The Magic of Fatherhood : a toast to dads
The wonderful dads that I know bring something so special and unique to the table and into their children’s lives. I have born witness to some great fathers in my lifetime so far , most notably my own dad and my husband to our kids who embody the essence of fatherhood.
I admire their steadfast solid characters. They are kind, caring, intelligent and hard-working. They have the secret solutions for everything and can fix it all. Even if they don’t know how to at first, they will find away to get it done. They live in the moment and have a calming presence about them. Their love is uncomplicated , unconditional love and the way they parent is, dare I say, practical. Yet they can be goofy and silly have no qualms letting go or letting loose , becoming child-like, mirror images of their own kids possessing the magic to transport themselves back to their own childhood. They are adventurous and often the “fun” parents but still manage to be disciplinarians and quite seamlessly so. They seem to easily know where to draw the line and create healthy boundaries. They are champs at detaching as well ( aka ignoring the messes and chilling on the sofa watching Netflix or even dozing off ) without the kids batting an eye! Maybe this is the secret to not having to run off for a rescue spa day on the verge of burn out.They share their wisdom. They support, protect and encourage their kids to be independent but never hesitate to to step in to fight for them when they need to. They seem to be able to know when to let go, when the littles need to learn figure things out themselves. They do not sweat the small stuff but they’re there for the big stuff.They often don’t dwell on the past and inherently understand the futility of worrying incessantly. They also face pressures of a different kind in our patriarchal society which has a multitude of flaws and yes even a few that disadvantage men.
There’s an ease with which dads parent and carry on most times that makes me curious and amused at the same time and a tinge envious , I have to admit.
I confess that without a doubt, there are more than a few ways that I have tried to emulate them. Like every human on earth, dad‘s have their strengths and their flaws. They have their failures and vices like the rest of us. The best dads invest in their children and family ... with their time, monetarily and with much of their energy. I am blessed to have a father who believed in me and continues to believe in me , along with my dreams and aspirations even when they were merely distant possibilities with whole lot of uncertainty . It would’ve been easier to say no, to listen to others and trudge along the well worn path. But he took a chance on me. He took a chance on my brother. I recall that when I was about 4 , before we knew we would be moving to the U.S. , we attempted to enroll me in a highly sought after school. In retrospect, mostly, it seemed that you needed to know somebody or be somebody. Now my dad’s large extended family is of a fairly humble background as I knew it but well respected and educated. My parent’s immediate circle didn’t have lofty connections though. My dad prompted me to interview and give it my best. He had promised me a reward with my very first sparkly watch, if I were to succeed . Not surprisingly, I didn’t procure a spot. I was heart broken. It was my first taste of personal failure . I didn’t know how broken the system was at the time but that isn’t the point. My courage and faith were restored when my dad returned home beaming and adorning my tiny wrist with the most beautiful embellished watch I had ever set eyes on . He continues to be my pillar of strength even though he is physically halfway around the world. Thank heavens for good fathers!