diary

tm

the internet is not generally a good place. or a safe place. i use it every day because i genuinely have nothing better to do. i yearn for a day when there is no internet. where we are all wild creatures tearing through the forest with nothing to our name but our skirts of hide and sharpened sticks to defend ourselves from the elements.

until then, this is my blog

bio coming in...

the apt is GETTING clean(er)

i just cleaned the hell out of the itchen and there is still more to do. i am also 7% done w/ The Light And The Cave. I am also rehydrating. And also yada yada. I have nothing particular to write about right now, but something will comme up later, maybe.

Be back in a bit!

10:17 AM

I don't have a whole hell of a lot on my schedule for today, so, i will spend a good portion of the day on Twitter (which sounds unhealthy, it is, 'tis a shame). I will also spend some of that time reading (i guess, though i want to ake this a nighttime habit) because I just started “From The Cave To The Light” or something like that about the dichonomy of Plato and Aristotle. One being an idealist and the other more practical. I believe Aristotle was the practical one, and the one I most associate with. Luckily I knew enough about both of them (have read most of “Ethics” by Aristotle) and have read up on Plato at-length some time ago that the author of this book did not need to go into detail about every little thing about them. This is a good book but wasn't my first choice of books to read, tbh. The rest of the books I wanna read I had to put on hold. I am getting them through SLCL, but, they are e-books. I am using the Libby app (which allows me to check them out/has a reading format/etc.)

So, all this is fun. I want to read two books a month.

Be back in a bit!

Seach “delete” on Google and...

....the first recommended search query that pops up is :delete Facebook permanently. This is not a custom query for me because A) i just created this Google acct & B) I wouldn't have searched for that anyway because I haven't had a FB acct in well over a year.

People who are on Facebook at this point are completel fools and deserve every bit of privacy loss they felt they were ever in control of. In my case, I dislike America, but moving is very hard. I also dislike Facebook, but i can (and did) delete that fucker in about 15 seconds.

I bring up account deletion on social media because I just deleted my Instagram for about the 12th time. This time is permanent. I literally get headaches when I am sitting there and nedlessly scrolling. Drives me a bit insane. Not good. It is dopamine slot machine that helps no one. Not to mention that it is owned by Facebook, so, is therefore not safe at all.

My photos on there are sub-par, anyway. I will upload to VSCO Cam more often, perhaps (because only GOOD photos go on there.

Anyway, be back in a bit!

#homesweethome

got the paperwork i needed to get for STLCC enrollment. Hope everything gets straightened out before it is too late to enroll in the Fall 18 semester. I will try.

I also about sweating my head off walking to BP to grab a pop & smokies. Terribly hot outside today.

I got exactly nada to do the rest of the day but i have therapy tomorrow, so that is cool.

i feel great, btw.

be back in a bit

Medicine

Just swalled my #meds with a chug of Mt Dew Livewire and some of them broke up in my mouth like some chalky candy. I wish they would prescribe me some sort of gelcaps instead of this insta-dissolve shit (tho, they are not actually “Zydis” or whateverthefuck that's called). The pills taste awful but they make me sane, so, can't complain. (that rhymes)

I am anti-Big Pharma, but, some medications are genuinely GOOD. Things that help people from losing their mind w/ halucinations, things that help with arthritis, things that help with diabetes, etc.; these are all good things, but PREVENTATIVE #medicine is the best medicine and if docotors in the United States were not so “incahoots” w/ Big Pharma(ceutical industries), then we wouldn't have them (the docs) prescribing every little new, trendy, brand name, cleverly-packaged pill to anyone and everyone who has the most minor symptom which isn't even a sympton of ANYTHING! People feel things. People have bodies that don't function 100% all the time and to give them a liver-toxic pill for the rest of their life when they have some joint pain when they are 20, causes a vicious cycle that can quite literally end in a premature death :(

As long as I am on the subject of pharmaceuticals, I must not overlook the tremendous benefits of regular marijuana use. I do not smoke it, myself, but if I could get a medicinal script for it, I certainly would because it could replace two of the three pills that I am taking. In fact, marijuana could replace 90% of the entire pharmaceutical industry's product line should it ever be allowed to be prescribed to patients nationwide as a form of treatment. Tremendous herb/medicine that plant is :)

This is all I have to say on the subject for right now. I can go into more detail later.

Be back in a bit!

coffee is bae

i am sure i have typed that headline before. at least once (or a million times). It is 6:30AM and i have been up since 2AM and i ave somewhere to be in four hours. Well, i leave in four hours.

My thoughts were with climate change last night/this AM. I am not working myself into a tizzy or getting depressed about the soon-to-be-faced realities of humanity, but it does seem grim when you really think about it. I won't spend anymore time on that.

It's sunny, (too) warm, and i am going to make a pilgrimage to the local BP to get a soda and pack of smokes a bit later after i get back. Will put $$$ on my laundry card, too. And then therapy here tomorrow.

So, horray.

Be back in a bit!

Yep. Coffee is keeping me awake.

Which is a v good thing because I have 6 hrs 15 mins before i have to leave for an appt. I look forward to the sunrise though. In fact, I will crack open the sliding glass door so i am sure not to miss it (and because it is 76 degrees out right now :)).

That's better. Hello, crickets.

listening to (and building up) my Punker playlist

added a lot of classic bands tonight (Black Flag, Reagan Youth, Adolescents). And I gotta give Spotify a little bit of props for recommending some p damn obscure bands on punker....radio? IDK, they just start playing bands and i have never heard of them before and a lot of them are p good. Until tonight i had never heard of Fabulous Disaster or Mustard Plug, but, there they are! So, i am enjoying myself even more so now that the fireworks have stopped. No one can go and buy more, either because firework stands are illegal in St Louis County. They would have to drive all the way to Jeff County to buy more (and i doubt that shit is gonna happen).

Nice night.