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I cut myself again. Not as an emo. But accidentally.
I cut myself again. Not as an emo. But accidentally.
I also wasn't trying to be a genuine writer because it was a virtue either. I knew what sold in writing. Romanticizing beauty and moralizing self-righteous causes. Already did it. Felt very nauseous. My alternative strategy was focusing on logical reasoning, rhythm and spacing.
Oh I will definitely sell out if I can. But I was crying drawing pretty girls so that probably won't happen because I physically can't.
Also the amount of backstabbing and cruelty among socialists should be documented as a case study of what happens when you disavow greed.
It's also the opposite of whatever is going on in r/autism and r/aspergers. Because when activists market themselves as truth-tellers and justice seekers, it only attracts people who are looking for a get-out-of-accountability-free card.
Normally if you learn friendship relationally, you also learn ethics relationally. It's wildly different from what social norms say or what those kids with philosophy special interest parrot what they read.
Got this profitable idea when I was 19, which then afforded me 1 year abroad studying. Probably should have thought that one through. Because I hated myself the next year and sabotaged the whole thing. But don't worry, I already read all the books in the library, finished every computer courses, used all the equipment and had the extra key to the labs.
So when people say I have too much freedom and try to fix my lifestyle to be more responsible, what they don't know is, if they ever accept their own responsibility in whatever choice they have, they won't feel the need to tell others what to do when it doesn't affect them just because they are unhappy with their own lives.
Well not totally normal. But weird and way cooler.
People would be surprised that their seemingly depressed people-pleasing friend who always puts others' needs first, attends food not bombs twice a week, always worries for their fellow humans of the world, has trouble with emotional vulnerability, is the more narcissistically disordered one. And the one with evil politics is actually totally normal.
Watched Indie Game: The Movie and people said those guys were too egoistic and dramatic. All the while I was thinking to myself, seemed like they were the exact crowd I wanted to hang out with.
Being surrounded by business major was one of the worst experiences ever for anyone with healthy emotions. But I wasn't exactly happy when I worked in the industry that was famous for having the nicest colleagues either.
To write anything personal, or to create anything personal, takes a certain amount of narcissism. If you don't think of yourself better than others, then it's hard to say or do it in front of an audience.
Another direction is to be as pleasing to as many people as possible. But it would be the opposite of making something personal.
Working on my theory on means of production. Also have another totally unrelated theory, but I'm not gonna say what it is.