Nah, I'm very super clingy when we're close. I just don't like it when people skip the get-to-know-each-other step and just assume we have to be friends and spend time together and be “vulnerable” just because we happened to sit next to each other at school or share the need to pay rent half price.
Narcissistic boys and narcissistic girls spend too much time convincing each other and themselves that they don't need others' appreciation.
“I pursue this very social hobby because I'm just cool.” “I make up to intimidate other girls, not to attract boys.”
Me personally, whenever I do something, I ask myself, “Would I still do this if no one knows?”.
That's how I realize I do most things for attention. Might not necessarily be everyone's attention. But definitely someone's attention.
My first roommate went into a depressive episode when she found out I didn't know her name after 3 months of living together.
She introduced herself when we first met. I memorized her name for a day. It was a Czech name. Then a few days later, I realized I had already forgotten it. But I was very busy catching the train early enough for school every day and still managed to be late anyway. By the time I got to it, a month had already passed by.
You can't ask someone's name after a month. So I didn't.
The difference is infinite between how I intentionally treat normal boys rudely to make sure they would leave me alone, and boy that I like so much that everyone else suddenly becomes uglier and uglier.
I just want to announce that when boys discuss with each other about what makes them attractive to the girls. And they think being powerful and competent is the answer. It might be. Associating yourself with someone who is better than most people at something feels pretty empowered just by doing almost nothing. But it's also narcissism. And while some people can sustain on narcissism alone. Many people would require other things as well for emotional attachment.
In college, I shared a flat with 3 STEM boys. One in computer science, one in chemistry and one in construction. They were all lame and some of them said very stupid things without knowing it was stupid. I also had to tell them to shut up in the middle of the night several times when they were playing games. But I enjoyed living with them. Whenever I lived with girls, they got mad I refused to go to the movies or be friends with them. They would question their entire existence when I said I would rather do homework. But boys left me alone. I threw money at them, “Here's for the bills”, and I didn't have to talk to them for the rest of the month. I think they were scared of me.
Goodnight M.
In elementary, I also solved math several times in my dreams. The trick is to think about the subjects of the dreams a lot. Then we can be productive all day.
I had a new romantic idea since the dream last night.
