Have you ever had your greatest fear physically manifest into a person? Let’s take it a step further, what if unbeknownst to you, you picked up and moved 500 miles closer to that person, only to run into them on a weekly basis?

I was 17 years old, sitting in front of what I thought to be, the gateway to my dreams. All of the things that I had dreamt about being; a singer, a songwriter, world-renowned— seemed to be sitting in front of me holding my golden ticket. I was so immersed in the moment, starstruck really, that I didn’t realize the facade- how far away I was from that reality. It was like a sick joke, a translucent wall that I smacked right into. Every artist is eccentric. Every artist has something different about them that separates them from all of the rest. Every artist believes or at least hopes deep down that they will have a chance at “making it”. So when given the opportunity to present yourself to somebody who could, with a click of a button, get you into the biggest Nashville studio or in front of the label of your dreams, you rest every ounce of hope on it. Every ounce of the talent that your friends & family have convinced you that you have- teeters on that moment.

Within seconds of sitting down for a 1:1 meeting with this person, I was posed with a question:

“Tell me about yourself.”

I was ecstatic. Yes! I can answer this. I am prepared. I am well rehearsed! I know EXACTLY what I’m going to say! I mean who doesn’t know me better than, me?!

I started in on my spiel I had prepared about what kind of music I was writing, the kind of artist I wanted to be & where I was from. Within seconds of my rambling I was cut off.

“No. You don’t know who you are. You have no clue, because if you did, you wouldn’t be telling me what you’re about, you’d be proving it to me & telling me who you are, not what you are. You’re not ready for this industry and honestly, unless you change, you’ll probably never be. Okay? Great. Have a nice day & good luck!”

Mic drop. I WISH I was kidding or exaggerating, but I’m not.

He motioned for me to get up so he could move on to the next artist behind me. I was shell shocked. Heartbroken. Furious. I went from feeling like I was on top of the world to feeling like I didn’t belong in my own body.

For months I hated that man. He even encouraged one of my good friends from the same program and set up meeting after meeting with her, only to never show & kept her on his line until he disappeared into thin air. I didn’t understand how somebody could be so cruel. Now, I’m not an idiot. I know how the music industry works. It’s freaking hard. You’re up against everybody & their mother. It’s cutthroat. You have seconds to prove your worth & one wrong move & you’re out. I get it. But I couldn’t comprehend how a human could be so incredibly cruel. That was until I took a step back & realized the underlying meaning behind it all.

Last year I moved to Nashville to pursue music and to fulfill my dreams of being a singer/songwriter. I knew it was going to be hard, but I didn’t know how hard. I had drive, ambition, contacts, everything I needed to be successful except for one thing: money. Nobody tells you this, but it takes A LOT of money to get started. My only logical option at the time was to start a business. At the time I thought that would be the best way for me to do co-writes during the day & play shows at night. That was until I actually started running a business and it became entirely time-consuming. Then I met the boy. Then I got engaged. Then I got married. Then a lot of life happened. Now I’m here. Time FLEW & I never really got a chance to put my plan into action. I also experienced making quite a few friends in the industry who made me realize, maybe the traditional route wasn’t what I wanted- but how would that really work?

I’ve only recently made the breakthrough that you can absolutely pursue more than one creative passion at at time- it just takes a hell of a lot of hustle. It takes knowing that you’re going to change & morph and you will never be the same person you were a year ago, or even 6 months ago! I took a photo of my old branding/music materials from last year and literally was astounded at the changes that have accumulated from the amount of life I’ve had thrown at me in the last year.

Today I sit in Starbucks, writing this out, with that same person, who told me that I would basically “never make it” sitting right behind me. I literally run into him all the time, it’s infuriating. It hurts. He doesn’t even remember me or my face, but he will never know how much he stuck with me- like a bad tick. Every time I see him it’s a reminder of those words he cast onto me. The thoughts that I’m constantly battling in an effort not to completely give up on the gifts that I believe God has given me. But I also take what he said with a grain of salt. Because looking back at who I was at 17, trying to make a name for myself- he was right, I had not a flipping CLUE of who I was as a person and especially as an artist. I used to rebel against people who told me I hadn’t lived enough life to write good songs, but now I realize they were 1000% right. The songs I write now are so much better than the songs I wrote at 15,16,17. And I know that when I look back in 5 years, the songs I write at 25 will be a MILLION times better than the songs I’m writing now.

This whole process takes time. It takes life’s battles. It takes shit hitting the fan to stretch and grow your heart, mind and soul. For me, it took feeling like I was losing everything to even start doing music again. Because of the words that were uttered out of that man's mouth, I stopped doing music for almost two years. Was that right? No. I should've never quit, but I did because my entire worth at the time was intertwined with my ability to write, perform and sing. As soon as I heard that I wasn't good enough, I didn't think I'd ever get good enough. Thankfully, a few important people came into my life less than two years later and showed me that my logic was very skewed and that if I didn't start doing what God had called me to do, I was going to live a miserable life.

They say the industry is cut throat and many have told me that the man in Chicago was probably just trying to show me that. But what I've taken away from that experience three years later is that yes, the industry is difficult, but there are many kind people within. There is a difference between being tough and realistic and prideful and mean. For those of you facing the industry, please don't work with anybody who is power hungry and trying to “dominate” you with their opinion and don't attempt to be that way when you're in a position of power. There are good people in the industry and kind always wins at the end of the day.

With all of that being said, as a creative, taking hold of my talents & my creative inclinations, I am committing to trying. I am committing to doing this for me. I am committing to write songs not for a label or a publishing company, but simply because if I didn’t write- I would implode. I have to sit in this mindset that my hard work will pay off how it's supposed to and let go of the “how”.

Rather than focusing on the map, I have to keep my head up. I have to keep working, learning, stretching, growing, writing, succeeding, failing & giving it my best effort. I haven’t exactly found where I belong yet, but I know it’s going to be a beautiful ending to the song I am writing when I do. In all of this I’ve realized, I am the song I am writing. It will never truly be finished. I will always be tweaking things, putting it through rounds and rounds of production. It might never make it to the mastering process, but I know damn well I’m going to try.

You will be told you can't do it.

You will be ridiculed, criticized, nit-picked and crushed at some point.

Please don't let their words hold any meaning for you.

Please don't allow your heart to be broken over someone else's opinion of you.

Please don't allow their words to dictate your life and decide who you're going to be and how.

Don’t count a few bad words as a loss, count them as an opportunity that you cannot afford to lose. You are an investment worth watching- don’t sell out too early.

Talk soon,

xoxo – Ry

It can be quite easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. We take on things that we aren't meant to, leading us to carry burdens and endure trials that we weren't meant to have to deal with. In this day and age, social media allows us to be overly involved in other peoples lives and to take on the worries and burdens of the people around us- those we care about and those we don't.

I know that a lot of people don't like fall and winter-

It's too cold!!!”

I think that people don't like fall and winter because with the changing of the seasons, our bodies and our minds change too. We get into a place where our bodies naturally want to “add on weight” and not only do we physically add on weight, but we add on emotional and psychological burdens. We convince ourselves that to get through the holiday's we just have to “buckle down and do it” and ignore our emotions. We run ourselves into the ground trying to be everything to everyone, all the time. We deal with a lot of emotions and grief- especially when we have lost a loved one or someone special is associated with this time of year.

I'm not here today to give you any answers, but simply to encourage you. Fall does not have to be a time that you hold onto baggage or take on new baggage. Winter does not have to be cold and depressing- instead if you choose to, you could sit by the fire everyday and feel warmth. You can choose joy even when the snow is coming down.

How do I know this?

The trees. Every year they lose their leaves. If the trees can loose the dead weight, why can't we? If the trees can be covered with snow and bask in the winter sun, why can't we? The trees are nature's way of saying that everything will become new and beautiful in the spring, but for now, there's some reflecting and growing we have to do.

So I encourage you, this fall and winter, don't allow the trials and burdens of the year overcome you. Let go of the dead weight and the things that are holding you back or down. Allow yourself to feel joy and light in these seasons. Reflect on the beauty of Earth and the beauty of your life. Ask for growth and you will receive it.

You may think I'm crazy, comparing so much to the seasons, but the seasons of Earth truly do effect your ability to function in certain ways. Energy is a very real scientific principle and the vibrations of how energy flows during different seasons varies tremendously. Take some time to sit with your thoughts and truly think about the patterns of your life. Do you see any similarities in the seasons compared to trials, losses, wins, etc.? You should.

Take a break.

Go back to that childhood fall walk and breathe in the crisp, refreshing air.

Look at yourself in the mirror and speak words of truth and encouragement over yourself. You are strong and you are enough.

xoxo – Riley Q

“I won't have enough time.”

“Maybe I'm not cut out for this.”

“She does it better.”

“Someone's already doing that.”

“I don't know enough.”

“I'm not talented enough.”

“I tried once but it didn't go like I wanted it to.”

“I have no energy.”

Excuses are the bane of my existence. Not only are they limiting beliefs but they are words that we accumulate for the sole purpose of avoiding our true calling. Excuses aren't pretty and they show someone's character very quickly.

I'm not here today to talk about excuses or about how you're not doing enough, rather I want to present you with an idea.

Yesterday I wrote an article talking about taking care of yourself and what it takes to be an influencer. But today I want to speak to those of you who have the longing to do something like blog on Coil or make videos or whatever- but you're doubting your abilities. I see you because I used to be you.

When entering the world of Coil or any other platform, it can be seriously intimidating. You see all of these people creating awesome content and getting hundreds of thousands of likes and followers and you look at yourself in the mirror and say “I'd never be interesting enough for all of them”. Or maybe you muster up a bit of courage and you do post for the first time and instead of raving reviews and tons of likes, you're left with two likes and one person unfollowed you. That cannonball of fear, doubt, regret and disappointment hits you like a ton of bricks and you're back to square one.

You know, I understand what it feels like. You want to do something so bad, but you have no clue where to start and you feel like you'd be second-best anyways, so there's no point.

I see you, reading all of the articles on Coil and thinking, “I wish I could do that.” I see you.

Well my love, you can. But you have to let go of the limiting beliefs that are holding you back and accept yourself for where you are. I mean, how is somebody else supposed to believe in you, if you don't even believe in yourself?

Here's what you need to know.

You don't have to be the best writer.

You don't have to be the best at making graphics.

You don't have to be the best at making videos.

You don't have to be the best at anything- all you have to do is be.

I know that sounds cliché

No, that's not what I mean.

The reality is that *not* everyone will love you.

The hard truth is that everyone *will* have an opinion and sometimes it won't result in your favor.

The punch to the gut is that you might *not* be featured as much as someone else.

But stop- wait a minute, what's the point then if you're not getting the recognition you want and desire?

There in-lies my exact point.

If you are wanting to write, blog, create, post, etc. for the recognition-

Authenticity and the desire to improve other people's lives ALWAYS shows and anything other than that will be dim in comparison. If you're showing up only to help yourself, you might gain recognition for a second- depending on how flashy you are about it- but it's not going to stick.

People desire to be cared about, listened to and cared FOR. Like I said in my last article, if you're not caring for others, they're not going to care much for you.

That point right there pretty much weeds out those who aren't in this or desiring to do this for the right reasons.

So what about those of you who do you want to blog and create for the right reasons, but you're still too anxious and scared that it won't go well or that you're not “talented” enough?

There my darling is where the principle of being confident and comfortable in your own skin comes in. When you want something to happen, you have to consciously create it.

You have to...

1. Believe that it's possible for you and within you.

2. Trust in the fact that if you declare something is going to happen, the details will work themselves out.

3. Rely on nobody but yourself for your self-confidence and worth. If you are putting your confidence and sense of self in the hands of readers, you will always end up sorely disappointed.

4. Practice and explore your passions. Take 15 minutes to sit without your phone and just daydream. Listen to what your heart and mind are saying. Journal and jot down ideas- your intuition is your best guide. When you do this you will slowly, or quite quickly, figure out what you are supposed to be creating and how.

5. Follow that feeling and start creating! Write about the things that you love and that light your soul on fire! Create videos that make yourself laugh in hopes of bringing others joy. Create tutorials and write a blog about your Swedish grandmother's original recipes and heritage. Anything that you love is worth hearing about, because you are a human and your thoughts and ideas and passions matter.

6. Put your creations to the test by taking the leap and posting and looking for intentional feedback and joining a community who cares. (P.S.– Coil is that community 😉)

7. Sit back and take a breath, you did it love. And now that you've done it once, you can keep doing it over and over again. The confidence will come and the adoration may come as well, but you will be able to know that no matter what, YOU are proud of yourself.

If your heart wants to create, don't deny it that privilege. You deserve to express yourself and in my opinion, Coil is the perfect place to do that. If you haven't started creating yet and you're a little overwhelmed at how to do everything, check out my “Getting Started On Coil: A Collection”. It's a collection of articles highlighting my best tips for using the Coil platform as well as a few articles from other Coilers who have displayed their own expertise!

xoxo – Ry

Financial gain, high ROI's, wealth, fame, status, respect- success.

We come seeking and striving. We fight, or charm, our way into the hearts and screens of our fellow users. We scramble to join forces with others who have already accumulated status. We work to increase our followings so that we can appear “important”. We write and edit and re-edit and direct and film and edit some more, just to try and win the attention of our peers.

But is it worth it?

Is it worth the frustration, the stress, the power struggle and the late nights? What are we trying to gain? Real and unbreakable influence or something that will only last until the next fad?

I'd like to tell you that building a stable brand, networking with the right people and doing all of the things, all of the time is what will “make you”. But I can't tell you that. Instead, I'm going to share a few lessons that I had to learn the hard way throughout my time in the online sphere of business, marketing, branding and social influencing. I don't stand here today saying that I'm perfect or that I have it all figured out. Quite the contrary, I am still working on things, growing and learning- but I have more of a solid foundation under my feet than I have ever had before. The kind of foundation that answers all of my questions and soothes all of my doubts when the day-to-day is getting to me.

In the beginning, things are exciting. It's like a new relationship- a platform hopping with hopeful creatives who have been praying for their big break. We rally together, encouraging one another and lifting each other up on Twitter and other social platforms. Until one day. Things have been cranking along awhile, the buzz is starting to die down and users start falling into patterns. Writers are popping out articles, but as things start to slow down, they start fighting for the “top spots” and the “features”. They start noticing who's content is doing well and they start to borrow ideas and dip a toe in other people's topics to try and boost their own stats. They stop shouting out other users and focus more on their own gain because they get possessive of their audience's attention. Jealousy, selfishness, and division starts to set in. Everyone looks happy on the outside, but things just aren't the same as they were in the beginning.

It's times like these where we can start to question if we're good enough and if it's worth our time and effort to pour our hearts out. Imposter syndrome starts setting in and we question everything. I know you've felt it, as creatives, I dare say we all have. It's times like these where we have to rely on our foundation to see the big picture and remember the WHY behind what we're doing.

I could list probably hundreds of lessons I've learned over the past few years in this department, but today I want to break it down into three parts.

Not the materialistic kind that everyone on Instagram is talking about. The real, deep, self-love kind.

Beyond listing what you're thankful for, this is the kind of gratitude that is active thankfulness & giving back to others through support.

Seeing, believing, trusting and relying on the big picture. This may manifest however you see the world. Whether you believe the Universe is always providing for your highest good, whether you believe that God has a plan, or whether you believe you make your own luck- you still need to see the big picture.

These three concepts are how I've made it as far as I have in my social sphere and honestly, paired with my work ethic, the reasons that I believe I will be successful in life. To be completely transparent, I have always desired success, but I haven't always believed that I was capable of achieving it. My reason behind wanting to be successful has always stayed the same; to honor God and to bring glory to Him by shedding a light on darkness in the industry, loving others unconditionally and by speaking truth via a platform. I believe that this is the life that God has called me to, but it is also a life that I wasn't going to be able to step into until I got a grasp on what it meant to believe and understand that I have a purpose, God has the plan and all I have to do is follow my intuition and God's voice. Through taking huge steps of faith and learning to trust in the bigger plan, I've been able to step onto the path that I was put on earth to walk.

If you'll sit with me a second, please let me break down these concepts for you and how they pertain to life long success.

Self-care has become increasingly popular in the past 20 years because of our consumer-based society. Stores quickly realized that if self-care was encouraged and shopping, expensive bath bombs, indulgence in expensive ice-cream and face masks was self-care, then by all means, bring on all of the self-care! But what people have started to realize, especially women, is that at the end of the day, the clothes get holes, the baths get cold, the carton of ice-cream is empty and the face-masks make us break out. We are left with a feeling of emptiness and we end up feeling worse than we did before we started. I'd like to talk about what I believe to be true self-care.

First, what makes you happy? I mean truly, light-up-like-a-Christmas-tree, can't-help-but-smile happy? What lights your soul up and makes you feel alive?

How often do you do that thing? How often are you filling your cup up by doing things that bring you joy?

Who are you spending time with? Are you sharing an equal exchange of energy or are you being drained?

What are you eating? Do you feel energized and alive or do you feel drowsy and heavy?

Are you resting? Are you sleeping well and taking days off work or are you working from the moment you wake up until the moment you fall asleep?

I think you know where I'm heading. This society is so dead set on “fixing” things with shopping and food that we forget that by simply doing the things that we already should be doing we can easily access our highest self. How would it feel to be able to operate at the top of your ability? To know that you were cranking out ideas and content that was amazing because YOU were actively being amazing? People make it out to be so much harder than it actually has to be- but just look at some of the most successful AND happy people in the world. They didn't get there simply by working sun up to sun down- most people who do this are miserable and their success takes much longer, if they ever even achieve it. Instead, they take time for themselves, they do the things that bring them joy & inspires them (inspiration = motivation). They spend time with people who raise their vibrational frequencies and make them feel empowered and encouraged. They eat foods that make them feel good and give them energy to perform the tasks at hand. They take time off to spend with their friends and family and to spend by themselves truly resting. Trust me, they work- hard. But in order to crank out unique and profitable products and ideas and content on a long-term, sustainable basis, they take care of themselves.

So now that you're taking care of yourself and you're not burn out or spending time with people or spending time doing things that make you feel awful, you can start to give back. It's important to know that you cannot fill other's cups unless your cup is full. It's the same concept as the oxygen mask- you cannot put your oxygen mask on your child if you're passed out. It's as simple as that.

Gratitude is often reserved for holidays such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. We wait all year long to gather around a table and state the things we are thankful for. We wait until it's convenient and is picture-worthy to go and take care of the people that need help and to give back. But I'd like you to think on something. How do you feel when you encourage someone else? How do you feel when you lift someone up? How do you feel when you help someone? It feels good, doesn't it? This is because there is a transfer of positive energy when you give back. Whether you are thanking someone, the universe, or God for something you have or you are physically loving on someone with an action or money and giving back in that way- there is a transfer of energy. You feel good because you are putting forth good. A lot of people call this karma, but I like to think of it as energy investments. Once you are in a place where you have energy to give (aka: self-care is implemented) you can truly start to be active in your gratitude.

When we become selfish and jealous and we start to push others down for our own sake, we start to feel icky inside. Our channels of creativity will soon become blocked and our ability to create high-quality ideas and products will soon come to a full blown stop. Why is this? Because we withheld gratitude and love from someone that we knew needed it/was ready to receive it. When we withhold or take away a blessing that was meant for someone else, it often turns into a curse or a burden.

By lifting others up, “shouting” them out, encouraging them and stating how thankful you are for them and their support, you will then be opening yourself up for a potential blessing and a return for the positive exchange that you put forward.

I often encourage people to write out the things that they are thankful for and to write down a few people that they want to uplift or show gratitude towards.

You can almost think of this as showing your gratitude back to “the Universe” or God and thanking it/Him for the ability to be in community with these people and for the opportunities allowed for you. Then by giving back and doing acts of service, you are going above and beyond to say “thank you”. It's a slightly hard topic to grasp and truly understand, but I really recommend that you consider it- it might just change your life and your circumstances.

Personally, I have seen an increase in my quality of life and in the quality of my business and social interactions. This world needs more good, kind, loving people and we need to support each other rather than tear each other down. Don't miss an opportunity to bless someone, even if it's just with a smile, you will regret it.

Once you have grasped the concept of taking care of yourself and then taking care of the people around you, you will start to see the big picture more clearly. You will start to see that really, the only thing that matters is how you make other people feel and how you are impacting others lives. My life is not my own. My life and my mere existence is dedicated to loving other people and helping people as much as I can. My big picture means that I make sacrifices now so that I can bless others in big ways later.

By having my big picture goals I know that I can stand strong even when things get hard or boring or mundane. This means that when I don't feel like posting on Coil or interacting with my followers on Twitter, I'm still going to because I know they're a part of the big picture. When I don't feel like working with clients, I do anyways because it means there's more money going into my music which blesses people in a positive way. Oftentimes when I go into these things with a good attitude, I end up coming out of them with more blessings than I could've imagined. You see, God/the Universe wants to bless you more than you could even imagine, but you have to put the work in, be intentional and keep your eyes on the bigger picture.

I often lose sight of this concept because I have a tendency to drown myself in the moment. This is why I make it a priority to have people around and in my corner who I know are focused on the big picture. People like my husband, Dustin, or my close friends who are there to encourage me when I've had enough or don't see the point anymore. They are there to remind me of all of the people that I currently impact and the even greater impact I will have one day if I just keep trudging along.

So keep going my loves.

You've got this, even on the days when you feel like you don't. There is a greater purpose out there for you if you will accept it. Blessings beyond what you could imagine are possible for you, if you'll take yourself into consideration for the role of the receiver.

Take care of you, take care of others, give back, be thankful, keep your eyes on the big picture and work hard- success will find you.

Mental health is a hot topic of conversation in the 21st century. Swarms of people are stepping out of the woodwork to discuss their struggles, inner demons and to help break the stigma. Tattoo artists are cranking out hundreds of semi-colon tattoos for those looking to honor their friends and family who are either struggling with mental health or for those who lost their battle. Therapy, medication and mental health days are becoming increasingly more popular and people are getting more and more confident in sharing when they need help.

But is that always the case?

As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression and has a lot of friends and family who struggle with various types of mental health issues- I feel like I can speak on this topic.

Yes, as a society we have opened our hearts and minds to those who are struggling from within- but what about the cases where we haven't? What about the cases where we actively poke fun at “the girl who changes her hair color every day” or “the boy who takes the F on his oral exam because he's too scared” or “the lady at the store who one minute is complementing your shirt and the next minute is yelling that the store has the wrong type of peaches”?

What about them? Do you stop and consider that there may be mental health issues underneath the surface? Or do you write them off as “outcasts”, “crazy”, “weird”, or “attention seeking”? Sit with me for a second and consider this.

That girl who changes her hair color every day, she's suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) which was previously known as multiple personality disorder. Her brain can't keep her personalities straight and in an attempt to try and make it all make sense, she changes her hair color, over and over again. You may look at her as strange or attention seeking, but really she just wants a friend who will stick with her through all of her personalities.

That boy who you laughed at in school when he'd run out of the classroom in embarrassment – he's struggling with extreme anxiety. He didn't sleep last night because he was obsessing over everything that would go wrong with his speech. When he finally got up to do it, he started shaking and crying because he was so terrified of what his classmates would think or the grade he would get. Rather than face it, his body went into fight-or-flight mode. This isn't a bad student- that's bad anxiety.

Finally, the woman at the store who you thought was sweet but then walked away thinking she was a nut job- she's bipolar. Maybe she hasn't gotten on meds yet, maybe they just adjusted her prescription- she might not even be diagnosed yet. She gets embarrassed because she knows it's not socially acceptable, but that's usually after the fact. Sometimes she doesn't even realize what triggers her outbursts and sometimes she doesn't even remember them. All she knows is that everyone looks at her like she's crazy and she always loses the people she cares about most.

These my friends:

mental health issues in plain sight.

These are the situations that we don't even realize we encounter, because society has taught us to run away from people with behavior or tendencies that are different than our own.

But these “situations”, they are people. People with hearts, souls, dreams and passions; they're longing to just feel normal. I'm not exactly sure when in time we started treating people with mental health conditions as outcasts, probably the beginning of time, knowing people. But I'm here to tell you that the practice of shutting out people because they don't have total control over their thoughts and actions is not okay. In the same way that you are taught not to discriminate against those with diabetes or those who are medically obese, treating people with a mental health illness as disruptive is rude and unethical. We've been encouraged, especially so in the 21st century, to be inclusive and sensitive to those who have different circumstances, so why doesn't this apply to mental health?

Enough ranting.

What can you do to change?

There isn't a simple solution to this problem unless there is a widespread acceptance of the following practices.

1. Familiarize yourself with the varying types of mental health issues that are out there. Understand the ways that they manifest and how that might look in the real world.

2. Train your brain to question odd behavior and to have grace and love for those who are different from you. Rather than writing someone off as “crazy” in public, smile at them and if they're having a public breakdown, ask them if they need to talk to someone or if they're okay. By treating them like you would if someone collapsed in the store from low blood sugar... aka: sticking by their side until you knew they were okay- you're simply being a good human. We need more good humans in the world, so be one.

If someone you know is struggling or you would like to know how to spot the signs:

Let us not fall silent when our brothers and sisters need us most. Scroll to the bottom of this article for more links and information.

3. Talk about mental health and ask people how they are doing. Be someone that people can talk to, even if it's simply just an update on life in general. When you open up that door, it allows people to know that they have a safe place, even when they feel like they have nothing left. These conversations might surprise you, so be prepared. Way more people than you would ever probably realize struggle with mental health; friends and family alike. When you ask people how they're doing, stick around for the answer. Don't just ask and run on with what you were doing or saying, seriously listen (and not to answer or fix) and stay awhile. People want to be heard, seen, understood and loved. So hear them, see them, seek to understand them, and love them- unconditionally. It really is as simple as that.

4. Stand up for those around you who are obviously struggling. Encourage those who are struggling, shut down the gossip, meet hatred with love and strive to educate. The words may fly and the tears might flow, but at least they will know that there is always someone in their corner who loves them for who they actually are rather than focusing solely on their illness.

The #1 thing that most people with mental health illness want you to know: their illness is not who they are, it does not define them and there is a person underneath “the crazy”. Trust me, most of us know that we're a bit odd and that sometimes we are a special kind of crazy, but that doesn't mean we want to be treated like that 24/7. We're trying to figure things out. We're trying to get our brains balanced. We're trying therapy, new medications, oils, affirmations, meditations, groups, rehab centers, doctors, smiling- we're trying. So please, give us a break, give us the benefit of the doubt, give us a hug and try and treat us like everyone else. We'll try to let you know if we need space or a little bit of extra love.

If you are struggling with mental health issues and you're not getting the help you need and deserve, see below.

Hugs,

xoxo- Ry

If you are struggling and need help:

1-800-273-8255 – National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Find a nearby chapter – American Foundation of Suicide Prevention

Text this crisis link – (text HELLO to 741741)

Check out: https://save.org/

Instagram Resources:

+ The Buddy Project

+ Hope For The Day

“And if today all you did was hold yourself together, I am proud of you.”