smileytraveler

Somewhere in Florida

Squeaky clean in the morning, sticky-salty by 2. High summer in the tropics. I want to complain, but I just can't. There's something invigorating about sweating this much. Perhaps the word I'm looking for is purifying? Like getting rid of sin.

Supposed to get some work done today. When the thoughts got too busy, we took a walk but in my mind, it was a mini-adventure.

Through neighborhoods. Turned east to splash in waves. Back out onto the road where the people-watching is grand.

I guess he's the new Clyde for this Bonnie. I'll take it. There's no law your Clyde's gotta be human.

This is the final hurrah. Either I put my head down and rip shit up here (in a good, carpe diem, sorta way) or we're getting the hell out.

And I'm not talking “backpacking Europe, travel to cute hostels, start a YouTube travel channel so we can be 'influencers'” kinda get the hell out.

I'm talking Walden Pond get the hell out.

I'm talking go live at an ashram and do God-knows-what-those-hippies-do-there get the hell out.

Wander into the desert, hope some nice Native Americans smoke you out with peyote and teach you how to chill the fuck out and love your life get the hell out.

Not quite Chris McCandless get the hell out, mind you. But each day that goes by I understand that dude a little bit more. I still think he was a selfish prick just up-and-leaving his family the way he did. But sometimes you can't tell your family just what your real desires are. Your “calling in life” is just too crazy for them to understand. Best to leave quietly without incident.

However! You don't have to add insult to injury by burning your college fund, or whatever the hell he did...I can't remember...or abandon your car for someone else to find and wonder if you're dead or alive. That's downright mean.

But Mr. Supertramp, if you can hear me, I might secretly be a little jealous of you. How absolutely free you must have felt in those moments. You know, the car and the college fund and stuff. What better way to take ownership of your decision and give yourself no choice but to move forward. Fear is the most potent inhibitor.

Yes, every year that goes by I give fewer fucks.

Also, every year that goes by I turn up the heat a little more on what it means to live. Y'all think I'm crazy and weird now?

I get the feeling we ain't seen nothin' yet.