another airport
another green tea
but green tea at the airport?
a first
for everything,
change happens within change,
waves happen within waves
heat burns from within
hm
a moment of clarity
an image of a woman
you think of her eyes
think of the way she sees and understands
think of the ways you do and don’t understand—
so many ways
so many ways of being
so many wavy tresses, string theory loads
imagine being named after a widely distributed shrub with thorns and berries,
imagine meeting someone on the internet,
imagine eating a banana at the airport,
another airport
another airport
i didn’t know
how to end my poem
but then
i saw a sign
that said
lily ponds, desert garden
exit.
wake up
and cry
and kiss
and dress
and walk
to the shop
a pour over, summer solstice
green matcha with oat milk
then the car
then goodbyes
then the day
then the day
then the day.
the easy waves of the Mediterranean
stay with me, rocking me
as if it really is all connected—
a gentle turquoise burning
sun of a smiling dog in the sand,
warm in its winter coat
in midsummer.
FOR ANA
sometimes when i’m flying
i look around and wonder
why people think the sky’s so big and great
when it’s only got three measly colors—
blue, white, and gray maybe—
hardly the majestic
set of ingredients you’d use
to bake a slice of heaven.
P—, perla de Miami,
mini conquistadora mía,
te mando esta nota desde Mallorca,
solo pa’ decir hola
y que todavía sueño
de tus ojos de diamante
y tu voz radiante
abriendo tu corazón
cantando muy calladito
diciendo que estas cansado
apagando las luces en el cielo.
when talk therapy isn’t enough
i try other things
like walk therapy
and eat therapy
and kiss therapy
and stretch therapy
and text therapy
and tiktok therapy
and instagram therapy
and new music friday therapy
wake up and walk to the sunrise therapy
morning dew on a lily pad therapy
ocean waves crashing therapy
plunge into the ice cold bay therapy
single americano with pistachio biscotti therapy
roll around giggling in the leaves therapy
mull a move to the redwoods therapy
purchase six nonrefundable flights therapy
dive right in the brasilian wax therapy
throw up crying in the bathroom therapy
decadent cup of chocolate therapy
dance in the club alone therapy
hot femme fun and games therapy
keep it cuuuuuuuuute therapy
take photos in the mirror therapy
snap a million wildflowers therapy
gaze the moon move therapy
jump into the fire therapy
splashing creek therapy
swallow shroom therapy
plan a party therapy
plan another party therapy
call my best friend therapy
call another best friend therapy
call another best friend therapy
call another best friend therapy
go to a friend’s father’s funeral therapy
tell my friends i love them therapy
tell my family i love them therapy
tell myself i love me therapy
meet a new dog therapy
and
look into the eyes of the dog,
and pat the head of the dog,
and feed bits of chicken to the dog,
and scratch the heck outta the neck of the dog,
and imagine myself kissing the head of MY dog,
and remember that she’ll be a dead dog one day,
and remember that i’ll be a dead dog one day,
and remember that i’m alive today,
and remember to live today
like a lucky dog
therapy.
the dark morning.
the eyelids saying no.
the bright morning, warm and heavy.
the tile, the dust, and the little dog.
all the little dogs, yelling like timberwolves.
the curtains. the white, wispy curtains long and luxurious flowing from the ceiling to the ground, gathering the warm tropical breath of the countryside and playing ghosts in the bedroom.
the screen against the window, flapping.
the nose against the screen, tears welling up but not pouring forth.
outside, the potted plants, music from a television set, living things.
the breeze blows again, a wall of leaves shimmers.
tears fall.
a smile forms.
another moment.
what do I believe to be true?
i am here
and it is now—
i’m alive
and i will die—
peace is the dream
and love is the way.
one day all this hair will fall out
one day my breathing will cease
one day my skull will turn to powder
but until then i’ll dance
until then i’ll breathe
until then i’ll be me
and maybe beyond that too.