the 49ers offense. Many people questioned if Jimmy Garoppolo was the QB to lead this team at the end of last season. I believe those questions have been answered. While Garoppolo might not have the explosiveness as Patrick Mahomes, he has proven time and time again that he can make a play when it really counts. Speaking of Mahomes...

The Kansas City Chiefs

Let's not pretend that the Kansas City Chiefs are a balanced team. They are not. If Kansas is to win on Sunday, it all relies on how Patrick Mahomes plays. Watching him play this season has been entertaining to say the least. We might be watching the beginning of a dynasty and the center piece of that dynasty is Patrick. Mahomes finished the season with a QB rating of 105, with 26/5 touchdown to interception ration. Those are really good numbers for those who don't know football.

Mahomes does have a supporting cast around him. With targets like Tyreek Hill, Travis Kelce, and Sammy Watkins, it will be a high powered offense that San Francisco will have to find a way to slow down.

*Who will win?*

If I had to pick, I would say the 49ers, but these two teams are so evenly matched that it could go either way.

Final Score:

San Francisco – 27

Kansas City – 24

Take it easy, but take it.

NickelNDime out!

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Hey everybody! RileyQ started this fun little challenge awhile back. It reminds me of the chain letters back from MySpace... not that I was old enough to be on MySpace... what's a MySpace?

The last person to be tagged was Dani, and then she tagged me, and I accepted, so here are all the formalities:

Here's the list of people it passed through:

RileyQ passed it to Patricia C, who then handed it off to Adam, then he tossed it to Patty B, who lateraled it to Dani, who threw a bomb to me.

So, let's do this!

1. If you could choose one superpower to have, what would it be and why?

It would definitely have to be mind control. I know a lot of people would want to fly, or be invisible, or be indestructible, but not me. I would want a power that I could go about my day unnoticed. My only worry is I know who I am, and I don't think I should have any super power. Like Uncle Ben told Peter Parker:

With great power, comes great responsibility.

And I would totally try to be responsible... at first. Sure, at first I would use mind tricks on bankers so they wouldn't foreclose on some old person's house.

“These aren't the senior citizens you want to foreclose on,” Nickel-Won Kenobi

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But eventually I would become drunk with power where the slightest inconvenience would enrage me. I could see myself in a coffee house and a barista gets my order wrong, and that's all it would take to set me off.

“No, that's okay, mortal. I'll drink the hot cappuccino, even though I ordered it frozen.”

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...and then....

“Oh no, the barista's head exploded. That's too bad... Maybe management will replace her with someone who can get my order right. You know what? Now that I've had a couple of sips, I'm glad I got the hot cappuccino. Oh well...”

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2. If there was a zombie apocalypse tomorrow, what is the first thing you would do and what songs would be on your zombie killing soundtrack?

Well, the first thing I would do is get my family out of the city! Being from Michigan, the best destination would be up north, to the Upper Peninsula.

Fun Fact: The Great Lakes have 95 percent of the total surface fresh water in the United States. I'm not a survivalist, but I'm pretty sure water is a must for people.

We would find other families and form a community. I would offer my raw muscles and brute strength and become a lumberjack. After a hard day's work, this is how I would great my wife after chopping wood all day.

I hope you don't need subtext for this...

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As for my soundtrack, if it's a zombie apocalypse I would have to go with the soundtrack from all the Fallout games. I'd probably be stomping zombies while I listened to this :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FFtht9k87k&list=RD0FFtht9k87k&index=1

The only problem is when I have head phones on or earbuds in I become completely immersed in the music, which probably wouldn't be good with zombies roaming around....

“Oh no! The Zombies are coming from the south. Who had watch duty on the south tower?”

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Meanwhile I would just be listening to my tunes...

“I know all the members of Weezer are zombies now, but I really hope they come out with another album as good as Pinkerton.”

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I'm pretty sure I would be banished from the community quickly. They'd keep the wife and kids, but me, not so much.

3. What are your top three biggest pet peeves?

  1. Lazy humor. What I mean by that is people that say the same used jokes and act like they said the funniest thing ever. Example: Somebody spills their drink, and someone will say, “That's alcohol abuse!” Then they'll laugh like it's the funniest thing ever.
  2. Small talk. I don't want to discuss how it is cold at the moment, and in a couple of months it will be warm again. Why don't we talk about why you haven't talked to your brother in a couple years instead?
  3. People that drive on the shoulder when clearly everyone is merging down to one lane. The punishment for that should be having their license revoked immediately followed by a public flogging.

4. If you could know the absolute truth to one question, what question would you ask?

Uhhh... that's an easy one. When is XRP going to...

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Now it is time for me to pass this challenge along,

and I'm going to choose Seth Stanley @SethStanley.

  1. You have 30 minutes to kill so you decide to watch some Telly. There are only 3 shows available, they are: Monty Python, Benny Hill, and Ricky Gervies', “The Office.” Which one to you pick, and why?
  2. Which movie was the best adaptation of a Steven King novel?
  3. Have you ever had a paranormal experience?
  4. If you could get a drink with anyone on Coil, who would it be?

I hope he picks me!

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Take it easy, but take it.

NickelNDime Out!

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Disclaimer: This has some serious/dark themes, and is centered around dark humor. Read at your own risk.

I was having a beer (okay, two) with my bandmate Keelan, and he reminded me of this story. It's a short story, but depending on how I write it, it could be very verbose.

About six or seven years ago, our band got asked to perform at a benefit. Typically we turn these type of gigs down because they are pro bono which as much as I dig lending my talents, playing pro bono doesn't put food on the tab, or pay the electric bills:

“Son, you're probably asking what's for dinner, well I'll tell you. The main dish consists of the compliments I received from a show I played for free. It's served with a side of, 'You're really good, we wish we could pay you.'” – NickelNDime, to his hungry and irritated children

However, every so often there will come a cause that I can't say no to. Keelan and I were asked to play a benefit for a woman that lost both of her children in a horrible car accident. When I researched the event, there was no way I could turn it down. Apparently, the kids were driving on the freeway with their step mother on their way to a theme park when a car suddenly cut them off causing the step mother to swerve and flip the car. Tragically, both kids, who were only 11 and 13 years old, did not survive.

As I read about the mother, I was truly inspired by her strength. This woman turned her tragedy into hope and joy. She started a charity and auction in honor of her children. The money that is raised from the charity and auction go towards scholarships for children in need. I don't know if I could be that strong, as I sit here writing this with my five month old baby sleeping on my chest.

Don't let his cuteness fool you. This kid has got a set of pipes on him.

The event involved a marathon, so people could pledge runners for every mile they ran. The race's finish line was at an Elk's Lodge where there would be food, raffles, and awesome music by yours truly. For those not familiar with an Elk's Lodge, it's a members-only banquet hall. They provide a night out for your average Joe and Jane without costing an arm and a leg. They are scattered all over the U.S. and from the couple I've entered, there is no level of standard that they abide by:

“Agnes, if we leave now, we should reach the Elk's Lodge in a fortnight. Also, please put on something a little more modest or people at the Elk will think you're a filthy harlot.” -The Elk's newest member

The day of the benefit arrived. We set up with plenty of time to spare, so I made my way to the bar. They had no craft beer, so I had to get... a normal beer. The bartender made a joke when I ordered...

“Can I get two B#d Lights?”, I asked.

The bartender smirked and replied, “We don't sell beer here, we rent'em to you. All we ask is when you return it, you do it in the restroom.”

All the barflies sitting at the bar laughed as if he said something as funny and profound as George Carlin. I chuckled a little, and paid for my beer. Little did I know the bartender would go back to the joke for every drink I ordered for the rest of the evening. If I have one pet peeve, it's lazy humor.

As I made my way back to where we set up our gear, a man in a suit stopped me.

“Are you with the band?”, he asked like it was a shake down.

“Ah yeah, I'm Nick. I make up fifty percent of the duo, Nick and Keelan. And you are...”

“Name's Robert Mehcuff, I'm president of this chapter of the Elk's Lodge.” He smiled a car salesman smile, and held out his hand. I shook it as he continued, “Say, you don't mind if I get up there and make a speech before you start playing so I can introduce you?”

“No, I don't mind. It's your establishment.”

“Great, great... Alright then, I'll let you get back to your rockin' and rollin'!” With that, he did a little air guitar to show he was still cool. It came across as so forced, I cringed as I feigned a smile, and said my goodbye...

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As I handed Keelan the beer I got him, I noticed that people from the charity had started to arrive. Keelan stood up and made his way to our gear. I motioned him back.

“We're supposed to start playing,” Keelan said with a confused voice.

“The president of this place said wait for him,” I answered.

“Ohh. Say Nick, how much do you think being president of a place like this pays?”

“High four figure salary easy.”

“Oh...So we're dealing with the top brass, huh?”

“We sure are Keelan, we sure are.”

We waited another 15 to 20 minutes. At this point, the entire Elk's Lodge was packed with people from the charity. I could tell the regulars were not used to this big of a crowd. The crowd for the benefit and the regular Elk crowd could not have been any more different. My eyes continued to survey the room when I noticed the event coordinator. She was looking back at me, with a confused look on her face. She then made a air guitar motion, the raised her hands in a confused manner. The message was loud and clear, Why aren't you morons playing?

I pointed towards the Elk president as he made his way to us. We handed him the microphone and he tapped it with his finger. The crowed quieted down. He began to speak...

“Good evening everybody, my name is Robert Mehcuff. I just want to thank everybody for coming tonight. We at the Elk just want to offer our condolences to this woman,” as he said that, he pointed to the woman who lost her children. I felt the confused and awkward vibe come over the room. The president continued, “... Just seeing everyone in the community come together has really warmed my heart...” He let his voice trail off for dramatic effect. He let his hand holding the microphone drift down to where his other hand was as if he was making a prayer.

Then he held the microphone back up to his mouth, and said these exact words,

And because it's such a heart warming event, I'm offering five percent off all Elk membership applications tonight only!”

The crowd was dead silent, like someone had just slapped them all individually across the face. Robert didn't seem to notice because he followed up with,

And now to make you sing and dance, the musical stylings of NICK AND KEELAN!”

This is what the crowd was like as he handed back the microphone and we took the stage.

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We won the crowd over, and played the annual charity event for the next five or six years. Needless to say, that was the first and last time the Elk's Lodge hosted the event.

Take it easy, but take it.

NickelNdime Out!

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Some of you know by now, or have gathered from my writings and covers, that I'm a huge Bob Dylan fan. What may surprise all of you is that it wasn't a specific song or album that 'sold' me on Dylan's genius, but a poem. It was a poem titled, “Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie.” If you have seven minutes please stop what you are doing and listen to it. If you'd like to read it click on this link.

What does it mean?

I will give you my interpretation of this poem, but first I need to cover who Woody Guthrie was, and why he was/is so important to Bob Dylan. Woody Guthrie was a folk singer that played music from 1930 – 1956. His most famous song, “This Land is Your Land,” has become an American tradition for children to sing in school. He was a rambler and genius in his own right. His autobiography, “Bound for Glory,” was a vivid picture of what it was like to grow up in the dust bowl, during the Great Depression. It chronicles how he picked up the guitar and started to ramble from town to town, playing music, then moving on. The book ends with him refusing to play at Carnegie Hall, because average people couldn't afford tickets to that show.

What Woody Meant to Dylan

That's all fine and great, but why did Dylan care so much about a folk singer from the 1930's? It was because Dylan idolized Woody. By the 1960's, folk music had made a resurgence, and a folk scene had emerged in Greenich village, New York. A young Dylan was quickly making a name for himself. What most people didn't know at the time was that Dylan was mirroring himself after Woody. He dressed like Woody, he talked like Woody, he even played and sang like Woody. As Dylan became established, he decided he wanted to meet his idol, but alas, his idol was dying in a Brooklyn State hospital from Huntington's disease. Dylan went to meet his idol, an event that would leave him looking at the world in a different way.

What the Poem Means to Me

I listen to this poem whenever I feel my negative about my own creativeness. The poem starts off about doubt. When that moment of doubt creeps in and shakes your confidence. The imagery that Dylan paints is just masterful.

And yer whole world's a-slammin' and bangin'

And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm

And to yourself you sometimes say

I never knew it was gonna be this way

Why didn't they tell me the day I was born”

There is such a rhythm and tempo with how he phrases the words, it just flows. The poem continues with painting a picture of nothing going right. Every line, every verse, describes a feeling or complex feeling we've all felt before.

This segways into having an idea, but the frustration of not being able to express it. That inability to express it turns to anxiety. That's what makes any creative medium so difficult. Look, everything you've every felt or thought has been felt or thought by billions of other people throughout history. It's the way those emotions are expressed that makes them unique. Look, I'll prove it to you.

Think of your favorite love song ever. Do the lyrics just go:

“I love you,

You love me,

Love, Love, love

YAY!”

No, I'd wager that the lyrics are complex and make you relate to those lyrics on a very intimate level. That's what Dylan is trying to convey during this part of the poem.

Eventually he leads the listener to what we all need in these times of self doubt, and that's hope. The poem shifts its focus to this point, or rather, where you can't or won't find hope. It's here that an artist can really relate. Dylan points to talentless performers who get all the attention.

The ending is where Bob ties it all together. He states you can only find hope in two places; in the church of your choice, or Brooklyn state hospital where Woody Guthrie is. What does he mean by this? Well to me, it means hope is not something that is easy to come by. Many people find it at the church of their choice. Others who are not religious might find it in a form of truth, which is how Dylan saw Woody Guthrie.

Anyhoo, it's only my opinion, I could be totally off.

Take it easy, but take it.

NickelNDime Out!

Keep reading below for an exclusive announcement!!!

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