thaison

Talking about sadism makes things weird. Here's the explanation.

In object relations, a mother can sometimes feel frustrated, annoyed, and hateful toward the child (think about all the things you did before 10!). To act on the hate is as damaging to the relationship as to deny the hate (since denying it doesn't make it go away and often comes back as passive-aggressive,...)

Then the child learns it to apply to their relationship later in life. To their parents, as well as their friends, and spouses. When they deny that hate can be a part of a relationship, we say that they lack whole object relation. That's why a big SIGN of personality disorders is the idealization of the parents.

So someone with whole object relations might think “Why do I have to deny I want to punch someone? I wouldn't do it anyway!”. Because the fact that you hate someone and desire to hurt them is irrelevant to what you would actually do.

But someone who lacks whole object relations will be scared by the first thought of their own hatred. That's why they anti-war, that's why they anti-capitalism. But denying it doesn't make it go away. In fact, it makes it MUCH EASIER for them to be exploitative. Because they don't have to think about the consequences of damaging a relationship.

You are strict it was pretty scary.

Talking about sadism, do you even remember which answers were marked unacceptable by you?

Last week I read reviews of DIGIC Pictures on Glassdoor. Someone complained that their colleagues can only talk about superheroes. Yes, they are that boring, and not just in Europe.

Being sad and nostalgic is extremely easy when you have a sheltered life. Most songwriters stop being sad and become either obsessive or narcissistic after they become adults. It shows in their writings. But that applies to other people that are not songwriters as well.

Therapists often brag about how they are depressive, but their training only amplifies their narcissism.

People work in arts are way more depressive. Just because their jobs are where their sadness can be useful and make them popular among their peers.

Unfortunately most of those art people lack analytical minds to have realistic views of the world. And lack sadism to deal with difficult things. Which makes their misery relatable exactly by the length of a song. Because any more than that is incredibly unattractive.

I don't even hate the tariff thing because when people call “corporate greed” for outsourcing, I know they are lying to themselves about their own greed. And when they scream “uNionIzing”, they continue to lie about their love for productivity as well. So maybe sometimes things need to be artificially restricted just so people can behave better. I just don't want them to be poor because it benefits me better when they stay rich.

Goodnight M.

Just that people will make judgments, no matter how hard they try to be tactful or considerate. And I don't really care for approval or disapproval, even if they are friends or family. Not because I think I'm better, though I am too confident. And many times what I think turns out wrong. I still wouldn't do things differently. I don't think there is any safer way to do it.

I'm not that “close” to my best friends 1 and 2 either. I mean, yes, we hang out once every few years and we don't need to pretend we are better than reality with each other. But they don't know anything about my love life, barely know about my job, and not at all about my family. Which is why, at first, I was reluctant to keep the relationships going because they seemed to have normal friends who knew more and hung out more often and I didn't know where I stood. But they put up with my dysfunction till now, so I guess it's final. And they are fine with me not talking about things. I don't like pushy people who cheat their way through the trust process just to pry more information.